It’s near noon inside the Blueblood estate and the situation is far from normal. Well, depending on how you define normal.
The entire thing started when an earth pony arrived only half an hour earlier while Zamira was in the shower and a different guard gave a small scroll case to 1313.
Inside the long dining hall on the bottom floor, Zamira is standing under one of the chandeliers and looking up at the large unicorn form of Blueblood curled up around the metal rod on which the chandelier is hanging.
“Get down from there!” she calls out, her voice echoing through the empty room.
“NO!” yells 1313.
“How did you even get there, you don’t have wings?”
“I DON’T KNOW!”
“Fine, I’ll go get the broom.”
“HISSSSSSSS!”
“Stop freaking out like you always do!”
“SHE WANTS TO EAT ME!”
“If she knew about you replacing Blueblood she wouldn’t send a message, she would teleport a unit of paladins right into this room to drag you off.”
“Oh...”
“Sooo?”
“Umm, how do I get down?”
“Asking again, how did you get up?”
“IT’S A BLUR!”
“If that chandelier breaks, it’s NOT coming from my salary.”
“It’s been holding me just fine so far!”
“I’m just warning you for when I start throwing things. Hey, that vase looks interestingly priceless.”
“Okay, okay, I’ve got an idea-” 1313 starts fiddling with his fetlock.
*Crack!*
*Plop!*
“-Ouch.”
“EWWWW, DON’T THROW YOUR BITS AT ME!” Zamira dodges the tossed limb and starts pawing at her head to wipe off the goo that splattered over her.
“Sorry...”
“Just let go. I’ll catch you!”
“Oookay. Three, two, one, go-” 1313 lets go of the chandelier.
*Splat!*
Chunks of his carapace scatter all over the big room.
“-owww… youweresupposedtocatchme...” 1313 grunts towards Zamira whose main contribution to this situation was quickly sidestepping his falling body.
“That’s for gooping all over my mane. You never goop into a mare’s mane,” Zamira turns around and starts walking off, “STAFF! CLEANUP IN THE DINING ROOM!” with a final look back, she adds, “Once you glue yourself back together, meet me in Blueblood’s study.”
***
1313 limps into the study, accompanied by a very stained grumbling servant wearing rubber gloves and a poncho who closes the door behind him.
“Grumpy guy,” comments 1313.
“Just wait until somepony notices the green mess you’re leaving on the carpet,” Zamira nods to the previously beautiful, fuzzy, red carpet all over the floor.
“Ahhh, holes...” 1313 sighs.
“Anyway, if you’re done falling to pieces, both metaphorically and literally, let’s try to guess what’s going on. So, Celestia wants to see you, alone, in the castle dungeons.”
“Mhm,” 1313 nods, “She even left very specific instructions on how to get there as if-”
“As if you’ve never been there before,” Zamira finishes the thought, “Now, it’s possible Blueblood’s never gone down there so don’t freak out again. Hay, I’ve never been there either.”
“Oh...” 1313 blinks in surprise, “I assumed-”
“That a spoiled brat like Blueblood would… what exactly? It’s not as if he spends much time inside the castle in the first place, especially outside of balls and celebrations.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Good. So what did we learn from this?”
“Ummm...”
“We learned to talk to the smart zebra warrior lady before jumping to conclusions.”
“Making a mental note of that right this second.”
“If you throw a hoof my way again, I’ll be sure to carve a rule or two into it in case you forget.”
“Not funny,” 1313 pouts, “Everything still hurts. You try dropping spread-eagle ten pony heights directly on your stomach. Why didn’t you just ask someone to bring a stepladder?”
“I must have forgotten in such a stressful situation,” Zamira shrugs with a smug smirk.
“Ass.”
“Aww, you wanna kiss mine to feel better?”
“Is that how the saying goes? I thought-”
“That’s the version for adults.”
“Got it.”
Zamira shakes her head, sighing.
How is it possible we were outsmarted by these guys?
“Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll go to the castle with you.”
“I’m supposed to come alone. I doubt you’ll be able to intimidate Celestia like you did with the guards last time.”
“That’s why I’ll be waiting outside the castle proper on lookout for anypony with a body bag. If they whack you and throw you in the trash, I’ll swoop in, grab all the bits I can find, and put you back together.”
“You look way too excited at the prospect.”
“What can I say? I enjoy jigsaw puzzles.”
***
For reasons unknown to 1313, Canterlot is brimming with life. The annoying kind of brimming.
“Why are there so many ponies?”
“What?”
“WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PONIES?”
“WHAAAAT?”
1313 gestures at Zamira to lean over.
“Ponies. Everywhere!”
“Oh! The Summer Sun Celebration is tonight. Everypony is getting ready and adding the finishing touches.”
“What’s that?”
“The way I understand it, it’s a celebration dedicated to Princess Celestia,” Zamira shrugs, “I haven’t exactly looked into it, I just usually get hammered from all the stuff imported from everywhere around Equestria and take a few days off afterwards. Speaking of which, you’re technically Blueblood. Can I get the rest of the week off?”
“Can’t it wait for after whatever this meeting with Celestia is about?”
“I would prefer knowing it beforehoof just in case of... you know.”
1313 sighs.
“...you can have the rest of the week off...”
“See? This is why I like you!” Zamira beams, patting his head.
1313 doesn’t reply because just at that moment the warning bells in his head start ringing. It takes him a moment to recognize why with all the milling around but a changeling mind is a wondrous thing in some respects and gives him the answer. A specific assortment of colors and shapes has been following them ever since they left the estate.
Hmmm…
He picks up the pace, making sure to occasionally turn his head as if observing one of the many ponies preparing their concession stand or any other business in the street just to catch a glimpse of the pony following them. As they finally reach the walls separating the castle courtyard from the city, he tells Zamira what exactly to keep an eye out for, and enters the castle proper under the watchful eyes of two Royal Guards on duty.
Unlike the city, the courtyard behind the tall walls is almost eerily quiet, prompting 1313 to keep looking around. Roughly halfway to the castle itself he spots a Royal Guard stallion standing so close to the gilded main gate that his armor is almost blending with it. He’s looking straight at 1313.
Welp, no turning back now.
One wing of the gate is open and 1313 can see the faint shimmer of a magical something in its place.
Breathe, breathe. If he moves the second I pass through, I… what? Do I just run? If I get ousted then Blueblood will blow me up. If I admit what’s going on, no one will believe me. Zamira won’t risk her retirement reward, reputation, and employment to save me.
And so he steps through, ears perked for any sign of the guard’s reaction. Quickened breathing, shouting, a twitch.
Nothing happens.
Maybe they haven’t figured out a universal anti-changeling spell yet. Maybe their alarms only work on specific changelings. I know they work on SOME at least, unless Torchlight was completely blowing smoke. Maybe my disguise is sufficient.
The only thing he can hear as he’s walking through the castle, following the path to the dungeons described in the message he got, are the occasional faint steps presumably belonging to the servants or patrolling guards. No commotion or anything, as if the castle was mostly empty.
Did everyone take a day off to prepare for this Summer Sun thing?
He almost trips as he descends the final set of stairs and sees a paladin standing by the only door at the end of a short hallway on the bottom. The unicorn’s horn flares up immediately, a faint shimmer enveloping 1313 for a moment and vanishing shortly after as he unlocks the heavily reinforced door for the changeling.
They didn’t need to send anyone after me, I came to the dungeons on my own. All they have to do is lock the door behind me now.
*Click!*
1313’s eye twitches as the paladin on the other side does just that.
Wish number two, this stupid necklace falls off without exploding and I get teleported out of Canterlot.
Nothing.
It was worth a shot.
His heart definitely stops for a moment as he reaches the described cell, opens the unlocked door, and sees Princess Celestia sitting on the floor, immediately looking up at him.
“I’m glad you decided to come,” she says, standing up and measuring him, “As I stated in the message, I need your help with something… critical.”
“I’m listening, but why me and not anyo- anypony more suited for this?”
“I think you might be uniquely suited for this. Grandmaster Beacon told me how you fared during the reserve training and I agree with his assessment that you deserve a chance. If a pony like him believes there may be hope for you then there isn’t anything that would make me happier.”
1313 takes a deep breath. His infiltrator instincts keep gnawing at him, telling him that everything is deeply wrong with this conversation, but he can’t put a hoof on what exactly is triggering it.
“Alright, what’s wrong?”
Celestia frowns and starts pacing back and forth, her horn shimmering.
“Yesterday, an assassin got into the castle and attempted to kill an ‘associate’ of my sister,” golden light envelops the room, and when it fades it leaves behind two shimmering silhouettes - one unicorn wearing the standard outfit of castle servants whose face is smooth like that of a ponnequin, and one comparatively tiny silhouette that’s blurry and glitched beyond recognition, “I had a meeting with Luna’s friend here but I was called off on what I believe was a fake meeting arranged exactly to allow for the attack to happen.”
With a flash of her magic, the two silhouettes begin moving.
The unicorn beckons to the other equine the size of a small mare or a big foal hidden under the bed, they crawl out, and a quick skirmish breaks out where the little one gets pushed into the corner.
The entire scene plays out as 1313 watches first with a frown but in the end with a barely controlled scowl. Once the small equine flees through a hole they broke through the cell door, the scene resets and 1313 asks:
“How could a… a young pony survive a stab through their back and chest with a serrated dagger?”
“The identity of Luna’s associate isn’t something I can share at the moment. Focus on the crime, please,” replies Celestia.
“I am, I just don’t see how I can be of any assistance. I’m no investigator, this is a job for the guards.”
“Grandmaster Beacon told me he overheard your conversation with another paladin trainee who was, let’s say, less than charitable in their language about me while questioning castle security. Considering that the assassin got in and out without anypony being able to identify him in any accurate fashion, your ‘friend’ might have been right. What I’m asking of you is to probe in your social circles because I doubt sending anypony from the law enforcement their way would be of any use.”
“Why do you think they’ll tell me anything?”
Celestia looks directly into 1313’s eyes and for the first time he feels like he’s drowning in hers. He sees her pain, her hope, everything in amounts impossible to understand by anyone without innumerable lifetimes of experience.
“As much as it pains me to admit it, nopony will believe that my nephew Blueblood is doing a real investigation. I doubt you can even begin to understand how much you helping me with this would mean to me,” she smiles.
She sounds genuinely happy. I… I can’t just say no, and for once it’s not because Blueblood would blow me up instantly if he learned I made his reputation with his aunt even worse… if it’s even possible.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he breathes out.
“I knew you’d make me proud,” she pulls him into a hug. The love instantly surging through him makes him gasp, and within the few seconds of their contact he knows he’s fuller than ever before in his life.
“Any idea where I can start other than by groveling before Torchlight?”
“My best idea is to talk to my assistant Raven. She’s responsible for keeping my schedule as close to achievable without time travel as possible,” Celestia chuckles, “I’ll instruct her to share everything she knows with you.”
“Thank you. Can I talk to the… victim?”
That’s where the princess shakes her head.
“No, you can’t. Last time I saw them they were badly wounded,” she wraps her wing around 1313’s head, adding in a whisper, “Be extremely careful. If somepony attacked Luna’s friend inside the castle they might have enough influence and power not to be afraid of harming you as well. Be careful whom you trust, just like I am being right now.”
Damn it, I can’t read her at all.
1313 nods.
“I’ll do what I can but I’m going to need some time to think about it.”
“Good luck,” she nods and telekinetically opens the cell door again before vanishing in a burst of golden light.
The only way she could have made this more ominous would be by adding “You’re going to need it”.
1313 sighs and leaves.
***
“Holy crap, you’re alive!” Zamira rushes towards him as he leaves the castle proper, “And in one piece as well.”
“Want me to break something off for you as a memento?”
“If you ever get rid of the terminal case of the kabooms, we’ll talk,” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, “So, what happened?”
“We have a job to do,” 1313’s expression turns grim.
“We?”
“Okay, I have a job to do,” he corrects himself, “First things first, any sign of the pony following us?”
“Nope.”
“Hmph,” he starts walking back towards Blueblood’s mansion.
“Don’t ‘hmph!’ me!” Zamira matches his pace immediately, “What happened? Why so serious all of a sudden?”
1313 leans down to her ear.
“I think Celestia harbored a friendly changeling drone inside the castle and someone tried to kill it to prove her politically weak and incompetent.”
“I didn’t see you react like this while changelings were being finished off in the streets.”
“We were attackers, I can understand that. However, if Celestia tried to make contact even with a stupid drone, she might have been trying to figure out a way for any potential survivors to remain survivors.”
“Oooor to simply interrogate the drone?”
1313 shakes his head.
“No, the drone was perfectly healthy and likely filled with more love than I’ve ever even seen or it wouldn’t have survived such a lethal attack.”
“I know answering this honestly might not be in your interest but is Celestia in danger from the changeling?”
1313 bursts into a crazy fit of laughter, earning an irritated frown from Zamira. When he calms down, he says:
“Only if she trips over it and falls down a long set of very hard stairs covered in spikes and anti-alicorn poison. On their own, drones are harmless… mostly.”
“Mostly? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Didn’t you want the rest of the week off?”
“Screw that! This sounds way more fun.”
“You’re a weird zebra, you know that? Okay. I’ll tell you everything I saw and you can help me by sharing all you know about Blueblood’s circle of ‘friends’.”
Big old question mark if Celestia realizes Blueblood is a changeling at the moment.
If the Grandmaster noticed something strange, and/or if that barrier silently detects disguised changelings, it's highly likely she knows. Though if she does know, makes you wonder about her trying to figure out where the real Blueblood is. So... hmm.
answer to the candy question:
They are able to temporarily be the most convincing pinkie pie clone ever due to the sugar rush reaching warp speed.
10948127
Considering that the Changeling pretending to be Blueblood is currently showing more promise and doing a better job then the actual Blueblood ever could be trusted to do, 'Do I want him back?' is a legit question.
10947700
Wat wat, in da butt.
10948127
It's totally a big mysteryyyyyyy. There's so much depth to this story and that's why it's one of the most renowned story on Fimfiction- oh wait, it's not.
10948137
Note to self - have 65536 somehow turn into cotton candy for the full Ponk treatment.
10948164
There's one thing I'm sticking to from the show, and that's that Celestia is probably the only pony who genuinely loves Blueblood despite him being... him.
10948295
On the other hoof, the Paladin Order seems to be okay with looking the other way in this case. Because it might be a Changeling but... Blueblood really is a pain to have to deal with normally.
Oh, 1313 is suddenly all proffessional.
10948649
He's a good, nice buggo deep down, somewhere in the pile of all the broken pieces.
Changeling eats All the candy?
Discord gets 500 years off?
Yaay, 1313 survived a meeting with Celestia.
Talking about Blueblood in third person even while adressing 1313 directly? She knoooows.
Well, I don't know if it really says all that much...but Chrysalis was always the brains of the operation. The rest just needed to follow her lead to the letter, and eventually a plan would come together successfully.
Now that sounds very fun and very worrying at the same time.
You know, weird as their dynamic obviously is, 1313 and Zamira make for a pretty good team--I can totally see them going all "detective on the case" here. (Heck, I wouldn't even mind another story at some future point that's just all about that, 1313 and Zamira off solving crime. )
10948127
Pfft, as far as I'm concerned, it's a foregone conclusion that she knows (or at least very strongly suspects, hence why she didn't just call 1313 out)--why else would she turn to specifically Blueblood for a matter as sensitive as this? She might actually care for the guy despite his whole laundry list of faults, as 10948295 says, but she also knows Blueblood is still...well...Blueblood. If she really was going to be give the real Blueblood a chance like this, she'd more likely start him off with something more small, sensitive, and less likely to get him killed. So no, she's definitely onto 1313, though probably hedging her bets still as a precaution and maybe a loyalty test...just in case. Or maybe to just give 1313 the sense of security by letting him believe she's not onto him, and give him an "out" in all of this still if he so chooses it.
My guess is that she's assuming that if Blueblood is the changeling she suspects, then she's hoping that 1313's changeling perspective will be able to catch the trail she herself could not, and proceed to do the things to get their guy (or gal, I suppose) that she herself or those under her command could not do either.
10948879
- Yes, ALL THE CANDY!
- Oh right! Chronologically, Dickrod gets set free again in a few months.
- And didn't even leave any bits behind. What horrible, inconsistent writing this "author" does.
10948925
10949009
- Also, that's pretty much the reason why changelings as a species are as screwed as they are now.
- Hmmm, this reminds me... did I do the marshmallow thing or did I forgot to write the marshmallow thing? Time to check earlier 65536 chapters.
-
[In Equestria's justice system there are two branches - the changeling who catches the criminals and the zebra who prosecutes them. These are their stories, Dun Dunn!]
"You're a loose cannon, 1313! Give me your badge!"
"I didn'T get any. But I can give you this piece of my chest chitin if it helps. It has 'POLEES' carved into it."
*Crunch!* *Squirt!*
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
[Written by Wolf Dick.]
- Pfff, Celestia knows squat, she's just a nice but slightly senile old lady, didn't you see DWK's "Totally Legit Recap" of Celestial play?
10948925
And yet she giving him love. I read enough changelings stuff to kwon stuff like "and now I'm giving them my love" but I don't think it's working in here. I think it's hard to love someone if you actually know it's an imposter, until Celestia cares about Blueblood that much
That was mean. 1313 didn't deserve splatting on the floor like that