• Member Since 11th Mar, 2018
  • offline last seen 48 minutes ago

Whirl Hoof


Life isn't always kind. But you can be.

T

The search for life outside Earth, whether past or present, has been long and arduous. Some called it pointless, a waste of money, effort and time. Some called for it to stop, seeing no results.

Today, proto-colonist Amanda Chorol has discovered the remnants of life on Mars.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 105 )

I am interested in seeing you take this further. To know what happened in the final days of Equis to become what it apparently is now, would be really interesting.

I am just excited to read more. So...you do you...

Nothing worse, then being the last one to survive.

Love the whole Idea here and the mystery behind it.

I honestly would love it to see the build up with Twilight and the colonists, as bits and pieces start to connect with what happened with equiss, as that adds to the mystery of it all, which I'm a sucker for.

But it's entirely up to you mate. :twilightsmile:

I’d love to see more. This is such a cool concept and there’s so much you could do with it.

Comment posted by Edmund_the_brony deleted August 24th

Hey man that's a really great story. Please do more

I have not enough words to express how much I like to read more of this work.

(Note: this story isn't exactly the most realistic towards Mars colonization, in favor of entertainment.)

So the suspension of disbelief?

Give more. Also, where Twilight

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Thank y'all for the feedback! I'm already writing the next chapter as we speak; it'll come out to three total. The one posted, one for the immediate aftermath, and one showing what happened to lead to Purple Smart being in that pod. :raritywink:


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I suppose SoD applies to FiM automatically, so my note was kinda redundant. :rainbowlaugh:


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Er... she was the one in the pod.

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Sorry lol brain dead lemme reread

edit: reread it my brain was stupid and didn't register purple horse as Twilight

Um, I have a question.

Will there be some kind of language barrier thingy?

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You'll find out in the next chapter. :trollestia:

Spoiler: Yes, there is.

Neg

This is a really interesting concept! I'm curious (and a wary) to know what happened to Equus and its peoples, as well as if there were any other survivors. The latter seems highly unlikely, but hey. (Also, I notice a curious absence of pegasi remains; changelings, I could see, bc it's debatable whether or not they even have bones, being insectoid creatures; what happened to the pegasi, though? Or have they just not been found yet? Because I've noticed an absence of some of the more strange creatures from beyond Equestria, too, like those weird shark dudes and lizard people and Abyssinians, and ofc the harpies (aka the parrot pirate people). Granted, that's a lot of species, so it's expected that they might not have found them all... Also, a possible concept for changelings: of all the species on Equus, they are the most likely to be able to survive a slow decay, seeing as they can shapeshift, and sustain themselves mainly through the love that they have for each other; adaptation is literally the name of the game, so is it possible to find them around somewhere still?)

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Thank you!

The reason I didn't list off pegasi remains, Abyssians, etc, is because I figured readers would get annoyed if I listed off 60 different skeletons being found. I think just saying that remains of known MLP species were discovered is enough to get the point across; you can extrapolate that they also found pegasi, Earth Pony, and other corpses. I just didn't include it for the sake of brevity.

Neg

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Ah, fair enough! You had listed off quite a lot so I was a lil confused, is all. If you'd listed off every one it'd probably take up the bulk of the story, hue.

Holy Mother of Intrigue, Flat-man! This has me very, very interested. (Added to Ongoing Favorites.)

"On another note, I originally intended this chapter to be the only one, but I'm also tempted to do one showing the slow decay of Equus, and another (in no particular order) showing Twilight meeting the Mars colonists and... well, I have no clue."

Some writers would enjoy writing chapters that alternate between the first option (time period or era) and the second. Maybe sometimes it's harder to make that work really well though? The decision is up to you, isn't it?

this is a fantastic oneshot, but this could easily be a whole fic, hot damn, I love it.

Can't wait for next chapter

Point of order, they are the aliens. Not the pony. :P

I think its a good idea to not show the Equestrian side of things, at least not now. Let us learn along with the researchers.

I like the touch you added about there being a cadaver like her but twice as big, was a good setup for further trauma.:twilightoops:

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Yeah, I'm sure Twilight will have words to say about their terms for her. :rainbowlaugh:


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That's the plan. I'm a sucker for "humans are confused as heck about ponies" stuff, and having Mars be (or at least host) Equestria was perfect for it.


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:trollestia:

The humans think we are the aliens? How dare they! Equestria is the true world, Earth is the alien planet.

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And why do they keep calling it Mars? Its name is 'Equus'! Stupid humans. :twilightangry2:

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I agree. They'll know the folly of their mistakes when they find what we left behind...

I wonder if others survived. Twilight was in her pod, but there must have been other hibernation rooms around Equus.
I could see her trying to terraform mars. Or maybe now that she has time, some time travel to prevent the calamity... Maybe not enough time for that if this is truly only a 3-chapter fic though.

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Honestly, it being only 3 chapters is very wobbly. It was originally intended as a one-shot, but now I have no clue.

I do have certain scenes in mind, but no concrete word or chapter estimate.

:twilightsmile: Welcome to my world, Take me to your Hasbro ☣
:twilightsheepish: Buy our toys ☢
:twilightoops: Hear the song of my ponies 🎼 My Little Pony Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ahhhhh 🎶
:facehoof: To Serve Pony
:moustache: Puny Humans Spike smash

"That wasn't even considering alien microbes."

Fun fact, infection actually requires EXTREMELY specific evolution, so the virus can bind to your proteins etc. A true alien's microbes would likely be harmless to us, and their removal could actually harm it (remove human skin microbes and you risk infection)

"We've only seen one other instance- in a cadaver, of course"

CELESTIA NOOOOOOOOOO (hopefully Luna survived >.> Dreams of ponies, hmmm...)

The explorer shifted in place. "Is that... a good idea? If it wakes up, won't it think we're experimenting or... dissecting it?"

Twi's a fan of science, so hopefully she won't be too freaked out about waking in a room with aliens being all gloved up etc. Especially if she isn't strapped down.

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:rainbowderp: If you wanted to write more, i'd definitely be excited to read it. The restoration of Equus, the rescue of other ponies... Possibly an attempt to reverse the whole calamity with time magic... I would be hyped! (And I like to comment on every new chapter that I read, if you like that :pinkiecrazy:)

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I imagine being brought directly in front of a living alien would muddy the minds of even highly educated peeps.

:trollestia:

I guess we'll have to wait and see (even though I know :trollestia:)

I always appreciate a stalker.

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It's a common misconception, but it's a good excuse for him not realizing instantly :twilightblush:

Take your time writing. It's better too have an update that is well-written than one that is not, but was released quickly.

oh boy, can't wait for the rest :D

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pretty much, if this planet is billions of years older, then technically it is

This, this I like. Congrats. Looking forward to more.

And now we discover if there's a language barrier.

Liking it so far.

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I am ashamed to say your user made me lol.

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Well maybe time travel couldn't prevent it... But whatnot before the calamity a rash of "disappearances" happened and Twilight was behind them?

I do hope there where other emergency cryo pods and Twilight isn't alone. It's already implyed Celestia or Luna didn't make it. The pony species could be restored of there is a significant hibernating populace somewhere. Or Twilight could resort to "abducting" ponies from the past who vanished under "unexplained" circumstances.

At least this kind of xenomorph will only latch onto you to hug you.

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A facehugger if you like.

Ahhh, language barriers! As far as 'where they are', the solar system probably hasn't changed tooo dramatically from Twilight's time. Drawing the sun and small circles for mercury etc - with a larger one for jupiter - would probably be enough to give her some indication that, yes, she's still on "mars" - and humans came from earth.

Still, the horror of the situation has yet to set in. She probably thinks that humans are some evolution of - idk, dragons, diamond dogs? - who survived, and are moving to collect the survivors. The sheer time she's been in stasis... She'd have no idea.

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Gahahaha! News is definitely gonna travel quick...

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Truly a terrifying beast of ferocity and power.


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Knowing Twilight, she either realized immediately and has kept herself distracted to not freak out, or will only realize it when it's extremely blatant.

"What kind of horrific climate catastrophe caused your arms to shrink so much, lose your claws, and replace scales with skin? Did Pinkie Pie find the dev console again?"

I appreciate that you are showing how some times bad thing's happen. And no one is really to blame and I am on board for the realization for dear Twilight. I hope you really flesh out the horror of it. And that she can feel the horror of it.

I mean what is the correct response to that.

Also...and a thought...I kind of imagine at times she may find herself unknowingly cold to her new...allies? After all it must have been a million's of year's to that end. It seem's resonable that she would find herself depressed even if she wants to know what happen's, ya?

Further, you could have the sunset trigger memory's of her friend and that could lead to a realization on what happen's?

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