SteelSirNoName
Joined 24th Aug, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Canterlot Voice · 5.4k words · 101 50 · 4.6k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.094 seconds
Total duration
643 users online
731,018 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Kind of...... Random...?
I'm guessing this is random clop, but still.... What?
Looking at the dislike bar, I doubt any one has read it yet.
My advice is updating the description, trying to catch reader's attention.
You spelt 'Includes' wrong, so you may get shit on.
I think I'm not going to rate this story, don't know why, just won't.
Good luck!
Edit: No, I didn't read or thumbs this story. Sorry, but no.
The first paragraph is ok,a good start, but then....ick, just ick. Cherrilee would not do that. Disgusting. I rarely give a fanfic a thumbs down, but this is just...nasty.
O...kay. Read it, walking away without any regret.
I'm curious. Please, continue...
1) Capitalize your "i"("i was busy", "i lifted")
2) One speaker per paragraph. (You break this rule for example in paragraph with word "handsome").
3) Split paragraphs consistently. Sometimes you break them with single enter("followed.<ENTER>Coming into the back "), sometimes with double("
"deter from my work.<ENTER><ENTER>Minutes passed as").
4) There is no romance(yet?).
5) As for the story, it's too early to say yet, but so far it looks like usual cliché story : teacher, student, bees, special secret lesson. It's not a problem per se, but the problem is that it isn't done well: there is no single scene that grabs attention.
For the love of all thing good and pure.... WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel dirty after reading that.
Thumbs down not just due to the implied foalcon and Cherilee acting totally OOC but for the cliche'd ridden plot.
Students are bad, teacher keeps them after school, teaches them about the "birds and the bees" using themselves instead of diagrams, blah blah blah.
>Evil Homer - TWE's Tactical Tactless Nuke
i kinda would like to have seen that fight between AB and SS
I got turned on for nothing. If this wasn't so badly written it might have been a great story.
I like this story. Make moar please!
I like where dis is going
this is interesting but if you just guna complain about what the writer dus keep it to yourself its what they want to do right?
hmm im curious as to where this goes continue
Y do so many people dislike this, it looks good
1689750 Probably due to the foalcon. Or the fact that it's the teacher targeting them, which is far to common irl for people to not have a twinge of dislike for it. Putting the two together is bound to get dislikes.
I was just looking for a Silverbloom ship.
1689750 because the author has multiple typos and at least two tense switches in a description that's barely even a paragraph. I haven't even read the story yet and the complete and utter lack of effort whatsoever in the very basics is appalling even for the extremely low standards this site has.