Astray Advice

by Jest

Sour Studies

Twilight Sparkle desperately wanted to start pacing. Every fibre of her being told her to do just that, yet she refused to do anything of the sort. Instead she silently stood outside the restaurant, vibrating ever so slightly as she attempted to casually wait for her date.

The streets of Canterlot werent terribly busy, but with the sun beginning to dip low in the horizon, a good number of ponies had emerged from their homes. Some were on their way to a rather famous play being performed across town while others like her were likely going out on the town. Or at least Twilight would be, if her date was actually here.

Twilight didn't have to turn around to know that she was standing in front of a perfectly middling restaurant of average quality. Something that wouldn't make her look cheap, while also not blowing the budget and making it seem like she was trying too hard. All things she was terrified of doing considering this was the first date she had ever been on.

Remembering what she had learned, the pony breathed deeply. She then leaned against the nearby lamppost and went back to observing the ebb and flow of traffic with a neutral expression.

That was until a taxi stopped nearby, allowing a familiar looking pony to step outside. Or at least she appeared to be familiar at first glance, as she at least had the same color fur and mane as Moon Dancer. Unlike every other time Twilight had seen her, Moon Dancer had done her hair, and not only that she had slicked it with what looked like motor oil.

Her simple sweatshirt had been replaced by a leather jacket one size too large for her, and her glasses were nowhere to be seen. Once outside, Moon Dancer paid the taxi, and turned to leave, squinting as she looked around. Upon noticing a disheveled Twilight standing a dozen metres away, she started to approach the other mare.

That was until the pony pulling the taxi cart frantically approached her, waving a hoof. “Miss, hey miss! You overpaid me!” he shouted.

Moon Dancer blinked, and turned around. “Oh uh-” she glanced at Twilight and then puffed out her chest. “Haven't you ever heard the term 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth?’”

The stallion stopped, blinked, and then shrugged his shoulders before going back to the cart he had been pulling.

A smirk grew across the leather clad pony’s face, and she gave Twilight a nod. “Hey beautiful. Your here early. Though I guess that's not a surprise.”

“I was in the area,” Twilight replied without even looking in Moon Dancer’s direction.

“I’d welcome you in my area,” Moon Dancer exclaimed, stepping a little closer.

“What?” Twilight asked, blinking in surprise.

“Err I mean, it's a really nice area,” Moon Dancer quickly backpedaled, her confident facade fading only to be quickly donned once more.

“I guess,” Twilight exclaimed in a dismissive stone. “I suppose we should go inside.”

“I am rather hungry and nothing goes better with a cool salad like a hot babe,” Moon Dancer stated before trotting towards the restaurant.

Twilight shrugged, and followed behind the other pony at a slight distance.

Together they entered the eating establishment, and took position at the end of a short line of ponies waiting to be seated. At the forefront stood a polite maître d' who wore a smart bowtie around her neck, and a slight smile on her face. While Twilight appeared bored and aloof, Moon Dancer seemed furious at the wait.

So much so that by the time they reached the front she hopped up onto her back hooves in order to glare at the staff member. “What's the deal makin us wait so long? I got a reservation you know!” Moon Dancer exclaimed.

The unicorn mare merely raised an eyebrow, and glanced down at her list. “And under what name would that be?”

“Moon Dancer,” stated the pony in question.

“Ahh yes, I see you here,” remarked the staff member, who frowned when she looked down on the other mare. “Though we do have a dress code, as well as a policy on scents.”

Twilight shrugged. “Sorry, I couldn't be bothered to shower today.”

“Wait, you smell bad? I can't smell a thing over all this hair gel,” Moon Dancer muttered.

The maître d' sighed and gestured towards the back of the restaurant. “Please seat yourselves in one of the boothes closest to the kitchen.”

“Sounds good to me,” Twilight murmured before walking away.

Moon Dancer was close behind her date but not before shooting the staff member another glare.

Once seated, the two ponies stared at one another, an awkward silence quickly falling over them. One which Moon Dancer broke after it had stretched on for almost two whole minutes.

“So, what's a pretty little thing doing… Wait no,” Moon Dancer paused, and scratched her chin. “Sup?”

“Nothin,” Twilight replied, slouching into her seat and looking up at the chandelier which hung overhead.

Moon Dancer leaned in and flashed her date a smirk. “You know you’d be prettier if you smiled.”

“Probably,” Twilight admitted without missing a beat.

Moon Dancer leaned back, a confused look crossing her face.

“Greetings, my name is Short Shift, and I will be your waiter this evening,” announced a voice, causing both mares to turn to a short demure teal pegasus standing next to their table. “Can I get you some wine, or perhaps just water to start?”

“Champagne!” Moon Dancer declared, clopping her hoof against the table. “My date and I need to start this night off right.”

“Err, okay then,” murmured the pegasus, who turned to Twilight. “And what about you miss?”

“She's having champagne too,” Moon Dancer interrupted.

Twilight shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Oookay then,” muttered the pegasus. “Would you like a menu of our wines, or would you like the house champagne?”

“Whatever, just hurry up. We’re thirsty mares,” Moon Dancer exclaimed, making a shooing motion at the pegasus.

The waiter frowned, but quickly schooled her features. “I’ll be right back.”

With her departure, the pair of mares exchanged frowns before Twilight looked away, and Moon Dancer smirked once more. An uncomfortable aura of distaste hung over them, one that Twilight made no attempt to dispel, and which Moon Dancer ignored completely.

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?” Moon Dancer asked. “I bet it's something like Just In Beaver, right?”

“That depends,” Twilight began, glancing at her date only out of the corner of her eye. “What do you like?”

“I like…” Moon Dancer paused and looked down at her hoof. “Rock or Roll and-” she squinted. “Metal.”

“I like metal, copper is my favorite,” Twilight stated.

“I’m more of a steel mare myself,” Moon Dancer replied before looking down. “Wait, werent we talking about music?”

“I guess so,” Twilight murmured.

“Your champagne madam,” greeted the waitress, who deposited a bottle on the table as well as two wine glasses. “Are you ready to order or do you need time to look at the menu some more?”

“We didn't get menus,” Twilight exclaimed.

Short Shift pointed to the otherside of the table where two menus sat unopened.

“Oh,” Twilight murmured.

“It's fine, I know what to order,” Moon Dancer interrupted. “I’ll have the heartiest salad you got, while the little lady here will have a ceaser, light on the dressing. She has to watch her figure.”

“Well I never,” exclaimed the waitress. “Excuse me madam, but you shouldn't talk to your date like that.”

“Err, I shouldn't?” Moon Dancer murmured, recoiling into her seat.

“No you should not,” declared the waitress. “Though your date seems to have made some poor hygiene choices and could use a brush, she is quite thin.”

“Thank you?” Twilight muttered, scratching her head.

“But I watched all the movies. This is how your supposed to act if you want to get the girl,” Moon Dancer exclaimed, gesturing to her clothes.

“Wait, I thought you were supposed to act aloof and uncaring to make them want you more,” Twilight interrupted.

“You’re supposed to just be yourself,” stated the waitress, who quickly noticed the confused looks on her customer’s faces. “I think I’ll give you two another few minutes.”

“So…” Moon Dancer whispered.

“So…” Twilight mirrored.

“What book did you read?” Moon Dancer inquired.

“How to win dates and get the pony of your dreams,” Twilight remarked, a blush crossing her cheeks as she nervously tapped her forehooves together. “What movies did you watch?”

“Die hard, and a whole bunch of other ones my uncle lent me after he heard I was going on a date,” Moon Dancer answered. “I don't think he wanted me to act like that though.”

“I don't think I should have listened to the book either,” Twilight admitted.

“So…” Moon Dancer ran a hoof through her mane, and pulled out a scrunchie, doing her hair back up in its signature style. “Can we pretend like the date just started?”

“Sure, but if all that stuff was wrong what should we do then?” Twilight inquired.

“Maybe we should just hang out?” Moon Dancer offered. “I know it kind of sounds silly but I just want to be with you, like before.”

“Not exactly like before though, right?” Twilight gently asked, extending a hoof across the table.

Moon Dancer shook her head and took the offered limb in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Not exactly like before. Now there will be much more hoof holding,” Moon Dancer stated.

“And kissing,” Twilight added in a hopeful tone.

“Maybe. It depends what you order,” Moon Dancer stated.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked in a shocked tone.

“I wouldn't want to kiss you if you ordered a blooming onion or something,” Moon Dancer replied, the mare barely containing a giggle.

“I don't think they serve that here, though I hear their escargot is to die for,” Twilight remarked with fake enthusiasm.

Moon Dancer recoiled her hoof and shivered in disgust. “On second thought, maybe we should go to that place that serves deep fried onions the size of my head.”

Twilight giggled. “So, what's with the jacket?”

“I thought it looked cool,” Moon Dancer frowned, and tugged at the loose fitting article of clothing. “It's not even real leather.”

“You know what is real?” Twilight asked, blushing slightly.

“What's that?” Moon Dancer replied.

“How much I like you,” Twilight declared.

“I like you too Twilight,” Moon Dancer replied, grinning from ear to ear.

Author's Note:

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Comments

[Jest]

Slightly sadder, slightly more hopeful, but still funny. I hope you all enjoy it.

[nagolucky510]

I enjoyed this read! It was short and sweet, and the dialog was funny, especially the lines about Twilight's figure. Her awkward "Thank you?" was probably my favorite line.

[Cocoa_Creme]

Awww, this is so freaking cute!