• Member Since 11th Feb, 2021
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Rukatya


I'm someone who's a fan of the cmc's and loves making and reading stories

E

The cutie mark crusaders want to make friend with this colt but will they or will they loose some friends in the process? Will they be accepted into the school of friendship?
Update: Cutie mark crusaders have their cutie marks-Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are still bullies -the School of friendship has begun.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 7 )

Cutie mark crusaders have their cutie marks-
-the School of friendship has begun.

Then why are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are still bullies?

10690636
My sister forced me to think of why
so i just did because they were rich and because the CMC's weren't and because
1.Scootaloo can't fly
2.Everypony can sing so Sweetie Belle's talent doesn't matter
3.Apple Bloom is a nerd
/they are just jealous that the CMC's are so cool :rainbowdetermined2:

Intriguing AU. I do have some constructive criticism, but I'll start with the positive since there's a lot of it. I love a friendship fic that explorers the Crusaders' relationships with the other kids, and you do a good job with characterizing excitable, friendly filly banter. I like how you aren't afraid to go in the Alternate Universe direction (there's a whole genre about it, but be prepared to think about what other things may change because of these differences-though, don't be shy!)

Applejack is spelled with no space and all lower cases.

"Math, science, geography, and you've even got top grades for MAJIC and your not even a unicorn!"

Again, it's always refreshing to see an earth pony/pegasus get nerdy over magic. It may be just the way Scootaloo is talking, but you may have yourself a pretty big typo.

they all laughed and headed to Sweet Apple acres for dinner as Luna raised her moon.

Oooooh, I like that. That's a really pretty, calm tone to end things on.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Twilight came in right then to see her precious library blown up! (:twilightangry2:)

The emote is funny, though generally not used for narrative purposes.

This is not the only typo I found, it may seem like a little deal, and I see from your notes you already got spell-check. But there are little things. I would recommend using Grammarly to help you catch the little things like of/off and missing commas, since it does those little bits for free. Because even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, the time it takes to polish all these little errors is nothing compared to how much your readers will appreciate it.

Cheers!

10690701
Thanks
I love to hear how I can improve with my grammar and spelling
The emote I put before I finished writing that so I wouldn't forget what happened (I do this a lot) I think I forgot to get rid of it.
Sorry.:twilightsmile:

Nice first chapter, I like the dynamic already, and I look forward to read upcoming chapters. :twilightsmile:

That's it Button Mash! You show them! Go Button! Go Button! Go go go Button! :pinkiehappy:

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