Retcon

by Beige

Chapter Twenty-Five - Candle and Match

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“Oh, hi,” said Lemony lightly, even though her anxiety seemed to spike briefly as she spoke. “Can I come in?”

Retcon blinked, suddenly feeling flighty. She stepped back from the doorway. “Sure, yeah.”

With one forelimb, Lemony delicately pushed the trolley into the room. It was similar to the one she used for her books, but only carrying a candle in holder, and a very small box with a picture on the top. She stopped in the middle of the room.

As Retcon shut the door, she noticed the bandage that had been around Lemony’s neck had gone. Instead, there was now a small strip of dressing adhesed to her left side collarbone.

Should I… No, I’d only annoy her if I brought it up every time.

Lemony awkwardly cleared her throat. “So Gurney says you can’t access your magic yet?” At Retcon’s nod, Lemony gestured vaguely at the trolley. “D’you mind if I try something?”

“Oh, sure,” she replied uncertainly.

“Right, umm.” Lemony brushed her mane out of her eyes with a hoof. “So, do you know what a candle is?”

“Yes.” She didn’t remember having seen a candle, but it appeared to be some of the knowledge she retained from before.

“Okay. Watch this.” Lemony picked up the box. Rather than having a lid at the top, she pushed the box lengthways, revealing a collection of tiny sticks within the drawer. Lemony picked one out with her teeth and, shutting the box with a hoof, quickly scraped the stick against the side of the box twice. On the second strike, the end of the stick caught fire. Going cross-eyed, she carefully manoeuvred the flame over the candle. Once the wick caught, she shook her head rapidly to put the stick out.

Even though this was the first one she remembered seeing, Retcon hadn’t considered a candle to be noteworthy. However, seeing it now in person, there was something particularly absorbing about watching the little flame flicker and dance.

Lemony was watching it too. She sat beside the trolley, and gestured at Retcon. “Come and have a look.”

Frowning lightly, Retcon settled down adjacent to the unicorn, close to the candle. She watched it, the little light leaving trails in her vision. She wasn’t quite sure what she was looking for.

The twisted emotion in the room faded into the background.

“You’ve seen unicorns casting magic, haven’t you,” said Lemony.

Do I keep watching? “Yep,” Retcon replied, eye on the candle as the wax at the top began to shine. Sky and Sparkler did magic. An aura forms around the horn.

“Unicorn magic is… it’s like electricity, in some ways. It’s a different form of energy, but the way that it feels…” There was a pause. “Changeling magic isn’t like that. It doesn’t spitzensparken, as the griffons say. …It’s more like fire. Don’t ask me why, I’m no expert on magical theory, but…” The wax started to pool around the wick. “When a unicorn channels their magic, you’ve felt the air hum and spark near it, right?”

Retcon cast a sideways look. “Faintly.”

“When a changeling summons a spellform,” began Lemony slowly, emotions resurfacing, “their aura manifests as green flame. It’s not like a restrained torrent, waiting to be given form, like unicorn magic. It’s… It flows, and breathes. It’s different. … I thought I should bring that up.”

Green flame…

“Gurney doesn’t know? He was talking about electricity.”

Lemony smirked. “I don’t think he can appreciate the difference. He’s never cast a spell in his life.”

Hmm…

Shifting her weight to one side, Retcon a forelimb and held it tentatively towards the candle. The dull chitin almost shined as she touched the light. Lemony gasped quietly beside her. The flame was hot, so she gently twisted her hoof before it got uncomfortable. She held it there thoughtfully for a moment, but the heat became too much when it ran through one of the holes in her leg, and she quickly retracted it.

The other mare seemed to lean closer as she examined her foreleg. There was a blackened band around her jet fetlock, near indistinguishable but for the lustreless surface.

“Did that hurt?” Lemony asked quietly.

“…Not much.”

“Hm, might be your… chitin?” There was a slight reduction of tension. “The green fire doesn’t burn that hot, it’s a magic flame that burns into magic energy, but still.”

Retcon’s eyes were still on the candle while Lemony spoke. It flickered and danced, but gently. Nothing like the shifting, energetic, sparkling aura of the unicorns. Was this what she was supposed to see? And the warmth, it was a very… rounded sort of feeling.

She shivered as she played back the sensations of the candle heat moving through her leg.

It flows, and breathes.

She inhaled, holding the air in her lungs, or whatever she had now.

…

…

…

…and exhaled.

She felt Lemony’s eyes to her side, but tried to ignore her.

In…

What is the trigger? What is the spark?

…

It’s magic, it’s not the same thing as fire. It can’t be directly analogous. Maybe thinking too literally was wrong. But…

…out.

…

In…

…

…

If it’s more like a flame than unicorn magic, maybe… maybe she shouldn’t try to force the magic

…out.

…

What if it doesn’t come from within. What if she’s just the spark.

What would that feel like…

…

In…

…

She felt different. Though that may have been from Lemony, who jolted upright beside her. There were mixed feelings, though predominantly… good.

She turned to face the unicorn, causing shadows cast by a gentle green light to shift.

“Uhh…”

Lemony had both forehooves over her mouth, eyes reflecting green. “You did it,” she said quietly.

Looking cross-eyed upwards, Retcon could make out a flickering green light playing about her horn, just out of her vision. It was warm, nicely so.

Oh. She blinked. A blanket seemed to gradually settle over her heart as the realisation set in. She glanced at Lemony, unsure how to react. “Um, I think I got it,” she muttered meekly.

After a moment, Lemony asked, “You feel okay?”

I can do magic. Elated, Retcon nodded, her wings fluttering. She didn’t trust herself to talk.

With a lapse of focus, the gentle heat around her horn vanished. She once more imagined breathing in with her mind and striking a spark across her horn, and the flame returned.

“Wait here, I’ll get Gurney!” Lemony jumped to her hooves and dashed for the door.

The door closed. “Okay.” Her mind was reeling.

I can do magic. I can actually do magic. Like an actual changeling. Just like they said. I’ll be able to change. I can be me again. I can go back to how I was.

Her heart leaped. I can leave. I can change and I can leave.

She found herself pacing, her legs jittery and her wings restless.

Alright, she thought, making herself stand still. How does this work…

Once more lighting her horn, she turned to the trolley and focused on the box of sticks. With the magic now in her grasp, the rest was easier than she expected. By concentrating on extending her will to the box, a small wreath of green flames began to lick at the sides, though it didn’t appear to damage the box. Frowning, she willed it to move, delicately lifting it up from the trolley and into the air in front of her. Given how tough it had been to figure out how to activate her magic, the finer control of levitation came rather naturally. She tilted her head slightly, watching as the box began to slowly rotate in the air, the sticks within rattling as it span.

…This is awesome…

She jumped when the door swung open. The flames dissipated, and the box dropped unceremoniously to the ground.

Gurney stood in the doorway, some papers under a wing. “You found your magic!” the griffon exclaimed, feeling oddly empty without the accompanying emotion. Lemony appeared to hang back somewhere behind him.

“Uh-huh,” Retcon nodded enthusiastically. With a moment’s concentration, she once more wreathed her horn in the magic flame. “I did it!”

“That’s great! Can you shape it into a spellform?”

Into a... “Oh! Watch.” Turning to the trolley, she squinted at the box and focused. With very little effort, she brought the box up into the air once again. “See?” she said gleefully.

“You learned that really fast.”

“It came easy, now I found my magic.” She gently lowered the box back down, letting it settle before releasing the magic hold. “It’s like instinct inside my head already, like you said!”

Gurney pulled the papers from under his wing with a claw. “You want to try transformation then?”

Retcon snapped to attention smartly and nodded. I will not fail.

Gurney quirked a brow. “So this part should also be easy, but, uhh... Well let’s just try it. You ready?”

“Ready.” No question.

“Right. Summon your magic.”

She did.

He paused, and checked the paper. “Actually, let’s go out of order. Push that aura, that magic fire, through your... the core of your being. These are your words, not mine,” he interrupted, “so... go by instinct. What does that mean to you?”

Retcon frowned. I was gonna ask, but... She imagined the grasp of the magic aura she had been able to extend over the box of sticks. Then, she imagined grasping at the aura itself as it played around her forehead. Steeling herself, she then tried to pull it down through the centre of her body.

“Yah!” With an unexpected jerk that almost caught her off-balance, the chaotic warmth of the green flames flashed over her, blinding her momentarily. Blinking frantically, she looked down at herself, watching the last flickering embers burnt out if existence around her black legs.

She glanced back up at Gurney, her blank teal eyes wide with lingering alarm. “Phwoah.”

The griffon was grinning madly. “That’s it exactly! Now, try it again, but this time, hold a vision in your head of the form you want to take. Make it as detailed as you can. Then when you’re ready, ‘hold that vision close to your being’, and do that again.”

“Okay...” Um, green... and wings. Oh, gold eyes. Like this?

Imagining how she used to be, she yanked the magic through herself again, this time prepared for the jolt. Blinking the lights from her eyes...

“Take your time, you’re nearly there,” encouraged Gurney.

Hmm, didn’t work, that wasn’t it. What did I... What if I try to hold the vision in the magic...

*Fwoosh!*

“Oh.” Gurney sounded mildly surprised. “That’s neat.” There was some movement behind him as Lemony peeked her head around cautiously.

I don’t feel different...

Retcon lifted a forelimb up. It was still a chitinous changeling leg, and it still had the same holes in it, but it had changed colour, now sporting an olive shade of green. “Huh. That’s not right.”

“Its a step in the right direction, you’re getting there.”

What is it then, she wondered. What have I missed... I did the right thing with holding the vision, but...

...The vision was too vague. Needs more details.

...

Oh no. Can I even- She shook her head. No, don’t think like that. I can build toward it, one step at a time. I can do this now. I can get there. I can...

Her eyes were drawn to the doorway as she released the magic.

*Fwoosh!*

The room fell silent. Gurney had frozen in place, staring at her.

Retcon blinked, brushing her yellow and orange mane out of her face with a pink hoof.

…Oops…

She didn’t dare look down, instead watching for the reaction as she wilted on the spot.

She didn’t have to wait long. Lemony stepped gingerly past the griffon, eyes wide. “…Huh,” she eventually stated, lifting a hoof to brush aside her own mane. “Tell you what, that’s not half bad.”

“I’m-… I don’t know why I-” Retcon stammered in Lemony’s voice. She could taste the tang of revulsion that was almost lost in the background. She sighed in exasperation, catching herself before she started rambling.

She was interrupted as Lemony pulled her into a sudden hug. Shocked, Retcon hung limply in the embrace. Lemony gave a snort of a laugh, and pulled back sheepishly. “Alright, yeah, definitely uncanny. How come you… wound up like this?”

Retcon shrugged, but was saved from responding by Gurney clearing his throat. “Changelings find mimicry easier,” he said. “It’s possible to invent a new form out of nothing, but copying another pony sounds almost instinctual.”

Retcon nodded mutely. Sounds about right.

“Well, look how far you’ve come!” Lemony said brightly.

“I guess,” Retcon acknowledged, allowing herself a small smile, one which Lemony returned before starting to adjust her own mane with a hoof. There was a warmth in Retcon’s chest that had started at some point, she noted with a degree of guilt, but glancing at Gurney, she wasn’t sure she should say anything.

She drew herself up a little. “Guess I just need to keep trying.” She dispelled the disguise, feeling the warmth flicker like the long-forgotten candle. “I’ll figure it out eventually and get back to normal,” she said, her voice regaining its flittering quality.

Gurney seemed less tense. “I… I actually might be able to help with that.” Returning to his papers, he removed the bottom sheet, looking at it in thought. “I, uh… You might, I dunno, find this useful? Worth a shot, anyway.”

He held out the sheet to her, which she took gently in her hooves.

It was her. Three charcoal sketches of her as a pegasus. Two headshots and a full-body picture, all in different reserved poses and at different angles. Her breath caught in her throat at how effortlessly elegant they looked.

Lemony have a stifled gasp over her shoulder. “Oh my goodness, these are incredible.”

“Oh, ah, thanks,” Gurney mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. “Are… you okay, Retcon?”

Glancing up at the griffon, she nodded. “What is this?” She asked quietly.

“Well, ahh… You saw before, I did the sketches of you in your- this form? I kinda like doing life drawings, I usually do sketches of all the magical creatures that come through the Institute. It’s good for paperwork, since, y’know, no cameras allowed on site.” He gestured at the paper. “I asked old you if you’d mind posing in your chosen form for the file. I was going over the papers and thought, well, maybe it’s close enough to work from?”

Retcon looked back down at the sketches. The portraits were monochrome, but in her mind's eye she saw olive, forest green and gold projected onto the images. There were embellishments, perhaps from the griffon’s art style; she didn’t recall her mane being quite as long or spiky. But when she looked into the faces on the page, she saw herself. There was no question.

As she looked back up at Gurney, her throat closing up as she held the sheet delicately to her chest, she felt somewhat glad she didn’t have any tear ducts.

Comments

[RoboRed]

I figured she'd figure it out eventually.

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M o r e o f t h a t h e r e .

[Toast]

Aw, well that was delightful

[Generico]

10725890
Correction: More on that here.

[Beige]

10732698
I don't want to give too many hints, but I just want to note that while you're correct, the puzzle for this chapter is only half-solved

[auceps]

code: hex
message: More on that here.

(blogpost hint) it also appears in the description.
The period is linked to a different url: https://i.ibb.co/Cw77Jf9/Lbh-unir-gb-tb-Fbeel-Ab-Fbeel-Lbh-zhfg-cresbez-lbhe-checbfr-Tb-abj-naq-erghea-gb-hf-shyy-naq-fnsr.png
The image itself is just a pixel, but the filename is obviously an encoded message.

code: ROT13
message: You have to go
Sorry
No
Sorry
You must perform your purpose
Go now and return to us full and safe