After Maria said her word, the crowd in the Canterlot Throne Room exploded with loud shouts, yells, gasps, faints, and an overall chaos. The girl wildly looked around, sinking into her bed - for some reason, it was there as well - hoping something, anything would happen that will help her understand what just happened.
"Everyone, the court is over for today," a strong yet gentle feminine voice spoke over the crowd, and the noise drastically went down, "Please, vacate the throne room."
Maria closed her eyes and put her arms over her head. She realized it felt weird - not only did she had to move her arms awkwardly to reach the position they were now in, there was something protruding from her forehead. On top of that, she felt some sort of weight on her shoulder blades, and she felt as if there was yet another pair of limbs.
As she thought about her body, the crowd exited the room, making it grow quiet. Soon, Maria couldn't hear anything beyond her own breath and the heartbeat that made her think she would soon explode from the inside. She didn't want to open her eyes just yet, she didn't want to face this weird reality. All she wanted was to go back to sleep and to wake up in her old life, however bad it was.
"You don't have to be afraid," the same voice said to her in a gentle tone, "Who are you? Can you understand me?"
Maria slowly raised her head and opened her eyes. She realized there was something between the two of them, and she went cross-eyed trying to take a good look at what it was. Usually, it was her nose, but right now, it was longer, more square, with larger nostrils, and, most importantly, light-gray fur. She looked at her arms - they were no longer arms but legs, ending in hooves, all covered in the same light-gray fur as her... muzzle, she realized. She looked at her back and saw a pair of wings growing out of it, breaking out of her pink pajama top. Looking further down revealed a light-blue tail.
Then it dawned upon her.
"Srabotalo..." she whispered to herself in native Russian.
"Sorry, I didn't quite get that," the big horse spoke to her softly, standing at a respectable distance in front of the girl.
"It worked, my wish worked," she spoke up in English, "I am now... a horse with wings. A-and horn."
"Pony, not a horse," came a gentle correction, "Can you please tell me who you are?"
"I'm Maria," the girl replied, finally looking up at the imposing figure of the horse in front of her, "And... I made a wish. Now I'm... here."
"What wish did you make?"
"I wished to live a different life," she said slowly, "My gosh... it really is true..."
She tried to stand up but found herself immediately falling to the bed - a pony physique did not easily allow for a usual bipedal stance. Then she yelled into the mattress.
"I'm a pony..." she said, muffled, "This... merzavets! Of course he did this! Should've known to not trust a genie," she groaned, pushing her now pony face harder into the mattress.
"Can you tell me what happened?" the big horse came a bit closer and sat down.
Maria sighed and rose back up, feeling extremely uncomfortable being in the middle of the giant hall. However, she was soothed somewhat by the look the big horse was giving her - it was a soft, gentle look, one only a caring mother could give. It was not the look of expectation and hidden disappointment her own mother had, neither was it the bored look of her father or the blank look of her teachers. No, there was some genuine care in those purple eyes, making her want to trust the big ho- pony.
"Um... who are you?" she asked, "And why do you speak English?"
"I'm Celestia, and we're speaking Equestrian," the mare tilted her head in confusion, "Do you know where you are?"
"No idea," Maria admitted, "I... uh... I was living in a city with my mom, and... um... I wished to have a different live, and a, uh, genie said he'd make my wish become real. And... I'm here now."
"Have you seen ponies before?" Celestia continued, carefully guiding the conversation without forcing it.
"Yeah, but they weren't like you or those," she vaguely gestured in the direction of where the crowd used to be just minutes ago, "None could talk. And I was... uh... like an ape, but without fur, and I walked only on two legs."
"Very interesting," the alicorn said, her tone unclear in whether she believed Maria or not, "So, you wished to have a different life and appeared here in the Throne Room?"
"It's a throne room?" Maria looked behind the alicorn and saw the throne, "Oh..."
"I can help you figure things out," Celestia offered, "Now, can you walk?"
"I can try," the girl said with an uncertain shrug, and then struggled for a solid minute to get down from her bed. Once she did, she stood up on her wobbly four legs, "Um, I never walked on four legs before."
"I'll catch you if you fall, don't worry," the mare assured her, "Just try it."
Maria thought about how to walk for a moment and came to a conclusion that, naturally, she had to do the same thing with both pairs of her legs in order to walk. So, if she wanted to go forward, she needed to raise both right legs, then tilt her body forward, and place the hooves on the ground. Which she, surprisingly for herself, managed to do without slipping and falling. Then she did the same with her left legs. Then again with the right legs.
"You should pick up your wings," Celestia advised, "It wouldn't do them good being dragged on the floor."
Maria nodded and looked at her back. Moving her wings felt weird, although it wasn't unlike moving her arms. She looked at the alicorn and took note of how her wings were and then did her best to replicate it. Soon, her wings were more or less comfortably resting on her back in a folded position.
"You're doing well," the mare encouraged, "Can you please do a few more steps?"
The girl nodded with uncertainty, then walked forward. She seemed to get a hang of it, although she had to go slowly in order to control her walking. She felt she would mess up if she sped it up even a tiny bit.
"You should land your hind hooves before you land your front hooves," Celestia advised once more, "It would be easier, you'll see."
Maria nodded and then tried that. And indeed, it was easier and felt far more natural, although she almost stumbled on her own legs after a few steps. However, she was getting a hang of it.
"So... where am I?" she asked while walking around her bed.
"You're in the city of Canterlot, more specifically in the Canterlot Castle. This city is in the country called Equestria on the Equus continent on the planet Vita."
The eyes of the girl widened - Canterlot, Equestria... it seemed awfully familiar. Then it struck her - it was the name of the world in one of the cartoon shows, specifically My Little Pony. She had seen some older boys being weirdly obsessed with it although she never watched it herself. At this revelation, she couldn't help but stop and laugh uncontrollably for a few minutes. Tears streamed down her face as her body shook with laughter, her face becoming strained from the constant smiling, and her throat becoming dry because of laughing so hard. Celestia looked at her in confusion, unsure of how to react.
"That... genie," the girl said, huffing, "I can't believe this..."
"What can't you believe, Maria?" the alicorn asked cautiously.
"He... he... oh gosh..." she caught her breath, "He put me in a little girls' show!"
And there went another round of laughter, making her face strain even more. She even rolled on the ground belly-up, unable to contain her laughter at all. Sure, the genie granted her wish, but he also played an unbelievably huge joke on her, one nobody would ever be able to top. She was now a pony, an alicorn - she finally remembered one of the terms she had heard the boys say - in the magical country of Equestria made by some people in order to sell toys to young girls. And, for some reason, this very same thing attracted grown-up guys.
After the last of her laughter escaped her lips, she rolled over on her belly and stood back up, awkwardly wiping the tears of laughter from her face.
Meanwhile, Celestia had not a single idea of what to say - there she was in the morning court listening to nobles and common ponies alike asking for one thing after another when, out of nowhere, a bed with an alicorn, of all things, crashed straight at the foot of the throne. The mare - who was around fourteen years old at best, barely into adulthood - claimed to be from some other world and said a genie granted her wish to live a different life. And now she was laughing, and Celestia couldn't understand why. In fact, she felt sorry for her - undeniably, the genie tricked her into accepting what she would've at least thought over otherwise. However, she certainly intended to help the young alicorn, especially since the law says each alicorn, upon their ascension, becomes a princess or a prince of Equestria. Maria would need to learn many things if she were to truly live up to her title.
"I'm sorry," Maria said after she calmed down, "Um... I, uh... have to go to toilet."
"Very well, I'll show you the closest one," Celestia nodded, deciding that it would be best not to question the young mare too much. She obviously needed time to deal with her predicament, to truly understand what it entailed. Despite the oddity of the situation, the princess decided it would be best to let Maria adjust to her situation slowly, not in a rush.
The closest bathroom was hidden between the two pillars a little way behind the throne itself. First, Maria slowly but surely managed to descend the steps from the throne under the watchful gaze of the bigger alicorn, who was ready to catch her if she fell, although the girl didn't know how she'd do it without falling herself. Thankfully, they reached the entrance to the bathroom without incident despite the girl's slowness.
"Um, I'll go alone," she said.
"Call me if you have trouble with anything, Maria," Celestia nodded understandingly, using her magic to open the door, startling the girl. She glanced at the door handle enveloped in a golden aura, then at the princess' horn, which was wrapped in the same aura.
"Uh, magic?" she asked.
"Yes, it is," Celestia nodded, hiding her surprise. Had Maria never used any sort of magic before? Obviously she knew the concept of it, but what about usage? The princess decided to reserve these questions for later, "You'll be able to use it the same way if you learn. After all, you have a horn just like I do."
The girl nodded nervously and then entered the bathroom. It was quite big, featuring a couple showers that could easily fit at least two ponies the size of Celestia, as well as a couple dedicated toilet rooms almost as big as the shower rooms. There were sinks installed in the floor, and a large mirror took the entirety of the wall behind the sinks. Finally, Maria was able to look at herself in full.
She didn't know just how tall she was, but likely not taller than a meter and a half. The length of her horn added to that as well, making her total height uncertain. Her entire body was covered in light-gray fur, her mane was light-blue just like her tail, and she had a pair of big emerald eyes. Her wings were also quite big, the tips of the feathers extending past her backside. Her pink pajamas were still on her, but the top was ripped where her wings grew, and the pants had an uneven hole for her tail. Obviously, she would have to throw both of them out. But then, she'd have to go around with just her underwear, and that didn't seem like a good idea. However, she did have to note that Celestia was almost completely nude, and it didn't make her feel weird. Horses - and ponies - were always nude, and she was never bothered by that. However, when it came to herself, she wasn't sure.
In any case, she needed to relieve herself, and for that, she needed to take off her pants and underwear. Without fingers, it would definitely prove to be hard. She did her best wiggling her hind legs to loosen the pants and, after a few minutes, they finally came off. She awkwardly picked them up with her forehoof and hung them on one of the wall hooks present. She then carefully took off her underwear, but at the last moment, her pad dropped out of them. She swore under her breath and carefully picked it up. Unfortunately, it was already stained - of course, her birthday couldn't go without her period. She threw the pad into a trash bin, then walked to the door with uncertainty. She opened it slightly and peeked out.
"Um..." she said, getting the attention of Celestia, "Can I, uh, have a menstrual pad?"
"A menstrual pad?" Celestia blinked in confusion, "We ponies don't need them. We don't have external menstruation."
"Uh, okay," the girl blushed and quickly disappeared behind the door.
No external menstruation? No more pads or tampons? She couldn't help but jump in excitement at the news once she realized what it meant. No more would she have to deal with that gross stuff, no more would she have to buy any of those things she needed before, and no more would she stain her clothes on accident. However, if ponies didn't have external menstruation, then what did they have? She wasn't looking forward to feeling weird during her time of the month. She could do without it as well.
In any case, she was happy to get rid of what was her last pad. Despite her weird situation overall, she now had a reason to feel at least a bit better. With that in mind, she made her way to one of the toilet rooms, closed the door, and relieved herself. It did take some time because of how she needed to position herself, but she managed to do it anyway. However, now came the question of toilet paper. There was no toilet paper - instead, there were shower heads installed next to the toilets, and she had no idea how to use them. If she knew how to use magic, maybe she could move them telekinetically, but otherwise, she didn't know. Maybe she could just take a full shower at this point, especially knowing that she went to bed without one.
She walked out of the toilet room, got rid of her top in an extremely awkward and slow way, and then there was the issue of her bra. There was no way she'd be able to finesse her way out of it. However, thankfully, she realized she wouldn't need to put it back on - her bosom was, as she learned, in another place entirely, hidden between her legs. That explained why her underwear felt so uncomfortable - it simply wasn't shaped right.
In any case, Maria needed some help with taking her bra off. She peeked out of the room again and got the attention of Celestia.
"Um, I..." she blushed, "I need to take something off."
"Very well," the older alicorn nodded, entering the room with Maria. The girl didn't look her in the eyes, still blushing hard, "The one on your chest?"
"Yes, please," she said in a tiny voice. Effortlessly, Celestia undid the hook and eye closure that kept the bra in place, and then slid it off Maria's body. The girl then said, "Um, can I get... clothes?"
"We ponies usually don't wear clothes unless it's for a special occasion," Celestia said, hanging the bra on the same hook as the pants and top, "But, if it makes you comfortable, I'll make sure you get a robe. However, you'll have to learn to go without clothes. It's only natural."
"Okay..." the girl replied in the same tiny voice, "Um, can I be alone now?"
"Of course, my dear," the older alicorn nodded and headed out of the room, "I'll make sure you'll have a robe by the time you're done."
After the door closed, Maria sighed and sat down in front of the mirror. It obviously wasn't the first time she was nude, but this one felt different. Having fur didn't feel like being nude without it. She felt a bit more comfortable with it, even if she still wasn't anywhere near ready to appear in front of other ponies nude. What if they stare? And what about the boys, wouldn't it give them more opportunities to hit on her? What about being nude in public? There would be so many people there, it would just be so uncomfortable.
She covered her eyes with her hooves and sighed yet again. If anything was clear to her, it was that this new life was not how she would wish it to go, but it felt surprisingly liberating. In the short time she spent here, she was treated well and with a certain degree of decency. Of course, Celestia asked questions - who wouldn't, in her situation? But she didn't hound Maria, she didn't dump all the questions on her without consideration, and she even respected her need for privacy.
Despite how weird of a start this was, Maria felt surprisingly good about it. It wasn't what she expected, but it had a good potential to become what she wanted indeed.
However, standing there nude in front of the mirror, she couldn't decide whether she should call the genie an asshole for thrusting her in this situation or thank him for giving this to her.
Maybe a lot of the former and a moderate amount of the latter.
This looks very good, a bit different than what I've seen before and the reactions and interactions seem real.
More please!
Well Yes, But actually no. We don't have 4 legs, but have 4 limbs ergo we can walk on 4 limbs.
NEW CHAPTER POGGERS!
YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS STORY BUT IM GONNA SAY IT AGAIN HOPEFULLY WITHOUT THE SPELLING MISTAKES!
I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY AND I REQUIRWE MORE!
Very good chapter, do like this, and out so soon! Just please, I beg you, don't get burned out writing this. I've seen too many good stories just end because the writer got burned out (myself included).
10633894
In Colonial America, you nuke the joke
10633987
In Colonial America, we shoot periods.
10634668
Better
In Colonial America, joke nukes you
heh!
10634667
Don't worry, I'll be fine. What I figured out for myself is that writing something is better than doubting whether I should write or not.
I'm usually quite lazy, and I realized it's actually good to write more, especially since writing things make me feel good. I'm certainly far from burning myself out anytime soon. Well, as long as I don't try to write ten thousand words in one day, although even that seems possible with enough motivation, discipline, and enthusiasm.
Certainly beats watching YouTube all day.
Going good so far
10634691
XD
This looks to be right up my alley. Interesting start to this story.
Most human in equestria storys are either a total Cluster*uck, total cringe or are tearjerkingly bad.
(or are cancelled after 3 chapters😑)
But it seems like you have another banger right here so... More please... Big Plox
P.S: Here take this cookie for your effort🍪
10634745
Well, let's hope my story won't turn into a clusterfuck or total cringe, then
Anyway, I'm definitely not canceling it unless something extremely extraordinary happens. I've already an ending in mind - which, I admit, I didn't have when I wrote the prologue - and also the middle point. The only thing I need to do now is to build up to those two points, so everything should go relatively smoothly as long as I don't mess up.
10634754
Best of luck to you then🤞. Not that you need it.
If your other works are anything to go by this should get interesting
10634754
That's good, really and honestly :)
Fun-but-useless-fact: I too have an Idea for a story, and IN THE Story itself, in my head.
Character, his difficult personality (at first I made him just simple and kind, a Cliche. He was very much like OC in the story "A New Home" by APoeticHeart or in "A Boy's Tears" by MetalBrony823 etc. But in the time I slowly but steadly made him into a more complex person of my own) ,
his struggles, beggining, ending (even two slightly different endings),
hard choices/decisions he'll have to make,
The Lessons he will learn throughout the story to become a better person,
and more...
But I won't write it because I can't. I don't have the required predisposition to writing at all, not to mention my knowledge of the language is too poor for that :(
(Not that language is a big problem, but the first reason: yes, BIG THICK Problem)
* Thank you Google Translate for helping me to write all this*
10634611
Well Yes, But actually no. We don't have 4 legs, but have 4 limbs ergo we can walk on 4 limbs.
Technically, we crawl on our four limbs, ponies walk on theirs ...
Охо-хо. Not gonna lie, I barely made it through the prologue.
I'm not entirely sure why, but it appears to me that a lot of female protagonists have issues with their parents. More often than not the conflict between them is unimportant to the story and doesn't say much about the heroine, making it tedious to read through. Also, you made the mother so cartoonishly unlikeable. Never met a parent who thought that starting a family at the age of 18 is a great idea.
Masha herself walks a thin line between relatable (but generic) and unlikeable protagonist. So far she acted as an angsty teen who hates her life, but has no real ambitions or aspirations. What she likes to do? What kind of people she hanged out with? Who she clashed with? What hobbies she had until now? The only thing we know about her is that she used to spent a lot of time with her computer. Relatable, but... Is that it? She made a list of paths she doesn't want to walk. Okay. Which one she would consider, then? So far, I have no clue.
She's also a pushover if this is the worst she has ever given her mother until her 18th birthday.
It's okay for our protagonist to have flaws and room for development. But, so far, you gave us no reason to stick with her.
Naturally. Parents wish nothing more but to make their child's life miserable.
Also: a toilet. How thrilling. Last time I checked, if nothing interesting (like an assasination attempt) is going to happen there, readers shouldn't think about toilets. Well, unless somepony will make a 'three seashells' joke.
Best wishes! Hope this story will get some steam.
10634857
Fair critique. Although, I have to point out that some parents can be pretty unlikable. You never know until you actually have to live with them. While Maria's mother is pretty bad, it doesn't make the worst list, not by a long shot.
As for starting a family early, oh boy... You've no idea. Honestly, neither had I until I read certain things. It get get quite nasty.
Also fair. I'll address it all in later chapters. For now, I simply established the core of Maria. I think it's pretty clear that she didn't like her life and wanted a new one. That's all the reader, in my opinion, has to know for now.
I used to be somewhat similar. Couldn't disagree with my mom on anything until I grew up.
I think that's true for you, but I think quite a few people are interested enough to stick with her. I do promise that I'll expand on her character more now that the initial chapters are done. They set the stage and set the basics.
It's likely her mother would forgive her, but the thing is, Maria was feeling down and so wasn't thinking clearly about it. I use a writing perspective that follows the characters' thoughts without being perfectly from their POV.
That's fair. Personally, I think it established how uncomfortable Maria is and how glad she is that she's not going to deal with menstruation anymore. Sure, might seem like an unnecessary detail, but I think some people will appreciate that things do indeed change once a human girl becomes a pony mare. Including such a large part of life like dealing with menstruation.
If you consider that unnecessary, that's fine. I just thought it was a neat little detail that people who like details would appreciate.
And thank you for your critique
I haven't even begun reading yet, but i am very intrigued by your blurb! I can't wait to begin reading!
This is a unique story!!
I love how you mix Russian words with English!
Keep it uo!
Off to a good start. I love these sorts of stories so I am definitely going to keep my eye on it. Good work so far!
I am enjoying the story and look forward to seeing how it develops. There was a line in this last chapter that gave me pause though.
How does Celestia know what a menstrual pad is? ... Okay, she is over a millennia old and there are other species in her world. And she has traveled to other dimensions in the comics. But it did make me think.
After looking up the subject, I noticed that bats menstruate. Does this mean that bat ponies use menstrual pads?
You piqued my curiosity, and have grabbed my attention.
Unfortunately, this is NOT how quadrupeds walk, they do alternating legs, so front left and rear right, then the other two. If you've had cats, or dogs, or heck, watched the show, if you see them walking you notice that more often than not, only 1 leg is up at a time, and even then, they alternate.
Walking like this would send her to her side the moment both legs left the ground.
10635232
Good, someone noticed
10635726
That's actually a really good question.
10635901
Well, in all honesty, walking is controlled falling. Her first instinct was to use the same thing we do, but double it because of having double the legs. I tried it myself, and it kinda works. It's awkward, but still. She'll have to learn to walk properly later on. Plus I looked up some MLP walk cycles, and the way she walks is somewhat similar but more awkward and unrefined.
This is berry funny
Part of Maria's problem that led her to wishing for a new life was that she didn't want to be forced to follow her mother's wishes and expectations, yet she is an alicorn that Celestia is going to try to turn into a princess. Princesses have the expectations of an entire nation pushed on their shoulders, along with the commitment to trying to lead them all into prosperity.
I hope that she is able to fight against these new expectation placed on her to finally become her own person.
10634691
Twice. Just so you realize the first time wasn't a fluke.
Alright, a slow-burning beginning. Going to keep an eye out on this.
10636075
А можно ссылку на русскоязычный оригинал?
10634967
Anthony Burgess at "Clockwork Orange" did it first. Try it. (dark, violence, rape, death, mind control)
10636285
Я имел ввиду что я попытался перевести русские мысли на английский. Русского оригинала в принципе нет.
10635901
You just described exactly the same walk cycle but starting one step later.
It's a delight to finally have a protagonist who tells the truth and asks questions and generally acts like a reasonable human being for a change, instead of immediately panicking and running and hiding and lying to everypony about everything for no obvious reason.
Bunch of weirdos those guys.
...
‘‘neither was it’’?
‘it's/it is’?
10635901
Do camels not walk left-left-right-right?
10641463
Thank you, fixed.
Hmm, so far so good. Maria acts like a believable teenager and being paired with Celestia right off the bat will be fun.
Her interactions with the pony world so far have been fun. The bathroom scene carried out a bit longer than I thought it should but it set the mood right for the "Fish out of water/human brain in horse" moment. It'll be fun seeing her react to the fact that her main diet will be grass and hay
I look forth to seeing her character and personality develop, so far so good, I like it!
Then who on Vita does?
Because Celestia understands the concept, she must know of some non-pony species that needs to use them.
10636745
No, there is a very important difference.
10641467
Yes, but generally not horses.
Most horses "trot", which means walking with their legs paired diagonally and each pair hitting the ground in unison, and walking with the legs paired laterally and hitting the ground in unison (as camels do), which is known as "pacing", evidently feels unnatural for them; pacing is quite viable and there are some breeds of horse for whom pacing does feel natural and is in fact preferred over trotting, but MLP:FiM ponies are generally depicted as trotting rather than pacing and I could imagine that a pony would need to be trained to properly pace without having to concentrate.
10635901
The closest thing to what this describes is the gait specifically called walking, in which the horse is alternately supported on three and two legs (those latter phases are alternately on diagonal and lateral pairs of legs; even so, close to 50% of walking is spent supported on either of the diagonal pairs).
(cf, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_gait)
EDIT:
10635910
Gaits should naturally happen, by instinct (even newborn foals can walk). If Maria is having to concentrate on walking, she may need some sort of therapist.
10659836
Some intelligent apes and monkeys, I suppose.
10659901
Maria used to be a human, and her brain still needs to be somewhat rewired to function properly in an equine body. It'll take a bit of time.
10660428
Considering a healthy newborn foal takes 90 minutes to start walking and is expected to be let outdoors for exercise within 24-48 hours even with its newborn-foal-level fragility, I sort of suspect the princesses would get impatient after a day or so and offer her a physical therapist or something to speed the learning process up (probably one who can also help her with her wings).
10660487
That's a pretty good suggestion. I might actually write something about it.
You gotta wonder how that became a law
10663309
Even more so since Celestia and Luna were the only two at the start, then just Celestia and then Cadance came along.
Since I found that merzavets means scoundrel I think you mean “That merzavets” not “This merzavets“. Also for the English literate readers an English definition in parenthesis I.e merzavets (scoundrel) would be best so we don’t rush to the AN at the end to see what the word meant
Really good story so far. It's always nice seeing a HiE story with a human who's female. Even if I'm not the biggest fan of the Human turned Pony in Equestria type of stories, there are some really good ones. So far this is one of the good ones. I think it's the first one I've seen that is (Female) Human turned Mare, and I like the concept. Can't wait to read on.
10636849
Well she was a little freaked out especially by everyone else freaking out. Though I think it might not hit her how much she has changed and will have to deal with.
10660487
But pony babies don't run around right away and getting use to a new body and new life with new rules will take time.