Sterilization
Twilight copes with her inability to bear foals after grievous injuries renders her sterile.
The harsh glare of dawn's early light pouring in from the window overlooking the Canterhorn was positively blinding as Twilight awoke to the rhythmic sound of mechanical scratching and the pungent funk of antiseptics.
As her consciousness steadily returned she let out a low pained groan, raising her hoof to block the glare and squinting her eyes against the morning sun. Slowly, carefully, she rose up from her bed, taking notice of the IV needle hooked up to her foreleg. Her gaze trailed from the various tubes and wires sticking out of her to the medical apparatuses they were hooked up to and the room itself, noting just how blandly utilitarian it all was.
It took her a brief moment to collect herself before she managed to deduce that she was in the hospital, and judging by the thick layer of gauze reeking with heady scented ointments wrapped around her abdomen she was recovering from surgery.
She attempted to recall what led her here and remembered that she had just returned from a disastrous mission in Panama before being placed on a gurney and put under.
With the advent of the Thalmann Generators, direct engagements with the human opposition were next to impossible, even with the might of an alicorn backing the Equestrian forces. She and Celestia had thought it prudent to pivot tactics and, for the time being, focus on small scale raids and eliminating key targets as a way to mitigate their disadvantage. With their magic taken out of the equation, it was all they could do now that they were on the defensive.
Thus, it was decided that they would destroy the Panama Canal in order to cripple the Americas' supply line and buy the Equestrians some time to plan their next move. Twilight was to lead a small strike force into the country and sabotage the canal, slipping in unseen and slipping out once their task was complete. But they were caught early on and the mission had ended in complete and total failure, resulting in Twilight and what remained of her crack team of commandos fleeing to the homeland to lick their wounds.
It was another loss to add onto Equestria's growing list of defeats.
Gritting her teeth, she resolved to return to the castle and resume her duties as princess as swiftly as possible. Before she could pull herself off of the bed, however, a familiar voice cried out to her. Her head snapped over to the source of the voice where she saw Spike standing by the door frame, slovenly and unkempt with a look of overwhelming relief on his face.
"Twilight!" Spike shouted, his teary eyes full of worry as he ran up and pulled her into a tight hug. "You're awake! You're finally awake!"
"S-Spike... calm down," Twilight rasped, smiling gently as she brought up a hoof to brush his scales. "I'm alive, aren't I?" She reassured, but her smile masked the pain she finally registered simmering just beneath the skin. Every part of her ached with a dull pain, especially her abdomen. Even speaking was a chore that left her breathing short and labored.
"Yeah, you are," Spike sniffed, wiping away his tears with his arm. "Dr. Wellhoof assured us you'd make it."
"Us?" Twilight raised a brow.
"I believe that's our cue," Princess Celestia piped up, passing through the door along her parents and closest friends. They all clamored around her, expressing how worried they were when they learned she had been gravely wounded and needed to undergo surgery. It was a touching gesture, but one that made for a noisy racket that disturbed the other patients in the medical wing.
Night Light, Twilight Velvet and Spike were in the worst shape they've ever been, looking as though they've been swept up by a tornado and lived to tell the tale. They hadn't been able to find a moment of peace ever since Twilight had been wheeled to the ICU of Canterlot General Hospital. The family was already in shambles, knee deep in a pit of despair having suffered the tragic loss of Shining Armor, Cadence and Flurry Heart. Losing Twilight would've utterly destroy them.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie on the other hoof were just as supportive as they've always been, but even they couldn't hide their excessive distress, acting much in the same way they had been when Twilight had first ascended to alicornhood all those years ago. Deep down they understood that she was as mortal as they were in spite of being an alicorn. Twilight could be killed as easily as Luna was and the thought of it caused no end of panic for everyone.
Dr. Wellhoof entered the room shortly after and frowned at the sight. While their reaction was completely understandable, this was still a hospital. It was a place of healing and proper decorum needed to be followed, no matter who they may be.
"Alright, alright!" Dr. Wellhoof huffed, breaking up the unruly bunch. "Dial it back and keep your voices down! Princess Sparkle is still recovering, let her have some breathing room, ponies!"
"Aw , come on, doc. We're just looking out for our friend," replied Rainbow Dash, looking rather chafed.
"Yeah. Can't you make an exception for us?" Pinkie Pie queried.
"If I make an exception for you then I have to make an exception for everypony," he grumbled. The sullen look on his face was enough to get them to back down. "Look. You all can stay, but please, behave. This is a hospital, respect the others who are here as well. That includes you, your highness," Wellhoof glanced over to Celestia, who nodded in return, a slight blush visible on her cheeks. "Very good. Now," he turned over to Twilight. "Princess Sparkle, how do you feel?"
"Better... Dr. Wellhoof, you have no idea the depths of gratitude you've earn for saving me, but I must be on my way. I need to get back to-" Twilight tried to protest, but a stern look from Wellhoof cut whatever response she may have had cold in its tracks. Almost immediately after she broke into a violent coughing fit, whooping and hollering uncontrollably as her parents rushed to her aid, patting at her back and hand her the glass of water by the nightstand. She greedily drank it up, allowing the cool liquid to sooth her throat.
"Easy, Twilight. One gulp at a time," her father, Night Light, soothed.
"Don't push yourself, dear. We're here for you," replied Twilight Velvet, tenderly caressing her daughter's mane.
Wellhoof rolled his eyes at Twilight. "Forgive my brashness but as your physician I declare that you are in no condition to leave, princess. You sustained grievous injuries that would've killed a lesser pony. Were it not for your alicorn physiology and my timely surgical intervention we wouldn't even be having this conversation." The bluntness of his words caused the others to go wide-eyed, save for Celestia. Callous as it was he was just looking out for her. "Fret not. Taking into account your accelerated healing, I estimate that we can have you discharged within a week's time."
"One week?!" Twilight exclaimed, attempting to force herself out of bed, only to be stopped by everypony around her. "No. That is unacceptable. You don't understand, Equestria needs me!"
"Equestria needs you alive, Twilight," Celestia retorted, her expression downcast. There was genuine care in her voice. Twilight was her dearest student and royal equal. She'd even go as far as to call her the daughter she never had. To lose her would make the world all the lesser. She couldn't risk that, not again.
"You will have your time soon, but it is important that you heed the good doctor's words and allow yourself to rest. We've lost so much already, we can't lose you too. Think of your friends, your family." She gestured to the faces around her, all nervous and worried. "One week, that's all you need."
"I-I..." Twilight stammered, weighing her options before frowning and falling back into her reclined position. "Fine. But, I demand that I still be able to handle paperwork while I am bedridden. The central bureaucracy was already hindered without Luna, our government will be dangling from a string if I don't help keep it in order."
Wellhoof nodded. "That's completely fine with me. Now, onto more pressing matters." He used his magic to pull a folder off the wall and began flipping through it. His expression changed ever so subtly as he read over the documents. Whatever it was, he seemed to be contemplating something. "Oh, no... It's worse than I thought," he muttered beneath his breath. Applejack was the only one who seemed to notice his apprehensiveness, and decided to speak up about it.
"What? What's wrong?" she pressed, narrowing her eyes. "Apples and oranges, doc. Don't keep us in the dark."
"...I'm afraid this is something I'd rather discuss in private with Princess Sparkle," replied Wellhoof, doing his best to be tactful about the situation. "If you would permit me-"
"If it's that serious then it could be shared with all of us," Rarity interjected.
"In my professional opinion, I'd rather not," he remained firm in his decision. "Please, if you can all just leave the room for a momen-"
"Oh, out with it already!" Night Light suddenly barked, a glower plastered on his face. "If my daughter has some problem my family and I are entitled to know! We don't need secrets!"
There was an awkward bout of silence after his outburst. Everyone stared at Dr. Wellhoof, who looked aggravated by the position he was in. Sighing heavily, he brought up a hoof to rub the bridge of his snout before turning to face Twilight.
"Princess Sparkle, I advise against this, but with your permission I will share the information on this chart regardless of privacy," he grumbled in as polite a manner as he could muster given what he knows. "Really give it some thought. I mean it when I say that I strongly believe this is something that I need to speak to you about one on one."
"..." Twilight looked deep in thought. Dr. Wellhoof seemed adamant that he talk with her privately.
He was serious about it, and for a moment she was inclined to agree with his assessment. However, after everything that's happened, what with Equestria steadily being pushed back in the war, she didn't know if she could take any more bad news alone. She needed the support of her friends and family to help cope with whatever it was that he had to say.
"Just... Tell it to us straight, doctor," Twilight breathed, gripping tightly onto Spike's claw, who squeezed back reassuringly.
Wellhoof clicked his tongue and cocked his head to the side. He had hoped it wouldn't have come to this, but his hooves were tied now. His horn glowed and he closed the door to the room, locking it so that others may not disturb them. Then, he reached into the folder and pulled out an x-ray sheet. He propped it up against the light board and switched it on, displaying the contents of the film. Everyone looked on, confused as to what they were looking at due to part of the image looking mangled.
"This is an x-ray of your lower abdomen, Princess Sparkle," he gestured to the film. "You were shot several times during your encounter with humans in Panama. While they weren't fatal, a few bullets found themselves lodged in your body. We removed all of them to the best of our abilities, something that was made easier due to your accelerated healing repairing damaged tissue." He pulled out another film and planted it on the light board, it depicted her organs.
"Unfortunately, it would seem that the damage done to this specific area of your body was much more severe than we had originally anticipated." He tapped a part of the film depicting a small cluster of shard-like foreign objects.
Twilight subconsciously brought up her free hoof to the gauze around her abdomen and gulped. She felt her heartbeat quicken to startling pace and breathing grow short. A chill ran up her spine, suddenly the room had become all too cold. An overwhelming sense of dread began to form in the pit of her stomach as the doctor continued with his explanation.
"One of the bullets fragmented upon entry, expanding throughout your body and causing damage to your reproductive organs. Permanent damage." Wellhoof let out a heavy, sorrowful sigh. He and many others like him hated being the bearer of bad news, but it was all part of the job. Swallowing thickly, he met Twilight's anxious gaze and said what needed to be said. "Princess Sparkle. I-I'm sorry, but... that bullet. It left you sterile."
Sterile.
The word echoed in Twilight's mind like a gong. Now, it all made sense why he was so apprehensive to reveal this information to an audience.
Twilight could no longer bear foals.
She'll never be able to have children.
Panic and denial began to set in, the room around her started spinning wildly.
"No... No, no, no! P-please, tell me you're wrong! Tell me, it's not true! I'll never be able to... Able to-! Gah!" Twilight screamed like a banshee, pulling away from Spike as she broke down in front of everyone. She gripped at her head and screwed her eyes shut, retreating into the darkness of her mind and rationalizing to herself that it was all some horrible nightmare she would soon wake up from. That one day she'll be able to cradle a newborn foal as a mother.
Wellhoof could only look on with pity as the room exploded in a squall of angry shouts and shocked disbelief.
Spike, Pinkie Pie and Applejack all became white as a sheet, unable to process the mere idea of being unable to have children. Twilight would dream of raising a family one day, now that dream had been to smashed to pieces.
Night Light and Twilight Velvet were rightly horrified by the news. They swiftly embraced Twilight, whispering words of comfort and apology, holding onto her out of the fear that if they let go she'll spiral deeper into madness.
Rainbow, Rarity and even Princess Celestia ran up to Wellhoof, yelling in his face, blaming him for not doing enough or questioning if it was possible to undo the damage.
He answered truthfully. With their current level of medical knowledge there was no way to reverse the damage or if it would even be possible to begin with. The only other option he could think of would be tapping into powerful, perhaps even profane, magicks to remedy her sterility, and even then he wasn't sure if Twilight would want to go through with that. He said the best thing they can do was to be there for her, as they are now.
As for Twilight, she wept.
She collapsed into her parent's arms and began to mentally unravel, sobbing uncontrollably and crying until her throat turned hoarse and face stained with hot tears.
Cruel fate had taken from her again.
And it will continue to take until there is nothing left so long as she continues down this path.
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Good.
But I won't be satisfied till she's 6
feethooves under.Edit: Oops, I got this confused with the Twilight from "Regeneration".
Still barely feel any sympathy for her in this story, though.
One part of me feels bad for Twilight. The other part... not so much.
Now she knows what it is like to be a New Foal.
Also hope you are ok.
Another wound in a unnecessary war. Neither did not need to happen, but one madmares plans made both happen.
11548720
Nah, she still has too much free will to be considered a newfoal, even with all the brown-nosing to Celestia.
So you can use her!?
War takes all no matter which side you are on and it all depends on luck that you survive and payment for that.
(I have some sympathy. However not much. The role she played in the Newfoals, how much suffering she helped bring about... I know she gets better, in this timeline. And again, I have some sympathy, and for her eventual redemption... however she's responsible for a much worse fate on a LOT of people.
It makes me think of the old question... does becoming a better person down the line lead to forgiveness for your crimes of the past? How much must you do to redeem yourself? Is it even really possible? ... In any case, the fate, as terrible as it is, is in many ways fitting. And unlike so many others, she still has her life.)
11548750
Normally, I'd protest on grounds that Celestia loves Twilight like a daughter....but....
"remembers the lie Celestia told Cadence to get her to use the cannon"
...I have no idea what this Celestia's thinking. I thought I might have, but now? "shakes head" Poor Twilight ;_;
My immature brain: "Sterilize these nuts"
Nope. No pity, sympathy and definetly no empathy here.
Toollight deserved far worse than a slow death by cancer for her actions. Say having literally every creature she cared about slowly killed in front of her would have been closer. Just like all the humans and ponies she sentenced to death for the "crime" of daring to refuse her path of "Harmony" for anything else.
Personally that is the only thing thing I despise about the Negotions-verse. Its always the victim who has to forgive. No matter how badly they were wronged and how little (if anything) the ponies do to atone. Humans don't work that way for a reason nor would most creatures.
11548756
No. It never does. Really how do you balance the scales when you willingly choose to cause others misery or worse simply for personal gain or pleasure? After all, you're still alive and able to have a future while your victims had theirs taken away.
The old priest at our parish had a good way of putting it.
"You can ask for forgiveness. But if you are truly repentant, then you accept the hate of those you have wronged and their vengance - even to offering up your life - as your penance. To do less is not to regret what you have done, but to regret being caught."
Yes he was very traditional in some ways but he knew how to make a point.
11548756
IMO it depends on the crimes and that there are crimes that make you completely beyond redemption, no matter what you do.
For example, let's say Dr. Mengele had discovered a cure for cancer that was easy to manufacture and administer. It still would not redeem him in my eyes, because his crimes were especially heinous.
However, this question depends more on the victims (or the families of the victims). If they decide to forgive, then I do not really have a say in that.
If I lived in that universe and somehow survived the war, I do not think I could ever stop hating Twilight though. Or probably any pony that was not a defector or a child during the war.
Even after the irradiation she got touring the aftermath of the nuking of the CrystalEmpire, as an Alicorn, Twilight still heals rapidly.
It's not the doctor's fault he didn't want to share the bad news. I think it was tough for him to learn that there's not going to be any future Royal heir
11548703
Yeah, I got a little confused too. I thought this was Twilight from Regeneration since the story of Regenerations started with this story. Until we told the writer having the doctor and the TARDIS in it can be its own little Side Story or a spinoff that takes place in another alternate reality.
It seems everyone is in agreement. What happened to her is sad but she completely deserves it.
I don't think the idea of karma exists in Equestria, but here on Earth, it definitely does. Right now, Karma isn't happy with the Equestrian Army, and there's a lot on Karma's death permanent list.
11552926
Thanks for answering
11548756
I suppose in the end, that's a matter between them and whatever deity/-ies exist. They can certainly try to redeem their actions, but it must be accompanied with genuine feelings of regret and a true desire to atone.
Twilight, for all her blind obedience, genuinely believes in the whole "Friendship and Harmony" bit, to the point where the discovery of the true depths and depravity of Equestria's sins broke her in a way nothing else could. She even states as much in "Truth"; she had been talked into betraying everything she ever believed in or worked towards. Her title as "Princess of Harmony", one she took great pride in, is now revealed to be a big, twisted joke, and she's the one most aware of it.
Can one truly atone for what the ponies did? Probably not; you can't "undo" the deaths of three billion humans, almost a billion non-ponies, and the suffering inflicted on the surviving humans, or the trauma of the Newfoals, even if the Newfoals themselves are cured of their condition. In the end, though, Twilight's biggest accomplishment is ensuring what happened could never happen again, and that ponies and humans could learn to coexist and live with each other from now on.
11548941
"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind." Even though one can feel hatred towards Twilight here, tit-for-tat solves nothing, nor does it bring back the dead or cure the wounded or reverse suffering. It becomes something we have to live with. And in some cases, the victim's best best solution is to bear the injury and move on. Dwelling on the injury doesn't help, even if it means forgiveness when it's not deserved. Plus, killing everyone Twilight cares for would include several ponies who were completely innocent; Fluttershy, Spike, Flurry Heart, and her (Twilight's) parents, who were non-combatants.
11548958
Yeah, but then she got cancer. Admittedly, cancer can come from a variety of different triggers, such as stress, poor diet, sickness, etc... but radiation tends to be the highest on that list. Twilight healed everything except the most egregious injuries and afflictions. Celestia was probably going to get cancer had she not suffered from a terminal case of laser beams, and I'm guessing the guards that were with them either died horribly in a few years time or were lucky enough to get terminal lead poisoning during the human invasion of Equestria.
11548950
Twilight was perfectly willing to give her life, accepting the hatred of humans and ponies alike, as seen in "Oppression". It's when Rail Splitter told her to cut the self-pity BS and try to make sure what Celestia did could never happen again that she really started working towards making things better. She probably would have accepted the death penalty, but she still needed to fix a lot of things that the Princesses, herself included, did.
11548955
I think we can safely say that a) Josef Mengele was the sort of quack who could never even begin to create any sort of miracle cure (really, the stuff he did at Auschwitz was the worst sort of bullshit pseudoscience that had no use whatsoever) and b) if he did, he wouldn't really be repentant so there'd be no point in forgiving him.
The ponies, on the other hand, are going to have to bear that cross, and if anything, a lot of them are going to hate themselves and their people for what they've done. Sure, some will try to come up with BS "Clean Equestrian Army vs Evil Royal Guards" apologist arguments, but it's going to be a real uphill battle. I mean, even their most beloved heroes are guilty of all sorts of horrible stuff; Luna is a mass-murderer who would absolutely be put on trial had she surrendered or been captured, Cadence the Alicorn Princess of Love is now going to be remembered for being a butcher and a user of WMDs, and Shining Armor's legacy is irreversibly tainted with the fact that he's responsible for the death and suffering of millions. Twilight only really gets a pass because she got a chance to redeem herself, and even then both people and ponies are going to be slinging insults and hate at her for a long time - and she's accepted that, because she knows she probably deserves it. She's just trying to fix the damage she helped inflict.
Does that completely forgive her actions? We could probably debate it until the heat death of the universe, but there's no argument that she genuinely regrets her actions, and that everything done from the peace negotiations onwards was her attempt to make amends. Even her trying to make friends again with Fluttershy is an attempt to see if Flutters forgives her, and if she can make amends for castigating someone who was in the right.
By contrast, Celestia regrets her actions in that it caused the complete destruction of Equestria and Equus, but would do them again if it meant saving "her ponies" (read "trying to protect her perfect little society/nation"). If Twilight was given the choices all over again, it's my opinion she would have never agreed to transfer Equestria to begin with, and would have fought hoof and horn to save Equus and prevent the war from happening to begin with.
11553290
I used him as an example because I consider the things he did to be irredeemably evil. Much more so than some government official who ordered many more deaths but did not himself kill anybody, though both deserve the harshest punishments.
Yeah, Twilight was regretting her actions after being told that Celestia killed everyone on their old planet and realizing how evil she was. I can see why people would forgive her. Just that if I was seriously harmed by the war, I probably could never forgive her or the ponies who actually did the harming.
I really wonder how much magic can fix in this world. Besides that in a war for survival permanent damage to reproductive organs is the least of one's issues. Believe me if something happened to mine I'd be less worried about my ability to breed and more worried about any phantom limb effects or peeing properly or stuff.
Most of the time these chapters are moving to one extent or the other but this chapter felt like it didn't have an impact.
Besides you can always adopt. Technically Celestia did that with Twilight. Like she did with Sunset Shimmer.
Good luck in writing the rest.
11553290
I know about the radiation causing cancer. That is expected from radiation. What is remarkable, is that her AlicornMagic can still make her damaged cells heal rapidly. Irradiated tissue sucks at healing. I would not be surprised, that as an Alicorn, if she would not be irradiated, she would just regenerate her lost or damaged reproductive organs overnight. In Regeneration, Twilight is not irradiated, but lost a wing and an eye. I would not be surprised if they grow back:
- MLP: FiM
- Doctor Who
- MLP Gen 5
- Dark
- Adventure
- Sci-Fi
The Doctor has to stop the Conversion War and save humanity from Celestia's madness, but a worse evil is playing everyone as pawns for a greater plotOn one hand, I do have some sympathy for Twilight to the extent of her being unable to sire foals. It would be heartbreaking to any wanting to have kids, only to go through something like this that completely destroys that chance.
On the other hand, I'm not surprised that her list of losses has gone up to this scale. Fate was indeed cruel to her this time, and it will continue to be unless she finally raises the White Flag Of Submission.
11557576
Sire? No, no, Twilight lost the ability to bear foals. The sire is the one who sires foals, hence the name, and the sire is the...ahem...donor.