Chapter 1
This is part of the Vampire Cheerilee Series. Cover art by Doctor Whooves. Please enjoy.
Luck of the Draw
Being another face in the crowd was sometimes not the best option. On certain rare occasions maximum visibility was prefered.
The spotlight was not where Cheerilee was used to being. In the decade that she’d been working for Princess Luna, the schoolteacher had spent most of the time trying to stick to the shadows.
The brightly lit Casino Equine nearly overloaded her senses. It was difficult to stop her ears from twitching towards every little sound, of which there were thousands. Ponies packed the building, and somewhere among them was Cheerilee’s target.
The mission was much different from the mare’s usual. She was merely to locate a stallion named Silverwing and take from him a large sum of money. He was a courier for a criminal organization, but beyond that there were no further details.
Cheerilee was used to being short on information. For example, when she’d been bitten by a vampire, it had been up to her alone to figure things out because there wasn’t exactly a how-to guide available. It was lucky Luna had recognized her new abilities and given her a job where she could put them to use.
The mare worried slightly that the train departing that evening would be late. The tracks near Las Pegasus had been under maintainence earlier. She still taught school during the day Monday through Friday, and wouldn’t think of calling in a substitute in her place.
Again focusing her mind on the task in front of her, Cheerilee took a stroll through the gaming area. Several heads turned in her direction. Under a false name, the mare had ordered a dress from an old friend of hers in Ponyville. Unfortunately, the outfit maker didn’t know the meaning of subtle, and Cheerilee was probably one of the best-dressed mares in the casino.
The schoolteacher was nothing if not adaptable, however, and had decided that if she had to look like a million bits, she might as well go ahead and complete the illusion. Dusting off an old cover identity that she hadn’t used in years, Cheerilee stepped onto the gaming floor pretending to be a completely different pony. Her head was up, and she walked like she owned the place - or at least was in negotiations to purchase.
It did not take too long to locate Silverwing. He was a pale grey pegasus dressed in a dark waistcoat with slits in the back for his wings. The stallion was sitting at a poker table and appeared to be frustrated that he was only breaking even. A few beautiful young mares seemed to be hanging out with him, but were being ignored.
Cheerilee wondered if the money Silverwing was transporting would be with him. That seemed like a lot of bits to carry around, even with the new paper currency. A better bet would either be in his hotel room or in the casino safe.
It would take a while to find where Silverwing was staying. It would be easier to just follow him there. Maybe there was a way to force him to leave early without alerting him to something unusual. Perhaps if he went broke at the poker table...
Cheerilee did not usually gamble in pony-versus-pony games. It was too easy. Her senses provided more than enough advantage over other players. Besides, with her expense account she didn't need the money. The schoolteacher drifted near the table where Silverwing sat. It was a twenty thousand bit buy-in.
Retreating to the money changing counter, the mare ordered one hundred thousand bits’ worth of chips. The teller looked surprised. Large sums were traded all the time, but not usually by lone mares in the casino all by themselves. Cheerilee gave him her identification to authorize the transaction. The name on it read Countess de la Cheer.
The fake identity had been directly authorized by the Princess, so of course it checked out as legitimate on the magical ID network. The teller gave Cheerilee one hundred thousand-bit chips on a small tray.
A handsome, yet nervous-looking unicorn stallion in a tuxedo intercepted the schoolteacher as she was heading back to the poker table. “Ma’am? Could I have a word with you for a moment?”
Cheerilee nodded warily, making sure to keep her chips within sight. It wasn’t her money, and it would be irresponsible to lose track of it.
“My name’s Smooth Operator,” said the stallion. He didn’t move his head, but Cheerilee saw his eyes dart around. “I understand that you work for the Princess?”
“Who are you?” asked Cheerilee, fighting hard to keep surprise out of her voice.
“Equestrian Intelligence Agency,” said Smooth. “Could we please talk somewhere else?”
Cheerilee agreed. “How about my room?”
The stallion nodded and the two of them walked into a back hallway that led to the hotel adjoining the casino. After going up the stairs, Cheerilee unlocked her door. She set the tray of chips down and then kicked Smooth’s hooves out from under him, knocking the stallion onto the bed. An instant later, the mare was on his back, pinning him.
“What the-” he started to say, but Cheerilee mashed his face into the sheets.
“I wasn’t expecting to meet with anypony. I hope you understand that I need confirmation that you are who you say you are.” Without changing the tone of her voice, Cheerilee explained matter-of-factly, “If you aren’t, I’m going to kill you.”
The mare removed a small mirror from her luggage and tossed it on the bed. The reflective surface changed to reveal Princess Luna’s face.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you an update,” said the royal pony. “The EIA got in at the last moment and convinced me this would work better as a joint operation. They sent an agent to meet with you.”
“Is this him?” asked Cheerilee, tipping the mirror towards the stallion under her.
Luna’s lips twitched as if suppressing a smirk. “Yes, I think so. Smooth Operator, was it?”
The stallion nodded as best as he was able. Cheerilee let him up and turned back to the mirror.
“Good luck tonight,” said the Princess. She raised an eyebrow. “And try not to spend all that money.”
Cheerilee promised restraint and the mirror went silvery again. Smooth sat up, rubbing at his sore muscles. “Where did you learn to do that?”
“I’m stronger than I look,” Cheerilee said.
“Well, I guess Luna wouldn't want just anypony working for her,” muttered Smooth.
“Now, what did you want to talk about?” Cheerilee got up, adjusting her dress. It had a few anti-wrinkle and anti-stain enchantments to keep it looking nice.
Smooth performed a quick spell to straighten out his tuxedo. “Well, I’m here with the EIA as a joint operation - the Princess said that. We’re trying to take down Silverwing and the money he’s supposedly carrying.”
Cheerilee explained her plan to separate Silverwing from his poker chips and then follow him. With an extra pair of eyes, it should be even easier now.
The two of them went down on the gaming floor. Smooth saw the sign about the high buy-in at the table and glanced at the tray Cheerilee carried, only now realizing that every chip on it was worth a thousand bits. The mare winked at him and whispered, “Watch this.”
Walking to the table, Cheerilee asked, “Room for one more?”
Silverwing and the other three stallions that sat there looked up, looked at her pile of chips, and motioned her her to sit down.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a pretty thing like you in a game like this,” chortled one of the ponies. He was older and looked like no stranger to rich food. Silverwing nodded in agreement, saying nothing. The other two stallions appeared not to notice, their dark sunglasses indicating that they were either professional players or thought they were.
Cheerilee put twenty chips in the pot and received her first dealing of cards. Poker was still a relatively new game in Equestria, but had caught on quickly. As long as luck-modulating enchantments were placed on the gaming table, anypony could play with even odds.
Well, almost. Cheerilee’s senses gave her more than luck. If a pony’s heartbeat sped up, they were excited about their cards. Dilated pupils meant the same thing. A cold sweat or rapid breathing indicated nervousness. If there happened to be something shiny in the background then it was game over. The reflection, however tiny, would give away to Cheerilee the other pony’s cards. There was still a random element of luck in the game, but the schoolteacher had never had a losing game of poker since becoming a vampire.
The mare looked at her cards and back up. She watched the others decide what to do with their hands. One of the sunglasses-wearing stallions folded. The rest of the players put in chips, as did Cheerilee.
Over the next few rounds, the pot grew larger but not seriously so. Deciding to push things a little, Cheerilee doubled the next bet. Only Silverwing matched her. The two of them faced off, and turned over their cards. His three of a kind beat her pair.
Silverwing smiled and raked in the pot. Cheerilee frowned, but recovered. She didn’t want to appear like money meant nothing to her, because that might make the other players think she had enough spare change to play them into the ground.
The cards went out again. Cheerilee followed a similar pattern of betting as before. This time, she, Silverwing, and the heavyset pony were still in. The mare put down one last bet. With a sigh, the corpulent stallion folded.
Cheerilee and Silverwing turned over their cards. Her queen-eight full house made his two pair look pathetic. She shot him a confident smile, which he did not return. In fact, he looked annoyed, which was all right with her.
A stallion came over to the table and placed a note in front of Silverwing. Cheerilee surreptitiously changed her position, trying to either see the paper or find something to view its reflection with. Silverwing read the note and nodded once. The messenger left.
Cheerilee glanced around casually while waiting for the next hand to be dealt. She didn’t see Smooth. Hopefully he had followed the note-bringer.
The next hand Cheerilee folded immediately. A waiter had gone by with a silver serving tray, showing her that one of the ponies with sunglasses was holding a flush. One by one the other players fell out, leaving the pot small.
Several more hands went by, none of them too large, but Cheerilee took the majority. She was on a streak and won about thirty thousand bits.
Through the noise of the crowd, a familiar laugh carried through. It was loud enough that several ponies turned to look even if they didn’t recognize it. Cheerilee’s eyes went wide upon glimpsing a giggling pink mare and the five others with her.
Composing herself, the schoolteacher turned back to the game. A Las Pegasus casino was about the last place she expected to meet six familiar faces from Ponyville. Silverwing was staring at her. Cheerilee dropped a few extra bits on the table in challenge.
Out of the corner of her eye, the mare saw that Smooth was back. She listened carefully to the noise of the crowd, able to pick out the voices of the ponies she knew. They still seemed to be on the other side of the room and not in danger of spotting her.
Cheerilee threw more money down. It was a fine line between appearing confident in her hand, and looking so confident that the other players thought she was bluffing. The betting went around the table until only she and Silverwing remained. Cheerilee raised again, adding to the already bloated pot. The stallion thought for a moment and then folded.
It was not required for the last pony standing to show their cards, but Cheerilee did. She had a pair of fours. Silverwing’s jaw clenched in anger, knowing he had made a mistake. The mare didn’t give him time to stew on it, turning towards Smooth and waving him closer.
“Take over for me,” she said. The EIA agent’s face went blank with surprise. Cheerilee’s total was close to two hundred thousand bits, nearly double what she had started with.
Smooth stuttered, but Cheerilee was already getting up and pushing him towards her seat. He may have been surprised, but kept his wits and took the opportunity to make a covert transfer. Under the table, he patted a pocket in his tuxedo.
Cheerilee leaned over and planted a kiss on Smooth’s cheek. Pressing her body close to hide her movements, she retrieved a small notebook from his pocket.
“Good luck,” she said, pulling away. Smooth nodded, speechless.
“Sorry to see you go, m’dear,” chuckled the portly pony. “Even if you did take most of my money.”
Cheerilee gave him a nod and hurried away. Once clear of the game floor - and the visitors from Ponyville - she opened Smooth’s notebook.
There were a few notes about her; how to recognize the mare who called herself Countess de la Cheer. Lavender coat, pink mane, green eyes, probably well-dressed.
Further back, Smooth had written what had transpired when he followed the messenger away from the poker table. The notes were in an odd shorthand that probably made sense to the writer. After a few minutes of puzzling, Cheerilee managed to work it out.
The pony who had brought a note to Silverwing had gone into the hotel, speaking briefly with a bellhop before going upstairs. He had entered room 216. Smooth hadn’t managed to get any other information, except to notice that there was a faint smell that might have been fresh produce. What that might be doing in a hotel room was anypony’s guess.
Cheerilee listened carefully at the door. A ventilation fan in the room blotted out most of the sound. It would be terribly embarrassing to kick the door off its hinges only to discover that she’d gotten the wrong room, so instead Cheerilee knocked.
There was a squeak of bedsprings and somepony came to the door. Cheerilee made sure she was visible in the peephole.
“What do you want?” asked a voice.
“I talked with Silverwing a little after the game ended,” she said. “He sent me up here.”
After a moment, the door unlocked and opened just enough for the stallion inside to peer out with interest. “What can I do for you?”
Cheerilee took out a bag of unspent bits. “Can I come in and talk about it?”
The door opened wider and Cheerilee stepped over the threshold, looking around. The hotel bed was wrinkled, but still roughly made as if the room’s occupant had been only resting on it. Two suitcases with vegetables in them were propped open against the wall.
“So what do these do?” asked the mare. Surely nopony would be selling regular produce with such secrecy.
The stallion frowned. Clearly he wasn’t an idiot. “Why are you here if you don’t already know?”
Cheerilee sighed. “Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can either be nice and tell me what’s with the vegetables before going with the local police, or I can beat it out of you and give you to the Royal Guard.”
Smart though he may have been, the stallion made the worst decision of his life. He swung a hoof at Cheerilee. The mare caught the blow on the side of her face, absorbing it like she was made of stone. Surprised, the criminal took a few steps back. Cheerilee hurled the bag of bits at him. It wasn’t very heavy, but the speed she put on the throw was deadly.
The stallion’s limp body hit the floor. Cheerilee retrieved the bag from the crater it had made in his face and licked blood from the fabric. Killing had unfortunately become a way of life since the schoolteacher had gotten her fangs. It troubled her sometimes, but she could usually justify it as self-defense.
Turning to the vegetables, Cheerilee picked up a cucumber. She inspected it, finding nothing wrong with the outside. The mare’s body wouldn’t let her eat anything, so she didn’t try to taste it. Instead, she broke it open to look at the inside and discovered a glass vial filled with a green powder.
Cheerilee didn’t know if the cucumber had been purposely grown around the vial or if it had been inserted magically. She checked another vegetable and found the same thing inside.
The schoolteacher quickly packed up the two suitcases. She didn’t know if anypony besides the dead one on the floor had access to the room, but it seemed best not to leave the altered produce behind. Her own room was not far away, and she transported the luggage there.
After making a few additions to Smooth’s notebook, Cheerilee came back downstairs, spotting the familiar crowd of six mares. They had drifted closer to the table where Smooth was still playing.
Deciding she could still stay unnoticed, Cheerilee carefully made her way over to the poker table while using anything and anypony she could as cover. She saw Smooth looked nervous, and with good reason. He’d lost more than a hundred grand. The chips he had left amounted to barely seventy thousand. As if sensing easy prey, a few other players had joined the game. Cheerilee decided to tell him to quit, and they would regroup and come up with a new plan. The Princess and the EIA should probably know about the green powder.
The schoolteacher made a show of looking disapprovingly at the reduced pile of chips, which made Smooth swallow hard. The friendly, rotund pony gave Cheerilee a shrug as if to say, Don’t be too hard on him. It’s just the luck of the draw. Silverwing wore a smirk.
Cheerilee bent down to Smooth’s ear, but before she could speak, a shriek cut the air. “There’s a dead pony upstairs!”
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Awesome.
There's is insidiousness and incentive in equal measure in that picture. having read a vampire Cherilee story through today..... High time to start another
Yay for Countdess de la Cheer. There really was no other option than -Countess.- We were Counting on it, really. And thus starts the body Count. Are all the suspects acCounted for? A Countess at the table acCountable? preposterous! Presumptious, with veggies most volumptious and inserts suspiciously insidious.
Still tingles painfully that she doesn't pull her punches, ever. Getting mangled is usually the better of several options when facing a rather harmless looking school teacher.
When anyone asks, it is vitally important that you say "I walked into the door. And fell down the stairs. While being mauled by timber wolves."
...
"It was a big door. And a lot of stairs. And very angry timber wolves."
Alright, I favorited this.
Now time to read it!
Also, is that a mane 6 character tag I see?
This is gonna be good!
...Exactly how long has Cheerilee been doing vampire stuff in this story?
1232423
Second paragraph:
In the decade that she’d been working for Princess Luna
I should make things more obvious. I am not good at details
CURSE YOU, TNaB, YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS!
I'm reminded of that one scene in Freemans Mind where he wonders how he's gonna explain a half dozen acts of self-defense to a court.
I'm anxious to see how our visitors from Ponyville to Vampire Cheerilees usual hijinks.
Instant favorite,
Will read later.
Keep VC coming, one of my favorite story lines.
I don't know if the overall story of vamp Cheerilee will ever go in this direction but I kind of want her to discover the joy of hunters. Get her a good rival, her own Van Helsing ya know? (hunters arent usually known for making exceptions to the whole all supernaturals are evil thing) dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
Cheerilee should just get the EIS guy to run interference with the Mane Six. "Those mares know who I am, and I can't let them see me here. Keep them busy and away from this table!" (He's obviously no good at poker, might as well make some use of him...)
1232437 HEY!
)
what would you do if you found yourlef in the MLP:FIM Universe?
(I would have a mental brake-down
Before I read this, based on the description alone... WUT?
*Added to Read Later*
1234954 Probably something like this.
Wooooo! More vampire Cheerilee! Keep the good stuff coming!
InbeforeFeatured!
Damn, failed again.
Finally, a vampony fic with a 'comedy' tag. Hopefully this one won't take itself too seriously. Because the cross-genre of vampires in Equestria has, from my experience, always been laughable. Most end up being either "Twilight" style angsty garbage or loose reworkings of "Underworld"... which is another series I find chronically aggravating.
What is it with vampires? I fail to see the draw. They're just like mosquitoes, ticks, biting flies, and lice. Pests that need to be squashed. In fact, "Mighty Max" did a very clever episode in which vampires were in fact demonic biting flies!
There's no effort to make the mythos 'fit' Equestria. It's an incomplete genre-melding.
Yay More Cheerilee.
1235662
You said "Finally" so I don't know if you caught this, but this is actually the fourth installment of the Vampire Cheerilee Series of which most are comedies.
Cheerilee just killed him, I hope this means she will face moral quandaries in the near future.
1236218 No I hadn't caught this series before. I shall take a look.
>>> Cheerilee wondered if the money Silverwing was transporting would be with him. That seemed like a lot of bits to carry around, even with the new paper currency. >>>
Luna reads and is ENRAGED!! "PAPER MONEY!!?? WHAT FALLACIOUS NONSENSE IS THIS?! HOW CANST STRIPS OF PRESSED WOOD PULP AND COTTON BE GRANTED SUCH VALUE?! TIS TREASON!!"
Luna is a Ron Paul supporter.
This isn't exactly comedy yet. It's more like, if James Bond was a female equine vampire.
See, a comedy would have had the scene in the room play out like this:
Cheeriliee threw the bag of bits at the stallion, but the hyper-velocity projectile just bounced off his face the same way his hoof had fallen off hers. The... exact... same... uh-oh. "Say, are you a vampire too?" The stallion looked shocked! "Well... yeah!" Cheerilee laughed, "Wow, what are the odds? Wanna trade sucking stories?" The stallion loosened up, "I got a good one, two barbers and a Diamond Dog walked into a bar...GACK!" He looked down to see a wooden stake sticking out of his chest. "I say, bad form, whot?" He promptly shriveled up and crumbled to dust. "What a n00b," Cheerilee spat. "Experienced vampires never suck and tell!"
Man, she is getting cold! Just killed that stallion for throwing a punch, no idea what he's done before or what's even going on!
...oh well
1237189
I might have to use that.
1237189
i can smell the corn from here.......... stil lolled though
Badass Cherrilee is badass.
2480263 Yeah, that's Cheerilee for ya.
2480375
It'd been more awesome if she gave a look that said: I'm not impressed or Was that supposed to hurt?
“Equestrian Intelligence Agency,” said Smooth.
Equestrian Intelligence Agency.
E.I.A.
So what you're telling me is that...
The princess had an agency, eee-ai-eee-ai-aaye!
10347322
It's canon now