The Crystal Caves of Confuzzlation (Iota Force Issue #6)

by The Iguana Man

Chapter Two: Slippery Slopes

“I still don't like this,” Alula's voice came out of the team's communication badges, so quietly that only the fact that there were six of them in close proximity made it possible to understand her.

To her side, she saw Scootaloo press a hoof against her badge, the chaotic purple and blue of her costume making the movement hard to pin down in the minimal light. “Yeah, I think we got that by now, Princess.”

“Obviously,” the reply came instantly, “but as you've yet to agree with my position, I maintain that I have the right to continue making my case.”

“We understood it fine,” Archer pointed out, the deep blue of her costume making her movements almost invisible. “but we agreed to disagree...”

“You agreed to that,” Alula interjected before Icy continued.

“...and we outvoted you.”

A quiet fzt fzt came from the badges as Lance tapped his twice, indicating the word “no”.

“We outvoted you and Lance,” Archer amended. “Somepony's gotta look into this and if the guards won't do it, that leaves it up to us. Besides, we agreed we'd just do a quick bit of scouting out until we could find some evidence they couldn't dismiss and we agreed we'd do things according to your direction, what more do you want?”

“Not having to sneak around a royal palace in the dead of night and risk getting arrested might be a good start,” Alula sighed. “Besides, that last part can't really be counted as a concession – I am supposed to the expert on covert operations.”

Icy hummed quietly for a moment before she put a hoof on her own badge, taking a moment to appreciate the cool, smooth feeling of her own recently-acquired suit on her fur. “Is that why you've been having us hide in a broom closet for the last hour?” She asked.

Admittedly, it wasn't exactly a broom closet, more a general storeroom for janitorial supplies. Which, given that said supplies were needed for cleaning a large portion of a palace, meant it was big enough to fit all six other members of the team with plenty of elbow room. Still, the fact that the only light was coming from Dinky's horn made it feel a little more claustrophobic and, besides, Icy thought it was spiritually a broom closet, even if not a literal one.

Icy was brought out of her thoughts on the exact teleological nature of architectural features by Alula's voice. “It's only been fifteen minutes and yes. Because I need to know how often the guard patrols pass within eyesight of the library door so I know how much time we have to get in there. We... wait, quiet!” She whispered, then the badge went dead.

Icy looked to the others, but only Dinky moved, the light from her horn making the movement visible despite the deep red of her suit. After about thirty seconds, Alula spoke again.

“Okay, speak of Discord, the second of the patrols that came into view just passed again. That means we've got...” she paused and Icy could imagine her closing her eyes briefly as she worked out the numbers, “seven minutes to get in there. Get over here if you're coming.”

Almost before she was finished speaking, Archer cracked the door open and looked intensely at the corridor outside. After a moment, she nodded and signalled for the others to follow her.

They all slipped outside into the crystal corridors of the palace. Archer zipped silently over to the corner to their right, peering round it before again indicating for them to follow her.

The team crept silently forward and around the corner, moving extremely slowly despite Scootaloo's minor agitation at that fact. However, it was obvious that Truffle at least had difficulty keeping his steps quiet, so it was understood that it was necessary. Of course, this was part of the reason Truffle didn't often come on stealth missions, in addition to his bright red, yellow and orange protective suit. However, for a mission like this, where stealth was necessary to get to the part of the mission he was useful for, he was happy to come.

After about a minute, the group reached Alula. Well, they reached the T-junction at the end of the corridor where they knew Alula to be – they certainly couldn't see her until she stepped out of the shadows.

“Right,” she whispered, “Archer, with me, I'll need you to watch my back while I get us in. Everyone else, wait here.”

Archer nodded and the two slipped out into the corridor, darting over to the door to the library while Alula slowly shifted from a pegasus into a unicorn, the green distortion to the air around her muted and dark. Once they reached the door, she lit her horn, creating an aurora that moved slowly from the lock and handle onto a circuit of the door and frame itself.

Once that was done, she nodded and the aura ceased, her check for alarms presumably coming up empty. As she reached into a pocket of her deep green suit, the distortion swept over her again, transforming her into an earth pony. As it faded, she took the set of lockpicks in her hooves and set to work on the lock.

The work was silent for Icy, her group far away enough that they couldn't hear the minute tinkling and scratching of the picks. After about a minute and a half, though, there was a barely audible noise and Alula quietly pushed the door open, gesturing for the others to join her.

After another silent minute, the team was all in the library and there was a collective sigh of relief.

As the group moved through the library, they kept an eye out for any other alarms or traps – it was unlikely, they all knew, as any such things were probably on individual books or shelves rather than spaces on the library floor, but it was as well to be careful.

Still, it didn't stop a thought from occurring to Icy. “Hey, Alula?” She whispered as the group turned the corner towards where the hatch lay hidden. Alula flicked an ear, but otherwise didn't respond, prompting her to continue. “Why'd you change to an earth pony to pick the lock? Wouldn't unicorn magic be better to do that – it seems a lot better for fiddly things.”

“It is more dexterous,” Alula replied as she approached the end of the row, “but unfortunately it lacks a far more important quality – sensitivity. Picking a lock requires that you pay very careful attention to tactile sensations and while telekinesis does have something of a sense of touch, it's a lot less precise.” She touched a horn to the spot where they knew the hatch was, focusing as she continued. “Unicorns can train their magic until it has as much tactile sensitivity, but it takes a long time. Time which, I'd say, would be better spent as an earth pony training my natural sense of touch.”

As the illusion faded, Icy nodded. However, after a moment, another thought occurred. “But, hold on, if your magic doesn't have much of a sense of touch, how are you able to scan for alarms and traps?” she asked as Alula did just that on the hatch.

Alula paused in getting her picks out again. “Oh, that's just to scan for magic traps. For physical things, me and Archer have our own specialist tools.”

“Oh?” Icy tilted her head, not remembering them using anything like that. “What are they?”

Alula smirked. “Eyes.” And with that, she started on the hatch's lock.

Icy pouted, but said nothing. She had kind of walked into that one.

After a minute or so, the small click of the lock opening was again heard and the hatch swung inwards, allowing them to see past it to the hole and beyond.

The hole itself was a bit more regular than Icy had expected. As Alula had suggested that afternoon, there were jagged edges all along it, but they didn't extend particularly far towards the centre and their pattern wasn't the irregular star she'd assumed it was. Instead, the hole was more of a roughly carved square, with each side being behind the frame of the hatchway such that the door could open into it freely. If nothing else, it made it clear the hole was made deliberately, most likely by someone chiselling it out rather than smashing through the wall. Of course, that was hardly surprising – since something strong enough to smash through a solid crystal wall would probably have gotten some attention.

However, the area beyond the hole was a great deal more surprising. That is to say, it appeared to be a completely normal passageway. It was clear that it wasn't the same as the hallways of the Crystal Palace – though the corridor went straight forward, the walls were carved in sharp, polyhedral shapes with numerous jutting peaks, shallow craters and oddly-placed angles. It was impossible to tell whether the walls had been carved out in specific patterns or had simply existed as natural cave walls and been smoothed out.

However, the colour scheme, surfaces and the sense of stillness were entirely the same. The corridor was fully lit up even at night, with glowing panels in the ceiling at irregular intervals, giving it an overall mundane feeling.

“Huh,” Scootaloo said after a moment. “Weird – looks kinda boring.”

“What were you expecting?” Alula asked, putting away her picks. “Some sort of stone dungeon with blood caking the walls?”

Scootaloo paused before shrugging. “Well, yeah. When you're dealing with Sombra's stuff, can you blame me?”

“I was kind of expecting that too,” Archer interjected. “Except, in my version, the blood spelled out the words “Evil McBad-Guy's nefarious lair of villainy. Brackets: family pricing available.”

Icy's brow furrowed as she turned to Archer. “Were you really expecting that?” She asked. Archer's perpetual relaxation sometimes made it difficult to detect sarcasm.

Archer chuckled and shook her head. “No, but I might have been hoping a little. I mean, can you imagine how it'd be to see that. Besides, I wouldn't put it past Sombra to put that up just to mess with ponies.”

Icy's brow stayed thoroughly lowered, unable to see the humour in the idea, but not wishing to step on Archer's idea of fun.

Fortunately, Alula spoke up before it could get awkward. “Yes, well, perhaps we could get started before going into what we all hoped to find in here. I don't especially want to hear wishes for banquets, antique comics or Rainbow Dash shrines.”

“Hey!” Scootaloo and Icy said in unison as Alula slipped through the hole. Truffle remained silent and looked entirely comfortable.

The group filed into the hole one by one, with Lance taking up the rear. No doubt behind his fencing mask, his eyes were intensely focused on the area behind them, ready to leap into action if anyone were to try and come at them from there. No one did.

“Now,” Alula said once they were all through, “I'm pretty sure that lock won't engage automatically when we close it, but it's as well to be safe. Dinky, would you mind?”

Dinky turned her horn towards the lock before pausing. “Wait, are you sure? If I'm holding this spell, I won't be able to cast anything else without losing it.”

Alula didn't look back at her, instead looking down the corridor warily. “I'm sure. If necessary, you can drop the spell to help us, but you may not need to. And, to be frank, once we find something good or bad, I want us to be able to leave as fast as possible. I do not want to be surprised by a locked door.”

Dinky hummed but said nothing. Still, she acquiesced, lowering her horn to the lock and expanding a glow around it for a fraction of a second before the glow retreated back into her horn, hovering around there dimly.

Had Icy not seen it before, she'd have assumed Dinky had frozen the lock in time, even though she knew that wouldn't be feasible at her skill level and would be immensely taxing even if she could do it. What she was instead doing was taking a sort of temporal snapshot of the lock in its open state and holding it within her magic. If they needed to open the lock again, she could then revert it to that state in an instant. It wasn't exactly her most frequently used skill, since doing it for anything larger than a tennis ball put notable strain on her, but it was very useful for locks.

Shrugging after a moment, Icy turned and started stepping down the corridor, only to walk into Alula's outstretched hoof firmly barring her way.

“What do you think you'r-” Alula cut herself off, screwing her eyes shut for a second and exhaling heavily. “I apologize, you startled me. I take it you were planning to simply walk down this hallway.

Icy tilted her head, having stepped back in surprise at Alula's tone. “Er, was that... should I not be... was I being stupid?”

Alula shook her head. “No, it wasn't stupid, but it wasn't the best move. There could be any number of traps and hidden dangers waiting down there. We need to proceed with the utmost caution.”

Icy nodded. “Okay, got it.” She looked down the hallway, squinting a little to try and see if she could find anything. After a second, she turned back to Alula. “How do we do that?”

At this Archer piped up. “Well, first off, Alula scans for anything magical for the next little bit,” she said, sounding as though she accepted Alula's level of caution, but thought it was kind of excessive. Looking around, Icy could see varying levels of this in the faces of the others, from Dinky's slightly creased brow suggesting she was questioning it to Truffle's gentle but faintly amused smile to Scootaloo opening tapping her hoof and rolling her eyes, occasionally looking longingly at the scooter folded onto her back.

Still, Alula either didn't notice or didn't care about this skepticism as she nodded. “Indeed. One moment.” She closed her eyes once again as the green distortion enveloped her again, fading out to reveal her unicorn form. Keeping her eyes closed, she summoned a green corona around her horn, out of which flowed a wave of green magic. The field washed over the ground in front of her, spreading forward rapidly before tapering to a stop around ten metres from her.

Nothing major seemed to appear, but it seemed Alula wasn't done. Taking a deep breath, she pushed more energy around her horn, creating a second corona as the field in front of her spread up the walls and across the ceiling of the corridor.

However, the instant the two ends of it converged, the coronas vanished and the fields washed away.

“No magic there.” Alula said, breathing a little heavily but not seeming too drained. “Now we just need to eliminate the possibility of physical danger. Archer, would you...”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm looking.” Archer replied, her eyes focused and moving slowly over the area in front of them. She stepped sideways along the corridor, moving her head to look from as many different angles as she could and occasionally tapping the ground or wall, looking at and listening to the impact.

After about a minute, she nodded. “Nothing I can find for the next five or so.”

Icy lifted a hoof to step forward, only to pause. “So, does that mean we can go now?”

“Not quite,” Alula replied, still looking down the corridor. “It's still possible one of us missed something, so we need someone to go down that length and draw any possible fire.”

“And that's where I come in.” Truffle finished, rolling his neck and looking very pleased at being able to make himself useful. “My suit should be able to take most harm there could be and if it can't, I can.”

He stepped forward, crossing the metaphorical line that Alula's precautions had drawn. However, he didn't go forward straight away, instead moving to the side, to one wall and then the other, repeating this until he had gone about five metres.

Icy breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, now we...”

“Now you stay here.” Alula interjected, quietly forceful. “If there is something in the next three metres we trigger, I want you out of the area of effect so you can remain free to aid us, should we need it.” She pointed a hoof forward, where Archer went after shooting Icy a sympathetic look.

Icy pouted, only for Scootaloo to put a hoof on her shoulder. “Yeah, I know, but trust me – when Princess gets like this, we kinda have to humour her,” she whispered. “I don't like it either.”

“Don't worry,” Archer said back to the group. “Ten more metres and she'll let you come to where we are now.”

“Of course I will, but eight metres,” Alula said, still not acknowledging the general feeling of annoyance. “Unfortunately, there aren't enough distinguishing marks in this passage to accurately keep track of where my field ended and I want to be absolutely safe.”

“You don't say,” Icy mumbled before a thought occurred to her. “Hey, I could mark it for you! Make a little ice cube where your field ends?”

Alula opened her mouth, her expression seemingly ready to point out the problems with that idea, but after a moment her eyes opened. “That... might actually be a good idea. Okay, Icy, when I join them, you come with me.”

“Oh, come on!” She heard Scootaloo mutter, but no more was said. The group by the hatch waited another minute until Archer and Truffle had moved another few metres, after which Alula nodded to Icy and they started moving to join them.

They had just about reached them when Archer held a hoof out. “Hold up!” She stared intently at a point a couple of metres down the corridor before smiling. “Pit trap, looks like, just down there.”

Icy followed Archer's hoof and looked hard. After a few seconds of staring, she could just about make out an incredibly faint seam on the ground. “Huh,” she said after a moment, thankful for Archer's sharp eyes. “So what do we do?”

“Well, first...” Alula lit her horn again and magically scanned down the corridor just up to where the seam was. This time, it was both quicker and obviously more easy for her, as it wasn't extending nearly as far. After a moment, she let the scan go and nodded. “Now, you two should go and examine it.” She indicated to Archer and Truffle, who nodded.

Archer was over there first, naturally, and began prodding at the ground covering the pit. “Hmm, seems like a basic thing – got a latch here that'll drop the floor away when enough weight's on it. Don't know how much pressure it'll take, but...”

At this point, Truffle had strolled up next to her, whereupon he gave the latch a heavy push, making the floor swing down to reveal a hole going down in front of them at a sharp angle.

“If I had to guess, I'd say about that much!” he called back.

Archer chuckled and pulled an arrow out of her quiver, a thin but strong-looking rope tied around its shaft.

Icy thought for a moment. “So, how do we get across? I mean, I could glide across, but...” she looked at her wings for a moment before a thought occurred, “hey, wait, could I make us an ice bridge across? I think I could, but I don't know if it'd be...” she trailed off, a little worried she'd made a fool of herself again.

However, Alula just nodded as they heard Archer's bow fire. “Good idea, but probably wait until they've pulled the covering up first – that'll give you a base for your bridge and give us something to use for balance – make sure we don't slip off. Meantime, maybe you can help them get it up.” She indicated in front of them, where Archer and Truffle had taken the rope and were pulling up the trap door by the arrow now lodged in its mechanism.

Icy nodded, almost-but-not-quite missing how Alula subtly stepped further away from the pit's edge. She trotted up behind the other two and went for the end of the rope behind them.

That's when things started happening very fast.

The instant she stepped up behind them, there was a quiet chnk beneath them as the ground lowered ever so slightly. Archer whirled around and looked behind and beneath them, her mouth just getting out the “P” of a word – though whether she was going to say “pit”, “pressure plate” or “perfect, just frigging perfect!”, Icy couldn't say – before the floor dropped from under them.

However, unlike the trap door in front of them, it didn't fall completely away. Instead, it dropped down to a forty-five degree angle, causing the three ponies on it to slide down towards the edge of the pit. Icy and Truffle tried in vain to grasp the slope, but its crystal surface gave them no hoofholds to go for and Truffle's weight and Icy's less-than-lightning-quick reflexes meant they sailed quickly over the edge and slid down the steep sides of the trap.

Archer almost fared better – she'd managed to get her fall under just enough control to pull another rope arrow out of her quiver and get it to her bow's shaft before she reached the edge, but once she did, the change sent her tumbling again, upsetting her balance and making the arrow fly out of her hooves.

As they fell, they could hear Alula's hoofsteps rush up towards them and, from further back down the hallway, the sound of more hoofsteps, Scootaloo's buzzing wings and Dinky dismissing her spell and calling up her magic. However, none of them were even close to being able to get there in time, no matter how fast they were. Alula almost managed to grab the arrow, but her dive was a couple of seconds late and she slid to a halt in front of the slope just in time to see the arrow land next to the three ponies sprawled at the bottom of the pit.

Truffle glared up at the top of the pit from his position beneath both Icy and Archer. “Well, Princess, I have some thoughts on your method. Couldn't have had the others close enough to help, eh?”

Alula rolled her eyes heavily as the others reached the edge. “No, as it happens, we couldn't. After all, if they'd been too close, we might all have been caught in that trap, then we'd all be stuck.”

Archer blinked heavily, trying to reassert her balance. “She's got a point, Truff. Devious little trick – set up an obvious pit trap to draw attention and put the second drop's edge right in the middle between two bulbs where the lighting'll be worst.”

Truffle sighed. “I suppose. Though good luck pulling me up easily – I'm guessing it was designed for adults and I'm the reason it took only three of us to set it off,” he said, a touch of his normal humour returning.

“Oh, I'm sure we'll manage,” Alula replied. “But, yes, that's why it was important to keep some of us safe, so that we could come and help you if something were to...”

Without warning, a portal flashed into existence beneath the three ponies' bodies. It expanded out of nothing in an instant, covering the whole floor of the pit. It lasted for only a couple of seconds – easily long enough for the three to fall in with a collective yelp, but not enough to get any idea where they were going beyond “somewhere crystal” – and then vanished just as quickly.

There was a pause before Alula finished her sentence. “...happen that is not that because that's thing can't help with and just happened and... and...” she stuttered, beginning to panic before Lance grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her roughly.

She put a hoof to her head and screwed her eyes closed for a moment. “Okay, okay, sorry, I...” She trailed off as she opened her eyes to see that Lance had lifted his mask and was giving her a very disappointed expression.

After a moment, she shook her head. “Was the right call! Couldn't know that was going to happen. All of us could have been just trapped in pit... or trapped wherever they are...”

“And gotten out of it together!” Scootaloo finished, scowling at Alula. “Whatever happened, we would have stood a better chance getting out of it together. Now they're alone and they gotta figure out how to escape – good going, there, Princess!”

“It... it was the right...” Alula stammered before shaking her head. “I... maybe it was but... I mean... I really messed up, didn't I?” Her normal emotionless tone and adult vocabulary deserted her for the moment and it became clear to all observing that, no matter how smart she was or how mature she acted, she was still very much a filly.

Fortunately, at least one of their number had already seen that as Dinky put a hoof on her shoulder in a half-hug. “Yeah, you did, but that's okay. We all screw up sometimes. The important thing is that you try and make it right. They're still okay and they've got to be somewhere in these caves, right? I know you, Alula. I know you can find them and I know you will.”

Alula swallowed, Dinky's soulful gaze pushing down her fear and drawing out her resolve. “You're... you're right, Dinky! I can find... we can find them!”

Dinky nodded and the other two's expressions softened, slightly disarmed by Dinky's aura of encouragement. However, they set again when they heard a relaxed voice behind them.

“Well, hey there, guys! Looking for something? Or someone?”

The group turned, weapons and magic ready.