• Member Since 22nd Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen 38 minutes ago

LilSlipsy


Comments ( 25 )

yes this is very good. I don't know if you are accepting requests/suggestions, but here are a few of my own:

1.) Clone again, but male this time. Focus on her learning/exploring the differences between them, before devolving into rutting. no pregnancy please.

2.) Her mom talks to her about the book, explains things to her so she knows what she is doing, what it means, etc. Also makes sure that she understands what sex is normally for, so she doesn't get the wrong idea from the book and can be safe and responsible. This could also lead to a more open, explorative relationship between the two. Maybe they could even "read" together in the future.

>Healthy Lunch Options

You're a sick man.

10616963
Thanks!

10617103
Glad you liked it! The more ideas the merrier, not sure if I'll get around to actually do any, but if it interests me enough then I might in the future.

10617110
I'm sorry, peas forgive me. :trollestia:

I like this. Please do more

10620511
Thanks, buddy! :heart: I have a few more things in mind. I might have them out in the new year. :twilightsheepish:

I’ll read it every night just liked you asked.

like

It had several labels pointing to each part: clitoris pointing to a large round pearl at the top, nestled between two thick lips labeled as the labia.

Hmm a pony manual would probably be made with the "normal" orientation so with the clitoris at the bottom, as that is the most common way to see it.

at the self-induce surprise

induced

the entire mare’s crotch was on display

Hmmm I think that this is only used for humans or at most primates...

The first chaptered seemed like it was a magic

chapter

With a hoof, she quickly pushed the blanket away and wiggled back up the bed until she could see between her legs.

Hm a pony would be probably reading face down in bed, so she would need to turn over.

It was supposed to the best stallion that she ever had when it was ready

to be the (maybe?)

but it did guide her through it pretty

better use "the book"

But maybe something in the next few pages that would help her.

remove

flipping to the page that started this whole mess and found the dispel symbols.

What dispel symbols? You said that it was either climax or sunrise. [It DOES make sense that it is dispellable, but then you should say it before and add something about her wanting to finish the "lesson"]

Her heavy her eyes finally

remove

I have to say... That seems like a strange thing to want ^^;;; I mean it is shown almost everywhere that being in heat is somewhat annoying, so it seems strange to have a spell that does that. On top of that there is the "physical consequences" of being in heat that being "fertility" Now I can guess that this spell DOES NOT induce fertility, but still it's strange that it does not have an off counterspell.

10621410
Thanks for the edits, most of them are fixed! I do appreciate it :heart: Just mentioning the others I'm leaving:

Normal orientation manual - Hmmm, that does make a lot of sense and certainly could see other similar books having this. However, since this is generally considered a book of masturbation the argument could be made that it's the POV view that a pony would see if they're looking down or maybe if they have a mirror between their legs.

Crotch - Maybe, but I think I'll be keeping it as I don't think it's too bad.

Reading on front/back - She's reading on her back. It's canon they do that, sooo (Warning Adorable RBD)

Dispel symbols - Updated that one sentence for clarity.

10621548
Yes that was a thing I was thinking about, a mirror would definitely make sense ^^;;;
Didn't remember that Rainbow Dash ^^;

herself as got up and trotted

as she

“You have cute room here,

a cute

The morning seemed normal,

had seemed

she hoped off of the

hopped

looking at a smooth green

the

she didn’t know why made her feel this way

why it

tendril when she it finally unraveled and sent her

remove

mother probably could hear her from the market

would have heard

and may more times after that.

many

she to remember what spell it was

tried to (maybe?)

She squealed as then encore happened all over again

the

She certainly never saw this thing on anypony before either, but couldn’t help but giggle at the image of that dongle sticking off them, walking on it like a third leg.

Since ponies are quadrupeds, I would suggest changing that word to "fifth".

10621536
I haven't read past this chapter yet, but I'm guessing she'll find a counter-spell later.

Comment posted by That One Brony Dude deleted January 11th

It would probably all make sense once she cast the spell at the end anyways; kind of like a book full of surprises where she didn’t know what she was going to get.

i2.wp.com/www.freaklore.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Forrest-Gump-bench-scene.jpg
My mama always told me life was like a book of self diddling: you never know what you're gonna get.

Perhaps there could be a "holographic porn" chapter? Or maybe a "portal" chapter, in which she's able to stick a tongue through a portal that leads between her legs, giving her easier access to herself? Maybe the latter could also end with her penetrating herself with her horn?

Just some ideas for you, in case you want them.

10629178
Not too sure what you mean by holographic porn. But the portal idea was a small idea that I had put down already, didn't think of the horn part though, so if I write it I just might have to include that. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

10629288

Not too sure what you mean by holographic porn.

What I mean is that Essence finds a chapter for a "visual stimulation" spell. She casts it, and sees magical 3-dimensional images of ponies (or other creatures) boning eachother. She gets a basic sex ed lesson in the process. (If you can consider live demonstrations without the warnings about STDs and unwanted pregnancies to be "sex ed".) Then again, it might not be as sexy as creating a magical doppelganger, but it could still be fun.

[...]didn't think of the horn part though, so if I write it I just might have to include that. Thanks!

You're welcome.

10622159 10622291 10624401
Took a little while to get back to this and edit, but thanks for the corrections nonetheless. They have been fixed. :twilightsmile:

"Mom really needed to learn the quiet spell too."

I'm curious to see where this will all go.

When can we expect a new chapter? and whether to wait for it at all? It seems that another author has thrown his masterpiece.

I wonder if there will be a few mud, slime, wam chapters

Login or register to comment