This Piece Of Me

by The Sleepless Beholder

I Don’t Want To Lose It

The alarm clock pounded Pinkie’s head, raising her of an eight-hour sleep that felt like she only slept less than an hour. She sluggishly tapped the counter and by some miracle coordinated enough motor functions to stop the blaring attack on her senses.
The mare rose from her bed, taking deep breaths to start the day as best she could, going to the small bathroom in her room to brush her teeth. After finishing, she looked at herself in the mirror.
Messy deflated mane, bags under her eyes, and an expression that was simply unbelievable in the overly cheery mare. With a deep breath, Pinkie forced a smile on her face, and her mane puffed up a bit more. “Be positive. Make ponies happy. That’s what you do. That’s what you love.”

“'Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile. Yes, I do. It fills my heart with sunshine all the while. Yes it does.” She sang to herself as she walked to the stairs. “’Cause all I really need's a smile, smile, smile.” She continued as she descended the steps, already wanting to just go back to bed. “From these happy friends of mine.”
After what felt like an eternity, Pinkie arrived at the bottom of the stairs, and once again she took deep breaths to steel herself for the day, something that had become a routine in the past days.

“Good Morning sleepyhead,” Mr. Cake greeted when he noticed her.

“Good Morning!” Pinkie exclaimed cheerly, putting on her best smile, which only had a fraction of the intended cheer.

“We need– Pinkie, did you stay up all night again?” The stallion questioned in a slightly disapproving tone when he saw the bags under her eyes.

Pinkie rubbed the back of her head and looked at the ground to better hide her lie. “Yeah, sorry, I had a few parties to plan and I lost track of time again.”

Mr. Cake sighed but couldn’t stay mad at her. She always did her best for others. “Okay, but get some sleep tonight, alright? You don’t need to push yourself so much.”

“If I don’t push myself, ponies wouldn’t be as happy as they could.” Pinkie thought to herself. “I will, promise.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Did you need help with something?”

“Oh, yeah. We got a big order of cupcakes recently, and Cup would appreciate it if you helped with the batch,” Mr. Cake said pointing at the kitchen.

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” the mare cheered and made her way to the kitchen, letting her smile fall for a moment before putting it back on to greet the fellow baker. “Good morning Mrs. Cake!”

“Good morning Pinkie. Did you sleep better this time?” the mare asked as she prepared the batch of future cupcakes.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s focus on these cupcakes,” Pinkie exclaimed before putting her hooves to work. She positioned herself so her back was facing Mrs. Cake. She hated having to force a smile in front of her. She hated forcing a smile in front of anypony, but she needed to. She needed to be happy. “'Cause cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie is here to do.”

As time went on and Pinkie and Mrs. Cake chatted, the pink mare did her best to not collapse on the floor. Taking deep breaths and rubbing her stiffened legs.
In a moment of weakness, she wondered how long she could keep the act together. When she would eventually slip. But she immediately banished the thought for her mind. “Cause all I really need's a smile, smile, smile. From these happy friends of mine.”

“Pinkie, are you feeling okay?”

The question snapped Pinkie back to reality, and she noticed that she had dumped an entire bag of sugar on the batch, ruining all her work. “Oh, sorry. I guess I’m a tiny bit more tired than I assumed.”

“Why don’t you go get some sleep? I can take care of this order,” the older mare offered with a warm smile.

“No no no. You need help, and Pinkie’s here to help!” the pink mare exclaimed triumphantly. “'Cause I love to make you grin, grin, grin. Yes I do…”

“Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake said more sternly, which almost brought Pinkie to tears. “Get some sleep. I don’t want you to push yourself like this.”

“But–”

“No buts little missy.” The older mare said, shaking her head. “You go to bed and rest that grogginess away. That will brighten up your smile.”

“Brighten up?!” Pinkie thought in a panic. “O-okay, I will go,” she half lied. She needed to be somewhere else, far away from the bed.

“Good. Please take care of yourself. Everypony would be sad if you end up hurt.”

“That’s why I can’t stop smiling.” Pinkie thought as she left the kitchen, and sneakily left the bakery with her cart of supplies. “'Cause cheering up my friends is just what Pinkie is here to do.”

---

“My name is Pinkie Pie, Hello!” Pinkie sang to herself as she pulled her cart full of party supplies, taking deep breaths as she struggled. “And I am here to say, How ya doing?” The cart was unusually heavy for her, like if somepony had filled it with lead. “I'm gonna make you smile.” Her legs hurt, each step hurt more than the last, but at least the pain kept her awake. “And I will brighten up your day.” Eventually, she arrived at Berry Punch’s house and knocked on the door, taking deep breaths before putting on her best smile.

The light violet mare opened the door and looked at the party planner. “Pinkie! I see you brought everything.”

“Yep, your little sis will have the best birthday ever!” Pinkie exclaimed with ragged breath, which she quickly tried to cover up with a giggle.

“Pinkie, you don’t sound so good, are you feeling well?” Berry Punch asked, now noticing more of the mare’s signs of exhaustion.

“Of course, silly, I just…” Pinkie tried to think of an excuse, some joke to put a smile on Punch’s lips, but she was too tired, and her mind was foggy.

“Are you sick?” Berry asked, feeling Pinkie’s forehead, but she didn’t seem to have a fever.

“I’m... yeah. A bit sick, that’s why… why…” Pinkie started taking deep breaths, trying to pump her lungs full of oxygen. “I… I can’t,” she thought with pain in her heart, holding back tears. “I’m… I’m sorry… I don’t think I can prepare everything for the party, but at least I brought everything you need.”

Berry Punch looked at Pinkie, noticing the sadness pretty much dripping from her due to her disappointment. “How about we do it together?”

“Uh?” Pinkie mumbled confused.

“You can tell me where things go and I will do the heavy lifting, we will get everything ready in no time.” The mare offered, giving her space to enter the house.

For the first time in days, Pinkie’s smile wasn’t forced. “You’re right, teamwork will prevail!” the party mare exclaimed even if it hurt her.

Berry let her inside and she offered her sofa for her to sit on so she could get a clear view of the entire living room. “Where do we start?”

Taking a deep breath, Pinkie pointed at one of the boxes she had brought. “First we will set up the balloons!”

Bit by bit, Berry and Pinkie decorated the living room, taking far more time than the pink mare usually took, but the job was getting done with a smile, which made Pinkie happy. “There's one thing that makes me happy.” Pinkie sang in her head. “And makes my whole life worthwhile.” She felt her eyelids getting heavy. “And that's when… I talk to my friends and… get them to… smile.”

A sweet smell brought Pinkie back to the waking world. She had been laying on Berry’s couch for who knows how long, and a mantle had been put over her. Pinkie looked around and identified the source of the smell, a plate full of magenta-colored soup.

“Granny didn’t lie when she said it could wake the dead,” Berry said jokingly.

“Did I die?!” Pinkie exclaimed in panic. “I wanted a bit more time!”

“Hey, calm down, you just fell asleep. You were exhausted,” Berry clarified before moving the plate closer to Pinkie. “I also made you some of granny’s old medicinal soup, although I didn’t put as much scotch like she does. It will make you feel better or at least forget about your pains for a while.”

Pinkie felt a wave of relief wash over her body, knowing she hadn’t died in her sleep. “Thank you.” She then took the plate and drank the homemade medicine, feeling it heal her parched throat and, even if a little bit, she felt genuinely better. “Again, thank you.”

“Don’t worry Pinkie, it’s the least I can do.” Berry took the now empty plate and walked to the kitchen. “The decorations are ready. Anything else I can give you?”

“No, thank you. I think I will go back home and sleep.” Pinkie jumped out of the sofa and immediately regretted it, feeling a sharp pain shoot up her legs. “Have fun at the party for me.”

“We will!” Berry shouted from the kitchen. “I will send a piece of the cake to your house tomorrow!”

“Thank you!” Pinkie exited the house with a smile, tired, but again, genuine. “I really am so happy. Your smile fills me with glee.” She sang as she walked back to her house. “I give a smile, I get a smile. And that's so special to me!” but the cheer stopped when she noticed that the town was more shadowy than usual, and when she looked up, she saw the reason; A large black cloud covering the sky.

“Oh, no…”

---

“Why did it had to be a dragon?” Pinkie wondered as she stood in line with the rest of her friends. “Why did it had to be at the top of a mountain?”

“All right girls, listen up. I'm mapping out the fastest route, but we've all got to keep a good pace if we expect to make it up the mountain by nightfall,” Twilight announced, looking at a map.

“Nightfall?!” Pinkie looked up at the mountain, which looked more like a tall tower, full of cliffs, rough terrain, and steep inclines. “I… I can’t do this…” She looked at Twilight, who was still planning the best route to reach the dragon while Fluttershy tried to ask her something.

“So, um, I was thinking that, um, maybe I should just stay here in Ponyville?” the shy pegasus asked, and Twilight, distracted with her planning, let out an ‘Uh-huh.’ “Oh! Good. I'll stay here and–“

“Actually, I should stay too. I’m a bit tired and I’ll probably just slow you down,” Pinkie added, quickly joining the yellow pegasus in her hasty retreat.

Twilight’s ears perked up at that and she finally addressed them. “Wait! You have to come! We need to stay together in this, just like when we confronted Nightmare Moon. Princess Celestia and all of Equestria is counting on us.”

“But–” the pink and yellow mares muttered, but the reassuring looks in their friends faces completely disarmed their arguments.

Twilight walked up to them, speaking calmly and with genuine care. “I know it’s scary, but all of us will be at your side. As long as we are together, nothing can stop us.”

There were a few seconds of silence, as four of the six friends waited for the words to fully sink in, until Fluttershy talked. “Okay, I’ll go.”

The attention was then moved solely to Pinkie, and the mare knew that she could still say no. She could tell them a bit more of how she felt and go back to bed. But she couldn’t leave them. She knew they would never abandon her like she was trying to do, and she felt ashamed for trying to. “I’ll go too. Let’s show this dragon what we’re made of!” she shouted with fake bravado.

The girls cheered and began their march towards the mountain, with Pinkie following behind, as fast as she could.

---

It took all of Pinkie’s willpower to move her hooves, the deep breaths she took barely seemed to give her enough oxygen to think clearly, and worst of all, they hadn’t even started climbing up the mountain yet. The rest of the girls were walking a few meters in front of her, their chat barely audible in her ears, and were it not for the dragon’s loud snoring guiding her, she probably would’ve gotten lost on the way to the mountain.
She tried to cheer herself up by singing, but she had lost the will to sing a short while after they left Ponyville, leaving her with only the pain and exhaustion. “They need me… I’ve to be there for them…” She said to herself, willing another step on the road.

“Pinkie, are you okay?” The question almost made her jump out of her skin, accentuating the pain she felt. “Do you want me to carry you back to Ponyville?” The voice was coming from Rainbow, who was floating in front of her, looking at her friend with worry and a bit of guilt.

“Don’t you worry Dashie, I just need a little rest, that’s all,” Pinkie lied, trying to put on a convincing enough smile, but it wasn’t enough.

Rainbow Dash landed in front of her, cutting her off, and the rest of the girls had also stopped their march to look at what was happening. “Pinkie, what’s wrong? You’re acting really weird. And not the fun kind of weird.”

Pinkie felt cornered and panicked, trying to show she was okay. “I’m fine Rainbow, see?” She asked as she started to bounce forward at Rainbow’s side, but at the third bounce, she felt a sharp pain, worse than any other, erupt from her chest. Her whole body locked up for a second before loosening, making her fall to the ground like a ragdoll.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow shouted horrified while the rest of her friends came over running.

“I’m okay… It’s just…” Pinkie tried to say, but her vision was blurred, and she could barely hear her friends around her, until finally, everything went dark.

---

Pinkie woke up to the beeping of some machine next to her, and as her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw the roof of a patient room, so she deduced somepony had taken her to the hospital. That somepony made themselves known when five mares surrounded the bed, faces going from worry and relief to confusion and anger.

“Hey girls,” Pinkie said weakly. “How long was I asleep?”

“36 hours,” Twilight answered, looking at her as if she were a test Twilight didn’t study for.

“Wow, I knew I was tired, but not that tired. Still, you shouldn’t have taken me to the hospital, silly, my bed would’ve been enough.” Pinkie’s cheerfulness was still fake but having been able to sleep allowed her to play it off better.

However, it didn’t seem to be working right now.

“Pinkie, don’t lie to us,” Rainbow warned in a stern tone.

The pink mare faked confusion. “Lie about what?”

“Pinkie, the doctors told us about your heart,” Twilight answered, walking a bit closer to her. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Did you know?” Applejack added in hopes that all of this was a misunderstanding.

“I…” Pinkie had to take a moment to think her next words. “What did they tell you?”

The girls looked at each other with worry before Twilight answered. “Cardiomyopathy. And it’s pretty severe.”

“What does the funny word mean?” Pinkie asked with genuine curiosity.

“It means that your heart’s not working properly,” Twilight said a bit harshly. “That’s why you’re tired. Do you have problems breathing? Do you feel your legs swelling and hurt?” Pinkie’s silence was all she needed to know the answer.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Rainbow asked. “Why didn’t you seek help before it got so bad?”

It took a few seconds for Pinkie to respond, but she was honest when she did. “I didn’t think it was so bad. I had more important things to worry about.”

“Pinkie, your health is important, for you, us and all the ponies who care for you,” Rarity said from the far end of the bed, catching the pink mare’s attention. “You can’t be there for everyone without taking care of yourself first.”

“And you shouldn’t be hiding it from us. We all care for you as much as you do,” Fluttershy added.

Pinkie let out a long sigh before looking at each of her friends. At the anguish in their faces. She had caused all of it. Despite her intentions, she had taken away all their smiles. She had failed.
Tears started to fall down her face. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I won’t lie again. I promise. I Pinkie Promise.” She was about to do the motions, but they were interrupted when five pairs of hooves hugged her all at once.
She gave into the embrace, letting the tears flow, but finding a slow-burning relief in it, and when the crying stopped, even if her heart returned to its usual ache, she felt happier than ever.

Slowly, the girls separated to give space for Pinkie to breathe. “So, what do we do now?” the mare asked, wiping away the last of her tears.

Twilight glanced at the heartrate monitor next to the bed. “Well, you’ll need surgery.” Pinkie looked scared at the very mention of the word, so Twilight tried to portray it in a more positive manner. “You will be asleep during all of it. It will be like a long sleep and you will wake up healthy.”

“What’re they going to do to my heart?” Pinkie asked with a hoof on her chest.

“They need to replace it,” Twilight explained. “They’re already looking a for a donor. It could take–”

“No.”

The room went silent. Five mares staring at their friend in shock, confusion, and disbelief.

“What do you mean no?” Rainbow asked a bit aggressively.

“I don’t want another heart,” Pinkie clarified, her face completely serious.

“Pinkie, you can’t live with the heart you have,” Twilight explained as calmly as she could. “If you don’t go through surgery, you’ll have less than a year to live.”

Pinkie crossed her hooves. “Then that’s as long as I was meant to live.”

Everypony gasped in shock at her words.

“You can’t be serious!” Rainbow objected, flying right above Pinkie. “You can’t just deny yourself to live longer!”

Pinkie stared at her friend right in her magenta eyes. “I can. None of you can force me to take somepony else’s heart.”

“You do know they’re willingly giving it to you? You’re not stealing it,” Rarity questioned, hoping that her friend was just misinformed.

Pinkie turned her head to face the fashionista. “I’m not dumb Rarity. I’m fully aware of how the process works.”

“Then why?!” Applejack shouted in emotional frustration, almost climbing onto the bed. “Why in tarnation are you letting yourself die?”

Pinkie took a deep breath, and spoke calmly, hoping that they would understand. “Because this is my heart. The heart mom and dad gave me. The heart that makes me ‘Pinkie Pie’. If I throw it away, I will lose a part of myself, and replacing it with somepony else’s heart will only make me even less ‘Pinkie Pie’.” The mares looked at her dumbfounded, trying to process what she just told them.

“But your heart isn’t what makes you ‘Pinkie Pie’ Pinkie!” Rainbow exclaimed, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

“Would you be the same without your wings?” Pinkie asked. “Or Twilight without her brain? Applejack without her legs? Fluttershy without her voice? Rarity without her eyes? Can you really just replace all of those with just anypony else’s and remain the same pony you were before?”

“Pinkie, it doesn’t work that way.” Twilight tried to find a way to explain it. “The function of the heart is just to–”

“Stop,” Pinkie interrupted, shaking her head. “If I have little time left, I don’t want to spend it fighting with my friends. I’ll get some rest and keep helping everypony smile. I can prepare for when the day comes. Maybe I can organize a goodbye party before it happens.” Before her friends could continue arguing, Pinkie hid herself under the covers of the bed and did her best to fall sleep.

After a few long minutes, her friends left the room, and she allowed herself to shed a few more tears.

---

“I… I don’t understand,” Twilight exclaimed as she and her friends walked out of the hospital. “I get that she believes… but even so…” The purple unicorn dragged a hoof over her mane as her brain went into a wasteful overdrive. “Can we really not do anything to intervene with the operation?”

“We could if we convince the doctors that Pinkie is unable to understand the implications of the operation, but she seems to know it pretty well. Maybe we can treat it as her trying to end her own life?” Fluttershy offered.

“She will never forgive us if we do that,” Applejack countered looking at the floor like if it would whisper a solution.

“Maybe it’s best that she hates us and lives,” Rarity said, scared of her own words coming true.

“I’ll give her my heart,” Rainbow announced suddenly. “Maybe she will accept mine, and I can have whoever’s would go to Pinkie.”

“That’s the most reckless and stupid thing you’ve ever said!” Applejack exclaimed. “A heart surgery is not something to be taken lightly!”

“So, we just let Pinkie die?!” Rainbow shouted. “We spend the next months or weeks pretending that she’s not going to drop dead in front of us at any moment?”

“And what if she lives but you don’t? What if you both die?” Applejack questioned. “I’m as scared as all of you but… if she really wants it to be this way.” The farm mare tipped her hat to hide her tears, “Maybe we should just respect her wishes and make her last days as enjoyable as we can.”

“You can’t be serious Applejack!” Rainbow screamed.

“We were going to face a dragon less than two days ago! We all could’ve died there, and we wouldn’t have had the time to even say goodbye to each other!” Applejack screamed back.

“Nopony needs to die!” Twilight shouted over both of them. “I will contact the princesses and see if they know a spell that can heal Pinkie.”

“Darling, if such a spell existed, I’m sure it would be common practice,” Rarity objected.

Twilight shook her head. “Maybe it’s just too complex for regular use or it isn’t cost-effective. Maybe it involves dark magic, but I don’t care. I will make it from scratch if I have to!”

“Are you Pinkie’s friends?” A sixth mare asked, calling their attention.

---

Pinkie took deep breaths, trying to calm both herself and her heart. “Okay, listen,” She said looking at her chest. “I know you’re hurting, but all I need is a few months to get some things done. I should ask Twilight for a checklist so I can plan it more accurately. Do you think you could hold up until the Gala? I would like to be in one before…” Pinkie’s hair deflated even more than it already was, almost becoming straight, but she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It was going to happen sooner or later… but it still feels too soon.”

There was a knock on the door, and Pinkie put on her best smile. “Come in!” She called out, and her eyes widened when none other than her sister walked into the room. “Maud?”

“Hi Pinkie.” The grey mare greeted in her usual neutral voice and stoic expression. “Boulder told me you had a problem with your heart.”

Pinkie’s first instinct was to lie about it, but then she remembered how it had hurt her friends in the end. “I can still last a few months. I will go visit the farm as soon as they let me out.”

“Do you want me to tell everyone?” Maud offered while moving a chair closer to the bed.

“You think it would be best? You always had a better way with words than me.”

Maud finally sat down on the chair, standing eye to eye with her sister. “It’s your choice Pinkie. I also haven’t seen them in a while, so we can go together once they release you.”

“Thank you… I… I’ll need you.” Tears started falling down Pinkie’s cheeks, which her sister quickly dried up with a napkin pulled out of her frock.

“You can always count with my help Pinkie,” Maud assured her, making her smile. “That’s why I’m here.” Maud paused for a moment and looked at Pinkie in the eyes, and only a creature that knew Maud could tell how much emotion was behind the gray mare’s look. “That’s why I want to talk about your operation.”

Pinkie’s mood soured a bit. “They asked you to convince me.” She looked at the door, noticing the silhouettes of her friends standing behind it.

Maud moved her sister’s head so she could see her in the eyes. “As I said, I came here to help you, not to force you into something.”

Pinkie crossed her forelegs. “So, if I still say no, you will leave?”

“If you still say no, I will stay. I won’t abandon you because of a disagreement, especially with something so important on the line.”

Pinkie took a deep breath and let out a defeated sigh. “What’s your argument?”

“You’re afraid of being different due to the operation, right?” Pinkie nodded. “Do you know what’s wrong in that notion?”

“That I’ll die sooner?”

Maud slowly shook her head. “That you’re already different.” She took her sister’s foreleg and placed it against her own. “I’m grey. Our sisters are grey. Mom and Dad are grey. We all have problems expressing ourselves. Either because of sourness, shyness, or miscommunication. You, on the other hoof, are pink, cheerful, extroverted, and expressive. Many wouldn’t believe we’re related, but there isn’t a doubt that you’re a Pie.”

Pinkie looked at herself. “I get what you mean, but this could change that very thing. I will lose a piece of what makes me unique.”

“You say it like it would make you less Pinkie, but it may make you more Pinkie.” The pink mare’s eyes went back to her. “Do you remember how our family was before your cutie mark? You changed that by being different than us. You added joy and laughter into our lives. We became happier because you were different.” Maud grabbed her sister’s hoof tightly. “The choice is yours, but regardless of that, let me be clear.” At that moment, Pinkie was overwhelmed by the emotion behind Maud’s eyes. “Even if they replace every part of you, you will still be Pinkie Pie. You will still be the sister I love.”

---

Twilight and her friends waited impatiently outside of Pinkie’s room, their anxiety increasing with every passing second.

“Will she convince her?” Fluttershy asked.

“She has to,” Rainbow muttered.

When Maud finally exited the room, the girls surrounded her immediately. “What did she say?” Twilight asked almost desperately.

Maud remained stoic as she answered. “I said what I wanted to say. The decision is still in her hooves.” The mares were clearly upset with her answer, so she spoke again. “I know you also want her to say yes, but if she goes through surgery without coming to terms with this, there’s a bigger chance that her body will reject the transplant.” Maud started walking, and the girls moved away to give her space. “Thank you for being here for her.”

Once Maud left, the five mares looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

At the end of the day… it was up to Pinkie to decide.

---

It was the day after Maud’s visit, and Pinkie had remained in the hospital bed. The doctors told her that it would take a week of monitoring and diagnosis before they would let her go home, and that she would still be on the waiting list for a new heart until then.
Maud’s words had been running around inside her head, mostly because of having nothing to do until the visit hours started, but also because of the questions that they brought to Pinkie. But those thoughts were quickly put aside when she got a visit that she was dreading since yesterday.

Mrs. And Mr. Cake.

“I’m sorry,” were the words that escaped Pinkie’s lips before any greetings.

The adults that just entered the room looked at each other before Mr. Cake talked. “We’re also sorry. It’s our responsibility to care of you.”

“But we’re also disappointed that you felt like you couldn’t be open to us,” Mrs. Cake added.

Pinkie sobbed a little. “I just wanted to keep you happy.”

“You deserve happiness too Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said, lifting Pinkie’s chin.

“If you only give to others, you will eventually run out, just like this.” Mrs. Cake looked at Pinkie like a mother would her own child, filling her broken heart with a small flame of warmth. “Now it’s our turn to return a bit of the happiness you gave us.”

Mr. Cake smiled. “You’ve our full support, we will be here for you no matter what, and you’ll always have a home with us.”

Pinkie felt more tears fall down her face, and she extended her arms to pull them into a big hug. “Thank you.”

When she finally let them go, Mrs. Cake pulled out a plate full of pastries from his saddlebag in a very Pinkie fashion. “We also brought you your favorite cupcakes.”

Pinkie took the plate and smelled the aroma, warmth, and love that they radiated, feeling it calm her aching body. She then looked at her second family with a smile. “Would you share them with me?”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake smiled. “Of course, Pinkie.”

Hours passed as the three talked while enjoying the cupcakes, the older ponies doing most of the talking by telling stories of their youth, of how they met each other and eventually proposed. Pinkie felt like she was getting to know a lot more of the two ponies she thought she knew like the back of her hoof. She realized she had a lot more to learn about the creatures around her.

Eventually, the Cakes left, and Pinkie saw another familiar face enter the room. “Hi Twilight.”

“Hi Pinkie, how are you feeling?” the librarian asked, trying to remain calm despite her hooves trembling.

“The doctors help me keep the pains away and I’m getting better sleep.” Pinkie placed a hoof over her chest, feeling her heart pounding inside. “I almost forget about it sometimes.”

“I…” Twilight bit her lower lip. She didn’t know what to say. She always had some sort of solution for any problem, but this was way beyond her. “I was talking with the girls yesterday.” She pulled a very thick roll of parchment out of her saddlebags. “I made a checklist for you.” Pinkie grabbed the parchment with curiosity and unfurled it.

As she read the words, her hooves started to tremble.

“Watch Rainbow perform the Sonic Rainboom.”

“Get a dress for the Gala.”

“Drink apple cider together.”

“Prank Rainbow Dash.”

“Have a sleepover together.”

“What is this?” Pinkie asked as she continued reading the apparently never-ending list.

“I wrote what we all wanted to do before…” Tears started to fall down Twilight’s face. “Since we may not have much time…” Twilight finally broke down and jumped on the bed to hug Pinkie with all her strength. “I don’t want to lose you! I can’t!” She sobbed desperately. “Our friendship shouldn’t end this way!”

Pinkie hugged her friend as her own tears fell. “It will be okay Twilight. We will find time to do everything on the list. And you will make new friends.”

Twilight hugged her friend even tighter. “But none of them will be you, Pinkie.”

The words were like a gut punch to Pinkie, and they seemed to accentuate what Maud had said before. Completely stunned, she simply held Twilight until she eventually calmed down, but she was still holding back sobs.

Pinkie looked at the list, which now felt like the most important thing in the world. “Can I add my own objectives?”

“Of course, Pinkie.” Twilight sniffed. “Anything you want.” She handed the mare a quill and watched her as she wrote on the back of the parchment. “It’s unfair.”

“I know Twilight,” Pinkie responded without looking away from the parchment. “But it happens to all of us, sooner or later.”

Twilight sat down on the floor, a defeated expression taking over her features. “I tried to find a way to save you.” Pinkie stopped writing. “I was going to use any means necessary, but Celestia stopped me and told me that; ‘creatures have done dark things to save love ones from the natural course of life. Dark things that only brought more misery than if they just accepted the loss’.” Twilight looked at Pinkie, tears still running down her face. “I would cross that line twenty times over. For you or any of our friends.”

Pinkie put the list aside and extended her forelegs towards Twilight, inviting her for another hug that the unicorn accepted. “I don’t want you doing that Twilight. You don’t deserve that misery.”

“And you don’t deserve to die so soon.” Twilight took a deep breath and slowly let go of Pinkie. “If I find a way to fix this, even if it’s risky, would you take it?”

Pinkie looked at her friend with sad eyes, and slowly shook her head. “I don’t think I could live with those consequences.”

Twilight sniffed and brushed her tears away. “Then I will learn to let go.” She looked at Pinkie, smiling despite the maelstrom of emotions running through her. “Keep adding to the list, I want it all checked before…” A sob shook her. “…before we say goodbye.”

With that, Twilight left the room, and Pinkie was once again left with her thoughts, until sleep took her away.

---

A new day began, and Pinkie waited patiently until visit time came around. She felt like she was wasting precious time just laying in bed, having everypony worried about her. She wanted to go out and talk to ponies, have fun, throw a party or two, see ponies be happy.

In here, she could only stay still, sleep, and think.

The door to the room opened and Pinkie lifted herself up to see the new visitor.

“Hi Pinkie,” Berry Punch greeted as she closed the door.

“Berry, what a pleasant surprise!” Pinkie exclaimed, genuinely happy to have somepony to talk to.

“I’m glad to see you in a more cheerful mood,” Berry said with a smile, unaware of the pain those words brought to Pinkie. “I brought you a few things.” She dug through her saddlebags and pulled up a plastic container with a slice of cake inside. “The cake I promised you,” she said before placing the gift on the bed. She then pulled out a small flask. “And a bit of grandma’s medicine. It seemed like it helped you before.”

Pinkie pulled the items closer to her with a big smile on her face. “Thank you Berry, you’re a very good friend.”

“It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for everyone. My sister really enjoyed the party we prepared. She wanted to visit you, but she’s scared of hospitals.”

Pinkie chuckled a bit. "Oh, it's okay, I wouldn't want her to see me like this. I only want to be seen with a smile."

Berry’s cheerful expression turned into a concerned one. “Pinkie, it’s okay if you don’t smile in front of us, or anypony.”

Pinkie let out a long sigh. “I need to. I want to keep everypony happy.”

Berry moved closer to Pinkie, placing a hoof over the mare’s foreleg. “Pinkie, you don’t need to be the life of the party all the time. You can have a bad day and be grumpy, or need a vacation to rest, or call in sick. We won’t turn our backs on you. We know all the things you do to cheer us up, and that’s when you’re not saving Equestria from eternal night.”

Pinkie opened her mouth but couldn’t come up with something to say in response to Berry’s words, so she opened the flask and took a long sip of it while she thought about them.

“We all care for you Pinkie, and we will be sad when we lose you, but we will always remember the cheer you brought to all of us.” Berry moved her hoof away, waiting for some response from the pink mare, but Pinkie’s mind was still trying to figure out what to say.

After a few long seconds, Berry looked at the door for a moment before speaking again. “Sorry to cut my visit short, but there’s someone else who wants to see you.”

That finally made Pinkie react. “Who?”

Berry didn’t answer, and simply went to the door and opened it, letting two grey mares walk inside.

“You look horrible,” Limestone Pie declared as a greeting to her sister.

Pinkie laughed at her sister’s words. “I would’ve made myself more presentable if I knew you two were coming.” She looked at Marble walk up to the left side of her bed before placing a hoof over hers.

“And I wouldn’t have left all the work to mom and dad,” Limestone complained as she took a seat next to Pinkie’s right side.

Pinkie gave her sister a knowing smile. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here.”

Limestone hid her face behind her hair. “Of course, I had to. You’re my sister.”

Pinkie smiled, and then turned her eyes towards her other sister. Marble was still holding her hoof and looking at her with an expression she couldn’t easily identify.
She could see the concern for her, but there was something else. A blurred conflict of ideas, as if Marble herself couldn’t tell what she was feeling.

Pinkie looked at Limestone. “How did they take the news?”

“Like they do all things, calmly and accepting.” Limestone let one eye show from withing her mane. “Mom cried when she thought we couldn’t listen.”

Pinkie smiled. “She always tries to look strong for us.”

“I hate it,” Limestone confessed. “I want to tell her to stop doing it. We’re all adults now. And if we lose you before her…” Pinkie felt Marble’s hoof hold her a bit more tightly. “…I don’t want her putting on a mask for us.”

Pinkie looked at her sister. “It seems to be a trend in our family.”

Limestone let out a long, very tired sigh. “Apparently.” She then moved her hair out of her face. “You think you can last till the next Heart’s Warming?”

Pinkie put a hoof over her chest. “I hope so. Don’t think you can skip hiding my gift,” she joked.

Surprisingly, Limestone chuckled. “I’ll hide it early this year.”

Pinkie suddenly felt two legs wrap around her in a tight hug. She looked down, and found her sister Marble holding her, trying to express her feelings with actions rather than words.

Limestone watched Pinkie return the hug, pulling her sister closer to her. “We’ll miss you Pinkie.”

“I’ll miss you too. From wherever I go after.” Pinkie chuckled to herself. “I wonder how it will be.”

The smallest hint of a smile appeared in Limestone’s lips. “Maybe it rains chocolate over there.”

Pinkie started laughing, feeling Marble’s hold on her become less tense.

Not many words were exchanged after that, but Pinkie enjoyed their company all the same.

---

The next day, Pinkie Pie was woken up by nurse Redheart entering her room.

“Is something wrong?” Pinkie questioned, rubbing her eyes awake.

“We have a donor for you,” the white mare announced. “I’m sorry to wake you up but we don’t have much time. Do you give us permission to operate?”

Pinkie froze, her mind working on overdrive. She saw all the faces of her friends and family. Their pain, their sadness, and their acceptance. She heard all their words once more. Maud’s, Twilight’s, Berry’s, the Cakes’, and her sisters’.

She didn’t want to change her heart, but everypony wanted her to live.

One decision would make her happy, the other would make everypony else happy.

Wasn’t her decision doing exactly the opposite of what she wanted to achieve?

Was she being selfish by putting her own desires over her loved one’s happiness?

Wasn’t everypony trying to make her understand that she didn’t have to make sacrifices for other’s happiness?

Was this a sacrifice for herself, or for the one’s she loved?

Pinkie didn’t know the answer, but one thing was clear for her…

“Yes, you have my permission.”

She needed a long time to figure it out.

---

A flash of purple light warned the ponies in the surgical waiting area of the arrival of Twilight Sparkle. The unicorn scanned the room and quickly located Rainbow and Applejack, who had come to visit Pinkie right before she was taken to surgery, standing next to Maud. “Is she still inside?”

Maud nodded, shaking her head a bit to remain awake. She had stayed in the hospital since the day she arrived.

“She’s going to live,” Rainbow said with a smile full of confidence. “We need to plan the biggest party ever for when they let her out.”

“We will have three or seven days before they release her, so we have time.” Twilight pulled out a piece of parchment and started to make a checklist for the preparations.

The doors to the waiting area opened and Marble and Limestone entered in a sprint.

Maud turned to look at them. “You came back.”

“We got off the train and took the next one to Ponyville,” Limestone explained, trying to catch her breath.

Rarity and Fluttershy joined them soon after, and the Cake’s arrived last.

While they waited, Rainbow and Rarity joined Twilight in the planning of the welcome-back party, Fluttershy sat next to Maud, offering a cup of vending-machine coffee, the Cakes started a slightly one side conversation with Marble and Limestone to know a bit more about Pinkie’s origins, and Applejack stared at the door to the surgery room as the group’s lookout, counting every second that passed.

At the eight thousand five hundred and eighty second, a doctor exited the surgery room. “The surgery was completed without major issues,” the stallion announced. “She will be transported to the PACU and you can visit her tomorrow.”

Relief and celebration swept through Pinkie’s friends and family, and after asking a few more questions about the operation and how they needed to proceed after Pinkie was released, they all joined Twilight with the party preparations.

---

And so, the day of discharge finally arrived. Pinkie walked on her own hooves for the first time in days, being helped by Marble and Limestone, and followed closely by Maud.

As soon as she approached the entrance, she saw all her friends waiting for her, and the smiles they had made her feel like it had been worth it.

The five mares had to contain their desire to crush their friend under a pile of hugs, and simply surrounded her with their company.

“How do you feel?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie put a hoof over the scar on her chest. “Different.”

“Do you still like parties?” Applejack jokingly asked.

Pinkie faked thinking about it. “I think I still do.”

“Well, we have a super awesome party prepared for you!” Rainbow announced as they walked to the entrance of the hospital.

“I hope the guests don’t overwhelm you, darling.”

“Who did you invite?” Pinkie asked curiously.

Fluttershy opened the door, and Pinkie saw a huge crowd gathered outside of the hospital, waving flags and banners with her face and messages of support and congratulations.

Everypony was there. Berry Punch and her sister, the Cakes, Cheerilee and all her students, the Apples, even her parents had left the farm to come see her.

And they were all smiling, cheering, and celebrating.

Tears fell down Pinkie’s cheeks, and despite her surgery and numbness, she stretched her hooves enough to hug all her friends and her sisters.

Pinkie's smile was beaming with happiness. “Thank you.”

Comments

[nameundetermined]

Cash Money

[Jphyper]

Huh. Most of these kinds of stories are about mental issues, not physical ones, especially when Pinkie Pie is involved. As someone who has heart issues, this one was a bit more relatable, though thankfully, my problem isn't life-threatening.

Overall, this feels like something you've encountered before. Do you actually know someone who's had to go through this?

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10665817
Not heart problems specifically, but my father had to go through surgery multiple times. Marble's is the closest to my reaction to the event.

I'm glad your problem isn't life-threatening.

[Angel Midnight]

Why do you have to do that to us? Why do you have to write something so beautiful and sad and so very heartwarming at the same time?

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10665841
Because I want to use my experiences to show the positives in life

[PhysicistBrony]

Dang... This was so sad and heartwarming at the same time.

[fanreader999999]

Hrrrrrmmmmmm

[Mstar]

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

This was marvelous. Really very great!

I don't normally like Pinkie all that much, but this one got me good. Thank you very much for writing it.

[PEGASISTERPINKIEPIE]

This is great, mostly because a member of my family had the same problem, she identified with pinkie, the rest of my family and I identified with the feelings of all of pinkie's friends, really, good job
I'm sorry if there are spelling mistakes in this comment, or if I'm a little late, but I'm from Latin America and I'm just starting to work in English

[MysteryHopelessRomantic]

How dare you make me cry OP

[Xavy T Drag]

Who was the donor and why wasn't there much time?

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10669040
An organ doesn't last much time when removed from the body, and donors don't usually die in the hospital, it has to be brought to the patient as fast as possible.

As to who was the donor, that's up to your imagination

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10667426
Don't wrroy about spelling mistakes, I'm happy you enjoyed it.

PS: I'm also form Latin America

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10667317
Thank you very much for reading it

[YourUncleFuncle]

I'm a little late commenting, but this one got me choked up. It's really sweet and hit me hard, and the fact that Pinkie decided that making her friends happy at the end as her top priority was a really unexpected twist. I thought she was going to decide not to go through with the operation, but I like this way better. Thanks for such a wonderful story!

[The Sleepless Beholder]

10669651
All comments are welcomed. I wanted it to be Pinkie's decicion at the end instead of somepony fully convincing her, so it was really at the last moment she decided to live more and see everypony happy.

[Jarvy Jared]

Hello, a review to your story has been posted. I hope you find it helpful.

[Latecomer]

Well, this is certainly something - a very real story for the most cartoon of ponies.

[Cocoa Bittersweet]

This story was very well written just like all your other stories, but it wouldn't feel right to give it a like due to my main problem with the story:
Pinkie choosing to die young and leave everyone who cares about her behind instead of getting a simple surgery. It doesn't make any sense to me.

[Ghost Mike]

An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!

[Skyshy]

“Would you be the same without your wings?” Pinkie asked. “Or Twilight without her brain? Applejack without her legs? Fluttershy without her voice? Rarity without her eyes? Can you really just replace all of those with just anypony else’s and remain the same pony you were before?”

rainbow Dash yes Twilight no your brain is what makes you you, if you really think about it well I'll just brains inside flesh suits