The Disastrous Adventures of Crew-T

by TheMajorTechie

The dashiest dash of all dashes

Author's Note:

I see that upvote on your comment, EverfreePony.

EDash - like the punctuation?

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Drama
• Slice of Life

Rainbow Dash's name has a far different meaning to it. One that might be enough for the filly to despise a part of herself... and books.

• Rainbow Dash
• Derpy
• Other

EverfreePony · 3.8k words  ·  124  6 · 2.3k views

Filly Rainbow Dash, books, and bad punctuation puns. And yes, that’s a hyphen in the title.

"Where we goin' next?" Slissa draped her arms over the back of the pilot's seat. "There's a lot of places that I wanna go."

"Dash."

"Huh?"

Plissa brushed her counterpart's arms out of her face. "We're going to Dash. Rainbow Dash."

"Dash--like the punctuation?"

"Eyup."

The ship proceeded to crash-land into filly Rainbow Dash's house. Buttered Toaster groaned at the inconvenience. Not like they were actually going anywhere in the first place...

"Dash-" Derpy yelled, "you okay?"

"-" Rainbow Dash answered. How do you pronounce a hyphen, anyway? Teach me your ways, technicolor filly.

"She's not gonna hear you, y'know." I've-Run-Out-Of-Names grumbled. "Also, good. Now you can call me by my real name again."

Fine, Cookie Cutter.

While Butter Knife screamed loud enough to annoy Sweetie Giraffe, Slissa and Emi went to go say hi to Rainbow Dash and interrogate her on how exactly to pronounce a punctuation mark. This chapter is getting stupider by the second.

Most likely by now, it should be obvious that your brain-dead sleep deprivation goblin of an author hasn't taken a look at even a single paragraph from the fic this is supposed to dunk on, and I'm keeping it that way.

So anyway, next on the list is to yeet a new recurring character into this already jam-packed cringefest!

"Hi! I'm Zoey!" Zoey Zoey'd out of the ground--right beneath Dash.

"Ascher?" Plissa raised a brow.

"Nope. Wayve. My dad got arrested for crimes involving selling microwaves. His name is Michael Rowe Wayve. Mike Rowe Wayve for short."

Even Sweetie Giraffe had to facehoof at that pun.

"So... what about Zoey Ascher then, Zoey Wayve?"

"Oh, you want to see her? Sure thing! Lemme just contact the Zoeyverse Council."

Zoey vanished back into the ground, leaving a very confused Rainbow Dash sitting in her place.

"Dashie!" the mare named Windy Whistles that shall be henceforth referred to as 'Rainbow Dash's Mom' shouted from the porch of the house. Wait, do cloud houses even have porches? What would a cloud house porch be made of? Would it be--

"Rainbow, are you making some new friends over there?"

Rainbow Dash looked between her Daring Do book and the heap of eggheads that crash-landed into her house not too long ago. Surprisingly, nopony else seemed to notice the building-sized hunk of metal sticking out of the cloud house. Actually, speaking of which, what is the cloud house itself made o--

"SHUT." Butter Knife cut off the narration. "Enough about cloud houses!"

Fine. No more cloud houses.

All of Cloudsdale proceeded to vanish from existence and everyone began to plummet toward the unforgiving ground.

Butter Knife screamed.

Comments

[EverfreePony]

It’s funny that even if you didn’t read the story, you still somehow ended up thinking about how cloud houses work. I don’t know either, but I’ve played with that idea quite a lot in the story.

I see that upvote on your comment, EverfreePony.

I see two, actually. And I’m honestly surprised by that.

[Zapper Frost]

All of Cloudsdale proceeded to vanish from existence and everyone began to plummet toward the unforgiving ground.

Apparently Cloudsdale itself is just one giant cloud house

[TheMajorTechie]

10754340
yes