apple short
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A story by apple short? Instant fav. Also, I think this may possibly be a train station soon.. who knows.
Nope.
Lol I can't believe you really posted it even after I told you it was a bad idea
I have to say, this story is a much, much easier read than 'The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis'. Improvement!
apple short, being honest here, you have actually done a lot better, though your genre of choice will garner a lot of downvotes, because this is just a gore fiction for the purpose of being gore. For your next story? I suggest you either A) try doing a fairly normal genre (Try making a sad or uplifting story perhaps?) or B) improve upon your execution (Instead of 'gore, gore, gore', try setting an unsettling mood first, then slowly have a scene of gore or two.)
But hey; you /have/ improved. Sooner or later you'll be able to write stories that more people will truly enjoy if you keep this up.
1237318 You EDITED THIS?! I've got to figure out what this is about...
*after reading this*
apple short, you've done it. You've met with 'Cupcakes' in level with how dark and gruesome this is. I'm letting you know now that I did NOT expect to type those words, so be proud... or be completely horrified with yourself, I don't even know.
Normally, good stories get mustaches, considering this is however something that made me feel disturbed, have a crying Fluttershy.
Wow. EVEN THE TITLE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Twilight gets killed, yet you're making APPLE pie.
Wow.
1237658 Edited, brainstormed, and pretty much completely wrote based off of a couple paragraphs he sent me and some ideas we tossed around lol... I found out a few weeks back I know the author irl and convinced him to try and write together. Ofc I'm no big fan of gore so I kinda made him promise not to list me as writer or editor for this. Obv I didn't make it clear enough
Still on a purely quality of writing level I'm quite proud of how this turned out. for the story... I'd rather forget it 
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/482/template.jpg
I'm here for the rage, just so you all know. Entertain me!
Still a few missed caps in the first couple paragraphs but I do believe this is Cupcakes 2.0. Somehow you turned from 'Writer of one of the shittiest fics on this site' to 'Gore writer'. Also McIntosh is supposed to be spelt Macintosh. And have a sadshy.
But one little problem.Why didn't Twilight just use her magic to get out?That's the only big plot hole in the story.Well. I skimmed over most of it and didn't see that her horn was gone.
1238370 From the beginning of the fiction she had her horn removed mate.
1238743
Oh... dang. I tend to skim over these gore fics...
1238750 Not a problem ^^
Well, you get a thumbs up form me. I can appericate this what it is, and it does what its intended to do. It's good as far as shock/gore fic's go.
Now, If you'll excuse me, I need to go hug my Fluttershy plushie now.
This is much better than your last one, in that it is Legible.
Big ups to Applejackisbestpony, for an awesome job.
The problem with this is that the story itself is not what people want to read.
People may call this Cupcakes 2.0, and cupcakes is most certainly well known.
But it's more infamous than famous.
HOWEVER
It is a vast improvement on your last story. So there's that.
(Honestly, it's pretty fucking hard to end up worse than The Tail (Get It ;P) Of pRince Martin Willis)
WHOOSH!
i.imgur.com/7iudW.jpg
...
...
...
THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?
I'M SERIOUSLY STARTING TO HATE YOU
FUCK