• Member Since 26th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Some Leech


I...I am a monument to all your sins...

T

This story is a sequel to Big Trouble in Little Pony Town


Shouldered with an oversized and unintelligible guest, Anon does his best to acclimate to what is apparently his new domestic routine. Unfortunately for him, a rough start of the morning is only the beginning of yet another day of misadventures...

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)
Big shout-out to MiddyNight (Twitter @Middynight_) for helping with the Scottish accent for her!

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 49 )
Dan

A shame you didn't upload this in time for Burns Night last Monday.

(Also, first comment! That's never happened before)

Mmmm, more of impenetrable accent-horse!

Comment posted by Autumnblazelover61 deleted January 28th

10651384
Writing staves off the crippling depression!

Don't know why the thought of haggis turns mus stomach a bit, but part of me wants to give it try...also nice to see more of these two.

Oh dear, he's got some explaining to do when she wakes up :)

btw

Sadly for the stear, his hubris was his undoing.

steer

Hopping onto the titanic mare’s, like a sucrose-fueled acrobat

Her what?

And this, boys and girls, is why it's ever so important to drink responsibly. Or you too might awaken as a shame-filled little spoon for an absolute unit of a pony.

Loved these stories :twilightsmile:
I know it's a bit of a pipe dream, but it would be entertaining for her to meet the princesses (and another foul mouthed scottish bat pone while she's there :raritywink:).

Dan

10651498

It's unfortunate that real haggis is illegal in the US. Apparently lung meat was too icky for some regulator's sensibilities, but heart and kidneys and pancreas and all the shite in American hot dogs are a-okay.

10651498
It’s not bad, although you can’t get real haggis in the US these days for the most part. Heart and liver aren’t bad, lungs aren’t really allowed in the US, plus oatmeal, tallow, spices, and broth, before being boiled. Super dense and rich though, in a very weird way.

Kinda a steak porridge texture, just with a very liver flavor. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but not on the list of things I’d eat again either. And that’s saying a lot coming from someone who has eaten a huge variety of animals.

10651859
That's why it's helpful to know a butcher or farmer!

>that coverart
$PONE TO THE MOOOOOON
HODL WITH THOSE DIAMOND HOOVES BROS

Huh. I was hoping the story would start off with some kind of explaination why he still tolerates at all the pony who tried to rape him in the previous story. That little detail kinda breaks all SoD that this isn't a horribly abusive arrangement.

Ord constantly causing a disaster with everything she does kinda gets old after a while.

Dissapointing. If her trying to rape him at the end of the previous story means so little that its ignored entirely, then there's really no reason to try and set them up. Just have Ord skip right to forcing herself on him and call it a day.

.... Okay what the actual hell Lyra? I'm calling bullshit unicorn shenanigans.

Funny as hell though. I was expecting it to be Rockhoof at first

10652507
GOING ON A TRIP
ON OUR FAVORITE ROCKETSHIP
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

My thought on haggis is that you collect the Offal and brains of a goat. Wash every thing with plain water till the water runs clear for at least a quarter of an hour. Drain off the water, and set aside the Stomach. Chop every thing up in to bits about the size of the tip of your finger. Mix in rolled oats, untill every thing forms into a semi-dry blob. Collect, and wash one Red Brick, or medium sized cobble stone. Open the Stomach wide enough to insert the brick, and pack the Offal blob in around the brick as evenly as possible. Stitch the Stomach closed with Gut or twine. Brown the stomach until dark brown. Lower the BRazed Haggish into a pot of Boiling water, and let boil untill the Brick forks tender, then remove. Open the Stomach, and carefully discard the meat and oats. Slice up the brick, and Serve with plenty of Potteen (a "home distilled" Potato based ale, not to be confused with Poutine). Enjoy.

Call me Mr. FedEx, cuz I SHIP IT!

Only read chapter 1 and knew I had to add to favorites, so far loving this little series.

You fucking tease! All the clop you write, and we get the drunk-sex-memory-loss?! Boooooo!

Lol! Nice wrap up, though! And thanks for the sequel!
You didn't have to, but I, for one, im glad you did!:twilightsmile:

So thanks again. Really hope that the writing and positive comments are well received!:moustache:

10654077
I couldn't help myself, she's just too damn fun to write

So when is Twilight gonna come back with help? Is Rockhoof gonna show up? Or is Luna gonna intervene? And is Celestia gonna give Anon a hilarious "big sis" lecture for her amusement and for his own good?

10654230
Trust me, if I had the time, I could fill a novel with short stories about Nord pony

I have a horrifying theory for why Lyra won, beware ye faint of heart:
Lyra's shitting everything out as she eats it. She takes laxitaves prior to the contest, and the raisins help her digestive tract along. As for where the waste goes: Either she's sitting on top of a portal to the Everfree, or her chair just has a hole leading to a tank.

10654475
B...but she's not sitting on a bucket

Matt Stonie would be proud.

Maybe Lyra teleports anything she eats into her competition's belly lol

Great to read about these two again it was really sweet of Anon to worry about Nord and I really doubt Anon actually bedded her since his pelvis and spine are intact....or maybe that was Zecora's plan all along!! :pinkiecrazy:

We should give you the like only for the picture...

Poor dude...

Forced to subsist on haggis.

The idea of Equestrians having some hidden bloodlust is darkly humorous.

“Begone, sugar de'il, ah’ll hae none o` yer evil promises!” Nord barked, raising a hoof to strike the Element of Laughter.

This would a sane person's reaction to the...concept of Pinkie Pie.

10654269

Nord is the perfect character:

tough, fierce, independent, and yet so naive about the world around her, she becomes lovingly vulnerable.

Nord deserves a Nickelodeon show, dammit!

10662623
Aye
I'm positively smitten with her

I finally got some time to read this and loved it. The only thing that I can say that I don't like is the cliff hanger that is the ending. Is there a chance of a 3rd story in the works?

10703933
We will keep reading and keep being hooked on your stories. Maybe Zacora gave him a posion that will help him get Nord pregnant. Still I would love to see Lylra get busted for using magic to win that contest and have to pay up.

10703941
We'll see!
Nord isn't my pony, so any works with her are done in collaboration with AnonTheAnon

“Ah tore doon a hoose,” she proudly exclaimed, sauntering over with a large platter balanced on one forehoof.

Ah, demolition. A good job for her.

10662581
I'll have you know that haggis is delicious... and I'm dutch! How does that even happen?

In addition to the Castle of Friendship, the School of Friendship, the Cafe of Friendship, and the Paper Mill of Friendship, Twilight had recently constructed a Stock Market of Friendship near the heart of town. He wasn’t sure what the teeming masses of ponies trading commodities had to do with friendship, but that wasn’t his problem. If the Princess wanted to promote a healthy economy, that was her prerogative.

Lol, next will be a brothel of friendship. Where you go to pay to make friends.

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