• Member Since 21st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 1st, 2016

TLC


deactived, thanks for hanging around.

T

Since he first laid eyes on her, Spike has been in love with Rarity. We all know it, hay, most Equestria knows it by now. The unicorn in question has been acting as though she felt the same way, saying sweet things and acting so lovely to the baby dragon. But as years have passed, Spike's seen the big picture and doesn't want to have his emotions toyed with.

Though maybe he doesn't know the half of it.

(Sequel- "All Things Come To Be Loved And Lost")

Inspired by the song "Don't Love Me That Way" By the long gone, but not forgotten Prozzak

Image Link: http://shephardadv.deviantart.com/art/Spike-s-holding-Rarity-267577498

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 145 )

Dat title!

Oh, and great story! Though I don't really like SpikeXRarity, I must say that this is very well-written.:yay:

She wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with her tomorrow for lunch

Redundant word use.

She gave me her signature smile, the one she had that was only met for me

I think you meant to have "meant" in there.

For a few seconds, a gazes met.

Pretty sure you mean "our"

She hadn't seen me yet as I past through the doors of the Foal a Deux restaurant

"passed"

Rarity ordered for a salad with a side of hay fries and dressing

wat

I am I supposed to tell her?

Again, redundancy issues.

I haven't Ben able to get you out of my mind

been**

My thoughts were buzzing around at a million miles s second

miles* a second*

my mind was like a snow with all the snow being Rarity' confession

huh

turns back to see two waiters undoubtingly noticed our escape

undoubtedly noticing*

she stared at me amjmcross the table

wat
One more thing I noticed... you said they were having a lunch date, but it was 4 when Spike got up, and then you said it was noon when they got to the restaurant...? Inconsistent times hurt my brain:facehoof:
Last thing, you switch between past and present tense constantly:facehoof:


All in all, I really did like this and would like to see more:raritywink:
If you need an editor, I'm always happy to help somepony. Your story has promise:twilightsmile:
Just drop me a PM sometime

1843572 Spam bot! Quick, kill it with fire!

TLC

Okay, one. Thank you, Obey Molestia for the error list. I was just trying to get this out before I went to sleep. I'm pretty sure I got them all.:twilightsheepish:
Two, with the spam bot dude?? :twilightoops: not cool

-TLC

TLC

OMG I MEAN BRONY2893!!
Man, I need to sleep more.:ajsleepy:

>I've always had."

"I always have." is the proper phrasing.

> a look i've only seen her give me

Uppercase I needed.

I always like Spike/rarity Ships More make more. No really I would like to know if Twilight knew or how she will react if she didn't..

I like it. I can't wait for what the next chapter leads us to.

1843450 Perhaps they were typing on a tablet or something of the sort?

you switch between past and present tense constantly

I have problems with that too, it's something I think didn't stick in a lot of people's heads in English class. :twilightoops:

A few more things that Brony didn't list, these are a few that spellchecker wouldn't catch either.

"...I trust her, why couldn't I?..." - wouldn't

"..., nothing's worst than seeing a potential chore being made before you in my eyes." - worse

SO MUCH FEELS!

Spike in this story reminds me so much of me. Only difference is when I told her how I felt I was not about to get laid ten minutes later. I got friendzone to death.

Nice story really sweet.

Looks good... continue please :moustache:

Sure there were grammatical errors, but the story is still adorable. :rainbowkiss: And a bit different than the average, which would go into multiple chapters of misunderstanding between the two. Yep, at first it's all sweet and innocent and then... Bow chicka wow wow... Spikey is about to get some. :moustache: lol! Do please go on, author.

Absolutely amazing! We need more! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

1843770>>1843771
No prob:twilightsmile:
Drop me a pm sometme, I'll edit for you

Spike reminds me of myself a bit. Nicely written, either way. :moustache:

Please, continue what it is you're doing.

can definetly go on ^^ :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

He looks up, turns back to see two waiters undoubtingly noticed our escape.

This part. I have no idea what you meant here. Also, you have some serious issues with your tenses. The narrative goes back and forth between past and present and that can seriously mess a reader.

The first fic I've seen that Spike and Rarity have the same feeling for each other.

Ohh the troll's is strong with this one. :rainbowlaugh: it was very... emotional, is what I could say although remember stick to a tense, either present or past, in a sentence never both. You know something tell me you want to continue this story althought I could trully see your doubt. Give it a go.

1843450 Look at you, saving me all that time.

1843840 Considering her confidence in the matter, I'd suspect so. I do agree that seeing her reaction would be pretty nice.

Nicely done. A few issues throughout, but it seems they were already pointed out. I look forward to the next part, but try to catch all you errors ahead of time :raritywink:

Hope it continues, I liked it~

Good lord, that was brilliant. Probably won't stick around for sexytimes, but I certainly got enjoyment out of that

Hell, I need to be reinvigorated in Sparity. Do me proud, mate!:raritywink:

Well written. Really. Now i'm just waiting for secksytimes. :yay:

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have led you on this long, I was just so scared of losing what we have together. Spike..." she stared at me amjmcross the table, her teary blue gaze stuck on me. "I do love you

:rainbowhuh: Is this some kind of leftover?

I could relate to how Spike feels about Rarity in this fic...
Nicely written.

Hmm, Spike doesn't really sound like himself in this.

sparity = fave

I have something amazing to read! yay!!

To be concluded... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png {Aw, come on!)
You go and make this happen! I don't care if this needs to be rated M for Mature, This could be rated A for Awesome already!
But get a proofreader and/or editor as well, there are some issues with your story. Happens to the best of us.

I'm not really sure why but...
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/5/28/FbzzONQFKkCNLZlzTmaVDA2.png
Despite not reading it... but I'll star it anyways and get to it later

Hot damn.... So much blatant... I can't process with such ......
Damnit I got to find Sparity clop now. Damnit. Such amazingness.....

I couple spelling and grammar issues, which I'm too tired and occupied to point out (not to mention continuity, no restaurant would hold a table for 3 hours+), but overall this was good, you nailed Spike's and Rarity's personalities and this was believable

I don't get the times. It says he woke up at 4, then had lunch with Rarity at noon...what?

To Be Concluded...



"This is my fault. I shouldn't have led you on this long, I was just so scared of losing what we have together. Spike..." she stared at me amjmcross the table, her teary blue gaze stuck on me. "I do love you

Is that text below To Be Concluded supposed to be there?

TLC

Thank you all for the feedback, I was indeed writing this on an iPad. And thank you for making this the second top rated story on the site! I couldn't believe this would get any attention!:twilightblush:

-TLC

Max

Great story, can't wait for the next chapter!

Feature Box. Looks like you'll be continuing this one. :raritywink:

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