Under the glow of the moon

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Comments ( 4 )

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ExplosionMare

ExplosionMare #1 · Dec 30th, 2020 · · ·

Wow, that was pretty graphic compared to what I normall read (it is rated M though ). I still liked this story though despite how short it was.

I would like to make some grammar suggestions, but only a couple. The majority of the grammar is fine as it is. Here are my two suggestions:

”Step...step...step” doesn’t need quotation marks around it. The italics on their own are enough.

“Crimson red” can be shortened to just “crimson”. “Crimson red” sounds redundant.

That is all, have a good day!

lost worlds

lost worlds #2 · Dec 31st, 2020 · 1 · ·

10606193
You know what... sure, why not. I don't plan on going too far out of my way to fix up this little story, after all it was written for other purposes. I am glad you enjoyed it though, and since it was recent enough and you were rather kind I went ahead and made the corrections. They seem accurate and I do agree with them at least, thank you for the time spent reading my little short story and I hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful newyear

ExplosionMare