• Member Since 21st May, 2013
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I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".


Wallflower and her friends from the gardening club go to the Dunwich Bonsai Fair with The Great Roberto, their prized bonsai tree. Seems like it's going to be a normal trip – as normal as a crowd of bonsai tree fanatics can be.

That is, until the clowns start showing up...

Set roughly in the same continuity as It's The End Of The World As We Know It and Dungeons and Dimwits, but actually self-contained.

Preread by hawthornbunny, FanOfMostEverything, Kirtai, and Krack-Fic Kai.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 13 )

based on a true story?


Damn, I was gonna say we should hang out.

Besides, what are the chances a random high school girl with an interest in gardening is a serial killer? I mean, we have access to shovels, woodchippers, axes, and all sorts of things useful in getting rid of bodies, but come on. When was the last time you’ve heard of a gardener killing somebody?

Farmers also have all the tools and ususally a wide space to bury the bodies. Also, you don't hear about the gardeners because they don't find the bodies.

Or maybe she’ll feed us to bunnies? I’ve heard they can eat everything.

On second thought, those were pigs. Moving on.

Actually, bunnies can eat their newborn. I've seen it. So theoretically you could dispose of a body like that.

After reading this, I've two questions:

1) What the fuck is this?

2) Can I pay you to make more?

10626415 Gardeners do not bury the bodies.

How wasteful.

That's what compost piles are for.

I'd never forget you, Samey.

Anyway, another Samey classic. Insane conversations, situations that seem implausible but actually flow logically, asides that make me go, "Wait, WHAT?!" It's gonna be a ride.

Appropriately enough, I'd forgotten I'd preread this. :twilightsheepish: Wonderful stuff, especially this take on Best Human. Looking forward to more.

Meanwhile, I forgot to reply to comments, but then, I had a crazy last week, so to speak.

One could say this fic is unforgettable...

Sooner or later the body does end up in the ground. Just in a more useful form.

I guess you'd need more bunnies to dispose of a body, though. Pigs can eat more, I guess.

Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind next time I encounter a tank.

If this is foreshadowing this will become the most awesome story ever.

Also wally/Muffing interactions are the best and I want more.

the Dunwich Bonsai Fair

I don't think Wallflower should there. Going anywhere prominently mentioned in one of H.P. Lovecraft is a terrible idea.

Stupid, sexy Muffins!

That can be taken so many damned ways...

Well, we have the setup for wacky/possibly lethal shenanigans. I can't wait to see how we end up where they did in the prologue.

“Would you maybe prefer ‘Flowey’?” Muffins asks.

If she keeps that up, she's getting a face full of friendliness pellets.

Muffins chuckles. “Does anyone even know how they work?”

Aligned electron spin axes.

Not sure how to feel about casually lewd Best Human, but I am enjoying Wallflower's overwhelming awkwardness. Definitely looking forward to seeing how this leads to their arrest.

Cue "Saving Private Blush" :rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, Dunwich Fishing Competition never ends well...

We'll get there soon.

Lewd or European? :raritywink:

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