• Published 5th Sep 2012
  • 12,214 Views, 365 Comments

Lunar Liability - Carpetbagger



Big Macintosh saves Princess Luna's life and she enacts a code that binds her to being his servant.

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Back in Business

Golden Oaks Library the pinnacle of scholastic pursuits was anything but that this night. Ponies from all over town gathered into the hollowed tree, not to study, but to celebrate. Peaceful silence was easily overpowered by blaring music, spilled drinks, and chatty townsfolk. Every rule within Ponyville's most sacred of sacred retreats was broken this evening. It wasn't agreed upon by any governing faction, but a mutual exception. Oddly enough, it was the second time in two consecutive nights.

What dost thou seek?

Big Macintosh passed through the doorway unannounced. Being the definition of good manners, he felt a bit out of place doing so. But he couldn't resist since the ruckus could be heard all the way from Sweet Apple Acres, disturbing his sleep. Upon entering, the smells of fruit punch and pastries nearly overwhelmed the curious farmer. After checking outside to make sure he didn't accidentally stumble into Sugarcube Corner, he pressed on.

What is thy desire?

From the looks of it, the entire town was there. Even though Big Macintosh bumped into these ponies on a daily basis, he always had trouble remembering their names. It wasn't that he didn't care to know them, he long accepted that remembering faces were easier. Looking around only confirmed the farmer's thoughts. There were familiar faces everywhere. The owner of the fashion boutique, that reckless weather manager with the rainbow mane, that strange Pegasus who takes care of sick animals on the outskirts of town, the new librarian with her pet dragon, and that overly hyper pink pony that works at Sugarcube Corner. It seemed like whenever there was a party going on, she was always at the center of it.

Open thy heart to us...

Big Macintosh looked to the other side of the large structure and saw his sister Applejack enjoying herself. Putting two and two together, he figured this was where she disappeared to, leaving her share of apple bucking behind for him to finish. As usual he couldn't really find himself getting upset about taking on the extra work. Seeing Applejack happy that moment was payment enough.

"Heeeeeeey Big Mac!" A voice bursting with enthusiasm called out. He turned around meeting the almost glowing blue eyes of Ponyville's personal party pony waving him over to a table full of refreshments. He thought twice about approaching, but the rumbling of his gut eliminated any objections. Just as he arrived she was gone in a blink of an eye, only leaving behind a pink blur. In the next moment Big Macintosh found himself with a party cone strapped to his head, a noisemaker in his mouth and a plate of cupcakes sitting in front of him.

"I bet you didn't know I knew your name, but Applejack talks about you all the time, and there was that one time I met you at her birthday party but you didn't really talk much after she introduced you but that's okay because I learned your name and I know everypony's name in Ponyville even if they don't know mine, but how can you forget my name, I'm pink," Pinkie took a pause to shake her tail uncomfortably close to Big Mac. "and my name is Pinkie Pie, by the way, I'm Pinkie Pie pleased to meet you...." She continued blabbing out in a single sentence.

It was amazing how much she could say off a single breath. Trying to be good listener, Big Macintosh did his best to follow, making a mental note of details that stuck out in case if it came up later in the conversation. Mares seemed to like that, even if it's the tiniest little detail. Taking off his party hat and noisemaker, the farmer took a bite of the cupcake trying to keep up. Something about the Summer Sun festival, an evil Princess threatening to bring eternal night, and something called the elements of harmony? Even if she ran her mouth constantly, she had one heck of a wild imagination.

"...and that's why where having this little shindig now. I bet you didn't expect your sister to be responsible for saving the world from the big meany meany pants Nightmare Moon huh?" Pinkie concluded with an encouraging elbow. Big Macintosh nearly choked on the punch he poured himself somewhere between the puppet show and the musical number in the third act. He took a moment to look around and saw the 'Welcome Back Princess Luna!' banner strung up.

"Uhhh... Eeyup?"

"Ha! I knew you'd say that!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "But you always say that, if you're not saying 'Nnope' like that one time..."

And there she goes again. Big Macintosh didn't even try to listen this time and instead looked around at everypony having a good time. Even though it was a relaxing environment, it was a bit too much. It was time to get a bit of fresh air. Looking back at the door, he saw even more ponies flooding in. He looked at the upper loft and saw that the librarian had the same idea as she was sitting on her bed reading. He thought retreating up there, but it was probably better not to invade her space. Looking to the other side of the upper floor, he saw a balcony. As he decided to make a break for it, a warm breeze moved the curtains revealing a slender dark blue unicorn outside. Sighing in defeat the farmer looked down attempting to follow his one-sided conversation partner.

"...but then after all that, you only said 'Eeyup.' I don't get it, if that happened to me, I'd have a whole lot to say like..."

The balcony started looking more attractive with each passing second. Maybe the lone unicorn wouldn't mind some company either.

"Ah'm sorry Pinkie, would ya scuse' me for a second." Big Macintosh drawled while walking past the party pony.

Pinkie looked up at the farmer letting her jaw drop to impossible lengths, almost inches from the floor. "You can talk?"

"Course' Ah can talk. Ah usually don't got anything special to say." The farmer retorted as he desperately tried to put distance between himself and the only one in Equestria that probably could talk your ear off.

...tell us thy heart's desire...

Armed with a assortment of apologies, Big Macintosh weaved in and out of the sea of ponies between him and a few moments of peace and quiet. It's not that he didn't like large gatherings or anything. Ever since he could remember, he always found himself sneaking out every once in a while to clear his thoughts, as if the loud gathering would swallow him whole. After bumping into a fuchsia mare that looked like she was having a bit too much fun, He finally made it to the stairs.

The warm summer air from the open balcony blew through the stallion's mane, breathing life into his already exhausted body. It had been a long night. In fact, it's felt almost like several nights. Is that possible? Big Macintosh shook the the thought out of his head and continued up the steps.

...tell us...

Big Macintosh began to think doing Applejack's extra chores must have taken more out of him than he thought. The stairs actually felt longer. With only a few breaths of the peaceful summer air that were becoming increasingly sparse he continued his climb. Every time he would look up it was as if he was stuck in the same spot, never getting closer to his goal. The moonlight would shine though occasionally, revealing the midnight blue unicorn looking up at the night sky. Frustrated, he continued his quest, never getting any closer, but never giving up. But every time he would look to his deceptively close destination the only thing that became more detailed was the strange unicorn. A few glances ago, he noticed she was much taller than the average pony, closer to his average height almost as delicate as the was tall. As if a stiff gust of wind would blow her over. Her light azure mane glistened under the vibrant stars that seemed to dance for her. Even her horn was different, much longer, sharper, commanding. On his last glance, he tried to make out what her cutie mark, but it was unlike anything he had ever seen. Also, there was something on her sides twitching as she sighed are those wings?

...and we shall make it reality...

It wasn't possible. There couldn't have been twelve, maybe eighteen steps leading up to the balcony, but it turned into an endless trek. Upon noticing this the tired farmer cocked his ears, realizing that the loud music and ponies, the very reason for his retreat had been drown out with silence. It wasn't the kind of silence accustomed to a library either, it was lifeless silence that consumed everything. Big Macintosh looked all around him, everything was gone, the townsfolk, the library, everything but the unreachable balcony, an endless winding staircase, and nothing. Confused and exhausted, he took one more step forward but lost his footing, falling over the side of the winding stairs into oblivion. Drowning in the pitch blackness of despair and silence, the farmer fell to his doom.


Big Macintosh sat up desperately gasping for air. The morning sun stung while he feverishly tried to focus his vision. When his eyes finally adjusted, he looked around to find himself safe in his bedroom, exactly as he remembered it. Certain that it was all a dream, he laid back down slowly closing his eyes.

"...What dost thou seek?"

Big Macintosh opened his eyes again with a raised brow. He rolled over and saw Princess Luna laying next to him fast asleep. With everything going on, even he didn't know how this sleeping arrangement came to be. He meant to suggest she could sleep downstairs or share a room with one of the girls, but with all the chaos he got sidetracked. That seemed to be the current theme of things. But looking at the moon princess, resting peacefully in his room washed away any momentary objections. It almost felt right. In his moment of admiration, Luna shifted, rolling over to her back and began to talk in her sleep.

"What is thy desire..." She whispered as a haze of energy ignited from her horn. Looking at the gathering of magic Big Macintosh could feel his eyes getting heavy. His mind wandered back to the party, to his dream. But he fought the urges to fall asleep.

"Luna! Wake up!" The farmer called out while sitting up. She thrashed about before sitting up and wiping at her eyes, mane frazzled. When Luna regained her senses, she met Big Macintosh with a smile.

"Dost something trouble thee, master Apple?" The night alicorn slurred while running a hoof through her mane.

"Ah told ya to stop callin' me master, it don't sound right." Big Macintosh grumbled. Put off guard by Luna's greeting he could feel a blush running across his cheeks as only one phrase overpowered the plethora of questions he intended to ask.

"Ah... Ah had a bad dream." As the words escaped his mouth, he realized his blunder and applied a hoof to his face in frustration expecting something along the lines of laughter. But it didn't come. Instead Luna let out an empathic sigh and placed a hoof against his chest pushing him back down into the bed, a hoof that felt unusually heavy, Luna was stronger than she looked.

"Wait, that wasn't what Ah meant..." Big Mac manged to say, but a comforting shush cut off any further speech as Luna rubbed his chest breathing sweet words into his ear.

"Worry not, allow us to comfort thee. T'was just a dream..."

"It was more than a dream. You were there." Big Mac struggled to say, making eye contact with the alicorn. For an slight fraction of a second, Luna's face was overcome with elation, but a conscious effort to show concern took over.

"Thou dreamed of us? Quite flattering." The princess cooed, snuggling against him.

"It ain't like that." Big Macintosh interrupted, quickly retreating. "It was bout' as clear as you and me layin' here. Ah kept going up this endless set of stairs while hearing a voice, your voice. When Ah woke up, you were talking in your sleep, saying the same things with your horn glowing." He managed to get out. Shocked, Luna sat up looking away.

"Forgive us m'lord. That was our dream, It won't happen again." The princess whispered while climbing out of bed. She looked back one more time with genuine apology in her eyes before reaching for the door. Suddenly it exploded open, hitting Luna in the face multiple times followed by Apple Bloom trying to squeeze through the narrow gap.

"Big Macintosh! Ya gotta see this!" The filly shouted, still struggling with the door. Luna tried to calm her down in between each strike to the muzzle.

"Young Apple-Slam! ... allow us to-Slam! ...just a-Slam! ...halt thy advances until-Slam! ...will thou please- Slam!"

"Big Brother, Ah think your door got stuck up under a floorboard or somethin. Ah can't get it open any wider." Apple Bloom said between grunts, trying to force herself into the room.

"BE STILL!"

Luna's frustrated beckoning in the royal canterlot voice rattled the walls and finally managed to get the filly's attention, giving her enough time to step away. Apple Bloom looked up at the princess wincing at the growing red knot on her nose before closing the door behind her.

"Luna? Ah'm so sorry. Ah thought the door got stuck and if I forced it open..."

"Worry not Young Apple." Luna spoke softly, climbing back under the covers. The throbbing welt on her nose shrank rapidly until there was no trace. She flared her nostrils and gave a snort to confirm she was fully healed. "Pray tell, what has alarmed thee so?"

"Oh, right. Ah looked out my window when Ah got up this morning' an-" Apple Bloom began, but was interrupted by Applejack barging in. She quickly slammed the door behind her and backed away cautiously.

"Sorry fer' barging in Big Mac." Applejack announced keeping her eyes on the door. "Ah heard that confounded royal canterlot voice. Ah'm just gonna hide in here till whatevers' got Luna's tail in a knot blows over. Ah swear, it's too early fer' all this."

"Good morn, middle apple." Luna said happily as Applejack took a moment to fan her face with her hat.

"Morning' Luna." Applejack responded, still never looking behind her. "Hope Ah ain't interrupting anything. Ah'm just tryin' to hide from-" She paused, eyes shrinking to pinpricks as she turned around slowly to meet the gaze of a smiling moon princess, sitting in bed with her brother. Applejack passed glances between her brother and the alicorn, twitching her left eye.

"What in the name of all that's good an' decent?!" She shouted, grabbing Apple Bloom and covering the filly's eyes. Big Macintosh raised the covers up to his muzzle to hide his growing grin.

"We do not understand, is something amiss?" Luna asked, double blinking clueless at Applejack.

"Darn tootin' somethin's amiss. Ah'm lookin' at an 'amiss' right now, laid up in my brother's bed! It ain't right!" Applejack snapped back. Apple Bloom managed to sneak a peek from under her sister's foreleg, but was quickly obstructed again.

"Lemme go Applejack." Apple Bloom whined.

"Sorry sugarcube, but there's some things ya'll shouldn't see till... till... there's just some things ya'll shouldn't see." Applejack struggled to say. She pointed an accusing hoof at Big Macintosh. "And you! Ah expected better from mah own big brother. Ya'll better count your blessings granny ain't feeling good. If she caught the two of-"

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Applejack went silent, eyes widened in terror. She loosened her grip on Apple Bloom and the filly slipped away, scuttling to the door.

"Is somepony in here?" A shrill voice called from outside. As Apple Bloom got closer to the door, Applejack scooped her up and put a hoof over her mouth earning a disgruntled mumble from the yellow filly.

"Ah, Elder Apple, t'is good to hear thy-" Luna tried to say, but Big Macintosh placed a hoof over her mouth, shushing her.

"Big Macintosh, ya'll in there?" Granny Smith called out again, playing with the locked doorknob. After getting a nod of approval from Applejack, he approached the door, partially opening it enough to peek his head out.

"Eeyup."

"Somethin' a matter? Ah don't remember ya'll ever lockin' yer door before? Ya ain't got nothin' to hide, do ya?" The elderly earth pony asked, nearly bulging an eye out at her grandson. Big Macintosh curled his lips, shifting his eyes from side to side.

"Nnope."

Granny gave him another once over before her suspicious demeanor deflated. "Fair enough. Guess it's about time ya'll would want yer privacy and all. Ya ain't exactly a colt no more." She said, looking up aimlessly as if recalling a fond memory. "Anyways, Ah know everypony's been worrin' themselves while Ah was locked up in mah room after Luna destroyed the orchard. Ah jus' wanted ya ta hear from the horse's mouth that Ah'm alright. Was a bit of a shock, seein' the farm like that, but Ah know we'll find a way to push on. That's the Apple family way. Right?"

"Eeyup."

"Ah knew y'all would understand." Granny Smith's face curled into a smile. "Did Ah ever tell ya how much ya remind me so much of yer great-uncle-twice-removed, Honeycrisp? He never said much, but as understandin' as understandin' can be. Hard worker ta boot." She reminisced, looking up aimlessly again but having mind enough to focus on the present. "Listen to me, goin' on like an old goat. Ah just wanted to have that little talk with ya. Ah'll be downstairs makin' breakfast if ya need me. Ya feelin' up fer some of mah famous apple pancakes?"

"Eeyup."

"Alrighty." The elderly mare smiled. As she backed away from the door, Big Macintosh closed it, breathing out a relieved sigh. Applejack did the exact same.

"Now, would somepony explain why the two of ya'll are shacked up in the same room?" Applejack snarled, renewing her tirade.

"Sis, it ain't that ya think." Big Macintosh began, scratching the back of his head nervously. "With all the confusion lately, it just kind of happened." Applejack didn't look amused.

"Somethin' like that don't just happen. Ya'll actin' all casual like she fall and landed on your-"

"Middle Apple!" Luna interrupted siding up with Big Mac. "Thy harsh words wound us, we would never take such... liberties. Not without being wed of course." Luna playfully winked at Big Macintosh, earning a wide eyed blush for her efforts.

"Ya know what? Ah don't want to know anymore." Applejack said, covering Apple Bloom's ears. "Long as the two of y'all ain't-"

"Nnope."

"Good enough fer me. C'mon Apple Bloom."

"Wait, Ah didn't get to tell Ya'll what I saw out the window." Apple Bloom cried out.

"Well go on, spit it out." Applejack demanded, letting go of her sister.

"Well, put an apple in mah mouth an' baste me in a pan! It's a miracle!"

"Looks like granny saw it too." Apple Bloom giggled, before running out the door.

Applejack gave Big Macintosh an inquisitive look which he could only respond with a shrug. Confused, she gave chase to Apple Bloom. Big Mac went to follow, but looked back, catching Luna with a wide grin on her face.

"Ya'll got something to do with this?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. Luna simply walked past him into the hallway.

"Tis' best not to ruin a surprise, master." The alicorn shot back happily prancing downstairs.

"Ah told ya to stop callin' me... aww forget it!"


As Big Macintosh stepped onto the front porch, he was nearly floored by the sight. Endless rows of fresh trees lined the hills, placed with calculated accuracy. Fresh morning dew beaded on the apples, making them more appetizing than normal. There wasn't a trace of the destruction he left behind that night, and the night before. Apple Bloom happily ran between the trees before stopping to roll in the grass laughing. Applejack and Granny Smith danced together singing loudly. Just to make sure it wasn't all a dream, Macintosh wiped his eyes. When he looked back to the fields, his vision swam as he felt moisture run down his cheeks.

"Beautiful, is it not?" Luna asked approaching the sobbing stallion. Big Mac quickly wiped his eyes in an attempt to regain his composure.

"Eeyup."

Granny Smith, Applejack and Apple Bloom approached the princess, drawing her attention away from Big Macintosh. Applejack was the first to bow at her hooves.

"Thank you Luna. Ah had my doubts but ya did it. We're back in business." When she rose to her hooves, Apple Bloom decided to glomp the moon princess' front leg.

"Psst!"

"Ah don't know how ya did it, but thank you Luna." She chirped. Luna hesitated for a moment looking into Apple Bloom's bright eyes but scooped her up in a tight embrace. When she looked up, she met Granny Smith's eyes as she gave a warm, wrinkled smile and an appreciative nod.

"Pssst!"

"No need to thank us. T'was our fault to begin with." Luna frowned slightly, remembering the whole ordeal. Sighing, she placed Apple Bloom down on the ground and gave her cheek a loving nuzzle.

"Psssssst! Your highnessss!"

Cocking her ears from the distant whisper, Luna looked around and caught sight of Facade peeking from within the barn. The robed mare was feverishly beckoning the princess over with a terrified look in her eyes.

"Excuse us for a moment." The moon princess announced abruptly. "Something has come to our attention." Walking away, she took a moment to look back at the Apple family. They were all exchanging glances between each other until they happily squealed, hugging into an entanglement of forelegs and smiles. Luna sighed at the sight remembering her own family, her only family. But she quickly shook the thoughts from her head and entered the barn.

"Facade? What troubles you?" Luna asked, watching the grey unicorn wringing her nerves nervously. "All is well and the farm is restored. Remind us to commend the Lunar Guard for their efforts"

"That'sss the problem, princessss." The robed unicorn frowned. "The Lunar Guard worked well into the night. In fact, all night..."

"...And they shall be generously rewarded." Luna completed Facade's sentence. Facade sighed and lowered her head.

"Your hignesss.... pleassse forgive me. The sun... it was wasss rising... I sent the beacon. But-" Her words wer dissolved into sobs as she began groveling in front of the princess. Luna scooped Facade's muzzle in her hooves and met her slitted eyes with worry.

"Did our guard not return home safely?"

Facade didn't respond but whimpered with her ears down.

"Facade?" The princess said firmly, her patience was waring thin. The shadowed unicorn took a deep breath and pointed up with her eyes clenched shut. Luna followed the tip of Facade's hoof pointing to the ceiling. She blinked once, slowly and methodically before letting her jaw drop, recognizing the severity of the situation.

"...by our sister's mane..."

Author's Note:

Guess what? We're just about to the halfway point!

Comments ( 45 )

Batponies in the Barn?

Onward to the Galactic Leyline! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krjuyUt3yrM See 22:42)

Awesome needs more luna

This is alive, hooray!

More! I politely and aggressively demand/request more!

Well that would have been a sight to see!:pinkiehappy:

Update after long time + Cliffhanger = :trollestia: x

I don't mean to be harsh, but WHERE IN THE DOUBLE LUNARIAN BUCK IS THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER?

Welcome back! (Love the chapter BTW)

2085746

Why wasn't I invited? :derpytongue2:

2085874
Blatant King of the Hill, but no Skyrim. At least I think so. (Haven't started playing until recently)
2085922
Best unintentional reference ever lol
2087060
No offense, but I didn't want to go all out for such minor characters. I'll try harder next time:fluttercry:
2085987
When did it die? Did I die and no one told me?

Thanks for your support guys, more to come soon.

I have to ask. When batponies get left out in the sun... does evaporation cause them to shrink down in size or something? Is that what happened? The barn is now filled with dozens of tiny, squeaking, adorable, vicious batponies?

What, the batponies don't like the sun?

Why would anypony have a problem with Luna having an affair (at least in Luna's opinion) with Big mac?

From what I understand she is civlized, well educated, wise, immortal, a Princess, wealthy, well mannered (all tough old fashinoned) and relatively beautiful.

This isn't exactly something to be embarrased about or something that needs to be hidden. :fluttershysad:

so the story is halfway done?

Commence read.

Well something is on the roof.

2087787

Well, I'd think it's more of the fact that royalty would be in a romantic relationship with a commoner. In almost all monarchical societies, that is considered incredibly taboo, and is generally frowned upon by anyone who isn't of the lower class. Basically, if any upper-class ponies were to find out, Luna's reputation would be ruined.

I'm fairly certain that's how it would work, at least.

2088884

Not in Equestria tough!

Equestria is the land of love and tolerance right? :twilightoops:

2089408

Yes, but all societies have there darker sides. Although Love and Tolerance is the standard by which Equestria is run, many ponies are rather stuck up, and look down on other ponies, I.E. Canterlot citizens, and other hierarchies of their society. It's why Blueblood was such a dick. He was higher on the social chain than most others.

Never said there was anything wrong if Luna chose Big Machintosh. Applejack was just being overprotective/old fashioned because she assumed they were doing more than sleeping in his room and worried how Granny Smith would react.

>>>What is thy desire?>>>

"Thou who hast come with the Maiden, what is thy desire?"

And thus Bic Macintosh must join Gene Starwind and fight Hazanko for the power of the Galactic Leyline. :pinkiecrazy:

webpages.charter.net/smerrow/posters/outlawstar.jpg

2087442 They sparkle in sunlight. :trollestia:

Let me guess, the light of the sun tuned them into bats, and they are now roosting from the eaves of the barn. That or there are a bunch of bat-ponies hanging upside-down from the rafters.

Good chapter, I eagerly look forward to the next one.

What was Facade pointing at?

2090914 You should not have gone there. I laughed myself out of my seat, but that was just wrong.

2101021 Come on, the set up for it was just TOO tempting to resist! :trollestia:

I can't wait to see the next chapter.

2087787
It seems to be less about that they are doing anything more about how they go about it. The Apple family is probably extremely traditional and consummation before marriage is probably a shock to their values

2090982 Perhaps try to update a bit more frequently? :trixieshiftright:

please update as soon as possible.

Well, at least the bats aren't in the bell-free. That'd be a dead-wringer.

2087168

When did it die? Did I die and no one told me?

I find that the reports of your death are greatly exaggerated.

the dream at the begining was kind of weird, is mac starting to fall for luna?
good chapter seemed short cant wait for next

I'm not sure how to put this delicately, so I'm just gonna say it...

If you don't update this, I'm going to have you killed.

I'm quite entertained by this story despite it's incomplete status though I'm confused at the tag Slice of Life and lack of the Romance tag despite it being implied in more than one way as well as the lack of the Comedy tag. Still,I guess real life problems are far more relevant than this. So whether you finish this story or not,know that at least this brony will wait.:pinkiesmile:

p.s: Leaving us on a cliffhanger is such a tease,more so for your earlier readers. Joking or not,death threats are not suited for such intentions:facehoof:

For the love of Jesus Christ ~ Please continue the dang story! I'm getting sick of rereading it!

You have me interested. :twilightsmile:

:yay: More!
:rainbowdetermined2: Louder
:yay: MORE!
:rainbowhuh: Louder!
:fluttershbad: *Deep breath*
:yay: MMOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR!

Why did you stop with this great fanfic? So far I have found it to be really enjoyable!!! Please pick it back up.

Update? :D

I wonder what the outcome of Appleloosa's missing trees will be? We will probably next know...

Should the day come that you return. I hope that you continue this fanfic. I'm new here and can say that this is a great story. I know many want to see what happens next.

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