Chapter 3: The Terminal Dreamer
With a scream, Celestia sat bolt upright. She looked around, confused as to where she was, ready to fight off the monster now that she had regained her ability to move. She threw a punch to where she was sure it was—and punched Luna directly in the nose. Luna was promptly knocked to the floor.
“LUNA! Oh no, I've booped you too hard!”
“I’m fine,” said Luna, standing up, and holding her nose, a thin stream of silver dripping from it. “I should have expected that. Regardless, you still hit like a little filly. A very small one. Just like one thousand years ago.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” Celestia looked around, still confused. “Where—where am I?”
“Twilight’s bed.”
Celestia froze. She immediately lifted the blankets, peering under them.
“No,” sighed Luna, rolling her eyes. “She is not in there with you.”
Celestia let out a sigh of relief. “Thank me...”
“She should be on her way, though—”
As soon as Luna said it, Twilight came rushing into the room, stopping so suddenly that her hooves skittered over the crystal tile. She would have fallen over had Starlight’s magic not caught her.
“Celestia!”
“Twilight. I’m—I...” The memories came back at once, and she cried out. “Fluttershy!” she said. “I think I—I think I’ve done something terrible—”
“Fluttershy’s fine,” said Starlight. “You yelled at her, and it scared her, but she’s fine. Physically, at least.”
“But I struck her with my magic, I saw her body...she...”
“You never did that,” said Twilight, sounding confused. “You started yelling and then you...well, you collapsed. Starlight and I got you back to the castle and we got Luna right away.”
Celestia turned to her sister. “Luna, I...something...happened...”
A third pony sauntered into the room. Trixie, who was chewing on something very crunchy, swallowed and then shivered. “Ugh. The Great and Powerful Trixie HATES spiders. Stupid spiders. Such tiny brains and so many legs.” She shuddered, then looked up at the room looking at her. “What? Did I miss something?”
Celestia sighed. “Twilight. I’m sorry. I should have kept my composure better.”
“No, no, Princess, it’s not your fault!” Twilight ran to her bedside. “We shouldn’t have gone outside, not with you in your state! We should have just stayed inside and read a book! Nothing bad ever happened from somebody reading a book!”
“Except that one book Trixie read with weird face on it,” said Trixie. “That...went poorly.”
“Stop lying, Trixie, we know you can’t read!”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie knows nothing at all! Her ignorance is exquisite and utterly perfect!”
“We know,” sighed Starlight, entering the room and approaching Celestia. “That was scary, but we got you back, and that’s what counts. And we got some readings.”
Celestia saw Twilight’s expression darken severely.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“It’s fine,” said Twilight. “It’s okay.”
“Twilight," said Celestia, firmly but kindly, "you were always bad at lying.”
Twilight looked up at Celestia, tears welling in her eyes. She wiped them away. “You’re right, Princess. I’m sorry. But I’m going to make you a promise. We’re going to figure this out, okay? And everything’s going to be alright in the end. I promise.”
Celestia smiled softly and gently hugged Twilight. Then she faced Starlight. “How bad is it, Starlight?”
Starlight, her own expression dark, took a breath. “Alicorn brains are different from other pony brains. But...to put it bluntly...”
“Please don’t be blunt,” whined Twilight.
“You’re in the process of kicking the bucket,” said Trixie. "Hard."
“TRIXIE!”
“What, she wanted it blunt!”
“No bucket is being kicked!” said Starlight, her voice a harsh growl. She cleared her throat and turned back to Celestia. “Princess. You’re having a level of cognitive decline. Now, it might be an isolated occurance. That could be it. Just too much stress, or an injury maybe, or you ate something bad.”
“That’s probably it,” said Twilight. “I’m sure it is.”
“Or?” demanded Celestia.
“Or,” continued Starlight, taking a deep breath. “It could be degenerative.”
“Dementia.”
Starlight nodded.
“I see.” Celestia turned to her sister. “Then you need to screen Luna too. If it’s affecting me, it’s sure to be affecting her too. Even if it ends up being too late for me, she doesn’t have symptoms yet. She might still have time.”
“Celestia, no!” cried Twilight. “It’s not too late! We can still fix this! I made a promise, didn’t I?”
“Twilight, I’m over a thousand years old.” Celestia patted her head. “To be honest...I have been considering that this day would come eventually. I just didn’t think it would be so...soon.” She paused, then chuckled, humorlessly. “Look at me… ‘soon’. After fifteen pony lifetimes, and I’m still not ready.” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t matter. Luna—”
“Was in stasis on the moon for a thousand years,” said Starlight. “While you took the long way around. She should be safe. But I can run the tests if it will make you feel better.”
“Meaning you do not need to worry about me, dear sister,” said Luna. “And, additionally, you do not need to worry about yourself. We have faced much greater challenges than this. You did manage to send me to the moon, after all.”
“We’re going to handle this,” said Starlight. “And do everything we can, no matter what it takes.”
“But for the time being,” said Luna, “I will be staying in the castle with you. So that our friends can do their tests and create a cure.”
Celestia looked to her sister, and to the other ponies. Then she nodded. “Alright,” she said. “If you think you can help, I suppose I’m trusting in you, my faithful student.” She patted Twilight on her head, and Twilight sniffled. “Do what you can, and I’ll do what you ask.”
Sitting at Twilight’s kitchen table, Celestia slowly ate the frosting off a cupcake. As she did, a platter was pushed onto the table. In the center of it was a bowl of soup.
Celestia leaned over the edge of the table and looked down to see Spike placing the platter.
“It’s soup,” he said. “I made it. Twilight said you were sick, and whenever I get sick she makes me chicken-noodle soup.”
“Chicken?” Celestia peered into the bowl. “Are there...chickens in there?”
“It’s just a name. Like how toothpaste doesn’t have any teeth in it. It’s just noodles and broth.”
“Of course. Thank you, Spike.”
“You’re welcome, Princess. If there’s anything you need, just let me know. I’m always around here somewhere.”
Spike waved as he went off to help Twilight and Starlight, who were no doubt deep in Twilight’s library pouring through books to find what precious little was known about alicorn neurobiology.
Across the table, Luna sat down.
Celestia looked up. “Sister,” she said.
“Celestia.”
“I have to ask. Did you have anything to do with the dream I had?”
“Dream?”
Celestia pulled the soup closer and levitated a spoon, but ended up just staring at its watery surface. “I couldn’t move. And I saw...things. Like ponies all around me, but they didn’t move. And then there was a thing...a horrible thing. Speaking gibberish. And it...came to choke me.”
“That sounds like a sleep paralysis demon. I’ve had it a few times myself.”
Celestia looked up. “You didn’t have anything to do with it, though?”
“Sister. I would never do that to you. I have always endeavored to make your dreams as pleasant as I can. That said, I am not the originator of dreams. I merely guide them. And when I tried to reach you, I could not.” She paused. “Which makes me...concerned. Afraid, even. Which I suppose is why I am not so enthused by the thought of leaving your side.”
“Even if it means you have to watch me...go?”
“You’re not ‘going’ anywhere, sister.”
“But if I was, would you...still be here?”
Luna got up and moved her stool closer to her sister. She sat on it, and put her hoof on Celestia’s. “I am going nowhere, sister. Nowhere at all.”
Celestia smiled and took a spoonful of soup. It tasted like water.
"Besides, I was losing the war on those zukkanees. In would rather be here to escape the dire shame of defeat." She paused, sighing. Then she smiled to Celestia. “We can take a walk later if you like."
Celestia shook her head. “I...I don’t think I can go back to Ponyville.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Why, sister?”
Celestia stared at the far end of the table. “Because...it’s wrong.”
“That makes no sense. If there were perversion or heresey, I would have rooted it out by now.”
“No. You don’t understand. Not in a moral sense but in a...I don’t know how to describe it.” Celestia paused, thinking. Then an analogy occurred to her. “Its the buildings. Something about them. Like, if I walked up to one and threw open the door, there wouldn’t be anything on the other side. It would be empty, or the doors just wouldn’t even work. Like they’re buildings on an old movie set.”
“We can check the doors, Celestia.”
“NO! No, no we can’t because...” Celestia paused, then took another breath. “Because I’m even more afraid I might see it. I couldn’t take it. It would break me.” She paused again, putting her head in her hooves. “And the ponies...the ponies.”
“The ponies?”
An image flashed into her mind. Of what had claimed to be Fluttershy. Of her face staring back at her, her skin sallow and strange, like wax or plastic, and her eyes enormous and dead even as her lips moved and she spoke in a bizarre monotone about tea. A face that was not a pony, and not Fluttershy.
“It’s like they’re not them. I don’t know how to explain it. Like if I threw open their doors, there would be no ponies inside.”
“Sister?”
“I know she’s Fluttershy. Of course I do. But my brain didn’t recognize that. Like she was somepony else entirely...”
“Like a changeling?”
Celestia shook her head. “No. Changelings replicate ponies perfectly, but she didn’t. She was...something else. Something way too obvious.” She thought for a moment, wracking her brain to try to understand her own subconcious thought process. Something so firm, and yet at once so ephemeral. “But...not something I think was supposed to be obvious at all.”
“Starlight suggested that this is a manifestation of Capgras Syndrome. A part of your condition.”
“I don’t really need to know it’s name. It’s just...unpleasant.” Celestia sighed. “I couldn’t imagine looking at you and...and seeing you like that. Like you not being you.”
“I am me. I always have been. I think I always will be.” She paused. "Except for the brief period when I was not, I suppose..."
“That’s more than I can say for myself. Luna, I think I’m going mad.”
“If you weren’t mad you’d never have become a princess in the first place.” Luna patted her sister’s shoulder. “Eat your soup. Rest. Spend time with Twilight. She is gravely concerned.”
“And you’re not?”
“She became a princess herself, did she not? I have faith in her abilities.”
Celestia pondered for a moment, then smiled. “I guess you’re right,” she admitted. “If anyone can fix this, it’s Twilight.”
Celestia sat, alone, somewhere on Twilight’s roof. Escaping the others was not an easy thing, especially for perhaps the largest pony in all of Equestria, but Celestia had lived well over a thousand years and knew how to vanish quickly and silently when necessary.
This was the first time she could remember, though, that it was for her own sake.
In the cooling breeze, she looked west, watching as the sky ignited from the glow of the setting sun. She watched it and, all alone, when no one was relying on her to be strong, she cried.
She knew it was unfair—that she should be sad when it had been so long. When better ponies than her had aged and departed before she had even grown out of foalhood. That her immortality was a gift offered to so very few—and that she had taken it for granted that alicorns would always live forever.
There was so much she had not done. She had never fallen in love. She had never had children. She had never traveled the world, instead spending century after century in a the same boring castle. There were so many adorable animals she had never even seen outside of books, and epic discussions—and equally epic battles—with philosophers, wizards, and scientist alike that she would now never have—and there were even, out there, somewhere, types of cake she had not yet even tasted.
Worst of all, it occurred to her that there were so many ponies that could have been her friends that she had simply never met, who had lived out their whole lives without her knowing. Perhaps her best friend could have been out there, somewhere. Or perhaps that pony would come after she was gone.
She imagined her funeral, and how sad her current friends would be. Twilight would be so sad, and so would Luna, although she would pretend to be stoic. Even Philomena, herself an immortal creature, in a sense, would weep phoenix-tears, perhaps not understanding why her oldest friend would not wake up.
This thought made her sadder than all the others. Her life had been long, and she had chosen how to live it—but making other ponies sad made her the saddest. The thought of her, lying in state in a casket—or worse, Twilight and her friends watching her slow decline as she lost her faculties. As their once strong and beloved princess became a frail, damaged thing before them. Before she herself became a burden before the final end.
Most frightening of it all, though, was the inevitability. It was something Celestia had never faced, and something she had never understood. The very thought of it was like a hammer to her mind, straining and fragmenting pieces of her in ways she could barely have ever even begun to comprehend. It frightened her, as did the powerlessness of it all. That there might very well be nothing she could do to change it.
She knew Twilight would try to help. She knew Luna trusted Twilight and that she herself trusted Twilight more than any pony in all of Equestria—but she knew her student, and knew her well. That Twilight was acting out of desperation. That she was trying to solve a problem that might have no solution. That there were some feats that magic simply could not accomplish.
Celestia sniffled and dried her tears on her wings and stared out at the sun. She could not help but smile, realizing that she was like the end of a day. Her most beautiful years had been the last nine, just as the most beautiful minutes of the sun’s course were its very last. That thought was the only one that comforted her—and she resolved to do her best. That when it came to her end, she would protect those that mattered to her. No matter what it took.
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I love this story and this damn! Yes cure aging a dementia! What of the "Little Ponys, hmm?"
Thank you Luna for caring the mortals that just die to quickly. Oh, sister has lived for 1500 years?
For everyone moment you make me roll my eyes. You bring equally tears.
1000 seems quite young for an "immortal". That might make (very) long term space exploration tricky.
Quite an understatement
I really hope she wasn't doing what's implied here
Is Celestia still dreaming here?
Unless I'm reading this wrong, you're implying that alicorns are long-lived, not immortal and Celestia is experiencing the early stages of dementia.