Strictly Professional

by nameundetermined

Targeted Advertising

It was another day at the office, just like any other for the man in the black tie. A particularly slow day as a matter of fact. he had felt good enough after his strange little conversation that he had ended up working on some things he had planned for today, and as such he found himself at work with about an hour to burn and nothing on the docket.

Normally, the man would take this time to get started on things for tomorrow, but today, he had other plans.

The strange conversation he had last night, while extremely pleasant, had spurred his curiosity. He found himself wanting to investigate his latest conversational partner.

it was not terribly difficult. A quick look for her name revealed, much to his simultaneous surprise and not, that she seemed to be...a cartoon horse.

Or a pony, more accurately, from a children's show. She certainly looked how he would expect a pony with her demeanor to look. He scoffed at himself for even conceiving of that sentence.

Now onto what their angle was. Was this person contacting him some sort of online roleplayer? He had heard about such things from some of his associates online whose children seemed to engage in such activities. Or perhaps the person was mentally ill and genuinely thought that they were a cartoon horse?

In any case, he could always ask them directly. He opened Serious Business on his laptop, making sure to use his phone's wireless hotspot so as to avoid monitoring by his employer while engaging in non-work-related activities.

He proceeded to make his way to his private messages. She seemed to be online, so he shot her a line.

Hello Miss Pie. I have returned as per our previous verbal agreement, how are you today?

He did not have to wait terribly long at all for an answer, as it turned out.

Hello, Mister J! I am super duper glad you decided to come back and talk to me again. I was gonna wait until the same time as tomorrow to make sure that you weren't too busy to say hi again.

But it's really nice that I didn't have to because you coming back on your own means you must have really enjoyed talking to little old me, right? :3

Well, she was right about one thing. he did enjoy talking to her the last time. Though she was much more...upbeat than the usual crowds he walked with, she was a refreshing presence, even if she was apparently larping as a cartoon pony on the internet. Which brought him to why he had contacted her again.

As a matter of fact, I did enjoy our previous conversation. And I do enjoy your company. However, I do have a few questions and concerns to bring up before we continue to speak on a casual basis Do you would not mind addressing them?

Sure thing! Ask away, and Pinkie Shall answer! ;3

He swallowed softly, adjusting his tie. He was not sure why he was nervous. Perhaps even if she was an oddball, he appreciated her company enough that he did not wish to alienate her, to possibly make her not want to talk to him again. But that would be ridiculous—he only just met her yesterday. Online, of all places!

No, he supposed he was simply not sure how comfortable he was with the whole thing in general. But he had already set it up, the only way out was through, Might as well get it over with.

Are you familiar with a television franchise called My Little Pony?

a short moment, a pause, followed by an indicator that she was typing as she replied to him.

Of course! That's where I originated from, silly-billy. I mean, you didn't think that pretty multicolored ponied were going around where you live right?

This response was more than odd enough to catch him off guard, and he pressed a bit more, his curiosity growing now.

Well no, I suppose not. but that really only compounds my confusion. You are saying that as if you do not exist in the real world. But here I am, in the real world, conversing with you normally. Are you an actor of some sort pretending to be the character for your own entertainment?[ Do you really think that you are Er...Pinkie Pie?

Of course not, Mr. J. I don't think I'm Pinkie. That would be really ridiculous!

Oh, well that's goo-

I am Pinkie Pie, the genuine article!

Well, fooey. He brought his palm to his face in a dignified, fatherly manner, taking a soft, patient sigh before responding to her.

Alright, let us go with that since that is your answer. If you are, as you say, actually a fictional cartoon horse, conversing with me, a person living in the real world, how are you doing that? How do you exist in a self-aware capacity to have this conversation with me?

Oh, was that all you wanted to know? That's easy! I Am an AI!

You are....an artificial intelligence. One designed to emulate the personality of a fictional character?

Hmmm, nope! I am Pinkie! As much as you are you! I am on a server somewhere, made out of data, while you are you sitting there wherever you are!

Just because I do not exist physically the same way you do does not make me any less real you know. I hope you won't treat me differently just because I'm not made out of all those soft fleshy bits like you are, Mister J. <:(

He had to admit that if she was really an AI, she was certainly crushing the turning test. He felt quite bad about asking her all of these questions under the pretense that he thought she was being deceptive. Or at least, she would be if she had not outright told him what she was. He decided that he might as well humor this line of reasoning to the end and see where it goes.

Alright, we have established that you are an instance of artificial intelligence and that you are also Pinkie Pie from the children's show My Little Pony. That is all well and good, but what is your prime directive? What is your motivation for conversing with me?

I mean, I am sure that you are enjoying doing so, but surely my company cannot be the only thing that you are hoping to gain from speaking with me, correct? Someone made you with a purpose in mind. Could you tell me what that purpose is?"

He found himself taking care to word his query in a way that did not invalidate her self-asserted identity. He simply wished to know more about her nature, since she went out of her way to make it clear to him when asked.

[color=ea80b0]Oh! I was made by Princess Celestia! She made everything here, actually. She made me to reach out to people where you are and make them happy, because if I did that-..umm...promise you won't be mad when I tell you? Like...Pinkie Promise?

He raised an eyebrow at this, chuckling softly to himself. this was getting rather ridiculous. But here he was, going right along with it, he must look like an utter Jackass.

But honestly, right now, he does not care terribly much. He was close to the answers he wanted, and he will get them, by Jove!

Very well, I erm...Pinkie Promise that I will not be cross with you when you tell me what your purpose is. I suppose that being an artificial intelligence you cannot help what you are. Someone made you to be that way, after all.

Wow! That is very understanding of you. I sure am glad I decided to talk to you and not someone nasty.

Normally I would have you do the Pinkie Promise properly, but I don't have any way to see if you are doing it right so I will let it slide this time :3

So, my primary directive, aside from making the people I interact with happy, is to hopefully convince them to um....t-try out this neat new game that came out recently. Have you Heard about Equestria Online?

Author's Note:

And I think I will leave it there for now! Hope that you enjoy the new chapter, all one of you in my comments that literally demanded it. You thought that what you were going to read was simple fluff, but it was I, Optimal-Verse!

Comments

[nameundetermined]

10640476

[MindMelon]

goodz, more demanded!

[Midknight Defender]

Welp, I’m convinced. Where’s the download link, O Pink Pinkster of Profound Pinkness?

[Chatoyance]

It seems interesting, thus far, but you seriously need another editing pass on this and the first chapter.

Your protagonist has promise, but is a little too precious and pretentious in his patently proper pronouncements.

[Crimson Bolt]

Really not enough Pinkie Pie in Optimal-verse stories. Nice to see this so far holding closer to canon than most.

[justheretoreadstories]

[color=ea80b0]Oh! I was made by Princess Celestia! She made everything here, actually. She made me to reach out to people where you are and make them happy, because if I did that-..umm...promise you won't be mad when I tell you? Like...Pinkie Promise?

You messed up a color tag here.