Comments ( 350 )

hmm good story so far pls continue. this story is well thought out

ah! I saw this story in QQ but I prefer to read it on this site.

This should be interesting

I love this story so much promise and the idea of harmony is amazing keep it up

Great chapter! Although Pinkie didn't appear ...
Will the MC use Eltharin? I love elven runes and their meanings, there are some that can have interesting effects on MLP like Yen'Lui (Balance, Harmony, Chaos)

As they both stood there, they could not help but wonder what the next game would be.

So do harmony and discord have a relationship or something

This chapter seemed a bit rush and haphazard. You might need to rewrite it in the future.

his is a good story i look forwort every day to read the neu chap keep it up :

This Filth reminded me of the darkness Sombra got his power from. Does that mean Changelings might be a form of corrupted ponies?

"Agility amped itself up at the last second for some reason." I quickly took his armor and found the reason one of the runes that controlled the speed boost was damaged by an attack. "Need to put runes in a safer place."

There is an idea from a manga called "Tensei Shitara dai Nana Ouji dattanode, Kimamani Majutsu o Kiwamemasu". In chapter#17, they are forging an enchantment sword by putting a rune into the metal during the forging. This way, they don't have to write it afterward and eliminate the risk of having it easily removed.

i like storys where magic or advanced tec + food goes badly

Onyx smiled as he slowly cleaned up the table and dishes before looking at the trash can, and it looked like a wave of miasma tried to attack him. "Definitely not letting her know I tried to use magic for cooking."

Hey Twilight, I found another pony who can cook the way you do! :moustache:
I am not that bad Spike! I can cook just fine! :twilightangry2:
Need me to remind you who spent 3 hours cleaning your last attempt? :moustache:

nice capter i was wondering what happent to the real onyx and his family

10704225
Hell, that's not "a bit". That's "a lot".


That's like going through a crash course on something. You get the main idea, but everything just jumbled together into indistinguishable pile and you have no idea are there any fine details in the first place. That last moment when harmony thought to upgrade him into alicorn just because he destined for success because reasons was extra jarring and completely unnecessary. For the love of Celestia give character at least some depth before promoting him to alicornhood if you decided to start as non-alicorn. Hinting this in the first chapter is just ridiculous.

'This Pinkie better be a good fit for Onyx. I know it will hurt, but if she is not a good fit.'

Can't wait for Pie-Cobalt family meeting.

"I am telling you straight to your face that you will be alright. I am telling you the whole honest truth." Applejack spoke, trying to convince me. "Let go, you will be safe, I promise."

Every time I read in various fics about this moment in the show I can only think how incredibly idiotically stupid it is. No, seriously, could she just tell her that Rainbow and Flutters will catch her? That's they are right behind her?

I had to deal with Rarity and Applejack having a spat about Cleanness and messiness.

I thought you are not one to concern yourself about those things. :unsuresweetie:

Why does it say posted on the 5th for this chapter?

this is really good read all the chapters so far in one day😃

10713959
She doesn't care much about that, but she had to be there and tolerate the shit out of 'em both. It's not fun to sit and listen to two of your friends having a "fight". Especially considering Rares could be incredibly annoying to listen to in her whiny mode. Especially when you are an element of laughter out of all things. And she likely realized that butting in in attempt to stop it might actually make it worse.

the episode of Zekora the Zebra

Did you just change Zecora's name to Japanese?

and that is how the anual naked day started kids

"I can see that, but this food is for Princess Celestia." Twilight let out, panicked.

Not for long.

Onyx looked at the twitching parasprite on the ground. Onyx leaned his head down to the twitching locust and said in a mocking tone of voice. "Try to eat my house, will you? Watch how I turn you into a puffball and eat you."

I think turn them into a gumball might be a better choice of action. They already come in colors after all.

Many revelations in this chapter alone. But making the original Onyx as a potential antagonist was not pushing it too much? I mean I don't see any tall tail sign of the original Onyx as a bad pony.

10718271
there is likely a reason celestia needs the rune books and if the original onyx can make one without writing it down then that could be hinting that in the future celestia herself could be an enemy or her security will be breached and the books and his language stolen.
an alternative is that the original will eventualy fuse with him fully and the other language will be able to be used in a pinch.
also if the orignal onyx can make a language without writing it down does that mean the books arnt completly for stabilisation and could have another function that others arnt told about?

Never thought about it before, but this is the first story i have read where discord is active in the role of trying to save the world before ever getting reformed.
I love how you are putting this story together and not rushing to ascend Onyx like some stories would to reach that alicorn power level. And i appreciate that you are taking your time with it. Another great chapter and another step towards his destiny, despite each step being more and more of a struggle for the character to make. Keep it up, this is going fantastically

Interesting idea and power structure for the d-dogs.

A good chapter! I like it!

10723530
Yeah, it is. And it is nice to see that they are not just being referred to just as savages.

10723563
Yeah I also never liked stories were they were just seen as savages just because they were shown like that one time.

10723576
I know! I wish the show had shown another side to them so people didnt just assume they were typical "evil beast creature kidnaps pretty pony"

10723597
I know maybe they could even have given the d-dogs there own kingdom/culture or something, or even different d-dog types, like miners, guards, hunters, trackers etc. it could have been an fantastic episode about not judging a group by just one bad experience with a small portion of the group.

10723614
Yeah! Even if it was just a one off, like rarity going back to the d-dogs to see how they are doing, something simple like that could have revealed so much about a culture the show didn't show. So much potential lost

10723632
Yes so much potential was lost, altho do to that I always had the a bit of an idea that they were a bit like dwarfs if they had a culture and city's (amazing builders and smiths). Or that there were different species like I said before. Maybe even wolf types and other types than just d-dogs. Maybe even making the gems they mine into magical items or items to cast magic with.

10723666
Okay now i just have the picture of vast underground cities with d-dogs singing diggy diggy hole while mining for gold. And as cool as that would be, not what i was expecting to be thinking of today xD

10723757
Now that you say that I can’t stop laughing, also now I have the idea of them being rune user's (different from this story) or gem magic users.

10723770
Huzzah! The fun has been doubled! I think gem users would be more appropriate, would give deeper reasoning to why they wanted gems in the episode. Gems get collected, sent to a larger structure to be formatted, shaped etc and be implimented into general use

10723832
That is one part of my idea the other is something like the lacrima from the fairy tail series.

10723837
Oooh, while i like the idea quite a lot, maybe we shouldnt be filling iron priest's notification box with this conversation xD

Hmm... Diamond Dog 101. The more I read the more this Rune Society sounds like a Monster Hunter rather than blacksmith. I wonder if S.M.I.L.E. exist in this world as well?

10724376
S.M.I.L.E is Equestria’s intelligent service and monster hunter/capture division. In cannon.

10724376
The organization which 'Sweetie Drop' Bon Bon was a member of.

'Oh, just another favor.' Discord waved off her suspicion. 'nothing massive.'

but alot of small things eventualy will add up to a big thing if harmony isnt carefull

Favour time! Yeah! Look forwards to another chapter! I enjoyed this one and, honestly was not expecting a flashback chapter to refer to the episode. Nicely done

Discord looked at the statue of his lower self in thought, 'I do not have a big enough favor yet to get you out, but I am working on it.'

Now read this a bit more out of context. :ajsmug:

Quick they herding! Apply the cliwn disguise and hide in the sewers!

I just started a new job so I might miss some days uploads but I will try to keep my one update a time

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