• Member Since 30th Dec, 2019
  • offline last seen 35 minutes ago

BleuBlooms


T

Old Twilight sets herself up for a crap day. Until, life happens. She is still confused though, so their is that.


Authors Note: I found to my liking that listening to the story. Under the sites playback funtion adds, a certain something?

I tryed on my computer and my phone. The phone version sounded excellent. Rather charming. I hope this note finds you well. And at the very least try it , if applicable. Thank you kindly for the moment of your time.

Hasbro and co. own that purple flank and feathers, mlp,etc.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 2 )

This is difficult to read. It's written in a bizarre mix of deliberately flowery prose combined with bad grammar and peculiar sentence structure.

I'm left unsure whether English is your second language, or whether you wrote this in a rush and published without reading it over a few times first. There are parts that feel like you tried very hard to polish them, but way too many sentences that I have to read several times to figure out what you're even trying to say. So much so that by the time I made it to the end I was unsure what even happened.

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I appreciate your comment. English is my first language. I am new to proper grammar. Having not cared in school, let alone having a excellent English teacher.

Ounce again, thank you for taking the time to comment. I greatly appreciate your candor.

Now off to find a editor for my story and my future ones.

Have a kind day!

PS. I did not understand paragraphs at all. One idea that supports the main sentence.

darn. I done goofed.

Just finished some edits. I even am even more aware of what is wrong now.

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