The Disastrous Adventures of Crew-T

by TheMajorTechie

Messing with your characters :)

Author's Note:

[Adult story embed hidden]

Well the characters are really strong and would not appreciate being messed with.

I wonder if they can survive the concept of their existence removed from reality?

Hopefully in another world or they will suck in an erasure loop.

Guess what?

I messed with your characters anyway. :V

"I'm baaaack!" Zoey yelled, reappearing again, this time by quite literally just walking out of the air. Princess Cookieheart looked clearly confused. "And this time, I'm Zoey Wayve!"

"Okay, Miss Wayve, just get on the ship!" Slissa grabbed Zoey by the arm. "We've got a really angry mob surrounding the ship now that we've accidentally destroyed their one source of income, and I'm not about to let myself get toasted over that!"

Zoey proceeded to be unceremoniously yoinked into the ship's hull. The entirety of Crew-T proceeded to lift off, never returning to that specific Equestria again.

---

So anyway, I didn't bother to read more than just the comments and the long description. Might skim some chapters, but eh. Time to judge this book by its cover.

...Oh heck, I found a neato line to yoink.

...

...

Thanks to the magic of timeskips, the ship has once again crash-landed. Blame Emi for distracting Plissa. Again. Also Zoey, who was apparently doing something in the engine room.

So anyway, they're in some weird forest now. Every single one of 'em.

"I hate it here." Butter Knife Butter Knife'd. "Ew. Don't turn me into a verb."

Butter Knife continued to Butter Knife about her life problems as some metal bowling ball from space thing smacked Sweetie Giraffe on the side of the head.

"FEEL PAIN. WHAT HIT?" Sweetie boomed, turning and staring at the metal pod. Also, Sunset Shimmer is there too, except...

The girl bowed “I am Sunset Shimmer, I may look like a child but I am actually sixty years old.”

"HOLY CRAP, ARE YOU A LOLI?!" Zoey gasped. "I thought that wasn't scientifically possible! Dermatologists must hate you!"

The weird monkey baby thing Sunset was holding by the tail coughed, breaking the awkward silence that was the next two and a half seconds.

"So... uh, anyway--" Plissa straightened out the wrinkles in her soot-covered shirt. "We apologize for the crash landing. Some of us don't know that distracted driving is dangerous."

Sunset stared at the ship and the forest fire it created. A tree fell in the distance, though it didn't seem to make a sound.

"Wait, why do we all have airpods?" Emily took the magical airpods out of her ears. "No wonder why the tree didn't make a sound!"

The plot-device airpods vanished from existence once again. Baby monkey gremlin thing that's apparently named Goku started hitting Sunset.

"Fiesty kid you got there." Zoey commented.

The old man named Gohan standing ominously nearby finally stepped closer. "Hungry, too. Here, take this, Sunny."

"Hu--" Sunset turned her head at the perfect moment to get smacked square in the face by a bottle full of milk.

Goku snatched the bottle and swallowed it whole. It is 1:54 in the morning and this is what I'm writing. This is my life now.

So anyway, because the author doesn't want to bother with reading nearly 70,000 words for a trollfic, we are now going to experience a leap forward all the way to the current chapter as of the writing of this: chapter 63!

"HOLY CRAP WHERE DID ALL THESE SMALL CHILDREN COME FROM?!" Zoey screamed as she and the rest of the crew phased into existence.

Sunset Shimmer shushed the girl, returning her attention to the five babies crawling around on the bed like the spiders they are (not).

"Da." One of the babies began, slowly pounding on the bed. "Da. Da. Da. Da. Da. Da."

Vegeta, whoever that guy is, wandered into the room. The rest of the babies now joined into the chant, also pounding in perfect synchronozation.

"DA. DA. DA. DA. DA. DA. DA."

"Uh, Slis?" Emily whispered into her friend's ear. "Why are the babies hovering ominously?"

Butter Knife chuckled, letting the glow of her horn die down along with the chanting.

A woman entered the room.

And now, for another line yoinked straight outta the story!

The female’s eyes narrowed “Disappointing.” Sunset frowned as the woman walked over with the man following behind. The woman looked at Sunset with disdain “I am Marie Winters from Child Services and the man behind me is Jake.”

Jake from State Farm took a quick look around, immediately spotting the entirety of Crew-T, who seemed to be just as confused as he was.

"Okay, so why are you here, then?" Sunset looked at Marie. "And why is Jake from State Farm with you?"

"This is not a suitable place for children to be raised."

"Yeah, no kidding," Jake added. "I mean, five kids to a single bed? This hospital needs to provide some bedding to this poor mother!"

And so they requested extra bedding for all of the kids and then took a nap. The end kthxbai.

The next day, Crew-T finally departed from the strange planet and reality, leaving a raging forest fire in their wake.

Comments

[Dashie04]

What a Chad move.

[Angel Midnight]

I don't know if my brain cells have been melted, fried or toasted. But I have a suggestion. I know you're not about to read the entire story, so here's the silliest possible description I could think of:

A bat pony OC called Moonlight proceeds to completely destroy FiM by helping King Sombra take over the Crystal Empire, falling in love with him and befriending as many villains as possible to wind up Sunbutt. But although she can't decide if she's a Mary Sue or a Villain Sue, she's pretty serious about annoying Sunbutt. Plenty of jokes about being banished to the sun/moon/Tartarus/Limbo/Humanverse/Canterlot Garden of Statues included, because the villains are a bit fed up that this keeps happening to them and they want revenge. Look out, Trollestia.

The story:

[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

[Echo Breeze]

I don't know how this works, but here goes.

An EQG OC who finds her destiny in a very predictable way. She finds love (groan), meets new friends, sorts out family issues.

[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

Melted my braincells a bit seeing this, but I'd love to see this happen.