A Few Highs and Lows...

by Some Leech

Dazed and Despoiled?

“Nnnnnnngh,” Anon moaned, clutching at his head and wishing he was asleep or dead. It wasn’t because he’d accidentally kicked the foot-board, stubbed his toe and woken himself up which left him pining for death - no, that had started the day prior.

Though the precise details of the evening were still a disjointed series of images and flashes, what had led up to his afternoon was crystal clear. The day had started on a high note with a magnanimous and ingenious plan, though things had inevitably gone off the rails. After the bizarre events from two days prior, when Nord had subsequently caused a stock market crash, won a “wrestling” match, and lost an eating competition, he’d wanted to do something nice for her - as such, he’d devised a somewhat elaborate scheme.

Given that he knew perilously little about her, he’d been left to work with what information he did have. She spoke gibberish, was a literal giant pony, could be prone to acts of unintentional destruction, and had apparently spent hundreds of years hibernating in a huge barrel of apple brandy - with all that in mind, he was stricken with a eureka moment.

If there were some way he could invite her out drinking, without suffering the catastrophic consequences, he would almost assuredly give her a fun evening. The prospect would have been simple for a regular pony, although she was anything but - therefore, he’d have to be creative. Getting her tanked and letting her run amuck wasn’t an option, so his scheme involved an interesting and innovative twist.

Equestria was full of a great many wonders, both magical and alchemical, which would be the key to his plot. He hadn’t been sure exactly how he could pull it off, but he had a few ideas of whom he could speak with about the matter. After getting up and checking on his guest, who loudly slumbered on his couch, he’d set off to run a few errands.

His first stop had been Zecora’s home, deep within the Everfree forest. The striped and rather exotic equine was some sort of savant with potions and had helped the denizens of Ponyville on several occasions. After a relatively short and uneventful trip, he reached her abode, politely knocked, and was greeted by the mohawked mare.

Admittedly, his request was a bit unconventional, though she hadn’t seemed bothered in the slightest. If he was intending to get Nord tanked, he’d need a fail-safe. The best solution he could think of was getting drunk along with her, though there was no possible way that would work without some sort of a handicap. After a bit of questioning, he found out that Zecora did have a concoction which would supposedly make him virtually immune to the effects of alcohol.

“Imbibe this bottle and you will think,” she rhymed, handing him a flask, “without the influence of the drink.”

It was absolutely perfect. Thanking her profusely and giving her a hefty tip, he’d rushed off to complete the rest of his errands. He’d had no way of knowing just how long Nord would sleep through her carbohydrate-induced coma, and he didn’t want her to wake up without him home, so he practically jogged back into town.

For nearly an hour, he collected the other components he’d be needing. First and foremost were groceries to restock his fridge and larder - both of which having been nearly emptied by his gargantuan guest. Once he’d loaded up on foodstuffs, including plenty of snacks for their evening, he’d headed to Filthy Rich’s shop.

Ordinarily, he hated going to the affluent and snobbish stallion’s establishment for anything, though this time was an exception. Filthy was one of the very few ponies around who sold hard liquor; with few other choices to pick from, Anon was forced to give the affluent pony some business. Keeping his visit as brief as possible, he’d ordered two gallon kegs of the strongest peach schnapps he could get. With his hooch and provisions acquired, he returned home.

Fortunately, Nord was still asleep when he crept through the door. Seeking to return the favor from the other day, he snuck into the kitchen, stored his supplies, and made breakfast for the two. The scent of frying eggs and toast had been enough to awaken his companion, luring her into the kitchen for the relatively early meal.

It was at this point Anon’s memory got a bit dodgy - not because they’d started drinking, but because nothing of note occurred for some time. If he had to guess, they’d gone for a walk or tried to find her work, although he couldn’t be sure - regardless, after dithering about for the remainder of the morning and early afternoon, they eventually wound back up in his living room. Shortly after settling in for the afternoon, things had kicked off.

Going to fetch herself a snack, Nord had stumbled upon the trove of booze. When she’d questioned him about the spirits, he’d responded in earnest - they were to celebrate her victory and their lucky break, while helping ease the pain of her loss with Lyra. Though he’d hoped to hold off on drinking until after sunset, she’d insisted they crack open the high-proof liquor right then and there.

It was a mild upset in his plan, but it made no real difference. After excusing himself to the restroom, where he stealthily downed the tonic he’d purchased from Zecora, he sauntered into the kitchen, retrieved two glasses, and made ready to entertain his guest. He recalled the schnapps tasting pretty damn good, almost dangerously good, though he hadn’t been concerned. Little did he know, his self-assurance would come back to bite him in the ass hard.

The first hour or so of their evening had been lucid enough. They chatted and laughed, while swapping stories of their pasts - sure, he still couldn’t understand most of what she’d said, but her mirth was infectious. Before he knew it, they’d downed one of the tiny casks and cracked into the second.

Things got increasingly fuzzy from there on out, but fragments and flashes did remain. He recalled them cuddling up on the couch, guffawing and tearfully reenacting comedic scenes they’d seen or experienced, but one memory stuck out. Apparently, at one point or another, they’d gone out for more liquor. The only reason he knew they’d ran out for additional hooch was because he’d fallen and scraped his elbow while leaving Filthy’s shop.

Be damned if he could say just how much they’d ended up drinking, but it had clearly been more than Zecora’s elixir could manage. He didn’t know when or how he’d gotten into bed, seemingly traversing time and space to awaken beneath his covers with the worst hangover he’d ever had. Ruminating on the poor choices of yesterday, wondering if he could get a refund from the striated alchemist, something heavy rolled against his back.

Fur pressed against his bare skin, shaking him from his thoughts. Twisting his head, praying it wasn’t what he thought, he spied of a fiery mane and cream colored snout resting behind his shoulder. Waking up next to a large and imposing equine would have been startling enough, but that was only the beginning of his problems.

Lifting the blanket, peering down at himself, his pupils shrank to pinpricks. He was as naked as the day he’d been born, curled up beside Nord. Exactly what had compelled him to remove his clothes was a mystery, one which he didn’t dare ponder for long, but he’d done so all the same. With everything that had happened the night before, it was possible that he’d traversed the interspecies -

“Mmmmmm,” Nord dreamily hummed, causing the man to start, “Ye cannae git awa' fae me…”

Anon had no way of knowing if she was still asleep or not, since he couldn’t see her face - nevertheless, she reached out, wrapped one titanic foreleg around him, and pulled him against her chest. Even if he’d wanted to get up, it would have been an impossible task. Feeling like death, caught in the iron grasp of the ancient and baffling pony, he screwed his eyes closed and desperately tried to remember exactly what they’d done.

Try as he might, the best his pickled brain could do was give him fleeting glances of something. They’d stumbled and crashed down the hallway, haphazardly helping one another along, before bursting into his chamber. Peeking out, seeing his door was off its hinges, his eyes flitted across the room for any clues which may trigger a flashback.

His pants hung from the ceiling fan, lazily revolving on one of the blades, which didn’t quell his growing concern. Twisting his head ever so slightly, taking care not to disturb the mare, he spotted her shirt draped over his headboard. Though he didn’t have the best view of it, the bed felt like it was damaged - listing to one side and having a sizable indent towards its center. Vague recollections of them stripping and getting onto the bed flashed by, sending him into a cold sweat.

The sight triggered another memory; for some reason or another, possibly inspired by the copious amounts of dutch courage they’d imbibed, he’d actually tackled Nord onto the mattress! Quick to retaliate, yet being gentle enough not to harm him, she’d grabbed his shoulder and pinned her beneath himself. Staring into her eyes, his laughter had died off when she leaned in, breathed hotly on his face, and pressed her silken lips to his.

A hind leg extended over Anon, locking over his hip and drawing him even more tightly to her body. Even more trapped than before, stuck as the massive mare’s little spoon, his heart leapt into his throat. The heat of her bare chest and loins pressed against him were excruciating, filling him with all manner of unwanted and wholly inappropriate thoughts. The one silver lining was that the lingering effects of the libation ebbed marginally.

As her weight settled upon him, the reality of the situation sank in. He was trapped in bed, cuddling with a talking, insanely strong horse that he’d more than likely bedded. The absolute worst thing about the entire situation was that he honestly didn’t know what they’d done! It would be bad enough to have the visceral and doubtlessly depraved details in mind, but his thoughts were left to wonder on the specifics of what may or may not have happened.

“Mah wee jimmy,” she sleepily whispered, draping her head over his shoulder, “a'm gonnae tak' guid care o' ye…”

The unmistakable sensation of something warm against him sent a shiver up his spine, yet that wasn’t what caused his pulse to quicken - no, that was because it was a decidedly moist heat. Gyrating her hips, while she slipped her other hind leg under him, she ground her nethers on his rump. Along with the balmy sensation, a pair of erect nubs teased the small of his back. While he was far from an expert on equine biology, it didn’t take a genius to figure out his guest was feeling just a bit amorous.

He couldn’t decide if he was aroused or appalled, a fact which certain parts of his anatomy didn’t seem to struggle with. By the grace of some higher power, her hooves rested well away from his groin and the shame which lingered there. Whether or not her grip would shift lower was a matter of debate, though if she did there’d be little he could do to stop her - a fact which exacerbated his anxiety to unfathomable levels.

Confused, scared, and more than a little turned on, Anon swallowed hard. He was stuck with the lass, in more ways than one, and there was nothing he could do about it. Even if she did remember what they’d done, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it; somethings were best left unsaid. Snuggling against her, doing his best to get comfortable, he closed his eyes. If nothing else, napping off the aftereffects of his heavy drinking was better than being awake and miserable.

What she would do, after she finally awakened, was beyond his control, though that was a problem he could eventually deal with later - for the time being, he took an odd comfort from her embrace. Whatever had happened had happened, there was nothing he could do to change the past, so he tried not to worry about it - after all, his situation wasn’t all bad. In the end, something told him he’d made a damn good, albeit peculiar, large, and destructive friend…

Comments

[HorseWordFan]

Mmmm, more of impenetrable accent-horse!

[Some Leech]

10651384
Writing staves off the crippling depression!

[Kirtai]

Oh dear, he's got some explaining to do when she wakes up :)

btw

Sadly for the stear, his hubris was his undoing.

steer

Hopping onto the titanic mare’s, like a sucrose-fueled acrobat

Her what?

[Some Leech]

10651511
Amended

[HorseWordFan]

And this, boys and girls, is why it's ever so important to drink responsibly. Or you too might awaken as a shame-filled little spoon for an absolute unit of a pony.

[Chillean]

Loved these stories
I know it's a bit of a pipe dream, but it would be entertaining for her to meet the princesses (and another foul mouthed scottish bat pone while she's there ).

[Dan]

10651498

It's unfortunate that real haggis is illegal in the US. Apparently lung meat was too icky for some regulator's sensibilities, but heart and kidneys and pancreas and all the shite in American hot dogs are a-okay.

[Some Leech]

10651859
That's why it's helpful to know a butcher or farmer!

[Oh dammit I am back here]

>that coverart
$PONE TO THE MOOOOOON
HODL WITH THOSE DIAMOND HOOVES BROS

[Vaalintine]

Dissapointing. If her trying to rape him at the end of the previous story means so little that its ignored entirely, then there's really no reason to try and set them up. Just have Ord skip right to forcing herself on him and call it a day.

[ArDee]

10652507
GOING ON A TRIP
ON OUR FAVORITE ROCKETSHIP
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

[Fable Caster]

Call me Mr. FedEx, cuz I SHIP IT!

[Dan]

10653265
It's poitín.

[Luna Effect]

Only read chapter 1 and knew I had to add to favorites, so far loving this little series.

[DarkDMan]

You fucking tease! All the clop you write, and we get the drunk-sex-memory-loss?! Boooooo!

Lol! Nice wrap up, though! And thanks for the sequel!
You didn't have to, but I, for one, im glad you did!

So thanks again. Really hope that the writing and positive comments are well received!

[Some Leech]

10654077
I couldn't help myself, she's just too damn fun to write

[Adamastos]

So when is Twilight gonna come back with help? Is Rockhoof gonna show up? Or is Luna gonna intervene? And is Celestia gonna give Anon a hilarious "big sis" lecture for her amusement and for his own good?

[Some Leech]

10654230
Trust me, if I had the time, I could fill a novel with short stories about Nord pony

[Some Leech]

10654475
B...but she's not sitting on a bucket

[echonymph]

I NEEEED MOREEEE

[Aldon]

Great to read about these two again it was really sweet of Anon to worry about Nord and I really doubt Anon actually bedded her since his pelvis and spine are intact....or maybe that was Zecora's plan all along!!

[TheJk]

We should give you the like only for the picture...

[redandready45]

10654269

Nord is the perfect character:

tough, fierce, independent, and yet so naive about the world around her, she becomes lovingly vulnerable.

Nord deserves a Nickelodeon show, dammit!

[Some Leech]

10662623
Aye
I'm positively smitten with her

[Lord BLACKHUNTER]

I finally got some time to read this and loved it. The only thing that I can say that I don't like is the cliff hanger that is the ending. Is there a chance of a 3rd story in the works?

[Some Leech]

10703912
Mayhaps...

[Lord BLACKHUNTER]

10703933
We will keep reading and keep being hooked on your stories. Maybe Zacora gave him a posion that will help him get Nord pregnant. Still I would love to see Lylra get busted for using magic to win that contest and have to pay up.

[Some Leech]

10703941
We'll see!
Nord isn't my pony, so any works with her are done in collaboration with AnonTheAnon

[MisterEdd]

Oh man, that was great! Anon's f***ed now...possibly literally.

[Some Leech]

10891036
Traditional Scottish dish
Innards and oats

[Dan]

10895363
Silence, heretic. If you've had an American hot dog or chicken nugger, you've had far worse.

[Ali della Morte]

I hope there's more of this to come. I like these stories.

[Coretz]

10651363
impenetrable-accent horse*

He penetrated her, but not her accent ;p

10654269
Does Anon still have functional hips?

[Some Leech]

11032873
His hips are now classified as gently used™

[tsaukpaetra]

He simply didn't understand what the potion was for. It wasn't to prevent his memory from being lost, it was to ensure the intoxication wouldn't affect his judgement. He just hasn't accepted on the forefront his budding love.

[alluringming]

Read this and previous one and liked it. Even if i had trouble understanding the mare lol

[StarzGecko]

Is there going to be a sequel? I can imagine Nord getting pregnant and having mood swings that cause ponies to run in panic while Ponyville is on fire 🔥

[Some Leech]

11292593
There may be a sequel at some point, ye

[eiggengrau]

Ah, these were fun

[Pyroau]

11429857
Thank you!

[NaviNautical]

I’m not sure that even having context helps explain the thumbnail. At least I can still read my favorite Nord Pone! Good job Some Leech!