• Published 7th Feb 2021
  • 1,963 Views, 50 Comments

Scales and Sweets - SilverEyedWolf

After a couple of dates, Rarity tells Spike it's not going to happen. This is the fall-out.

  • ...

Pinkie's Mail-In Dating Services!

Spike woke up the next morning a lot more gently than he had the one before. No pounding hangover, no strange surroundings.

No unexpected warmth from a body beside him.

That thought stung a little, so he shook it off as he stretched his spine and wings before twisting his torso to relieve the tension in his lower back. Tossing the thin covers over to his left, he slid out of the bed on the right before pulling them back and pretending to tuck them under the mattress.

Having 'made' the bed, he picked up the glass of water on his bedside table and swished it around his mouth before swallowing and making his way to the bathroom.

Walking out of both the bathroom and his room, he made his way down a door on the second floor and knocked lightly.

"Pinkie? You awake?"

He rested the side of his head against the wood and heard a gentle buzzing snore. Screwing up his eyes as he thought, he shook his head when he couldn't remember if Pinkie worked Mondays or not. Walking back to his room and checking the clock, he frowned at the reading of six o'clock.

Walking back, he thumped the door a little harder. "Pinkie, it's Monday morning. You work today?"

Pressing the side of his head against the door again, he sighed when he just heard the snore again. Shaking his head, he pinched the bridge between his eyes as he sightlessly made his way into the kitchen.

He rattled around the kitchen a little, hoping either the noise or maybe the smell of breakfast would wake her as he readied his personal coffee kettle and a frypan.

Getting the coffee going, he pulled out some chopped onions, peppers, and mushrooms he kept in his fridge as well as six eggs and some sharp cheddar cheese. Heating the pan as he mixed half of the eggs, he poured them and mixed up the bottom as it browned before pouring in the veggies and cheese and flipping half of it over. Eyeing the glass bulb on top of the kettle, he moved it off of the fire and onto a square pot-holder.

"Diner-style," came a rough voice from behind him; he was able to keep the jump to only his scales this time though.

"Yeah, I like 'em more than the fancy Prench way," he said, before pulling a mug out of a nearby cabinet and holding it out to her. "Cream's in the fridge, sugar's on the table."

His guest hummed and took the mug before pouring from the kettle and taking her cup to the table.

Pulling a plate from the same cupboard, Spike slid the omelette onto the plate and pulled a fork out of the drawer beneath the counter beneath it. Spinning on his heel he placed both in front of Pinkie, before taking a step over to the fridge and pulling out a small glass bottle, placing the thin red sauce beside her plate.

The last thing he saw was her smile and a nod of her head before he turned back to finish up his own plate.

Mixing up the same omelette, he grabbed his own mug before moving the kettle over to the small table and sitting across from where Pinkie's clean plate sat, smiling as the mare sipped slowly on her coffee.

"Work this morning?" he asked as he reached across the table and took the bottle, splashing a bit of the sauce over the top of his eggs and moving it around with his fork.

He nodded when she shook her head, both of them content with the silence as he polished off his own plate before picking up the four dishes and rinsing them in the sink, leaving them there to be fully cleaned later.

"So," Spike said, turning around and leaning on the thin strip of counter between the sink and the floor. "I've got about twenty minutes before the library opens for the day. Not that I don't appreciate having you around, but I don't think a day cooped up in here's your definition of fun. Anything planned?"

Pinkie drained the rest of her mug before shrugging. "Uhm, I dunno actually. Gotta check my calendar, huh?"

Spike nodded. "Sure. Uh, gonna be real honest here, but I've never had a girl stay over, so I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to send you off." He gave her a tilted grin and a little flick of a wave. "Later?"

Pinkie tried not to snort into her cup. With a roll of her eyes, she snarked, "Wow, more of Twilight in you than I thought there was. Most ponies would say something like, 'Oh, I had so much fun, we should do that again', et cetera et cetera."

Spike's smile warmed a bit and rounded itself into something softer.

"Of course I had a ton of fun Pinkie," he said, shrugging. "You were here after all."

Pinkie didn't bother replying, just lifting her eyebrows and staring at him until his deadpan expression melted into a teasing chuckle.

"Alright, too much," he said, shaking his head. "Sorry. I had a lot of fun last night Pinkie, and I think it would be fun to do it again sometime."

"It's a date," she said quickly, not quite managing to hide her smirk behind her empty coffee cup before he saw it.

"Yeah yeah, har har har," he said, still smirking. "Alright then, have it your way. I guess enjoy the coffee, and just shove the mug in the sink before you head out. I'm going to go unlock the doors and get ready for the day."

"Better," Pinkie said, smiling back, "but still awkward. We're gonna have to have some more of these sleepovers I see," she sighed disappointedly, shaking her head.

"More?" Spike asked, narrowing his eyes at her and tilting his head.

"Mhm," she said with a smile that dipped. "Did you have other plans?"

He frowned. "I don't, but it's sort of unusual for you to be planning that far into the future, at least out loud," he said, tapping the counter he was still leaning against. He gazed at her for a moment before huffing. "Pinkie Pie, are you trying to make a project out of me like you did with Cranky?"

He watched her eyes widen before she caught herself, though her pupils remained dilated like a cat caught in a bag of 'nip.

"Uh-huh," he deadpanned as she opened her muzzle to defend herself.

She bit her bottom lip before sighing and hanging her head. "I'm sorry Spike," she said softly. "I'm just worried about you. I've seen some pretty bad break-ups send somecreature down a really, really lonely path, and I, none of the girls, want to lose you."

He stared at her for a moment before sighing. "Alright then," he said softly. "Wait here a moment, please."

Without waiting for an answer, he turned to the side and walked out of the kitchen door. Taking a breath he walked up to the desk and reached under the counter-top. Pulling out a stack of paper slips and a specifically enchanted quill, he opened the door enough to slip them into a cubbyhole on the front of the library. Closing the door, he left the 'Closed' sign in the window and walked back into the kitchen.

"I've put out the request slips," he told Pinkie, reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a large metal carafe. "Let me fill this thing with coffee, and we can start the talk," he paused and lifted a single, slightly mocking eyebrow with a smile, "Counselor Pinkie."

She had the self-consciousness to blush and give a small smile. "Sir," she said, weakly saluting.

Spike went through the motions of filling the carafe with the rest of the kettle of coffee before making another one and adding it as well. Swirling the liquid around inside, he shrugged before making another kettle and adding it before setting the heavy container in the middle of the table.

"Alright," he said, settling into the same wooden chair he'd used earlier. "So, instead of the," he chuckled, "the literal song and dance, let's talk. You want me to assure you that I won't just retreat into myself and become some sort of social hermit like Starlight, Sunburst, and Moondancer did?" He licked his lips and slowly leaned forward.

"Why not?" he whispered. "Why not just retreat into some domain of my own making, safe from the breakers and the breaking of my heart?"

Pinkie winced but leaned forward to match him. "Because then you would just be the one breaking. Breaking your heart, and the ones around who care about it." She kept his gaze before she smirked a bit. "Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Twilight, Sunset, Big Mac, AJ, Fluttershy, me, Dash, Thorax, Ember, Smolder, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Twilight Velvet, Night Light, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle—"

She took a breath and gave him a weak smirk. "Even Rarity. All of those ponies, all of those friends? You'd be breaking all of their hearts, Spike." She sniffled a little. "All of our hearts."

He kept a steady gaze for a minute, before nodding and giving her the slightest smile. Reaching out and cupping her cheek with a paw, he nodded. "Damn good answer, Pinkie Pie," he whispered, before leaning back in the chair and sighing.

Waving his paw through the air in front of his nose, he snorted. "I never intended to do all that anyway." His lips quirked up. "Don't get me wrong," he said, shaking his head, "thought about it. Thought real hard about it. But all those names you named?" He outright grinned. "They'd kick my flank from here to the Crystal Empire and back, with pit stops at Canterlot, the Badlands, the Dragon Lands, you name it," he snorted, "and they'd kick my flank there.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "No no, I couldn't ever withdraw into myself for any serious length of time. Did hope," he said with a small smile, "that I had a little more than a week, but I guess that was a hollow thought, huh?"

Pinkie's ears flattened.

"Not," he said, stretching a paw out to her, "not that I'm complaining, not honestly. Just..."

He sighed, shaking his head before tilting his neck back and making a low groaning noise behind his closed mouth.

"I don't know," he admitted, coming back up and sipping from his coffee mug and making a face at the cold brew. "I don't know what I want. I want friends around and I want to crawl into a hole in the same paw. I need to talk with somecreature at all times so that I don't think about her and I also can't not stop my mind from being drawn to how alone I am, and how I've never thought about anycreature but her."

He sighed and gave a single, hollow laugh. "You know?" he asked, shaking his head at Pinkie.

She sighed slowly, her eyes closing as she frowned. "Well, no," she admitted before her eyes opened and she gazed at him. "But you do, and I can listen, and be there," she said, reaching both of her hooves out and across the table.

"So maybe I've never put that much of myself into one pony before," she said, "And maybe I seem pretty decisive most of the time. But I've had my share of days that were pretty far down in the dumps, and for some of them, I've even wanted to be alone. But it's never, ever once helped," she said, looking into his eyes.

"It's always been my friends that helped pull me out of those funks. Heck, it's even been you once or twice."

Her lips quirked. "You remember that day a few months after you got here, and you found me crying in a hallway because I'd just gotten a letter from home about my dad being sick?"

His eyes widened. "Is that why? Oh Celestia, Pinkie—"

She snorted and waved a hoof through the air before it came back to rest on the table. "No, it's fine, he had to go to the hospital but they worked it out just fine." Her smile returned. "Do you remember what you did?"

He sighed and leaned his elbows onto the table, covering his face with his paws. "That's why I was apologizing," he groaned. "I brought you—"

She giggled when he groaned again. "You brought me a cupcake from the front, and you told me you hoped that it'd help me feel better," she giggled. "And I told you I knew it would. Because~?"

He sighed then dropped his arms to the table, his paws resting on her forelegs between her knees and hooves.

"Because you'd made them that morning, and they had a little extra chocolate in them," he sighed before he joined in with her quiet giggles. "Celestia, I was an awkward little dragon."

"It was really sweet," Pinkie said.

"Because you made it with extra chocolate, remember," he said, chuckling when she snorted and raised her eyebrows at him. "No, I get what you meant." He sighed. "Still, I could've done something for you, better than buying a cupcake you'd made to give to you."

"It wasn't the gift silly, it was the giving," she said, squeezing his arms with her hooves. "It wasn't because you gave me something, it was because you cared enough to give me something. That's when I knew we were real friends, and not just friends because of Twilight."

He chuckled. "Alright, I get it." He left his paws where they were for a bit, just feeling her softness before he breathed in sharply and shook his head.

"Alright, alright," he said, taking another sip of his mug and flinching before he refreshed it from the metal carafe. "You've convinced me not to hole up, not that you really had to. The next thing on my mind, I suppose, is dating. Should I even try, or should I keep to myself for a bit, et cetera. Mac thinks I should find another mare, but—"

He trailed off and shrugged.

"It feels disingenuous, I guess? Like whatever affections I had for Rarity were something that any mare could pick up, replace. And like I wasn't actually interested in her, just looking for someone to take my mind off things?"

He looked at Pinkie and shrugged. "I don't know?"

Pinkie hummed, leaning back in her chair and tapping the tips of her hooves together. "Well," she said slowly, "as long as you were honest with yourself, and with the other lady, it should be okay, right?"

She shrugged. "I don't think you're the kind to just jump into a rebound, honestly. You're too in your own head," Pinkie said, poking her temple and giggling before regaining her serious, 'I-Am-Listening' face.

"That sounds like it should make sense," Spike said slowly, before sighing. "But who around here's gonna date a dragon? Smolder has—" Spike's snout wrinkled as he tried to think of a term before he gave up and said, "Whatever they have going on, and she's still pretty much the only other dragon in town that I know."

He made a face.

"And besides, she still kind of treats me like a little brother, and I'm done with that whole scene."

Pinkie tried to muffle her snort with her hoof, but Spike's look was more than clear that it hadn't worked and she gave an apologetic grin.

"Well, that's all the dragons," she said, Spike nodding along with her segue, "but Rarity isn't a dragon—"

"Scarier," Spike said with a nod, Pinkie giggling before continuing.

"So, are you looking for a mare, or a changeling, or—?" she let the sentence trail, waving a hoof through the air in rough circles.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," he said with a shrug. "I'm, well, straight, but otherwise..." He shrugged again, but harder.

"Alright, alright, alright," Pinkie said as she bobbed her head, closing her eyes as she thought. "Well, I kinda keep track of who's dating who, so that I know when to get them anniversary things, but I guess I can make an impromptu dating service," she said, pulling a blank piece of a scroll from her fluff of a mane. "What do you look for in a mare?" she asked perkily, smiling over at him. Raising an eyebrow, she asked, "Herd?"

"Uhh," he monotoned, scratching the highest spine on his neck. "No herd, just a single creature, please. Basic level of cleanliness, bright enough to carry on a conversation, interest in games, and getting out would be a huge plus..."

He paused for a long time, tapping absently on the table with his claws, while Pinkie's smile got tighter.

"Yeah," he said, ignoring the deflated raspberry she gave as her smile collapsed. "Clean lady who's open to nerdy, library stuff," he chuckled.

"So, Twilight?" she asked.

Spike's tongue nearly touched the tabletop as he gagged openly. "My sister? Nah, I'm set," he snorted rolling his eyes at her.

Pinkie giggled. "I didn't mean literally, but you did basically name a lady in between her and Shining Armor," she pointed out, giggling and hiding her face behind the page as he glared at her.

"Well, sorry for having standards," he muttered, flicking the digits of one paw at her.

Still giggling, she lowered the page and bit her lip for a moment, before pulling a quill out of her hair. "This is just working from my memory," she said, scratching out a quite few names on the page, "but this should be some sort of start. Now, when it comes to personality, what are you looking for?"

"Well, somecreature lively and outgoing would be nice," he said, smirking and tilting his head towards the mare across from him. "But I'll need someone who wouldn't mind spending a night inside, maybe reading a new book together, or even an old favorite. And I like trying new things every now and then, as well."

"What about a mare with kids?" Pinkies asked.

Spike's face paled a bit. "Uh, that's a giant commitment," he said. "I think I'm still a bit young for that."

She nodded and scratched out a name. "What about tobacco and drinks?"

Turning slightly green, Spike shook his head. "Uh, no thanks, not after yesterday morning. Not more than occasionally, anyways."

She marked off a few more names.

"Alright, in that case, I think the best pony might be—"

Spike blinked when she said the name. "Really? She isn't super busy up in Canterlot?"

"Well, she isn't seeing anycreature else, and she could probably use a break from her work," Pinkie mentioned, before lifting an eyebrow. "Besides, the way you guys helped her out, I'm sure she'd give you at least one date."

"I dunno Pinks," he said slowly. "We met under really weird circumstances."

"Tell me one mare you couldn't say that about," Pinkie replied, raising her eyebrow slowly.

Opening his mouth, he slowly shut it. "Alright, you got me." He squirmed a little in his chair. "It won't be weird?"

Shrugging lightly, Pinkie smiled. "As weird as you make it."

Letting out a breath, he narrowed his eyes in thought before shaking his head. "You know what? Buck it, right? Would you send her a letter for me?"

Pinkie smiled. "I'd be happy to!"

Author's Note:

Sorry for the slender chapter, it was getting funky and needed to get some fresh air :trollestia:

Who is this mystery mare? Will she capture our scaly protagonist's heart?

Probably not, but it'll be good fun anyways :yay: See you next chapter!