Anon in Canterlot Part 1
Chapter 6
A calm autumn breeze blows as Anon takes a deep breath. A few leaves fall from the almost bare trees on Anon's property. Anon tightens his grip on his KA-BAR knife as he gets into a kali fighting stance. His eyes are closed, but he quickly opens them. Suddenly, Anon sidekicks the air. He follows up with many slashes, stabs, and strikes that follow the techniques of Brazilian jiu-jitsu and other martial arts modified for knife fighting. After about two or three minutes, Anon finishes throwing his knife at a tree trunk. Disappointingly, the knife bounces off and lands nearby. Anon grunts in frustration. He controls his breathing as he walks over to his knife. Anon picks it up and goes into his house. For the past week, Anon has been going outside and doing this for a half-hour. He thought it would be good practice since he almost died defending Fluttershy and Hard Cider. Anon knew he needed to get better at defending himself.
It's been a week since Anon's decision to move to Canterlot. Today is the day he makes his move. Anon is mostly packed, aside from his bedding and his journal. Anon puts on his shirt and slides his knife back into its sheath. He puts his journal in his already stuffed backpack. He rolls up the blanket Rarity gave him as you would a sleeping bag. Anon ties the blanket to the top of his pack via some rope he bought yesterday.
Then, Anon hears a knock on the front door. He remembers that Princess Celestia had told him she would send one of the Royal Guards to escort him to Canterlot via a train. Anon doesn't understand why he needs an armed escort. It's not like one of the nobles would attack him. Was the guard's presence needed to prevent Anon from attacking a noble? Fair enough, considering Anon's less-than-favorable opinion of them.
Anon opens the door and looks down. He sees a dark purple unicorn mare dressed in Royal Guard armor. The armor has light purple markings, signifying that she is a commissioned officer, and the blue plume is longer in the back of her helmet. What stands out the most is the mare's horn, which protrudes from a hole in the helmet, is broken, and a noticeable scar vertically runs down her right eye.
"Good morning," Anon greets. "Are you the guard that Princess Celestia sent?"
"Yes, I am," the guard replies. Her voice is calm, but it carries a significant amount of authority. "You must be Anonymous."
"Guilty as charged, but most ponies call me Anon. What's your name?"
"I am Captain Tempest Shadow of the Royal Guard."
Anon raises an eyebrow. "Captain? How many captains are in the Royal Guard?"
"Fifteen."
"There's quite a few of you. How come I've only heard about two or three?"
"The few you hear about are usually the top of their class in everything, and their parents are high on the nobility totem pole."
"That would explain why I've never heard of you. No offense, Captain."
"No offense taken. It's just the way things are."
"Why don't you come in and take a seat, Captain? It's chilly outside."
Anon steps out of the way as Tempest walks through the doorway. She sits on the couch facing the window as Anon walks into the bare kitchen. He reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of craft beer. He uses his multitool bottle cap opener and opens the bottle. Anon walks over and sits across from Tempest. He takes a sip of his beer.
"So, Captain Tempest, what does it take to be a Royal Guard?" Anon asks.
"As you may have heard or read, the Royal Guard is an elite branch of soldiers in the Equestrian Armed Forces. All you have to do is enlist, but the training is difficult. Most recruiters insist on joining the Solar Guard before enlisting in the Royal Guard."
"The Lunar Guard can't apply?"
"No. It's due to the thestrals that make up 60% of the Lunar Guard. Most of the noble ponies consider them to be demons, which thestrals are anyway. The nobles think that thestrals infect the minds of the 'regular ponies,' making them 'unfit to be Royal Guardsponies.' The advisers at the time and King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia decided that only the Solar Guards could apply."
"That doesn't make any fucking sense."
"You're telling me. Once you've entered the Royal Guard training and passed the tests, you can wear the blue plumes instead of the white ones. Ponies in the Royal Academy can go directly into training after graduating since they spent years training, studying, and thousands of bits for tuition to be Royal Guards. If they do pass, they become commissioned officers."
"Interesting." Anon takes a sip of his beer. "Hey, do you mind if I go someplace before we leave? I need to say 'goodbye' to an old friend."
"Sure, if we leave in a few minutes."
"Let me see if I have anything else I need to pack. Then we'll leave."
Anon finishes his beer, puts the bottle in a nearby trashcan, and enters his bedroom. He looks under his bed, in the drawers of his desk, and in his chest of drawers. Once he looks through all of the places he might have left something, he puts on his camouflage cap.
He walks back into the living room. Tempest is waiting by the door, so Anon puts on his backpack and leaves the house. He waits for Tempest to step out of the house before closing the door and locking it. Anon walks about fifty feet before taking one last look at his home. He stands there for a few moments and sighs deeply.
"Having second thoughts?" Tempest asks.
"Nah. I've put my blood and sweat into that house. Hard to leave it behind," Anon replies.
"Can't say I understand."
Anon looks at the house until he turns around and leads Tempest into Ponyville. The townsponies wave at Anon. He waves back.
Tempest finds it strange that the ponies of Ponyville have trusted this bipedal creature. Something about Anon makes Tempest nervous, and it's rare for something to make Tempest nervous. Perhaps it's his size. No, it can't be. The Storm Guards she commanded when she served the Storm King were much larger than Anon. However, Anon's size and muscular build do seem threatening. Tempest had heard about Anon's fight with the griffins. It is impressive that he incapacitated three of them with his bare hands and killed one with a knife. Although, she did hear about Anon getting stabbed and almost dying. Perhaps it was the blind rage described in a report given to Princess Celestia.
Eventually, the two teach Hard Cider's Watering Hole. Tempest furrows her eyebrows as Anon opens the door.
"What are you doing here?"
"Getting a drink and saying goodbye to someone."
"You just had a drink."
"What can I say? I love alcohol. Are you coming in or what?"
"Since I'm your escort, I have no choice."
Anon walks through the entrance and up to the bar where Hard Cider is sitting at his usual spot, reading the Ponyville Express. Hard Cider sets down his paper and grins as Anon and Tempest approach. He turns around and uses his magic to get two glasses and a bottle of bourbon. Then, he puts three ice cubes using his magic and pours the whiskey into the glasses. Anon picks up the glass.
"You know me too well, Hard Cider," Anon says, smiling as he takes a sip.
"As a bartender, I must know everyponys' usual drink."
Hard Cider begins to sip his drink, but he looks at Tempest, standing a few feet behind Anon.
"I'm assuming you are on duty, Captain," Hard Cider tells Tempest.
"Yes, sir. Although, I would like to have a glass of water."
Hard Cider turns around and fills a glass with water. Anon, however, is confused.
"How did you know she was a captain?" Anon asks.
"Look at her shoulder plates. Do you see two silver bars that are connected?"
Anon looks over at Tempest's shoulder plates as she sits down. "I do. How did you see that from ten feet away? The Captain's bars aren't exactly easy to see."
"You learn real quick to notice a CO's rank insignia. A friend of mine, Private Blacksmith, got chewed the hell out for not saluting a sergeant. He didn't even see the stripes on the armor," Hard Cider explains.
Tempest uses her magic to pick up her glass. Anon notices the aura of her magic appears ragged and unstable, much like Kylo Ren's lightsaber. The magic's aura is light blue. Tempest drinks the water and sets the glass down.
"You were a guardspony?" Tempest asks Hard Cider.
"Yes. I was a Solar Guard for one year and a Royal Guard for three years."
"That would explain your knowledge of the Guard manual."
"I remember a few parts. It's been a while since I've looked at it."
Hard Cider and Anon simultaneously drink the rest of their drinks. Anon pushes his glass aside as he stands up.
"It's been good knowing you, Hard Cider. You've been a great friend to me. I don't say that to a lot of people."
"You've been a great friend, as well. I typically don't make friends with my patrons, but you are an exception. I'll miss having you swinging by for a drink and a chat."
"Me, too, buddy." Anon sticks out his hand. Hard Cider sets his hoof in Anon's hand, and Anon shakes it.
"Take care of yourself, Anon."
"You, too."
Anon releases Hard Cider's hoof and turns to walk out of the bar. Tempest is close behind. Then, Anon hears Hard Cider call out to him.
"Hey, Anon. If you're looking for a place to drink, go to Flasks and Mugs. It's a bar close to the castle, and it's owned by my cousin Smooth Bourbon and his wife, Sweet Mimosa. I sent a letter telling them to watch for you."
"I'll take a look at it. See you."
"See you, too."
Anon and Tempest leave the bar, leaving Hard Cider with his newspaper. Hard Cider uses his magic to pick it up. He tries to read an article about pony settlers in the Griffin Empire being persecuted by the local griffins. The king of the empire, King Grover the Second, is trying to end the persecution by opening trade and diplomatic negotiations with Equestria. However, Hard Cider isn't able to focus. His mind begins to wander. He turns to the photo of him and Bronze Greaves with Captain Spear Shaft unintentionally photobombing in the background. Hard Cider notices that Anon and Bronze Greaves are very much alike. Young, restless, a fighter, and a good taste in alcohol. It makes Hard Cider sad to see Anon leave. Hard Cider doesn't have many friends as a bartender. Anon is one of those few who sees Hard Cider as more than a local bartender. Most of the time, ponies see him as such, not as a stallion you drink and talk your troubles away with. A single tear falls as Hard Cider sets down his paper. He uses his hoof to wipe it out.
Then, he spots a stallion with a blue coat, white mane, and tail sitting at the bar. The stallion looks depressed.
"What can I get you, sir?" Hard Cider asks.
"The strongest thing you've got to drink," the stallion responds.
"Rough morning, huh?"
"A shitty life is more like it."
"Care to share?"
"If you've got time."
Hard Cider smiles. "I've got plenty."
Waiting at the train station, Anon and Captain Tempest sit on a bench near the ticket booth. Tempest is making slight adjustments to her armor via her magic. Anon slumps on the bench, trying to take a quick nap, with his cap pulled down; however, sleep evades him. He had been trying to nap for half an hour. Eventually, Anon sighs and gives up. He sits up and raises his cap.
"Seriously, why couldn't Princess Celestia pick me in the Royal Chariot?" Anon asks. "It would have been much quicker than waiting and riding a train for three fucking hours."
"I guess the nobles would get suspicious if they saw you are riding with the Princess," Tempest replies.
Anon chuckles. "I supposed so."
Then, they hear the faint whistle of a train whistle—Anon spots puffs of steam. Anon stands up and puts on his backpack. Tempest stands up, as well. The train slowly pulls into the station, and the car doors open. A few ponies exit the passenger car doors.
Anon and Tempest are about to board when Anon hears a familiar bookmark Princess's voice call out to him. He turns around and sees the Mane 6 and Spike walking to the train station. Twilight is wearing the saddlebag she usually carries.
"Girls, what are you doing here?" Anon asks.
"We came to see you off, silly," Pinkie Pie laughs. Anon hears a groan from Tempest. "Fizzlepop Berrytwist? You're the guard that Princess Celestia sent."
"Yes, I am," Tempest replies coldly. "And it's Captain Tempest Shadow, now."
Anon looks down at Tempest in confusion. "Wait. Tempest Shadow isn't your real name?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Entiendo más de lo que piensa, Capitán." (I understand more than you think, Captain.)
Tempest raises an eyebrow. "What did you say?"
"Nothing. Anyway, I appreciate you girls coming to say 'goodbye.'"
"We wouldn't miss it for the world, darling," Rarity says.
"This is a big step you are taking," Fluttershy says
"C'mon, everyone. It's no big deal," Anon replies
"NO BIG DEAL!!!" Pinkie shrieks. Everyone winces as Pinkie's shrill shout almost shatters their eardrums. "You're moving to Canterlot Castle! Of course, it's a big deal! It's a huge deal!"
"If I need to spend a weekend down here, I'll get on the earliest train to Ponyville."
"You promise?" Applejack asks.
Anon gives an Eagle Scout salute. "Scout's honor."
"We also wanted to give you something before you leave for Canterlot," Twilight announces as her horn lights up. She pulls a picture frame from her saddlebag and puts it in Anon's hands.
In the frame is a picture taken on the night of Anon's hero's party. The image is of everyone that was there. Anon doesn't understand why, but a tear falls from his eye. The Mane 6 is in shock. The man who hides his emotions blankly is shedding a tear. Anon wipes away the tear and smiles.
"What do you think of the picture, Anon?" Twilight asks.
"It's perfect. You know, I didn't have many friends growing up. I only had three friends who I considered family. One of them had a kid at a young age, and it was a part of that family just as much as everyone else. After we went our separate ways when we graduated high school, I thought I would never have that kind of family again. I thought I had been most inconvenienced when I got dropped here, but then I realized I have friends I can call family. Thank you for this photo. It just shows how good my life here really is."
"Your welcome, Anon. Just so you know, if you need anything, let us know. We've got your back," Rainbow Dash replies.
"I will."
Anon is silent until he squats down in front of Spike. He removes his hat and sets it backward on Spike's head.
"Hold on to that until I come back, will you," Anon says as he stands up.
"Gotcha," Spike replies. Anon and Spike give each other a knuckle bump.
"All aboard!" the conductor yells.
"Well, that's our cue. See you guys later," Anon announces.
"Goodbye, Anon!" the Mane 6 shouted.
Anon and Tempest turn towards the train and walk into the passenger car.
The car is spacious, and very few ponies are on the train. Only three ponies are in the car. One passenger is asleep, another reads a book, and the last is knitting. Anon and Tempest sit off to themselves in the middle of the car. Anon removes his backpack while Tempest removes her helmet and her sword belt. She sets them neatly next to her. Anon and Tempest sit in seats facing each other. Anon notices that Tempest's mane isn't as long as other mare's. It's cut short, but it makes her look like a soldier.
"Hey, Captain, mind if I ask you a question?" Anon asks as the train begins to move forward.
"Sure," Tempest replies flatly.
"What happened to your horn?"
"An Ursa Minor knocked it off."
"A constellation knocked off your horn?"
"No. Ursa Minor is a bear. It lives in a cave outside Ponyville with its mother, Ursa Major."
"I assume that's where you got your scar, too."
"You would be assuming correctly."
"Were you outcasted because of your horn? From what I've seen, ponies are almost exactly like humans. You were outcasted if you were different in what they don't like."
Tempest narrows her eyes. A familiar coldness fills them. "That's none of your damn business, so I'd prefer you keep your nose out of it."
Well played, Tia, well played, Anon thinks. A pony version of me, hmm? This should be an adventure.
"Let me guess. I didn't want you to tell me about your past because it left wounds that won't heal and scars that won't go away. Therefore, when ponies ask about said past, you clam up, insult them, and tell them it's none of their business. Those more persistent about discovering your painful past, you tend to treat them like a pile of shit to push them away. Creating an emotional barrier, cutting you off from the rest of the ponies around you. Am I right?"
Tempest's facial expression is now one of surprise. "Did you...know that?"
"We are the same, Captain. What I described to you is what I used to do when I first arrived in Equestria."
"Impressive, Anon."
"Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to take a nap," Anon puts his legs on the seat across from him and slips down in his chair.
"Go ahead. I'll wake you when we arrive, if not sooner."
"Sounds good to me," Anon yawns in Canterlot.
Anon closes his eyes. Within a few minutes, he falls asleep.
Anon wakes up to Tempest shaking his leg. Anon's eyes open as Tempest continues shaking his leg.
"Hey, wake up. We're here," Tempest announces.
"Stop shaking my leg, damn it. I'm awake," Anon growls.
Tempest retracts her leg.
Anon stretches and yawns. He can see the train station as the train begins to slow down. Anon is amazed at the grandeur of the station. Its architecture is much more beautiful compared to the one in Ponyville. Then, the conductor walks into the passenger car.
"Pulling into Canterlot Royal Train Station. Prepare to depart," he calls out. The train finally comes to a stop.
Tempest puts on her helmet and sword belt as Anon puts on his backpack. Along with the three other passengers, two walk onto the platform. Tempest leads Anon through the crowded train station and onto the street. Then, they begin walking toward the castle. While Tempest is more focused on getting to the castle, Anon is more interested in the beauty of Canterlot. Even the smallest of shops are beautiful.
"Woah, this place looks amazing. It looks way better in person," Anon says.
"Once you live here long enough, you get used to it, but you do have a point," Tempest replies.
They continue walking through Canterlot as the street becomes more crowded. Anon notices that the ponies aren't dressed as he expected. Most of them look the same as the ones in Ponyville. Very few look like what Anon would call "wealthy."
As for the ponies themselves, they look at Anon with confusion, primarily because they haven't seen his species before. Anon notices this but gives them the benefit of the doubt. Others whisper about Captain Tempest. Many remember the day she arrived in Canterlot as Commander Tempest, the right-hoof mare of the dreaded Storm King. Tempest hears these whispers. She ignores them, but it isn't straightforward. All she wants to do is forget about her past, but the ponies won't let her live it down.
"I must say, the ponies here are different than I expected," Anon announces as the two begin crossing a large bridge with a river running underneath it.
"How so?" Tempest asks.
"I expected most of the ponies in Canterlot to be rich assholes."
"Canterlot is arranged differently. The closer you get to the castle, the higher the cost of living. The noble ponies set it up that way. An underhoofed way of getting closer to the princesses as if they were a goddess."
"Let me guess: once we cross the bridge, we'll be in rich pony territory."
"Yes, so keep your insults to yourself. Some of them influence the government."
"I'll try."
Anon and Tempest continue walking. Now Anon sees what Tempest is talking about. Ponies on this side of the bridge are wealthy. Stallions are wearing expensive suits. Some of the stallions wear a monocle or a top hat. Mares wear dresses as Princess Celestia would wear at a gala. Anon sees a couple of mares wearing sashes and or satin hats. Then, Anon hears crueler whispers than he expected, but they aren't even aimed at him. They're aimed at Tempest. Words like "traitorous whore" or "traitor" are thrown around. This somewhat concerns Anon.
"Uh...Captian. Why are they calling you a traitor?" Anon asks.
"I don't want to talk about it," Tempest snaps.
"Fair enough, but shouldn't you be slightly concerned that they're treating you with blatant disrespect."
"No, I'm not. Neither should you."
Fuck, was I like this? How did Twilight put up with my shit? Anon thinks to himself.
Finally, Tempest and Anon arrive at the front gates of the castle grounds. A large wall surrounds the grounds. Two Royal Guards, an earth pony, and a unicorn stand at attention in front of the gate. Each one clutches a spear in their left hoof and has a sword belt strapped to their left side. Their gold-colored armor sparkles in the sunlight. They stare straight ahead even as Tempest approaches them.
"Captain," the guards say as they salute.
Tempest salutes back. "Gentleponies, open the gates. I must report to Princess Celestia immediately."
"And what of this...thing?" The unicorn guard asks. He leans his spear forward, motioning towards Anon.
"This is Anonymous. He is an honored guest of the Princesses and an employee of the Canterlot Castle staff. He can come and go as he pleases. This comes from the Princesses themselves."
"Yes, ma'am," the guards say.
The unicorn Royal Guard's horn lights up and opens the gates. Tempest and Anon walk through the entrance of the castle grounds and into a courtyard. Various flowers, bushes, and trees grow in the courtyard. White-plumed Solar Guards stand at attention at specific points around the courtyard. Tempest and Anon walk down a cobblestone path to the castle's entrance. Two Solar Guards stand at the door. Like the Royal Guards, they salute as Tempest and Anon approach them. The guards give Anon strange looks but relax when Tempest gives them an assuring nod. One of the guards, a jet-black unicorn, uses her magic to open the large doors.
Anon is shocked at the grandeur of the main foyer of Canterlot Castle. He stands in the doorway for a moment to take in its beauty. Tempest has to tap Anon a few times to get him to move again. They walk up some stairs and begin walking down a highly long hallway. Every few feet stands an armored and fully-armed Solar Guard. Each one salutes as Tempest walks by. However, the lack of Royal Guards confuses Anon.
"Hey, where are the Royal Guards?" he asks.
"They guard the more important places in the castle. Places like the throne room, the princesses' chambers, etc."
"Anything related to the princesses."
"Usually, they guard our embassies in other countries or important government buildings in Canterlot. They also patrol the city and its surrounding areas."
"It makes sense to have Royal Guards posted at those places. I'm surprised that I haven't seen any Lunar Guards."
"Considering that they are the night guard, they are probably asleep. You might see a few Lunar Guard officers here and there."
Tempest and Anon spend the next fifteen minutes walking through the endless hallways and climbing stairs. Every once in a while, Anon will stop and look at something that interests him.
Finally, they reach Anon's new bedroom. Tempest gives Anon his room key and then walks inside.
The room is large. There is a window about the size of a door, and a large desk sits underneath the window. There is also a king-size bed with the most excellent sheets and blanket Anon has ever seen. A nightstand with a lamp sits next to the bed. There is also a chest of drawers near the door. Anon sets his backpack next to the door and walks to the window. The view is fantastic. Anon can even see Ponyville.
Then, Anon walks into the bathroom. The bathroom has a white marble floor and a marble sink. The shower is large enough for two full-sized alicorns to stand inside. A shower mat with Princess Celestia's cutie mark lays in front of the shower. The bathroom has the basic toiletries that Anon needs. Anon walks out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom.
"I'll let you get settled. I must inform Princess Celestia of your safe arrival," Tempest announced. "A Royal Guard will escort you to the Royal Dining Hall around five o'clock."
"I need an escort for that?" Anon asks.
"Princess Celestia thought it would be wise."
"Of course," Anon grumbled. "Well, see you later, Captain."
"Goodbye, Anonymous."
Tempest turns and uses her magic to close the door. Anon walks over to his bed, puts Rarity's blanket on top, and lays on the bed. The bed is fluffy, as well as the pillow. He lays on the bed for a few minutes until he unpacks. Anon removes his clothes from his backpack and puts them into the chest of drawers. He finishes unpacking in ten minutes. Then, Anon pulls out a book from his bag that Twilight lets him have. For the next few hours, Anon reads his book.
At five o'clock sharp, Anon hears a knock on the door. He gets up off his bed and opens the door. An orange pegasus Royal Guard stands at the door. The guard looks much younger than the other guards Anon has seen. Anon can see two stripes on the shoulder plates, signifying the guard's rank as a corporal.
"I'm assuming you are my escort?" Anon asks.
"Yes, I am," the guard responds.
"What's your name?"
"I am Corporal Flash Sentry of the Royal Guard."
"A pleasure. I am Anonymous, but you can call me Anon."
Anon squats down and shakes Flash's hoof.
"It's very nice to meet you, Anon. Now that pleasantries are out of the way, follow me to the Royal Dining Hall."
Anon locks up his room and follows Flash down the hallway.
"You know, Corporal, you don't have to be too professional with me. Unless Princess Celestia has told you differently."
"She hasn't. Princess Celestia told me you might ask if I could be less professional with you," Flash replies.
"Of course she did," Anon mutters. However, a smile creeps up on Anon's face.
Flash leads Anon down the hallway. Every once in a while, they would cross paths with an officer. Flash would snap to attention and salute the officer. The officer would give Flash a salute back and keep walking, and Anon and Flash would continue down the hallway.
Within ten minutes, the two arrived at the Royal Dining Hall. The doors are much like the doors at the castle entrance.
Two Royal Guards stand at the large door. Anon doesn't see any rank insignia on their shoulder plates, so he assumes the guards are privates.
"Privates Bush and Petal, open the doors," Flash ordered.
"Oh, come on, Flash. You get promoted to Corporal and think you are a General of the EAF," Private Thorn Bush says.
"Yeah, she's right," Private Rose Petal adds.
"Just open the door," Flash groans.
"Don't get your mane in a twist," Thorn said. She nods at Rose, and they open the doors. Flash and Anon enter the dining hall.
The Royal Dining Hall isn't what Anon expected. A long granite table is in the middle of the room. Five wooden chairs with eloquently designed cushions are set evenly around the table. Six large stained glass windows are on each side of the room. On the table are expensive plates and silverware. What surprised Anon is instead of seeing two alicorns, he saw three. The third alicorn is pink, almost taller than Luna but skinny. It is Princess Cadence.
The princesses look towards Anon and Flash Sentry as the doors close. Flash promptly bows as Anon stands there.
"Anon, now," Flash ordered quietly.
"It's okay, Flash. We know each other," Anon replies. "Well, except for the other one."
"Treating the princesses with respect is still a good idea."
"I'm only treating them the way I want to be treated." Flash shakes his head and remains bowed.
Princess Celestia walks over to Flash Sentry and Anon. Anon gives a small wave.
"Your Highness, I apologize for Mr. Anonymous's lack of respect. I'm not sure if he is-"
"It's quite alright, Corporal Sentry. Anonymous and I are good friends," Celestia interrupts. She motions for Flash to stand up, and he follows suit. "Welcome to Canterlot, Anon. I hope your train ride was wonderful."
"Eh...it was okay, I guess. I was asleep the entire time," Anon answers.
"It's a shame you didn't see the view."
"I saw the view from my bedroom, which was amazing."
Anon leans to his right to the side and looks at Princess Cadence, who is poking awkwardly at the floor.
"And who is that exactly?" Anon asks.
"Oh, my. Where are my manners? Anon, this is my royal niece, Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire," Princess Celestia says. Cadence approaches Anon as Celestia introduces her.
Anon extends his hand. "A pleasure to meet you."
Cadence sets her hoof in Anon's hand. "Likewise."
Anon shakes her hoof and releases it. Then, he turns his attention to Luna, who is standing nearby. "Luna. How's my favorite moon goddess?"
"Quite well, friend Anonymous."
"Now that introductions are out of the way let's sit down for dinner. I'm sure you are hungry, Anon," Celestia announces.
"Oh, hell yeah. I forgot to buy snacks before I left, so hungry is an understatement."
"Corporal Sentry, you are welcome to eat with us if you'd like. I've already spoken with Lieutenant Blade. He was fine with it."
"I would like that. Thank you, Princess."
All five sit in the chairs surrounding the table. Princess Celestia sits at the head. Luna and Cadence sit on Celestia's left, while Flash and Anon sit on her right. Princess Celestia ignites her horn and sends a summoning spell. Within moments, a sharply dressed stallion walks into the dining hall through a door that leads to the kitchen. The stallion walks over to the group. He carries a clipboard on his hoof. When he reaches the table, the stallion gives a slight bow.
"Good evening, Princesses, Guard, and..." The waiter trails off as he looks at Anon. Anon can hear the solid English accent in the server's voice. "Uh...green ape...thing."
Anon pinches the bridge of his nose. "Jesus, it's Ponyville all over again."
"Sorry, Mr. Chef. I forgot to mention that we would have a guest of another species," Princess Celestia apologizes.
"Think nothing of it, Your Highness," the waiter replies. "Now, tonight's appetizer will be a garden salad or a bowl of soup and a drink."
"That's an appetizer?" Anon asks quietly as he leans over to Flash.
"I guess. Soup is usually a meal for us guard ponies. Aside from breakfast, of course," Flash answers as the waiter takes Princess Celestia's order.
When the waiter gets to Anon, Anon orders broccoli and cheddar soup, and bourbon. Flash orders a salad with ranch dressing and water to drink. When the waiter finishes taking orders, he returns to the kitchen. Anon and Celestia begin to catch up while Cadence watches Anon.
To Cadence, Anon seems like a well-mannered and polite creature, aside from frequently using swear words. What catches her attention is that he speaks to Luna and Celestia as if they're average citizens, not semi-immortal goddesses. He even cracks a joke about Luna, which gets a chuckle out of her. Nopony would dare do that to Luna for fear of being sent to the dungeons or worse.
After the waiter brings out the appetizers, the dining hall is quiet as everyone begins to eat. However, Cadence uses this opportunity to speak to Anon.
"So, Anon. How do you like it here in Equestria?" Cadence asks.
Dang it. Why in Equestria did I ask such a crappy question? Cadence thinks to herself.
Anon takes a drink of his bourbon. "It's been...interesting."
"Interesting in the sense of...?"
"In the sense of a learning experience. For starters, finding out that this world is full of talking, pastel-colored ponies, and other creatures associated with myths from my world. The minotaurs, for example."
"That's fair. I'm sure Twilight enjoyed learning from you."
"You have no idea."
"Was it hard to transition from your world to this one?"
Anon sighs. "Yes and no. When I first got here, I had to start from Square One. Shit, for a while, I lived at a makeshift campsite that I built from scratch. Eventually, I could buy a rundown house on the edge of Ponyville that I repaired. Getting a job wasn't hard since almost everyone in Ponyville needed something fixed or shored up. Strangely enough, all of that was the easy part. Creating friendships wasn't exactly my niche. Most of the time, I was in self-imposed isolation. Twilight tried 'helping' me with my 'friendship problem' by shoving ponies down my fucking throat. However, she learned I could make friends independently, and she was hindering me by forcing ponies down my throat to be my friend. In the long run, I made friends that will last a while."
Cadence asks one final question that throws Anon completely off-guard. "Do you have a marefriend yet?"
Anon was taking a sip of bourbon when Cadence asked him that question. He almost chokes on the whiskey. Princess Celestia leans her head in as if interested in Anon's response.
"No," Anon answers flatly. "Why?"
"Just curious."
"If you're submitting an application, I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly into interspecies relationships."
Flash begins to laugh extremely hard along with Princess Luna. Princess Cadence blushes a deep shade of red. As for Princess Celestia, she facehoofs and shakes her head. Anon is confused by the commotion.
"What the fuck is so funny?" he asks.
"You do...realize that Cadence...has a husband, correct?" Princess Luna says in between laughs.
Anon opens his mouth to say something, but he stops himself. He thinks back to his conversation with Hard Cider the night of the bar fight. The part of the conversation where Hard Cider mentioned Shining Armor's relationship with Princess Cadence doesn't come as quickly as Anon would've hoped.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," Anon says innocently.
"How could you forget the Princess of the Crystal Empire was married?" Flash asks, still recovering from laughing.
"I was in a coma for three weeks. I should be allowed some understanding here."
Cadence raises both of her eyebrows in surprise. "How did you end in a coma?"
Anon pulls up the right side of his shirt to reveal the scar. The memories of that fateful night flood into Anon's mind. The many punches he took and gave, Gail backhanding Hard Cider, and the white-hot pain of getting stabbed. Then, Anon provides a short synopsis of what happened that night—Cadence twinges when Anon describes the gruesome death of the griffon he killed. Anon lets down his shirt when he finishes his story and takes a big swig of his bourbon.
Just as the tension in the room begins to thicken, the waiter walks back into the dining hall to take orders for the main course. As usual, the waiter starts with Princess Celestia. The waiter nods as he finishes writing down Princess Celestia's order. Soon, everyone's order has been taken, and the waiter returns to the kitchen. Then, he returns with another bottle of bourbon that Anon had requested.
The rest of the meal played out without any more emotional episodes. The princesses primarily talk about things going on in their lives and whatnot. Anon either listens to the princesses or Flash talks. In fact, for the rest of the meal, Anon doesn't say much.
Eventually, the meal ends with dessert, an angel food cake with strawberry frosting. The princesses talk some more until Luna decides to start her nightly duties. Anon takes this opportunity to leave as well. He bids everyone good night and leaves the dining hall with Flash Sentry in tow.
"Hey, Flash. I memorized the way back to my room, so you can go ahead and hit the sack if you want since it's almost nine," Anon says.
"Are you sure? I don't want you to get lost," Flash responds.
"I'm good."
Flash Sentry trots down the hallway as Anon slowly returns to his room.
Anon notices the Solar Guards have been replaced by their nightly counterparts. The Lunar Guard looks similar to the Solar Guard armor, minus the plumes being a completely different shape and the armor being dark blue. The only thing the same as the Solar Guards is their weapons.
Soon Anon comes across the hallway that leads to his room. There are no guards, which leaves Anon alone. Well, not entirely. As he walks down the hallway, the eerie feeling of being watched comes across him. The surface begins to creep Anon out. The empty hallway and the moon casting shadows don't make Anon feel any better. He even hears the fluttering of wings and a few whispers. Finally, he turns around and looks at the darkness behind him.
"I know you are following me!" he shouts.
"Damn it. I told you he'd hear you flying," A raspy female voice says.
"Oh, piss off. Like you could have been any quieter," a male voice responds.
"Both of you, shut up. The jig is up," another female voice says.
Out of the shadows, three thestrals walk towards Anon. At first, the only thing that Anon could see were glowing, yellow eyes with slit-like pupils. The armor of the thestral significantly differs from the rest of the Lunar Guard. It looks sleeker and more aerodynamic. Instead of a plume, there is a verticle crest that looks like the dorsal fin of a fish. They carry swords like the other guards but with a different hilt. All three thestrals have furry, pointed ears, much like a bat's. Their tails look rigid compared to other ponies. The thestrals have fleshy wings rather than feathers—the thestral looks like an officer because her helmet crest is pale blue rather than purple.
"You want to explain why you were following me?" Anon asks as he looks down at the approaching thestrals.
"Princess Luna assigned us to watch over you during the night," one of the pegasus thestrals announces.
"Uh-huh," Anon says. "And who are you exactly?"
One thestral steps forward. "I'm Captain Midnight Blossom of the Lunar Guard."
One of the thestrals, the mare with a raspy voice, steps to stand beside Blossom. "I am Sergeant Major Lavender Petal."
Lastly, the male thestrals stand on the other side of Blossom. "I am Sergeant Moon Shadow."
"Why did you need to be sneaky about watching over me?"
"We were loosely following you," Lavender replies.
"Seriously?"
The thestrals nod their heads.
"You do realize that following me like that is a bit strange? You could have told me you were assigned to be my night guards," Anon days.
"If that is something you prefer, Mr. Anonymous, then we will comply," Blossom replies.
"You don't have to do that bowing down shit. I'm no king, much less an officer. I'm just the new handyman."
"So we can forget being stealthy?" Moon Shadow asks.
Blossom nods her head. The thestrals sigh a sigh of relief.
"One more thing, don't call me Mr. Anonymous. Anonymous or Anon will do fine," Anon announces.
"Will do, Anon," Blossom says.
The thestrals follow Anon back to his room in silence. They only spoke when Lavender Petal noticed Anon's KA-BAR knife. Anon removes it from its leather sheath and shows the knife to them. They are interested in the knife. Moon Shadow practically drools all over the knife. Once they arrive at Anon's room, the thestrals stand at his door as he enters the room.
Anon closes his door and turns on the light. He gathers his sleeping shorts and underwear; then walks into the bathroom.
Anon takes a shower while contemplating today's events as he usually does. He reflects the most on his time with Captain Tempest Shadow. Anon can tell that Tempest's past trauma turned her into the bitter soldier she is today. If Anon is honest with himself, he doesn't blame Tempest for being hostile when he asks her about her past. After some self-evaluation, he concludes that painful memories surface and cause people to lash out to force the memories back into the deepest parts of their minds.
Soon, Anon ends his contemplation and turns off the hot water. He dries off his body and puts on the sleeping shorts. Anon turned off the overhead and wrote in his journal with only the lamplight to light up the journal. Anon writes until his eyelids grow heavy. He lays his journal and pencil on his nightstand. Within a few minutes, he falls asleep.
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Well, theres some equestrian racism for ya.
Should that be "Stop shaking my leg?"
Give him a month in canterlot with celestia, tops
Interesting to see he still has some drawbacks from the bar fight. Then again, things like that tend to leave an imprint on people involved. Great chapter, man!
10921856
Fixed the error. Thanks for pointing that out.
10921859
No prob! And congrats on the 70 likes!
dam this is pretty good so far keep it up bud
Keep up the good work
So far so good, I'm really enjoying reading this. Can't wait to see what happens next. My mind keeps going to what will happen if he ever meets Blueballs
Captain
Nice 👏
Anon got her good...
Ouch Celestia might walk on Eggshells until she feel save confessing her feelings...
Aaaawww damn it. Playing the waiting game once more... Great read, looking forward to the next chapter update
Thanks again IWA for another amazing chapter. I didn't expect to see the surprise appearance of Tempest in this chapter but her arrival and dialog with Anon was a pleasure to read about. Overall great dialog and plot progression this chapter and I'm excited to see how Anon's and Celestia's relationship develops in his story. Good luck with your next chapter and as always have fun writing. CHEERS!
would anyone like some beans
Why does Anon Cider sound like an actual name?
There were a couple of spelling mistakes and words missing through this chapter. Other than that, I am loving this fic with it's direction on the whole Anon human character.
I was wondering how Midnight Blossom sounded familiar.
Great chapter, poor Celestia didn't exactly get a confidence boost.
Love the casual air between the royals and Anon.