Prologue: Just another day in Equestria...
In the land of Equestria, another day rose. The newly emerged sun peaked over the sharp mountain range in the distance and the day was calm and peaceful like many days in the land of Equestria.
The Grand capital of Equestria, Canterlot, overlooked large swaths of land that were shadowed by the large mountain of Mt. Canterhorn and slowly the city began to wake up as many ponies began to prepare for the day.
Stood on a balcony, of a large castle, was a mighty and majestic being with a coat of pure white, a long floating ethereal-like mane and tail, a pair of marvelous wings, and a long spiral horn. There stood the ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia.
As Celestia finished raising the sun and lowering the moon she looked at the disfigured moon as it slowly descends out of sight past the mountain range. Her face contorted into one of great guilt and shame. Ohh... Luna. Why did you have to suffer for my arrogance? Please... forgive me.
Celestia sat on the balcony for a few moments as her eyes began to shine with barely held back tears as the memories of the past began to haunt her again. Eventually, she was able to regain some of her strength and headed back through the balcony doors to her bedroom, shutting them shortly after.
Celestia took in a deep breath, still shaken up about her recent incident before she looked around her private chambers and saw her massive canopy bed that could probably hold three alicorns her size. It had pure white transparent drapes, red covers, and blankets, also imprinted on the sheets was her cutie mark.
On either side of her bed were nightstands, both of which also had her cutie mark emblazed on them, they were also outlined with gold trimming.
On the opposite side of the room from where she stood were a pair of double doors that lead to her, frankly, oversized bathroom with its equally ridiculously sized bath, that covered half of the room which also had a miniature waterfall of all things.
On the right side of the room, opposite to her bed, were another pair of doors that lead down a set of stairs to her office/lounge/nap room/tearo… well she liked to call it her “everything room”.
The only other things of note were a few windows with their curtains opened which let in her sunlight, as well as a room divider that blocked the view of her large custom wardrobe which held some of her dresses for events and her royal regalia.
As Celestia looked at the room divider she remembered why she had to close off her wardrobe from the rest of the world. Many years ago some... overeager paparazzi managed to take some unwanted photos of her while she was preparing for the day. The news, like it, always does, completely blew the whole affaire out of proportion, the whole thing became the talk of Canterlot and for a few weeks there were hundreds of rumors, conspiracy theories, and the trial and well... she decided to get a room divider a few days later.
Celestia then made her way to the wardrobe she used her magic to open a secure glass case embedded in the center of the wardrobe. She brought out her golden crown with a diamond-shaped amethyst in the center, a golden peytral with another identical gem in the center, and her golden slippers all of which previously sat neatly on a few pillows at the bottom of the case.
Celestia then began the process of putting on her regalia, applying her makeup, and making sure she was properly groomed before she stood before her mirror in full glory. She then made her way to the doors that led out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and to her “everything room”.
When Celestia entered her “everything room” she looked around in likely the one room she spent most of her time in, while not on her throne.
When she looked at the right side of the room she saw her, very much overused, large mahogany desk and the once bright golden trimmings were now dull and worn-out. On of the desk was an awaiting avalanche full of pending documents, personal letters, and royal requests from brownnosers, most of which were likely about personal gain. It waited sadistically there almost like it was waiting for her to spend untold hours reading and signing them all.
Celestia politely ignored her coming responsibility as she looked at either side of her desk and at the two large windows that allowed her gentle sun to illuminate the room.
In one of the corners of the room sat a grand fireplace with a blazing fire roaring in it, likely lit by one of the castle maids, and sat next to it was a low cabinet that held many of her knick-knacks that she had collected over her lifetime.
Sat in front of the fireplace was an oval-shaped cushioned rug with a small sitting table at the center and on the table was one of her many tea sets ready for use.
On the opposite side of her desk stood a pair of grand polished wooden doors, this was the entrance to her little fortress of solitude.
The few other things of note in her “everything room” were a few exotic plants that may or may not have been late-night snacks for when she had those particularly rough nights. There were also some small portraits or boxes that held a few pictures and mementos of old friends that had long since passed away.
One of those pictures, one of her most cherished ones, sat at the head of her desk. It was a photo of a young Cadence snuggled up next to her at the center of the maze in the royal gardens, they were sat underneath a large oak tree. It was one of the few times she was able to simply enjoy being in another's company without having to worry about Equestria or some disaster.
Celestia sighed as she knew she was stalling but with one last aggravated grunt, she headed to possibly her oldest "friend", her desk as well as the horrible fate that her "friend" carried paperwork.
As she reached her desk she put one of her hooves on the old worn surface before she smiled down at it, “Well, I suppose we meet again old friend... *sigh* It seems we have yet another long day ahead of us,” after the princess finished she proceeded to get into the worn-out cushioned seat she had used for who knows how many years.
She then prepared herself for the monotony of paperwork, nobles, paperwork, sitting, and even more paperwork.
But, just as Celestia started to shift through the papers, there was a knock at the door, “Your Highness, it is Raven. May I come in?” Raven dutifully announced.
"Yes, you may enter,” Celestia announced, the doors shortly after were pushed open and the pony who slipped in was none other than Raven Inkwell, her assistant.
Raven was a unicorn mare with a snow-white coat and a black mane and tail, both of which were in an adorable bun. Around her neck was her cute little collar with its red cloth necktie, she also had on a big pair of glasses, finally, her cutie mark was, ironically, an inkwell with a quill above it.
As Celestia looked at her dutiful assistant, she couldn't help but reminisce about how much Raven had changed since she first became her personal assistant. Oh, how nervous she first was and how stiff she was around her; but now Raven is one of her closest friends and most trusted adviser.
“Ahh, Raven. It is so good to see you. So how is the schedule today?” Celestia asked as she hoped she had one of her few “light” days.
“Hello, your majesty. Let's see… for today you have morning court from eight to ten. Then you have a meeting with your general cabinet at twelve-thirty… Ah! Then the School for Gifted Unicorns has its entry tests for the next school year. They wanted to know if you wished to observe the student potentials. Finally, you have evening court from four to six,” Raven finished as she looked up from her trusty clipboard, which was held in her red magical aura.
“I see. Thank you for informing me, Raven” - to which Raven nodded - “Now, could you please send a letter to the school and inform them that I do wish to observe the potential students,” Celestia didn't know why but she had a feeling something big was going to happen at the school.
“Of course, your Majesty. I will inform them immediately,” after Raven finished she gave a small bow.
Celestia nodded in appreciation at her assistant before she began to go through the mountain of paperwork she had been avoiding.
Raven quietly left the room, dutifully going to complete her duties.
-{<()>}-
Celestia quickly opened the doors from one of the many conference rooms in the castle and as the chatter of ponies from the conference room become more distant Celestia slightly drops her princess mask. With a sigh, she quickened her pace through the halls of the castle as she, hopefully, would be able to make it to at least see some of the new students.
As Celestia made her way through the halls she can’t help but be aggravated as to why she was late in the first place. Why did that meeting have to go on for so long!? Just because somepony calls you a mule face DOESN'T give you the right to bring back executions, JUST so you can properly deal with them! AND IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE ARGUED FOR OVER AN HOUR THAT THEY'RE AN EXCEPTION!
Celestia stopped and proceed to do her breathing exercise, after a few moments she managed to calm herself down and reacquire her princess mask. Those kinds of meetings always seem to affect me, *sigh* I love my little ponies, but sometimes they can be so…infuriating.
After a few more moments she continued her way down the hall and as she made her way to the tests her worry for being late increased. I hope I'm not too late. I love to see what the next generation can bring to Equestria.
After a few minutes, Celestia had made it to the royal gardens where she could now see her goal. One of the castles towers that the school was using for the test. Once she saw her goal Celestia quickened her pace to tower, at least that was until there was a sudden boom.
Celestia jumped slightly and instantly lit her horn in a bright golden glow as she prepared herself for any dangers. As she looked up she saw a massive rainbow... pulse? Fly through the sky and as it passed over her she felt a strong concertation of harmony magic accompany it.
But as the rainbow passed over Celestia she can’t help but freeze in place as she felt one of her runes, a very old rune, go off in a place that nopony should ever be able to get to. What! But that’s impossible for that rune to go off!?... The only reason it would go off is if-. Celestia was pulled out of her thoughts when a huge purple dragon crashed through the roof of a nearby tower, the same tower that the school was using for the student's tests.
Celestia pushed the thoughts about the rune to the back of her mind, for now. The rune can be checked later. I need to help my little ponies! Celestia’s horn began to glow brighter as she charged up a teleportation spell and as soon as she finished she disappeared in a bright flash.
A few moments later Celestia appeared in a room and the first thing she noticed was an eerie black "mist" with almost miniature purple lightning going off in it. But what worried Celestia more was how this "mist" started to destroy the room and even worse it was spreading! Fast! Celestia's eyes began to widen in terror as she realized how bad this situation was. This is very bad! Whatever caused this mist is destroying the room! I need to stop this before it reaches the rest of the CASTLE! Celestia looked around the room for any ponies that could be in danger.
Celestia saw a few teachers huddled together in a corner as they desperately powered a shield to try and hold off the black "mist", they were not doing well as their shield was flickering. She also noticed that on a stand was the large purple dragon she saw earlier, though only the bottom half, around the dragon was what looked like eggshells. But what caught Celestia's eye was a small unicorn filly with a black-purple mane and tail, an almost pitch black fur, and a space-themed cutie mark, if she had to guess a black hole. She was also in the middle of one of the most powerful surges that Celestia had seen in centuries.
Celestia shook off her shock and made her way toward the filly. Luckily the "mist" that the filly was producing during her surge wasn't as effective on her thanks to her alicornhood, but even still it stung quite a bit and caused her to slow down. After a few agonizing moments, she had finally made it to the surging filly. Celestia quickly put her horn on the fillies and began to contain the young unicorn's surge.
After a few moments, the surge started to end and the "mist" slowly dissipated until finally it fully dispursed. Soon after the dragon started to shrink down to the size of a foal until he was no bigger than the shell fragments around him. Meanwhile, the teachers dropped their shields and ran out of the room, likely leaving before anything worse could happen.
Celestia let out a sigh of relief and looked over at the filly that was exhausted on the ground, she then laid down next to the drained foal. Once there she began to check the foal over with a few scanning and healing spells, to see if she was hurt during her surge.
Shortly after the filly started to wake up from her surge and when she opened her eyes she looked blankly around the room until she caught the large form of the Celestia laid down next to her.
A pregnant silence shortly followed until the filly blurted out.
"OHMYGOSHPRINCESSI’MSOSORRYIWASDOINGMYMAGICTHENEVERYTHI-,” Celestia stopped the filly as she put one of her hooves over her mouth, the filly looked down at her hoof before her adorable eyes looked up at her.
“It is all right, my little pony. None of this was your fault, the only thing I’m worried about is if you're alright. You did have quite a big surge there,” Celestia looked down at the foal with concern.
“Oh... yes. Yes, I’m alright, Princess... sorry” the foal mumbled.
“It’s alright little one, but that was quite an impressive surge. What is your name, my little pony?” Celestia asked with a motherly smile. She is quite powerful for her magic to have such a powerful surge... maybe even powerful enough to be a bearer.
“Oh! I'm so sorry, Princess! My name's Centa Void,” the newly named Centa Void answered.
“Well Centa, that was a remarkable display of magic. Now, where are your parents? They should know you're safe now,” As soon as Celestia finished the filly’s expression changed from her adorable sheepish excitement to a very pained look, Celestia immediately regretted her question.
“Umm… Princess I-II don-t have paren-*sniff*-ts they, they…..” Centa’s mumbles became incoherent as her eyes began to water.
Celestia quickly unfurled one of her wings and wrapped it around the sad little filly, before she pulled her close to her chest, Oh you poor foal.
“Shh. Shh, it's alright,” and so the two ponies sat in the damaged room in silence.
After a few moments, Centa had calmed down enough that Celestia could ask her another question, hopefully not one so... disastrous. “If it's not too tough. Could you tell me where you've been living?” Celestia asked as she hoped that Centa at least had somewhere to sleep.
Centa had finally calmed down enough to answer her question, “Well, Princess. I've been staying at the Canterlot Orphanage for as long as I could remember. I... uh, I've always wanted to go to your School for Gifted Unicorns. So I decided to try and pass the test, but I guess I messed that up now,” Centa once again began to tear up again, Celestia was gonna have none of that.
She quickly brought out her other wing up to wipe away the newly formed tears under Centa’s lilac eyes. She then said, “There's no need to cry Centa, and as I said, from what I saw it was quite impressive for a pony so young to have such a powerful surge. I see much potential in you Centa. How would you like to become my personal student?”
Centa was flabbergasted by Celestia’s offer, but before she could say anything Celestia held up a hoof, “Before you choose, you would also be able to live in my castle with me and have access to the royal archives to help with your studies. So, what do you say?” she finished with a warm grin.
Centa’s body went rigid from shock and Celestia was a little worried that she may have gone a little far, but that quickly changed when Centa's face was overwhelmed with happiness. Centa then quickly jumped onto Celestia as she tried in vain to wrap her tiny hooves around Celestia's barrel, at the same time she began to feverishly nuzzle Celestia as tears of joy ran down her cheeks.
“YES! YES! YES! YES! PLEASE! I PROMISE TO BE THE BEST STUDENT THERE EVER WAS!” Centa shouted, Celestia, laughed at her new student’s enthusiasm before she returned the little fillies nuzzle.
She couldn't wait to start her student's training. It had been centuries since her last student and Celestia had a feeling this one would be very special. Even with this joy Celestia couldn't help but feel like she was missing something else important.
-{<()>}-
The rest of Celestia’s day was a flurry of activity with her getting her new student moved out of the orphanage and into one of the rooms of the castle, having to figure out what to do with the baby dragon, and trying to fix the other magical anomalies that were caused by that magic rainbow pulse, and whatever caused it.
To put it simply, today was not one of her “light” days as she had hoped. Celestia worked on these projects long into the day and was forced to cancel evening court.
When everything was finished Celestia was exhausted and as she brought her head up from her desk after she completed the last of her work, she looked at a clock on the wall and saw that it was time to set the sun and raise the moon.
After Celestia completed her celestial duties she had planned to lay on her bed and read that story she had been into for the last few days, but she had a nagging feeling at the back of her mind. That was when she realized that she had forgotten something, The Rune.
Celestia's body went rigid at the realization and a mental battle started in her mind. It’s impossible for her to be free! Right?! But why did the rune go off? It would only go off if somepony got in or... if she really was released... Celestia bit her lip as she desperately tried to come up with a solution. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to check on the rune and it has been a while since I last visited her. With Celestia's mind made up, she lit her horn and the room was filled with a flash of light before she disappeared from her quarters.
She soon reappeared in a room that was only accessible through teleportation, she made sure that there was no other way in.
As Celestia looked around the room she didn't notice anything new with the cobwebs and dust everywhere, the only thing of true interest was the large old stone door with the... familiar mark engraved onto it. It was a six-pointed star with three smaller stars around it, once Celestia saw the image her heart ached at the memory of her.
To the naked eye, it would seem like an ancient forgotten room that was abandoned long ago, but this door and the room beyond had some of the most powerful and dangerous runes Celestia knew.
Celestia steadied her nerves and made her way to the stone door, her horn began to glow as she deactivated the hidden runes placed on it. As soon as she was sure that the runes were deactivated she wrapped her magic around the stone and began to move it, but even with her alicorn magic she partially struggled to move the stone behemoth. After she moved the ancient door, with a few moments for her to catch her breath, she looked into the room ready for the pain to follow. But what she saw caused her to become petrified and for the blood to drain from her face.
The room was mostly empty and very clean, she did come here every year to clean the tomb. There were also many burnt-out candles throughout the room, each one was for a year that had passed.
On the walls, there were carvings of an alicorn in different positions and each one told a story.
Finally, there were glowing purple crystals that hung throughout the room some were from the walls while others were from the ceiling, they easily lit the room in a purple glow.
At the center of the room was a pedestal with dark venomous purple crystal fragments scattered around it. While at the center of the pedestal lay a pony that Celestia hadn't ever thought she'd see again, somepony Celestia loved with all her heart.
On the pedestal layed a purple pony with a pink, purple, and dark blue mane and tail, she also had both wings and a horn, and the pony was adorned in old armor though it looked considerably damaged. Her cutie mark meanwhile was exactly like the one on the stone door but there was a smaller white star overshadowed by the main magenta star, the three little stars were also white.
Before Celestia the Mighty Princess of the Sun, the Sole Ruler of Equestria, and one of the only alicorns on Equis. Was Celestia’s younger sister, Twilight. The same Twilight that had been imprisoned in a crystal tomb for over a thousand years.
As her shock faded away her body was flooded with happiness, concern, fear, hope, and dread for her now released sister and at that moment there was only one thing that she could think to say.
“TWWWWIIIIIIILLLIIIGGGHHHHTTTTTTT!”
To put it simply Celestia’s night wasen't over.
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Really good start look forward to reading more
hmm...
Hmm...?
HMMM!!!
Well, onto the actual comment, the first thing I notice when coming here were the paragraphs. They're quite long. They should be broken up into topics, and after a moment, I could see some ways of breaking some of them up.
The second thing I noticed was the dialogue. You can have quotes end with nothing, the need to end with a comma, period, exclamation mark, or question mark. And there were some other problems I saw with the dialogue, but so far everything can be cleared up with this guide. The paragraphing and dialogue section are the ones I recommend.
And from the criticism to my thoughts
First off, I haven't read past chapter one yet, but I hope Twilight doesn't burn anything in Celestia's 'everything room.'
Anyways, this is quite a unique story, there aren't many AU stories that do more than add to the world. It'll be interesting seeing where this will go. Normally I'm not too big a fan of AU, which might be because the AU is mostly headcanon which isn't told to the readers leaving somethings completely unknown, or it might just be me being weird. Either way, I have one last thing to say. 'Three Sisters...' AU is that Twilight, Luna, and Celestia are sisters... I wonder where Cadence is...
EDIT:
The third thing I've noticed is the emotional scenes, the characters one moment are sitting, and the next bursting their eyes open. While context clues are enough to filling vaguely what's going on, to me at least, doesn't really capture the full scope of the emotions of the characters.
Whenever I myself am in a similar position to her, I tend to go quiet and think in my mind for a long while and might need a few moments to recompose myself. The way it's described feels a bit fasted pasted. When I write out a scene like that, I try to drag it out a bit, to fully encompass the emotions passing through them.
Though that's all just my opinion, it might be different for someone else.
Twily is Celestia’s sis?
I was wondering where Twilight was before I got to the end of the chapter
BEST STUDENT THERE EVER WAS
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Teach Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (It's you and me)
I know it's my destiny,
Pokemon! Oh you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (A heart so true)
Our courage will pull us through,
You teach me and I'll teach you,
Pokemon! Gotta catch'em all, (gotta catch 'em all!)
Yeah!
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me,
The time is right,
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight!
It's always been our dream!
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (It's you and me)
I know it's my destiny,
Pokemon! Oh you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (A heart so true)
Our courage will pull us through,
You teach me and I'll teach you,
Pokemon! Gotta catch'em all, (gotta catch 'em all!)
Gotta catch'em all!
Gotta catch'em all!
Gotta catch'em all! Yeah!
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (It's you and me)
I know it's my destiny,
Pokemon! Oh you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all! (A heart so true)
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you,
Pokemon! Gotta catch'em all