Retcon

by Beige

Chapter One - Awake

49 20 61 6c 77 61 79 73 20 6c 69 6b 65 64 20 74 68 65 20 72 61 69 6e

…Alright now, take it easy…

---

Something was buzzing…

…head…

…skull…

…brain…

Whose-?

…My…

Her head was… wrong…

Her? Yes, that seemed right.

Eyes? Non-responsive. No, they could just be closed. They hurt, though, like she had bumped into a… painful thing.

Ears? She found she could flick them when she thought about it. They felt weird. They seemed not to be functional either. Unless there were no sounds to hear. Ears are for sound. This seemed correct.

Something smelled strange. It smelled like comfort. She felt her chest rise and fall. Breathing. That felt good. Breathing was welcome.

She could move her jaw. Not very far though. She ground her teeth slowly. They were flat. Is that right?

Move.

…You must move.

…

…How do I… move…?

She wanted to open her eyes. Perhaps she should start with that? But they hurt. She closed her eyelids tighter, then slowly, gradually, tried to pry them open.

The world was difficult to discern, but there were shapes, and colours. She could see, but she felt like there should have been more detail.

The nagging sensation was called ‘dizzy’, she decided. Her eyes felt heavy, so she let them fall shut. It was too much effort.

Maybe moving can wait.

…

I’m missing something…

---

…

Shapes

…

Concepts

…

Colours

…

Voices

…

…

Feeling.

It must have a name.

…

I must move!

Thoughts rushed back to her.

She heard a noise. It sounded like air, but it had an association that set her on edge.

Her eyes opened this time, but she was distracted by a strange sensation, a moving, crawling, all over…

She blinked and looked down. It appeared that what she was feeling was her own body moving, the muscles in her fore and back limbs pulling on command, and a weight against her back. Why did her own body surprise her?

And why didn’t she recognise it?

Information.

The stranger lifted her head slightly. There wasn’t much light. She was lying down on a comfortable thing, firm yet soft against her side. It was a nice place to lie down. There was a thin sheet covering her, up to her neck. That too was comfortable. Was she to hide underneath it, such that she couldn’t be seen?

No, maybe that was silly.

She could see her forelegs as she brought them out from under the sheet. They were hard at the bottom, good for walking on. There was a short coat of fur over them. The fur was a nice green. She thought it was nice. It reminded her of… green things.

Hmm…

Trees, perhaps?

Was she… No, she wasn’t a tree. That felt wrong, somehow.

Perhaps she should find a tree, in order to compare herself with its leaves.

Looking around, she saw that she was in a room. Was this where she belonged? The room did not appear to be familiar. There was a wooden box, carved and painted a soft cream, and it looked like it was designed to be opened. Drawers, perhaps. And a table beside it, with some things on it. And there in the corner, a big box that went up to the ceiling. This box had two doors on the front. This one wasn’t painted, and it looked like it had been carved differently. The handles didn’t match the handles of the drawers. Perhaps that didn’t matter.

Words flitted in and out of her mind like moths in the night, few staying for very long. Bed. She was in a bed. Bed room. A room with a bed. Her bedroom? It made sense, but she didn’t recognise it.

She didn’t recognise anything.

She found that her limbs obeyed when she commanded them, pushing herself up into a better position. As she controlled her breathing, she took stock of the room. The walls and floor looked hard, like smooth, flat rock, though most of the floor was covered in a soft carpet. None of what she had seen appeared familiar to her. There was nothing in her memory.

Nothing to remember.

She didn’t even remember herself.

She sat upright, trying to squash the panic building within her. Who was she? Why couldn’t she remember anything?

I have to… What do I have to do?

Taking an unsteady breath, she looked around. “Hello...?” she murmured half-heartedly.

I… guess that’s what my voice sounds like.

Turning, she noticed a window behind her. Some light was coming in. But not much. Not daytime, but not night. She could see the branches of a nearby tree, and the wall of a building just behind it.

The window looked like it wasn’t made to be opened.

Deciding it was time to go, she climbed out from under the sheet, and onto the floor. Her legs, ending with hooves, hit the carpet, and she stood without trouble. She watched her forelegs with doubt as she took a few test steps, but found that walking came to her pretty easily.

Opposite the window was a door, and on the adjacent wall was another door. One of them must be the way out.

As she walked, she noticed that on the other side of the wall behind the table was another room, and inside the room…

No, that’s a mirror. And I guess… that’s me?

There was a creature in the mirror looking back out at her in surprise. The word came to her as she stepped up to it.

Pony.

There were two feathered masses on the reflection’s back, which appeared to shift when she thought of them.

P… Pe-… gasus?

…

I am a pegasus.

Turning this way and that, she took in her image. She saw a pegasus mare with an olive-green coat, and a darker forest-green mane and tail. Both were unruly. She liked the eyes, each a deep golden colour. She had wings resting strangely against her back, but she didn’t open them, they felt comfortable closed. Bringing a hoof up to her chin, she contemplated her face, trying different angles. It was a nice face, she decided, but she couldn’t place if she had ever seen it before.

It was a strange thought to consider.

Taking one last look, as if to commit the image to memory, she turned to the two doors. The closest door pushed open freely into a sparsely-decorated small bathroom. Not what she was after.

The air in the room seemed to turn that bit colder, when she tried the handle for the second door and found that it wouldn’t open.

The pegasus started pacing nervously, noticing just how hard the floor was beneath the carpet. Dare she call out again? Should she knock? Her wings fluttered. The words bedroom and lock seemed to associate well, but it made somewhat more sense for the lock to be on the inside. If it’s on the outside, then that implies that she’s not the only thing here. There must be someone on the other side of the door to have locked it, and they must have had a reason to lock her inside.

Unless… Silly, maybe the door is just jammed!

She almost laughed nervously to herself as she tried the handle again. This time pushing harder against the door, but there was still barely any give, especially in the middle, around where the handle was. Her breaths coming faster, she tried ramming her shoulder against it.

The door would not open.

Terror started to set in as the mare backed away from the door, her eyes flitting from one object to the next. The bathroom had no window, but maybe if she broke the one behind her bed, she should be able to get out through there.

Hurrying to the window, she looked outside. Her room backed onto a courtyard. There were a few trees and bushes and flower beds, but the whole area was enclosed. In every direction she could see brick walls, and a few more windows, though nothing of note behind them. She could see the darkening sky as she looked up, but there was no telling where this place was. No horizon, no hills, no landscape to memorise. A fly crawled up the glass.

Then there was a knock at the door.

The mare yelped in surprise, jumping up onto the bed. Her heavy wings had opened, but the ceiling was too low. She looked frantically around, trying to find somewhere to go.

“Hi, are you up?” came a cheerful, if restrained voice, muffled behind the door.

The mare abandoned words, just vocalising in response, “Ahh!” She was glancing between the door and the wardrobe, wondering if she could jump and hide on top of it.

“I’m coming in, okay?” The voice behind the door was soft, but it set her on edge. It was a question, but it didn’t want an answer.

As the door opened, the pegasus quickly backed up on the bed as far into the corner of the room as she could, one forehoof against the wall as if to climb it.

Peeking around the door was powder-pink unicorn, also a mare. She had a disarming smile, her eyes partially hidden behind a yellow and orange mane. A strange look crossed her face briefly as their eyes met. The only thing which kept the pegasus in place was the lack of malice coming from the intruder. She was… concerned?

“Hey, how are we feeling?” she asked gently, stepping into the room.

The pegasus blinked. She didn’t have any words to offer. She had lots of feelings, but she wasn’t sure how to categorise them.

“…Uh-,” she responded after a moment.

The intruder seemed even more concerned. She raised a hoof, gesturing, “Alright, take your time. It’s okay.”

This isn’t what… What did I expect?

“…I- I feel…” the pegasus started, hesitating at the sound of her voice. It sounded too close by. “…Many… feelings.”

“That’s okay,” said the unicorn with an encouraging smile. “What sort of feelings? Good ones, bad ones?”

“Guh… Bad ones.” Why am I responding? “Lost. …I feel lost.” She raised her head slightly. “Where am I? Who am I?”

The unicorn’s expression softened. What was that, reluctance? “Um, come and have a seat,” she said, stepping closer to and patting the bed.

The pegasus blinked, still standing on the pillows. “I will stand.”

“Sure thing,” the unicorn nodded. “Can I ask how much you can remember?”

“I… Nothing,” she said, frowning. It wasn’t like the dream; floating further out of reach the more it was thought about. Try as hard as she might, there didn’t seem to be any memories for her to reach toward.

“Okay.” The intruder looked her in the eye. “You’re here because there was an accident. You were hurt, I’m sorry to say. Particularly,” she tapped the side of her head. “Honey, you have amnesia.”

Amn- … An accident? But then…

“So we’ve brought you here just for the time being,” the unicorn continued. She raised a pink hoof to her chest. “My name’s Lemony, I’ll be around to help you!”

Lemony… Unfamiliar name.

“So,” the pegasus started haltingly, “do I know you? Do you know me? Who… am I?”

“Hah, I guess… that’s for you to decide! No, we haven’t met before.”

“But what-”

“Ap ap ap!” Lemony interrupted, pointing a hoof. “I know you must have a lot of questions, all in good time, I promise you. Just, for now, you’re gonna need to take it easy, alright?” She gestured at the window. “It’s getting a little late, so let’s pick this up again tomorrow, okay?”

I… suppose… The pegasus didn’t respond. Answers seemed more pressing than what the time of day happened to be.

“Hold on!” Lemony trotted out through the door, then returned pushing a small trolley with her hooves. On it was a sandwich, a whole orange, and a glass of water. “Thought you might want something to keep you going.”

Food… Eat food. Makes sense.

“I’m not hungry.” She was hungry, she noticed begrudgingly, but she didn’t have the appetite.

“That’s okay,” said Lemony, seemingly unphased. “I’ll just leave this here for later then!”

If I kick off from the wall, I could push the trolley into her and get to the door before she could…

“Well, goodnight! I’ll be back again in the morning.”

“Wait!” the pegasus said as Lemony turned. Ask something! “What is my name?”

Lemony looked sad, even though she was still smiling. “We don’t know. I’m sorry.” Her expression changed, brightening slightly. “Perhaps you’d like to think of a new one?”

Waving a hesitant hoof in farewell, Lemony turned and left. Outside the room, in what looked like a hallway, another figure passed behind Lemony. And then the door shut with a click.

The pegasus mare slumped back on the bed, feeling heavy. There was someone else outside. And I almost… Why did I think about hurting her? That’s not a… correct thing to do. She glanced at the no-doubt locked door. And if I had, there was someone on the other side. That would have ended badly.

Her gaze flicked to the mirror.

I have no name.

I have no memories.

I don’t know where I am.

…

I need a name.

Author's Note:

There will be a new chapter every three days.

Comments

[BleedingRaindrops]

Whoa.

I read your blog. What do you mean you can't write? Stop that. You are a good writer. Your brain is not crappy. This is good. Write more stuff. You are good at it.

I like the disjointed thoughts in the beginning, how she can't even parse together what species she is or whether she's supposed to have hooves. Then slowly thoughts come together, and words she doesn't know she knows come to mind.

I'm guessing she's in a sort of hospital, though whether this is a padded room I couldn't make out. I like Lemony, though hearing it makes me want to respond "Snicket". Will this be a bad end tale? That would be interesting.

All in all, I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

[RoboRed]

Interesting start. Interesting clue. Not much to go off of by that one itself but I'm sure the others will make things clearer.

[dark_samus3]

encoding: hex
message: I always liked the rain

[DIRKWITHAGUN]

i've given them exurb1a's voice in my head, despite the fact that they're female.. it seems to fit, for some reason

[Balloon Adrift]

Giving this a read finally. A while ago I combed for OC-based or other interesting stories.

It's very neat how you denote the thought process of this character in their predicament. How they struggle, piece together the environment, and behave (I particularly found it amusing how awkward her motions are, like standing on the bed or climbing against the wall.

Certainly an interesting writing style.

I'm curious about her inner thoughts. They seemed to center quite heavily on not understanding her physical form ENTIRELY. Sure, she had prior knowledge of being a pony, but this struck out as mysterious and odd. However, there was no real mention of severe pain or surgical scars, so I guess brain-swapping is out of the question for theories, hah.

I'll be sure to comment as I read along and the story develops! Glad there's a writer on this site who has their story pre-written and releases assuredly-complete fics.