No monologue, no classic villain speech. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved he wasn’t going for clichés or not since he was directly putting me in an awkward situation with his no-nonsense attitude about the matter.

Genre-savvy, non-overconfident Sombra is best Sombra.

what route will this story go? will the elements call him evil and fun happns or will something else happen?

10670938

Why would they call them "evil"? It makes No Sense, because he took out the Real Villain in the Crystal Empire.

10670945
all the elements would see is the empire is apparently free and ruled by an unknown creature and due to this it could lead to the elements not reacting well. who knows i could be wrong and it could turn out they are fine and freindly but due to the zecora episode in the show i dont think ponies in genrel react well to unknowns

Interesting that JB is posting fics here too. Wonder if he will post his alicorn fic here too.

10670987
The MC will not put himself in the situation of being labeled a monster. Plans are being set up and... this world's map is pretty big. Only thing I can say is that my interest has been recently reignited by playing a lot of Equestria At War mod for Hearts of Iron IV.

10671065
I need an elaboration on this point, Alicorn fanfic?

Too bad he isn't turned into a pony it would certainly retain my attention, Still, it could be fun to read.

If you ever looking to commission a cover art let me know, and here is my youtube channel if you want to see some of my stuff.

10671442
Will keep that in mind, thank you for the kind words!

10671339
Oh arse. Sorry, got my fic authors mixed up. Ooops

My only suggestion is that you went a bit fast, if you like you could take the time to explain the sequence of events to fill some of the gaps, like how did he dodge guards from the alley all the way to the castle specially with the big open in the center. How did he took care of the smell he no dough had because he dive into garbage, and maybe some details on how he manage to maneuver his way to the top of the castle when the only staircase there was outside and to reach the entrance one need to go to the basement first. Did he parkour toward it from a window or something?

Basically you don't need to put in detail every single step John took but let things flow a bit more naturally and not rush things.

P.S: Am I to assume he reach Equestria 1000 years before the show and before Nightmare Moon? Because if my math is correct Discord should had been imprison like 2 or 3 years ago by my estimate

10671585
I usually take more time writing stuff. In fact, I believe next chapter will reach 4k if not beyond. I just wanted to lay out the intro since, as I said, it's my first experiment about a MLP fanfic.

About Discord: While he is indeed 'unavailable' for a few early seasons, that doesn't exactly exclude him from making pre-banishment plans and setting up long-term plans to screw with Canon. Either before or... after this specific time.

About the timeline: in a few months MC is getting a diplomatic envoy as the Empire is brought out of its state of banishment. Things sure are set to still get insane despite the lack of dangerous misunderstanding. Tactical Hugs might be involved.

10671740
Hugs or suggestions of possible merging by marriage? Either case, something tells me some rulers might bring him a 'welcome to the ruler world gift baskets'

Good

The title immediately made me think of "Hail to the King". Hopefully this won't share the same fate.

Ah! Run for your lives he has thumbs! 😱

I owe you a favor for this funny idea,

D.

Who the heck is ‘D’?!

Discord.

This was the Crystal Empire. From the lack of the light barrier that protected it from Sombra and the cold… I woke up before the bastard had been vanquished. This was far from idyllic and… I needed to move. Because, as the realization struck me and kept me in a single place, a small group of three armored ponies with green scleras began to approach me. Their pace was slow, unsure- this wasn’t something they were prepared to handle and… that gave me an opportunity.

So whoever this guy is, he knows about the show and has seen at least until the Season 3 opener.

2) Be bold, recover the Crystal Heart where Sombra had kept it hidden and… kill the bastard myself;

Good fucking luck.

Five minutes of quickly running around the place and going through a couple staircases ended with me finally seeing my current target floating in the middle of… a circle I couldn’t pass without getting captured in the process. A trap that I was only aware about by a few clips I have seen when I was younger.

OK, so not THAT familiar.

I got the Heart Crystal, there was no second trap activating and…

Crystal Heart.

Here he was, ‘floating’ in a dark cloud of hatred, despair and… he was charging up another attack again.

Ah nuts.

It was all planned. I swear- I’m smart!

OK, I believe you.

No real explosion, just Sombra… imploding onto himself. With his real body shattered, his dark and cloudy form was sent soaring well away from the borders of the city, and… I was left alone with a still active Crystal Heart in my hands.

... Well then.

“You… You slain the king?”

Basically.

“A new king! King John,” The other added excitedly and I tensed up even more.

That name's vaguely amusing to be considering the John I associate the name with is Prince John from Disney's Robin Hood. THIS John is considerably smarter.

P.S. Yes, this is the first time I write about FIMfiction and about MLP in general.

Welcome to writing about this show, and I hope you enjoy your time working on this story then. Also, I've seen your profile picture before. Are you the guy that wrote the Jojo's story Absolute Divinity?

10670928
Fuck yeah he is

10675257
Yep, same author. Also, it's still ongoing. Arc 2!!

10675769

I've been reading it, yes. My mistake. But, glad to see you here regardless. Hope you enjoy writing this story.

This is frankly the wierdest thing I've ever seen. Spelling? Good.

Grammar? -7/10 shoot me please.

They didn’t seem keen to check if there was something off about the halls, like sudden noise of my steps or the

The sentence is missing a few words at the end.

Other than that, it is good to see you here as well, dear sir. This said, I do have a question ... .

Do you happen to like cheese by chance? Inquiring minds wish to know! :P

Fan-joke out of the way, here is another author who I think you'd enjoy reading his works from:

[Adult story embed hidden]

I'll still be watching this take on the subject though.

The biggest beef I have with this story so far is the insane use of ellipses. From an outside observer's perspective, it appears that your writing is so short because you're using ellipses constantly instead of either hard stopping your previous sentence with a period and starting a new sentence, or extending your previous sentence with either a colon or an en-dash. Technically the first chapter alone is kind of middle-of-the-road when it comes to length, clocking in at 2,571 words and 13,836 characters. But when you're constantly using an ellipse for no apparent reason, the readers get the "fake" sense of your writing being too short because ellipses are usually used to trail off the end of a sentence. Its really jarring when a sentence seemingly trails off and, instead of starting a new subject for the next sentence, is instead using the same subject for the previous sentence despite the apparent "trailing pause" in the narrator's narration. Just something to keep in mind for the future. I hope I'm not coming across as a dick.

“You… You slain the king?”

*You've
Otherwise, not bad.

10677171
I've read that one a few years ago. It was one of few ones that had me interested in the idea. I just waited a long time before trying my hand at the topic. Still, I will not copy from it, I remember someone actually doing that with a Doflamingo fanfic and I really, really don't like copying other people's work. Still, I can say that I will draw a lot from Equestria at War Lore. I've played that mod way too many times now.

10676848
*Weirdest? I'm glad the weird is strong in this one. Chapter 3 will be fun crazy.
10677199
I've curbed some of the mistakes, removed a good chunk of the ellipses, and added a 400-500 more words to the chapter. I think it's a little better now.

10677901
Oh no, I wasn't implying anything of the pirating sort--though I am happy to see that you're a man of culture and good taste if that fic was a source of inspiration.

Dear Nigel is still my favorite sociopathic supersoldier to date, and his way of dealing with King Somb-rug was quite hilariously dark.

I am a reader of The Tale of Two Kings you got going at spacebattles, and I know we're in for a treat with your treatment of this franchise.

“You… You slain the king?”

You have slain the king.
Or
You slew/slayed the king.

10678744
It's already been fixed with "You- You've slain the king?'. Doesn't it appear that way in others' ends?

> full of thrash

So, Anthrax albums?

> They didn’t seem keen to check if there was something off about the halls, like sudden noise of my steps or the

I sympathize. I wouldn't check out a hallway for an incomplete sentence either.

10679036
Like, in the section missing words I actually had the sentence completed:

"...like sudden noise of my steps or the genuine sight of some shadows flickering caused by my frame being hit by the illumination of the candles. I was silent, careful... and terribly panicking as I knew one wrong step and I was going to perish a ugly death."

But seriously, does it really show the chapters as if they hadn't been edited?

10679078

I saw it exactly as I copied out, the first time. It's fixed now.

Paperwork!

Usually done in tiny cubicles.

I honestly feel like we need at least one Robin Hoid reference in the future just because he is now King John.

One obstacle the premise runs into is how do they force him if he doesn't want to be King? It would require the one who orders them all around and took out Sombra being effectively made a prisoner and slave, as by forcing him to stay and do the job they'd be acting maliciously towards him.

It would also require the protagonist to be a spineless bitch to not object and try to force his way out to find a way home.

See your name on this site has brought me much joy and instant follow

Read This
this might give you more inspiration, while the story is a bit more fucky? no uhm mature? nope uhmmm chaotic at best would be precise to describe it, its still one heck of a good read imho.

good read bruh!

Who the heck is ‘D’?!

...Dzhugashvili? Good old Joe and his practical jokes, amirite.

10746108
What does Papa Stalin have to do with this? I thought his magic tricks were all tied to Gulags, not Isekais. xD

10746117
One day you're just minding your own business, then suddenly you're in the middle of a frozen northern tundra. A classic, that one.

But mostly it's just a joke about your user name.

The fall of a tyrant can happen in one or two ways.

Heart attacks crying in the background

Were the truck

10759344
Ha, that does give me a funny idea for a story..

"Okay, im in a completely different world with humanized model attractive pony people...ive got the powerful ancient treasure...im immune to basic magic...and I've got a power hungry tyrant making crystal swords and firing them at me like gilgamesh! If this is suppose to be an Isekai then where the hell was the truck at?!"

*Suddenly a Fed Ex truck comes flying down nose first, crushing Sombra, before spontaneously exploding, leaving a crystal crater behind.*

"Huh...I really am in an MLP Isekai. ...aw buck."

An economist named Bukharin talking about people's revolutions and heroic coups against a tyrannical monarch? Intriguing, the connotations are endless!
On a more serious note, this story had piqued my interest.

Keep that note John, it's not often the Lord of Chaos grants you a boon...

I knew I recognized you from somewhere. I'm a fan of your Re:Zero fanfic. I'll definitely give this a read too.

The surname Bukharin has nothing to do with the socialist Nikolai Ivanovich Bukharin, does it? Is that so?

10979516
No correlation

Y así comenzó el largo reinado del rey Juan I.

vida eterna al EMPERADOR JOHN!

The ponies eyes widen in realization
Jhon: no
Smiles appear on their faces as they prepare to bow
Jhon:no no no
The ponies bow "your highness
Jhon: no no no no no ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

i can finally read this also i forgot about this until i saw it was updated but i love it so far