Fancy Pants is Canterlot's number one citizen, but no one is exactly sure why - not that it matters, the elite only care about the 'who'. Most ponies are oblivious to the true nature of Fancy Pants' station - Luna's top covert agent, an unsung hero of his nation. This is the story of Fancy Pants, On Their Majesty's Secret Service, following the events of "Sweet and Elite".
Update 1/13/2016: I have revised some of the dialogue, particularly Princess Luna's. Specifically, I removed my pseudo-olde English crap to lend more consistency to her voice throughout.
Feedback is the only thing that will ever improve my writing. Please criticize me, tell me what you don't like, and how you would have done it differently. I promise I will not be offended.
Hmm... Good first chapter and definitely some potential here, tracking
Wow. I was so impressed by this story. The thing that stuck out to me was the clear-cut descriptions of the action and the characters. It made it quite the enjoyable read. It was a bit overdone at the beginning of the story, but that wasn't so bad. I'm looking forward to what you add to this. You get a like and a follow.
Why am I getting a James Bond feeling here
Good story here
Eh man. This is really brilliant. If I could give you 10 thumbs up for this, I would. Completely error free as far as I can tell, and every word meant something important. You're a beautifully concise writer. I am tracking the SHIT out of this.
Aw man, this is SO SICK. I'm like a filly on Hearth's Warming morning here, man. This is the GREATEST pseudo-James Bond crossover ever. Of all time.
Whoo hoo! I'm loving this
Very well written. Scenery, characters, everything is done excellently. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this.
During the alleyway fight scene... I've seen enough hentai I've seen enough hentai I've seen enough hentai I've seen enough hentai...
Alright, I'm kidding. Haha, loved it when they stopped fighting so Rarity wouldn't notice.
One thing that bugged me was that it should be the "Wonderbolts Derby" or "Wonderbolts' Derby" if you still want it to be possessive. Having the apostrophe before the 'S' makes it "The Derby which belongs to one Wonderbolt". Some other minor typos I saw, mostly with "it's" and "its" - remember, the possessive version of the word does NOT use an apostrophe. For example, The universe burst at its seams. If you're using "it's" then it MUST be a contraction, ex: The universe, it's shaped exactly like the earth.
I'm sure you already knew all that and just didn't properly proofread in your rush - sorry if this comment seems like it's insulting your intelligence
Anyhow, this is another great chapter, though I would have liked the chase scene to go on for a little bit longer - you do it so well, my brain says MOAR!
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Geh... tentacles.
Indeed, I had little time to proofread, I felt I'd delayed the chapter's release twice already, and I must admit I rushed the last scene. I don't think I'll be trying to set specific dates anymore.
Thank you for catching the errors, I THINK I've corrected all the ones you pointed out. Starting work on number 3.
1272800 Excellent, glad I could help, etc.
Also, don't worry so much about due dates, at this stage in the game you're writing for fun, and to improve. You don't (yet) have hungry legions of fans to please (except me, of course
) and so you might as well just take your time and make it as good as it can be.
Now, get to work, my brother. I will be ready when you are.
I can tell (especially from the title) that Bond is a big influence fire this fic. But what bond would you place fancy as?
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If I had to pick one, I'd have to go with Craig, but Fancypants is his own character. Being a pony, he has different character elements, and I still had to take his portrayal in the show into account. In my humble opinion, Craig is the most well-rounded Bond, combining the traits that made Sean Connery so popular while being a character we can relate to, with raw emotions and yes, a number of issues, and I'd like Fancypants to be a similar mix of human (or equine) and badass. The comingtopassness of this goal is still up in the air, but I will do my best to fulfill it.
Daniel Craig is BestBond.
1284549 it would be fitting. Your right when you say craig is best Bond and that's cool since Fancypants is best stallion
Here via recommendation, and glad I came. The first paragraph alone made me sit up and take notice; I don't think one writer in twenty would invest enough in their worldbuilding to give Fillydelphia an epithet or offhoofedly mention the magelights. Also, promising premise and great action. The descriptions run a little florid for my personal taste, but I'll be looking forward to reading more!
(... sometime later. November is a little crazy 'round here.
)
And....cue intro theme!
This is the thing I think of when I think of an intro for this.
At the risk of expending my quota of promises, I am actually still working on this. A teaser, to whet thine appetites and hopefully keep you interested.
"...the socialite ignored them, his eyes focused on a trailing of blood running down one of the jagged edges of a forcefully retired wall and weaving away towards the back of the factory. He pursued the crimson guide, still a bit unsteady on his hooves, and presently emerged from the disaster area on the far side. There he found the body of a unicorn rescuepony, a young green stallion, barely out of colthood, stripped of his hardhat and barding, his neck twisted at a disturbingly impossible angle. A set of bloody hoofprints traveled a bit further before being blotted out by the soot and dirt of the factory floor."
1717626 You tease mr. suffix. When can we expect it?
Nice to see this being continued and awesome chapter!
CHANGELING!
Yay! It's being updated again!
Thank you for bringing a little more epic secret agent Fancy Pants into our lives.
It brings a little joy to my heart as well. Thanks for coming back, everypony.
Ahhhhhhh please make this a regular thing. You've proven I can still really get engaged in a good fan fiction. Uh, one error was "Thou thy recreation..." should have been "though thy recreation..." Which is of course not at all an issue, just thought you might appreciate it being pointed out.
2544951 Found and corrected! I shall try my utmost to continue producing good work to keep you engaged. Thanks again for your kind words.
Well worth the wait :D
Does this story have one-liners in it?
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And how long you've waited. Thanks for coming back!
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Occasionally I try, but they probably fall flat. Humor is not my forte; whenever I attempt it I'm embarrassed by how hammy it feels.
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You're quite welcome, this is one of those that I've been hoping got continued/finished and it was worth the wait :)