• Member Since 8th Dec, 2020
  • offline last seen 12 minutes ago

Retro Animation

artist, animator, writer, reader, and giraffe lover. Welcome to the profile


A short story with crazy dog horse and Noteworthy.
Breaking out of the hospital wasn't easy, but who says it wasn't worth it?
Screwloose ran away from the doctors, bumping into the noteworthy, a helpful pony who remembers everything.
She needs him to help her remember why she was in the hospital.
Let's just say, Noteworthy and Screwloose play a game of Blue's Clues.

made for May 2021 Pairing contest, I had fun doing this one

(also there isn't any tag for Screwloose, the barking pony so I used other)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 2 )

First of all, I suggest you either put two line breaks(the enter button) between your paragraphs or add a space to the beginning of each one. You do this for most of the story, but there are several spots where you seem to have forgot.

Next, you forgot some capital letters:

"The helpful pony? needing help?"
"Dr. Greymare, Doc Top, Nurse snowheart?"

Then you have an extra capital:

But They've already left to find the next clue.

Work on improving your grammar. I know it can be hard. It took me years to get where I am and only a week ago I learned another problem I had. But it is certainly worth it if you enjoy writing. Never give up, always strive to improve, and best of luck to you.

If I'd taken more time to actually write (I made this in 1 day) It could've been better, I was busy doing school things
but I'll try my best

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