Nightmare Night
Ponyville: Golden Oak Library, Night
Goten was excited for tonight because of how fun it sounded. Back home, there wasn’t a night which saw a festival and tasty treats. Despite his eagerness to get out there and enjoy Nightmare Night, he knew it’d be more fun with Twilight and Spike.
Spike was dressed as a dragon while Goten had paid Rarity to make him a replica of Bardock’s attire. Despite how much he liked his new hair, the Half-Saiyan had to admit it’d have sold the costume. Still, nothing a wig couldn’t fix.
“Jeez Goten.” Spike teased. “Think you might’ve gone a bit overboard with your costume?”
“Nonsense.” Goten replied. “If I’m going to dress up, I’ll go all the way with it.”
“Whatever floats your boat.” Spike commented. “At least you’re ready unlike somepony.” He yelled up the stairs. “Come on Twilight! We're gonna be late for the Nightmare Night Festival!” Twilight came down wearing a Star Swirl the Bearded Costume. “Huh? Are you that one kooky grandpa from Ponyville Retirement Village?”
“Seriously Spike?” Goten questioned. “Was I the only one who paid attention when we were with Rarity seeing our costumes? I’m Bardock and she’s Star Swirl.”
“Not to mention, I’m fairly certain I gave you a unicorn history book Spike.” Twilight remarked. “Did you ever read it?”
Spike had no answer, so he was overjoyed to hear knocking at the door. “Oh, that sounds important.”
He darted off causing Goten to chuckle. “Yeah, I’m going to lean towards he didn’t.”
“At least you remembered what this costume was supposed to be.” Twilight stated.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Goten stated. “History has always fascinated me, and it’s not like everyone gets the chance to learn a whole other world’s history. Gohan would be so jealous.”
Once Spike opened the door, he yelped at the sight of the young fillies and their costumes. “Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!”
Granny Smith was their chaperone for the night.
“Hi, everypony. Great costumes.” Twilight told everypony before greeting the old mare. “Happy Nightmare Night, Granny Smith.”
“I should have been asleep five hours ago.” Granny stated grouchily.
“Well, hopefully you get some sleep soon.” Goten stated. “Still, it is mighty kind of you to take out the ponies whose parents/guardians couldn’t despite how tired you are.”
“Pipsqueak the pirate, at your service.” A new foal student from Trottingham declared as he stepped forward. “It's my very first Nightmare Night!”
“Since you moved here from Trottingham?” Twilight asked.
“No, my very first Nightmare Night ever!” Pipsqueak told.
“Hey, same here little guy.” Goten stated just as excited. “From what I hear, we should love it!” He then put some candy in his bag. “Here, enjoy some sweets.”
“Enough chitchat! Time is candy!” Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere, as she usually does, dressed as a chicken before picking the bowl clean.
“Hey, those treats weren’t just for you Pinkie!” Goten chided.
“I regret nothing!” Pinkie exclaimed before taking off.
“Ugh.” Twilight sighed and shook her head before looking to her charges. “Come on you two. Let’s get out there and enjoy the night.”
Ponyville Streets
Twilight, Goten, and Spike made their way to the festival, and it was as you would kind of expect. The festival was full of games such as bobbing for apples, chucking pumpkins out of catapults at targets, and a ball toss game.
Goten was munching on a caramel covered apple as the group walked by Big Macintosh pulling a cart full of ponies giving them a hay ride. There was even a small-town band playing and a dance floor nearby.
Last, but certainly not least, there were vendors selling all kinds of sweets. Naturally, Spike and Goten didn’t forget to get their own stockpile from everything available. As they walked, the group attracted attention based on their costumes… at least, Goten did.
Pinkie suddenly came up to them with a huge bag of candy along with the other fillies. “Twilight and Goten, look at our haul! Can you believe it?” Pinkie stated between eating from her haul of candy. “And then, we went to Cheerilee's house, and got a bunch more goodies. Didn't we, Pip?”
“Sure did!” Pip cheered with a smile.
As Pinkie was talking, Goten noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Gilda was moving a small cloud into position with Rainbow right beside her. The pair wore Shadowbolts costumes.
“And then, we had to stop and wait for Granny Smith, and… Goten you, ok? What are you looking at?”
It was too late as Rainbow kicked the cloud causing a lightning bolt to strike Pinkie in the butt. She squawked like a chicken and hightailed it out of there as did the kids.
“Seriously Rainbow and Gilda?” Twilight chided. “That was not very nice!”
“Lighten up, old-timer.” Rainbow declared. “This is the best night of the year for pranks!”
“Couldn’t agree more Dash.” Gilda declared.
“Oh, look what you did to Spike.” Goten was currently helping the dragon by patting his back hoping to dislodge the candy he was choking on. “For crying out loud!”
“It's all in good fun.” Rainbow retorted. “Oh! Oh! There's another group over there!”
“Heh, let’s go get them.” Gilda declared. “Oh, great costumes by the way you three!”
Once they were gone, the trio moved on through the town only to come across Applejack who was dressed as a scarecrow.
“Happy Nightmare Night, Applejack!” Goten, Spike and Twilight greeted.
“Howdy, Spike, Twilight, and Goten!” AJ greeted. “Nice costumes.”
“Thanks!” Spike smiled. “I'm a dragon.”
“Hey Twilight, I bet with that beard you're some sorta country music singer.” AJ commented. “Anyways, since y'all are here, ya' feel like bobbin' for an apple?”
Before Goten could speak up, Ditzy accidentally pulled out the plug of the barrel, instead of an apple, draining the whole thing. “I was, but I’ll come back later.”
At that moment, Mayor Mare, who was dressed a clown, got everypony's attention. “Thank you, everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival!” Everypony cheered and applauded. “Now, all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of... Nightmare Moon!”
“Spooky voice might work better if she wasn't dressed like that.” Spike stated.
“You can say that again.” Goten chuckled.
What came next was green smoke followed by Zecora who was dressed as a witch doctor. “Follow me, and very soon, you'll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.”
The group of colts and fillies, along with Pinkie, had joined her. Twilight, Goten, and Spike decided it might be a good time and decided to join them as well.
Everfree Forest
“Listen close, my little dears. I'll tell you where you got your fears of Nightmare Night, so dark and scary.” She then blew on some green glitter and more of that green mist came around,projecting some sort of conjuring magic to show an image of Nightmare Moon.
“Of Nightmare Moon, who makes you wary.” It was getting to a lot of them, but Goten had faced down the actual being. “Every year, we put on a disguise to save ourselves from her searching eyes.” She then used some magic to make her eyes seem menacing.
“But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing; to gobble up ponies in one quick swing!” When Zecora said this, Pinkie and Pipsqueak screamed. “Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees no pony, she passes by. So, if she comes and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year!”
Pipsqueak tugged on her clothing. “Miss Zecora, if we wear costumes to hide from Nightmare Moon, how come we still need to give her some of our candy?”
“A perfect question, my little friend, for Nightmare Moon you must not offend.” Zecora blew more green sparkling glitter down and more conjuring magic came around. “Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won't return to eat you!”
The illusion of Nightmare Moon charged in and chomped at Pinkie Pie, the colts, and the fillies leading them all to panic. “Quick everypony! Just dump some candy and get out of here!”
As they did, the wind started to pick up. Thunder sounded, and it started raining from the night sky; however, a royal carriage like no other arrived over Ponyville.
“It's Nightmare Moon! Run!” Pinkie screamed.
All the fillies and colts screamed and ran with Pinkie; however, as lighting struck near the carriage, a silhouette of a familiar pony showed.
“Huh… Maybe I should have told everyone Luna was coming.” Goten commented.
“Wait. Princess Luna was coming, and you knew about it?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah.” Goten nodded. “Is that so surprising? We tend to trade letters quite often. Anyways, she is here, so let’s go greet our honorary guest.”
Goten took off back in the direction of Ponyville with Twilight, Spike and Zecora following behind him.
Ponyville
Everypony was screaming due to the sudden change in weather and unidentified pony, who seemed to be royalty, crashing the festival.
“It is Princess Luna!” Twilight exclaimed in shock and excitement.
The princess landed wearing a cloak which came off her as a bunch of bats revealing Luna still in her regressed form.
Goten observed as she approached one of the ponies who seemed to be cowering. “Wait, is everypony afraid of Luna?”
It was then Princess Luna spoke with the royal Canterlot voice. “Citizens of Ponyville, we have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real princess of the night! We are no longer a creature of nightmares, but a pony who desires your admiration! Together, we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!”
The word feast seemed to catch other ponies off guard.
“Did you hear that, everypony?” Pinkie questioned. “Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!”
Pinkie’s words caused everypony to panic and run off.
“What? No, children, no! You no longer have reason to fear us. Screams of delight is what your princess desires. Not screams of terror!” Luna was confused and stomped her hoof before approaching Mayor Mare. “Madame Mayor, thy princess of the night hath arrived.”
She stuck her hoof out to give a formal greeting; however, it seemed that no pony wanted to return it. “What is the matter with you all?” She asked before giving up. “Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional, royal farewell.”
She then walked off; however, it seemed this wasn’t right in the eyes of Twilight and Goten.
“I'm gonna go talk to her.” Twilight stated.
“She is my friend, so I'm right behind you.” Goten then looked to the dragon. “Spike, see if you can calm the town ponies.”
Everfree Forest
“I honestly don't know why they were all so scared of her.” Twilight looked to Goten. “She’s not the Mare in the Moon anymore, right?”
“I’ve spent a good amount of time with Luna, and we’ve exchanged plenty of letters.” Goten stated. “I can guarantee she’s no Nightmare Moon. She’s just a lost and confused alicorn. Very unsure about her place in the world.”
They soon spotted Luna laying before the statue of Nightmare Moon. Her head hung low, and she seemed very discouraged.
Twilight was the first to approach her. “Princess Luna? Hi, my name is…”
Before she could get her name out, Luna noticed Twilight’s costume. “Star Swirl the Bearded. Commendable costume! Thou even got the bells right.”
“Thank you!” Twilight was excited about the praise. “Finally, somepony who gets my costume!” She quickly realized she was getting off topic. “Uh, I just came to welcome you to our celebration! My name is…”
“Twilight Sparkle.” Princess Luna finished before speaking with the Canterlot Royal Voice. “It was thou, along with young Goten, who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us taking our dark powers away.”
“That was good, right?” Goten asked.
“Of course, dear Goten. We could not…” She sighed. “Be happier. Is that not clear to you two?”
They got closer with Goten even sitting by her side.
“Well, you kinda sound like you're yelling at us.” Twilight stated.
“But this is the traditional royal Canterlot voice!” Luna declared. “It is tradition to speak using the royal "we", and to use this much volume when addressing our subjects!”
“There’s also the fact that you don’t seem particularly happy with being yourself.” Goten stated. “Do you still wish you were Nightmare?”
“Oh, heavens no!” Luna exclaimed. “I never want to be her again. I just…” She sighed. “Everything I’ve done and try to do goes wrong. All my past mistakes keep cropping up, and I continue to make mistakes. To make matters worse, I don’t have my original form.”
“Look, I know it’s tough Luna.” Goten stated. “You long for the power you once had and all those mistakes keep piling up; however, perhaps you just haven’t learned enough from them.”
“What do you mean?” Luna asked.
“What my student is trying to say is this.” Bardock stated. “You’ve made many mistakes. Nightmare Moon, the Children of the Night, and Tantabus. Maybe there’s more and maybe there will be more; however, no one is infallible.”
“To prove that point, let me tell you about Vegeta.” Goten stated. “He was a proud Saiyan warrior who exterminated planets. He came to earth and fought my father before losing to him as well as what remained of our friends. He was a bad guy, but slowly began to change.
He worked with my big brother because he had to. After that, he helped fight the Androids and Cell. Eventually, he relapsed and helped release the greatest threat to Earth in Majin Buu. He repented and attempted to sacrifice himself for the world.”
“You made mistakes like Vegeta, but he ended up learning and growing from them.” Bardock explained. “He didn’t wallow in self-pity and chose to grow. From what I’ve seen, he became a warrior as I define it, and you can to as long as you try.”
“I see.” Luna was absorbing everything she had heard before nodding. “Yes, I need to own up to my mistakes while using them as the catalyst for growth rather than regression. If someone like this Vegeta can become a true warrior, I can to.”
“Just remember Luna, you’re not alone.” Goten stated. “You have me, Celestia, and even Bardock. Sure, your friendship has been tested, but I know he’s still your friend all the same. Everything you two went through couldn’t be erased that easily.”
“It’s true Luna.” Bardock crossed his arms. “Honestly, I’m still disappointed in you, but that doesn’t mean our friendship was lost along the way.”
“You also have me princess.” Twilight nodded. “I would like to be your friend as well.”
Luna looked at this small group and smiled. “We would like to thank thee for the support.”
“Look princess, if you want to be met with a warmer reception, your approach has to change.” Twilight suggested.
“Change our approach?” Luna asked.
“Just speak normally as you have been with us.” Bardock stated
“Oh, I see.” Luna looked at the group. “We have been locked away on that rock in the sky for a thousand years and are not sure we can do so without assistance.” Princess Luna explained. “Would you help me with this?”
“I think we know a pony who can help.” Goten stated. “Before we go, I ask that you bear with her. She is very shy and panics greatly on this day.”
“We understand and shall do our best not to scare or upset this pony.” Luna declared.
Fluttershy’s Cottage
Twilight gave a firm knock at her door causing Fluttershy to yell at them. “Go away! There’s no candy here, and visitors are not welcome on Nightmare Night!”
“It’s just us!” Twilight shouted.
“Oh, it is just you and Goten you.” Fluttershy stated as she opened the door only to open it further and see the princess of the night. “Oh, Nightmare Moon as…” She realized who she saw. “Nightmare Moon!” She yelped and slammed her door “Ahhh!”
Twilight laughed nervously. “Just wait here with Goten as this’ll only take a second.”
Twilight opened the door with her magic, and after a bunch of crashing about, she got Fluttershy to come outside. “Fluttershy, you remember Princess Luna, right?”
“Yeah, remember?” Goten chimed in. “She’s the one we saved through the elements.”
“Charmed.” Luna spoke calmly.
“Uhm, likewise.” Fluttershy timidly spoke.
“Twilight Sparkle and Goten hath spoken of the help you may give us in better fitting in with this new age.” Luna declared. “We ask thou teach us what thy knows.”
“Oh, I’m not really the pony to ask.” Fluttershy stated softly. “Y-You have Bardock, Twilight, and Goten.” She retreated into her home. “Count on them.”
“Huh, I didn’t think the holiday got to her like this.” Goten commented once Fluttershy was back inside. “That’s really timid and scared even for her.” He looked to Luna. “Sorry about that princess, but she is right. You do still have us.”
“Hopefully, that will be enough.” Luna stated worriedly.
“Don’t worry, it will be.” Twilight declared.
“We’ll do everything we can to help you fit in.” Goten added
Ponyville
As the trio arrived, they noticed that Spike had done a good job getting everypony to loosen up. Heck, it was even a full-fledged party now; however, once Luna was seen by everypony, they paused to look at her. Then, they shrieked and shrunk back in fear.
“I am not certain of this new approach you two wish to take.” Luna stated sadly.
“Look, we know Fluttershy didn’t work out, but Applejack is one of the most likeable ponies around.” Twilight explained.
“A pony like her is certain to have some ideas on how to fix your image.” Goten added.
They approached the country mare in question who was dressed as a friendly scarecrow pony. Pipsqueak was there too, but he almost fell in the bobbing barrel of apples.
“Whoa, careful there.” Applejack scooped him up.
Once the colt was on the ground, he ran along to do something else. When AJ turned around, she noticed Luna causing her to quiver and shake in place on her belly.
“Applejack, the princess is looking for advice on how to improve her image.” Twilight stated with a soft smile.
“Really?” Applejack asked sarcastically.
“Applejack, Luna is my friend.” Goten stated firmly. “I would like it if others didn’t flee or quiver in fear of her.”
“Oh, right.” That made AJ change her tone. “Look Princess Luna, all you gotta do is have the right attitude. Loosen up a bit, be positive, play a few games, and have some fun.”
“Fun? What is this "fun" thou speaks of?” Luna asked.
“Remember those board games we played the first time I came to visit you in Canterlot?” Goten asked. “It’s pretty much that except with more people.” He brought Luna to the spider toss game. “Here, you can play this and show everypony you can have fun.”
“Pray tell, what purpose do these serve?” Luna asked as she held one of the toy spiders.
“Try to land the sp-sp-spiders on the web.” The pony running the game, Cherry Berry, explained.
“You can do it, princess!” Applejack cheered.
So, the princess tossed a good one landing the spider on the web. “Ha! Your princess enjoys this game, and it is most certainly fun! In what other ways may we experience it?”
Goten motioned for her to follow to one of the catapults nearby. “Here Luna, this is a fun device, and a cool game. All you got to do is load it up with a pumpkin and try to hit a target over there.”
Once Luna loaded the catapult, Twilight shouted, “Fire when ready, princess!”
With a serious look on her face, Luna fired the catapult which launched the pumpkin into the target. “Ha ha! The fun has been doubled!”
Everypony in the vicinity shouted and cheered joyfully.
“Alright, why don't you try bobbin' for apples?” Applejack asked. “We got the best apples in Equestria, princess.”
“Please fair Applejack, you may call me Luna as Goten does.” Luna nodded. “Thank you for helping to inform me of what fun with others means. Please show me to these bopping apples.”
Then, Luna and Goten noticed that Pipsqueak was unsupervised, and he ended up falling into the barrel of apples.
“Hold on little buddy!” Goten exclaimed before blitzing over and pulling the colt out. “You really should watch yourself around things like this.”
“Whoa, I sure will.” Pip smiled. “Thank you for saving me!”
“No problem.” Goten declared as Twilight, Luna, and Applejack joined him. “Now, why don’t you go play a few games and have some treats.”
“Right.” Pip ran off. “Thanks again!”
“That was a most impressive display of speed Goten.” Luna declared.
“Eh, it’s no big deal.” Goten shrugged.
“Yeah, Goten’s always there when you need him.” AJ added. “If it’s not helping out somepony or beating an Ursa Major, it’s doing all the odd jobs he can.”
“I see.” Luna nodded. “You are a most thoughtful being Goten.”
“Well, the way I see it is that I got all this power.” Goten shrugged. “Might as well put it to use making my own way and helping people out. Anyways, let’s get back to the festivities.”
As the night wore on, Luna played and ate with the townsfolk really making them warm up to her. Even Pinkie and her group warmed up to the princess of the night. Eventually, Luna and Goten ended up at a stall eating some funnel cake.
“So, how have you been enjoying yourself Luna?” Goten asked.
“Oh, I have been enjoying myself immensely dearest Goten; however, I am still uncertain about this night.” Luna commented. “Do not get me wrong, for it is a fun night; however, the implications of what Nightmare Night stands for…”
“Luna, I’ve read my fair share of books on Nightmare Night, and I can tell you without a doubt that it is one of the most popular celebrations ponies have. It's not just about the frights or to show that ponies have lived through another year. It’s about coming together.
Those who partake in this holiday can show off their creativity, beings who’ve inspired them, or just plain dress up. Sure, this came about because of Nightmare Moon, but this is one result which is positive. Despite how bad Nightmare Moon was, something good came from it.”
Luna took a moment to stare out at the festival before smiling. “Thank you, Goten. I believe I needed to hear that.” She looked to him. “This night may not have turned out how I assumed it would, and I got off to a rocky start; however, I am glad I came.”
“Well, the night is still young.” Goten smirked. “I think I have an idea to make it an even better night to be remembered. The question is, do you trust me?”
“Of course, I trust you.” Luna stated. “What is it that you are planning though?”
“You’ll find out fair princess.” Goten smiled. “First, we need to get a little help from quite a few ponies. Oh, are you still capable of transformation?”
“Despite my lack of power, it is one of the few things I can pull off.” Luna stated.
“Perfect.” Goten started moving. “Then, we have work to do.”
Later…
“Gather around ye pony folk for this is no joke.” Zecora spoke up. “We all have candy left to give, so that Nightmare Moon might let us live.”
“She’s right my little ponies.” Mayor Mare declared. “What would Nightmare Night be without the annual candy offering?”
“Plus, there’s no need to worry if Nightmare Moon does show.” Goten walked on over and crossed his arms. “I’ve tangled with her before, and I’m certain I could do it again no problem. Still, a peaceful solution is the better solution overall.”
“Goten, you look like you’re planning something.” Spike commented. “What’s going on?”
“Sorry Spike, but you must wait.” Goten smiled. “Though, I can promise this will be fun.”
“Ya know, you’re right Goten.” AJ declared. “Come on kids. Let’s go give this candy to the Nightmare Moon statue.
Everfree Forest
The fillies and colts carried their bags of candy to the statue and tossed them at the statue’s feet. Before they could leave, the wind started to pick up again.
“Citizens of Ponyville! You were wise to bring this candy to me. I am pleased with your offering. In fact, I may just eat it instead of eating you!” Princess Luna appeared in her Nightmare Moon form scaring everypony there.
Goten, oddly enough, sensed a small power increase from Luna; however, he brushed it off. After all, she was exerting quite a bit of power. The Half-Saiyan merely stood his ground while everyone else ran. Once they were gone, Luna reverted to normal sweating and panting.
She spat out a pair of fake teeth before looking to Goten. “I am not certain this was wise.”
“Just give it a moment Princess.” Goten declared. “This will run its course.”
“What do you mean by run its course?” Luna asked confused.
At that moment, Pipsqueak come over to the princess and tugged on her mane. “Princess Luna?” She faced the young colt. “Do you suppose you could come back next year and scare us again?”
“Child?” Luna blinked in confusion. “Art thou saying that thou likest me to scaring you?”
“It's really fun! Scary, but fun! We all enjoyed it!” Pipsqueak declared.
Some of the other children were still standing back and waved to her with nervous smiles.
“It is?” Princess Luna asked still confused.
“Yeah!” Pip exclaimed. “This Nightmare Night has been more than I could have ever hopped for. In fact, it’s become my new favorite night of the whole year.”
“Well, I’ll have to be sure to come back next year then!” Luna declared joyfully.
“Thank you, Princess Luna.” Pipsqueak ran back to the other fillies and colts. “You're my favorite princess ever!"
“A big part of this night is that most ponies enjoy being scared.” Goten declared. “Perhaps, the fear was real before; however, this night saw those ponies in your company. They got to know the friend I’ve come to know. Through that, they knew you weren’t trying to scare them wrong.”
“It appears shutting myself away has not been healthy.” Luna looked to her night sky. “Times really have changed to the point that ponies can enjoy what my night brings.”
“That’s the changing of the times.” Goten declared. “Back then, none of them could experience your night because there wasn’t much to experience. Now, advancements have been made allowing for so much to come from the night. So, want to get back to the party?”
“Yes, we should.” Luna nodded. “Thank you, Goten.”
Ponyville
So, the festival continued well into the peak hours of the night.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
When you first sent me to Ponyville, I didn't know anything about friendship, and tonight, I met somepony who was having the same problem. Your sister, Princess Luna! Thanks to her and Goten, I’ve learned one of the best things you can do with friendship. That is to give it to others and help them find it themselves!
I am happy to report that Ponyville has learned that even if somepony seems a little intimidating, even scary, when you offer them your friendship, you'll discover a whole new pony underneath. And even if my Star Swirl the Bearded costume didn't go over, this still turned out to be the best Nightmare Night we ever had.
"Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle."
Spike readied the letter; however, Rainbow and Gilda were planning to shock them. Before they could let it loose, both were struck in the flanks by lighting sending them scurrying. When Spike and Twilight looked up, they spotted Princess Luna on a raincloud.
Goten was beside her chuckling. “Thanks Luna.”
“Anytime Goten.” Luna returned.
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This is really good, this story is so well written. I applaud you and I hope there's more in the future .thank you for the good story.
Okay I had been saving this until I found the most current chapter. Why didn't Goten just ask Bulla if she was Trunks's sister? I mean he knows Trunks's last name is Briefs, he's knows that Bulma has blue hair, Bulla looks similar to Bulma has the stances of her father when fighting, she can turn super Saiyan, and finally Goten knows that time travel is possible and that Trunks has a future version of himself. That means that it's quite possible since she said her last name he would put two and two together.
So why did you have Goten drop the idiot ball on this particular thing when you've expressed multiple times in your story that he is far smarter than he looks? Seriously the moment Bulla introduced herself he should have realized that she was a possible future member of Trunks's family at the very least considering the name and resemblance to her mother.
By the way I suggest that Goten learn magic, considering the clothes beam is canonically a mixture of magic and ki (magic to create the items ki to provide the energy to do so) there is a president for combining magic and ki into attacks and obviously Bulla is doing so that's how Goten can't sense her and she's using more magic than Ki (along with possibly being in ultra instinct, a godly form thus removing her Ki from mortal senses. Honestly I get Bulla being a obstacle and she said but if she attempted to be nice to Goten and established that she actually has a connection to people she and him both know it would be far better than just being an antagonist, you know set up a rivalry with her just like her father and Goku. It even makes more sense as they are both the second child of incredibly powerful beings that can match gods)
If you want to have Bulla not basically say that she is actually a friendly Force just not have her use her last name remove it from the chapter and you can still have her as a mystery to others but the audience will know that she's either the version from GT, a future version from Super, or the one from Dragon Ball multiverse (to be honest I really think Dragon Ball multiverse would work since that would make her Goten's younger sister using the name of her mother instead of Vegito as Vegito has no last name. Plus her hyper aggressive attitude makes sense considering what she's like in her higher super Saiyan forms in multiverse.)
11180292
You know, fair. You raise a lot of good points, and I promise to fix the Bulla situation, one of the ways you suggested, when I get back around to writing this story. Thank you for taking the time to provide constrictive criticism.
11181201
Thank you and I hope you're doing well
11181768
No, I'm doing well. I'm just currently entrenched into another fanfiction on another site that keeps pulling me into write it
11181773
Been there doing that