Ch. 23. Who Wants to Meet Who?
That morning, he woke after a terrible dream. A group of older fillies were playing games with him. That is, they were trying to get a reaction by showing things they weren’t supposed to. For him, it was horribly embarrassing. For them, they laughed at him a lot, and made crude jokes about how he was disappointing.
The girls in the wizarding world couldn’t do that. The trousers guys wore hid their reactions to visual stimulation. It was only colts and stallions that had this problem.
That was when he had his brainstorm.
It took a bit of finesse, and liberal use of the wizarding notice-me-not spell to sneak out of the castle and over to the Carousel Boutique without any of the fillies noticing.
After carefully opening the door just enough to slip through, he looked back out through the curtains to see if anypony had noticed the door mysteriously opening and closing by itself.
“Hello, Harry,” Rarity said, almost at his side.
He screamed and jumped, falling to the floor. He hurriedly scrambled to his hooves. He put one hoof on his chest as he tried to get his breathing back under control.
Looking at him quizzically, she said, “I’m sorry to say, Sweetie Belle has already left with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to help a colt get his cutie mark.”
Harry took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Trousers,” he said, nervously, “Shorts.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve noticed that while you design dresses, vests, jackets, and robes for fillies and mares, for colts and stallions you only make collars, vests, jackets, and robes — no trousers or shorts. Why is that? I think having trousers and shorts would be a nice option.”
She stared at him and slowly raised an eyebrow as she thought on what he had said. She nodded slowly. “Yes, my main clientele are mares and filles.”
“Well, maybe you should make a new line for colts and stallions that uses trousers and shorts,” he suggested hopefully. “I know I wouldn’t mind having some.” He glanced out the window nervously. “I know having pockets on trousers is real convenient, not as good as saddlebags, of course, but fine for the small stuff.” He looked at her half-pleadingly, half earnestly. “The Guard can wear trousers for additional protection and carrying more stuff.”
He swallowed. “In fact, I’d like to order several of each for when I come back in the summer.”
Rarity was pacing now. “A new line of clothing for colts and stallions?” she said slowly, nodding her head. “With pockets for when you don’t want to wear saddlebags,” she said a bit more excitedly.
“There’s a whole bunch of different styles in the human world,” he added hopefully. “I’m sure you’d find plenty of inspiration, there.”
It went back and forth for several more minutes.
When he left, Rarity had promised him three sets each of shorts and trousers, after taking his measurements. “Don’t worry dear,” she said, “I’ll compare these with my last measurements and adapt them for what you’ll be when you come back in summer.”
He reapplied the notice-me-not spell so no pony would suspect he had visited the talented unicorn. *
^-_-^
Castor stared, stunned, at Sir Walker. “Two hundred, you say?”
Sir Colin McColl, Director General of Military Intelligence Six, which handled intelligence gathering from outside the United Kingdom’s borders, pursed his lips. “Two hundred and seven. It was a bit of surprise to us, too.”
Walker nodded. “They’ve been popping up at the Ponyville Embassy almost daily for the last two months.” He sighed and shook his head wryly. “Whatever method Debby and Abby used to contact their sisters certainly worked.” He paused. “It’s interesting to note that the only ones who showed up were their sisters. No brothers.”
Castor sighed. “It was a bit distressing to learn that they had so few male changelings in the hive. Abby was not hopeful that Chrysalis had missed gathering any of the surviving males.”
After a moment, Castor ventured, “Are we sure that they’re all from the same hive? Debby did mention that there was more than one.”
“Yes,” Patrick said. “We had Debby and Abby, independently, verify the identity of each one. There were no queens or proto-queens trying to sneak through. They are all average workers. No drones, though.” He sighed. “The oath wouldn’t have let them lie to us . . . I hope.”
“And we have quite a selection, too,” put in Sir Colin. “They range from almost every job skill you could imagine. Creche nurses for the nymphs, farmers for their normal food, tunnel borers, tunnel repairers, ventilation experts, soldiers, infiltrators, the whole gamut of their society.”
Patrick shook his head. “The infiltrators, the ones that actually went into pony society to gather emotional food, made up about a third of their workforce. Unfortunately, they were on the front lines and most perished.”
“We didn’t get a handful of special agents as we had thought, but an actual small village, with a smattering of those with the skills we were expecting,” concluded Colin.
“On the other hand,” Patrick said, “Debby is an infiltrator. She told us that we could easily train as many of the workers as we wanted for whatever activity we desired. So far, it appears that she is correct. Unlike bees and ants, while the changelings do specialize in certain jobs, they are not physically locked into such jobs.” He shook his head.
“Unfortunately, it appears the average changeling is not all that bright. However, with a sufficient number in any one location, it seems that what one knows, they all know. It’s simply a matter of physically training them how to use what they know.”
“Also,” Colin said after a moment of silence, “What we consider a decent amount of training in espionage, they consider piss-poor performance. Passing information between agents is as simple as being in the same building, for them. They seem to have an instinctive ability to mimic their targets — and I don’t mean just physical appearance. They must be using some sort of innate magic to gain the skills they need for a successful impersonation. It seems to be nearly instantaneous.” He sighed and shook his head. “In one of the trials we did, Debby was able to replace a woman and fool her husband for an entire weekend.” He looked at Castor intently. “She had only spent ten minutes with the woman.
“She didn’t gain any direct knowledge or memories, however, she just knew how to act to allay any suspicions.”
“I think, all things considered,” Patrick said, “that you can tell Princess Twilight that we are well pleased with what we have gained with the changelings.
“With a minimum of thirty wedding every day in London, and an average of over a hundred and fifteen, we’ll have no problem with keeping them well-supplied in their needed food source without causing any problems with our citizens, or our superiors.
“That collection activity is where we will put the less skilled and older ones to work.”
“Even if we only manage to use the talents of twenty or thirty for intelligence gathering, it is well worth what we’ll get in return to maintain the entire population of changelings,” Colin added. “Although it will probably take a year for us to train the first ones in what we need. Their ‘hive-mind’ as they call it, will considerably shorten the time to train the remainder.”
“The consensus is,” Patrick said, “that this is a satisfactory solution for the United Kingdom. You may inform the Princesses that we will happily give sanctuary to any other changelings that they might acquire, as long as they will take an oath not to betray us.”
^-~-^
There was one surprising bit of information on the day before they were to head back to catch the Hogwarts Express. In the morning, after breakfast, his mum told him that he shouldn’t panic if he came across a changeling on the other side of the portal.
The muggle government had made a deal with the changelings and the Princesses. The changelings were emigrating to the United Kingdom as official citizens. They were giving magical promises as they did so to obey the laws and not harm humans unless in self-defence or in the defence of someone else who was being unjustly attacked.
It was, she happily proclaimed, a win-win-win situation for all three parties. Equestria was safer, the changelings were safer and not in danger of starvation, and the United Kingdom gained some extremely loyal, and useful, spies.
The result of that deal was that should he meet a changeling, he was not to react in any way. The changeling might be on a mission from the muggle government and for him to loudly announce that it was a changeling might jeopardize its mission. Maybe even its life — and possibly his own and anypony with him.
In other words, play it cool.
On the other hoof, they knew that a changeling had already gone through the portal. If there was any indication of hostility from the changeling that seemed out of character for the situation, he was to flee and immediately seek assistance.
She didn’t think he would meet a changeling, though, because he and the other Hogwarts students would not be venturing into the muggle world. She just thought he needed to know because he was familiar with the muggle world and might, in the future, need to go there for one reason or another.
^-_-^
Harry only had thought it couldn’t get worse. He was wrong.
Sirius pulled him aside after dinner that night and told him that they needed to talk about something very important.
Ensconced in Harry’s bedroom, door closed, Sirius began to take various items out of his saddlebags, including two bottles of Firewhiskey. Harry almost crawled under his bed when Sirius told him that, “It’s time for me to give you the benefit of my extensive and valuable experience in dating, snogging, and shagging.”
Sirius managed to get hold of a hoof and pulled him back out.
Then Sirius sat on him after he tried to escape to the closet.
It was nowhere as clinical and detailed on the physical end of things as Blueblood’s lecture. Black concentrated more on how to seduce a girl and leave her with a good impression, both mentally and physically. What tactics to avoid and what would work. Charts were used, with many warnings on the pitfalls of dating. One such piece of advice — or warning, Harry was unsure — was, “Going up to a girl and asking, ‘Wanna shag?’ will get you slapped nine times out of ten. But the tenth time,” he said smiling broadly, “oh, is that worth the pain of the other nine.”
Then he had frowned. “But becoming known as that kind of horn-dog is the sort of reputation you don’t want to have.”
His most valuable piece of information was, “Never ask a girl for a date with a yes or no answer, always give her a graceful way out. So, no ‘Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?’ Instead, it should be, ‘If you haven’t made other plans, would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade?’” He had paused. “That way, if she’s not interested, she can decline by saying she had already made plans and avoid making a scene. If she is interested, and she already has made plans for that day, she can counter offer with another day, or say, ‘Maybe next time.’” He had paused again. “Plus, that takes the sting out of rejection . . . she’s not saying ‘No’ to you, but saying your timing is off!”
Then he shrugged. “Unless she hates you. Then you’re likely to get a ‘No, you gutless toe-rag! Now get out of my sight!’ like you mother used to tell your father, James. Then she’d chase him out of the room with a dozen or two hexes.” He had shaken his head sadly. “That boy had a will of steel — or a head as thick as a rock — he never let the rejections faze him.”
He looked back up with a wide grin. “I, on the other hand, never had the problem. Rejections, I mean.”
He looked sternly at Harry. “I never asked Lily for a date, or tried to snog her.” He sighed. “She’d’ve hexed me to the moon. And then James would have done me to Mars.”
There were also two more spells he had to master, with many warnings on the consequences of failing to use them properly.
The only true benefit to the night, from Harry’s naïve point-of-view, was that Sirius managed to get them both legless. So much so that much of what was said later that night he never remembered — thankfully. He did discover that Firewhiskey was quite tasty after a couple of glasses, in contrast to his first glass with Blueblood the other day.
Harry’s mum was not pleased when the two came down the next morning for breakfast with massive hangovers. The herd wasn’t too pleased, either. For some reason they insisted on talking too loudly.
On the other hoof, his head hurt so much he spent most of his time in misery. With his eyes closed, so he wasn’t constantly staring at the fillies’ flanks and blushing madly. His mum refused to give him a headache potion, unfortunately. “This way you won’t forget the lesson! Getting drunk, especially with Firewhiskey, is not for colts!” she had concluded icily.
He sadly agreed with her.
^-~-^
The new school year was off to a good start, Harry thought, almost as soon as they passed through the Portal — the fillies were wearing clothes! Plus, his eyes weren’t anywhere near the same level as their tails and flanks! If he wanted to stare at their butts — which he didn’t, right? Right? — he had to look down. If he looked straight ahead, he saw the backs of their necks. He no longer blushed every time he happened to catch a glimpse of one of the fillies.
Although, he did notice that Hermione’s robe had a nice sway to it — when she was far enough ahead with her parents for him to see her entirely.
Unfortunately, as his headache slowly wore off, his “lesson” with Sirius had his eyes drifting to other parts of their anatomy.
In the next few days, he found that he tended to drop his gaze a bit lower than the fillies’ chins when he was talking with them. Something about the way their robes bulged out slightly just drew his eyes. Except Ginny, her robes in front were rather . . . flat.
He knew from their experiences with the various castle slides, and when she hugged him, that she wasn’t . . . flat. She just didn’t seem to be as buxom when wearing school robes.
The robes did an awful good job of hiding what was underneath them. It was both a relief and a disappointment.
Not that that mattered, really, breasts were pretty much a non-issue in Equestria — unless a foal was feeding. Which was usually ignored by the stallions as nothing important.
However, for some reason, Hermione tended to be blush when he noticed himself staring at her like that, and Ginny got mad that he wasn’t doing the same to her. The other fillies really never noticed. Or if they did, it didn’t bother them nearly as much as it did the other two.
Plus, he caught himself staring at other fillies in Hogwarts whose superstructure — Sirius’ word — was rather impressive. None of his fillies were pleased with that new interest of his.
Especially when they saw him staring at Luna.
Myrtle kept looking over their way during meal times and snickering.
Fillies . . . were weird.
^-~-^
Now that the new term had started, she would be merely one in the crowd. With her siblings providing secondary coverage, she should be able to see if he was sneaking out at night. His daytime activities were curtailed by classes, unless he cut them. Something his friends would notice and remark on.
She would keep a careful eye on the three until she had evidence that didn’t depend on her ling ability to discern a target’s feelings.
Speaking of which, the returning ponies were a mixed lot of depressed at leaving their families and overjoyed at learning more magic. Harry Potter-Sparkle’s herd, especially, had apparently had an interesting time over the previous two weeks. They were a positive roil of emotions, mostly delicious ones. The main feeling from the boy himself was of embarrassment, and a bit of suppressed lust, which periodically spiked, and then was followed by a wave of guilt.
From what she remembered of her training, now over two years old and with no hive memory to back it up, only her own limited one, that meant a colt, or filly, going through the very first stages of puberty. It was just as confusing a set of emotions between ponies as her instructors had told her.
Rather typical, then.
They were realizing for the first time that the opposite sex, the same sex, or both, were actually attractive in a certain way that they had never noticed before. The physical responses they now experienced as a result of that realization, was more than a little disconcerting to the uninitiated. Not to mention embarrassing to both parties when the physical reaction became a little too apparent. Fortunately, the heavy robes they wore now that it was winter tended to hide such things.
The lings’ mind-link bypassed that stage rather well, she was happy to realize. There was none of the fumbling that plagued the non-lings so badly. With the hive-mind, all the physical knowledge was there for perusal at any time, with none of the embarrassment. The physical reactions, rare though they were, were no more surprising than walking, flying, or casting magic to the lings.
It was merely finding out what worked best for a specific ling. Not that that happened often. Only the infiltrators, harvesters, and scouts really had exposure to such activities on a regular basis — and those were only when they were in disguise as ponies.
The Potter-Sparkle herd was happier now that the boy/colt was finally beginning to notice them in that way instead of just as friends. It was, Elly thought, an interesting dynamic. The boy was older than the fillies by two years, on average, yet he was only now coming into the realization that there was more to his pony friends than sharing interests and having foal-like fun.
She was quite pleased at the increased “love” that now surrounded the herd, especially because the last few weeks had been a bit lean. The sour Slytherins in an almost empty castle hadn’t exactly thrown around much love.
Next time, she decided, they would go “home” and work in her restaurant as adults to help maintain their reserves. Plus, there would be the bonus of the students meeting and leaving their parents at the train station in London at the beginning and end of each holiday to look forward to. They had missed out on that this time.
^·_·^
Harry wasn’t sure when he first noticed it, but the twins were conspiring with the fillies, mostly Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom. When he asked about it, they said they were just asking for help with spells.
No. There wasn’t a single thing suspicious about that, now was there?
He started casting detection spells on his clothes, books, desk, and bed. And under the bed, just to be sure. His paranoia infected the rest of the school, too, as he saw more and more students checking their food at mealtimes.
^·_·^
Castor had been amazed, last year, at the way the Equestrians had vacuumed up British culture. They had visited dozens of new and used bookstores, video, thrift, second-hand, and pawnbroker stores in London and other cities, and pillaged the fiction sections mercilessly. Duplication of purchases had not been an issue. Apparently the first of each purchase went to the Canterlot archives, the rest went to libraries all over Equestria for general distribution.
Publishers had received orders for thousands of current books for redistribution to bookstores all over Equestria.
It seemed the Equestrians were fascinated with English history, romance, and adventure. The Princesses had commissioned rotating groups of theatre troupes to put on plays for them to record, recruiting some of the most famous names in the English-speaking world. The actors and actresses were more than happy to perform a different play every two weeks. Especially at the pay rates offered! Using two theatres allowed a new play every week. All performances were filmed in front of British audiences, and the best of the six days was kept for distribution in Equestria.
It was an unparalleled experience for theatre aficionados. The plays were always sold out, especially the plays that hadn’t been performed for decades. Tickets disappeared almost the hour they went on sale, and prices climbed to ridiculous levels. The Princesses were turning a handsome profit, even after purchasing the theatres.
Just to be fair, the Princesses had built a third theatre — a theatre where on-stage flight was common and multiple stage levels were required! — just to put on famous pony plays. Those had become startlingly popular, and there was a surprising amount of competition for the always-sold-out performances. Especially the pegasi performances where the stage was wrapped in real clouds!
They, too, were being recorded for distribution, but this time on this side of the portal.
The Princesses were considering building another two theatres.
Meanwhile, there were two new bookstores dealing exclusively in Equestrian literature. Books disappeared from the shelves almost as fast as they could be stocked. Many of the customers appeared to be from places other than England.
Someone had penned a comedy of errors that included both humans and Equestrians. It was a cross between The Importance of Being Ernest and a Gilbert and Sullivan play. It was doing surprising well in front of audiences on both sides of the portal.
A team of two dozen ponies had descended on the British Library last Spring and begun combing through their archives of fiction and science with a fine-toothed comb. Their obvious delight and joy at finding hundreds of years of plays and books had been gratifying to see. You would almost think they had little culture of their own.
They did it with production line efficiency. They used a “duplication technology” box on a wheeled cart that barely fit in the aisles. One person brought books to the duplication box, a second opened it, put a book inside, closed it, pushed a button, then removed the original and gave it to a third to return to the shelf once they had an armload. A fourth person took the duplicate and put it in a box. A fifth took the box to their lorry when it was full. A sixth made sure the cart was loaded with the raw paper and bindings as source materials.
They were clearly happy at what they were doing. Every once in a while, they would break into a heartsong, to the astonished bemusement of the library staff and visitors.
When no one was watching, they used magic to zip the books around and quadrupled their throughput.
The library staff occasionally came across Princess Twilight surrounded by a mound of books. Or watched, astounded, as teams of unicorns dragged the unwilling alicorn out of the stacks, sometimes literally, because she had neglected her official duties — again.
Nerds and swots came in all shapes, sizes, and creatures, apparently, the humans concluded.
One researcher had explained that British fiction, both written and recorded, was riveting in how much passion was revealed. Plus, it gave them clear explanations for the many cultural references in British English that puzzled them when talking with anyone from the United Kingdom — things like brolly, chuffed, feed-bag, and tickety-boo. Not to mention the ready adoption of violence in the pursuit of a solution — which was like watching a slow-motion train wreck. They just couldn’t not watch or read it.
Many of the works that were considered comedy, action, or adventure by the humans were all variations of horror to the ponies. The campy Hammer horror films had them hiding under chairs and clinging to the ceilings — if they were brave enough to stay in the room. The less said about the Alien movies, the better.
Yet the Equestrian audiences always came back for more.
It was all soo . . . different . . . soo . . . exciting!
Plus, there was the way the human technology had exploded over the last three hundred years. They could actually graph how technology had developed over the last four hundred years, and was growing at an ever-increasing rate, a curve that was shooting up almost vertically at the moment.
While Equestria had had steam locomotives longer than the U.K., they had not advanced nearly as fast. Nor had their technology been as pervasively adopted. The Equestrian graph of technology was a gradual slope upwards.
Being able to do magic, and fly with ease, had apparently retarded their technological development in many areas. For example, being able to fly had completely short-circuited any attempts at making gliders or powered flight.
Dirigibles had been invented, because even the pegasi could appreciate moving huge amounts of material all at once.
But now they were catching up, fast.
Humans were just so . . . inventive . . . to the Equestrians.
And now he and Ambassador Blueblood were in the office of Laxmi Mall Singhvi, High Commissioner of India to the United Kingdom.
“Your culture sounds fascinating to us,” Blueblood started after the regular diplomatic pleasantries, and as soon as they sat. “While Princess Celestia has ruled our people for a thousand years, only recently have Princesses Cadance, Luna, and Twilight taken their places beside her. Our scholars believe that examining your pantheon of gods and goddesses will help us navigate our near future. Especially as Princesses Celestia and Luna did come into conflict a thousand years ago, with great loses of life on both sides.” He shook his head sadly. “While we don’t anticipate any problems, it never hurts to be prepared — perhaps, even, head off the problems before they surface.”
The Indian leaned back in his chair and steepled his hands, thinking. “I assume you have read a bit about Hinduism? You realize that while there are many gods in India, those most popularly worshiped by Hindus are principally devoted to the god Vishnu, the god Shiva, or the Goddess?
“However, I have to say, according to some interpretations, all divinities are in fact a manifestation of a single godhead, a universal divine force.” He paused for their reactions. “Whereas, from what I have been able to gather about your Princesses, they are long-lived, but do not consider themselves to be gods? But Princess Celestia can move the Sun, and Princess Luna can move the Moon?”
Blueblood evenly nodded. “Yes, that is true. All four Princesses eschew being called goddesses. They say that they are merely extremely powerful individuals.” He smiled. “That’s a bit of an understatement. Princess Celestia could glass the planet — or just a city — if she wished.” He shifted slightly. “Not that she ever would do that. As our God of Chaos has said, ‘It would make things, oh, so boring to do that. No fun at all.’” He smiled at the other diplomat.
“The Princesses regard worship to be annoying in the extreme. Not only do the worshippers tend to get into arguments over silly, inconsequential things — she likes to cite the Great Toothpaste War — but they are distracting. Much the same way a swarm of flies buzzing around your head is annoying. Princess Celestia says that the Royal Court is annoying enough without being bothered while she’s in her bath, relaxing.”
Laxmi raised an eyebrow. “The Great Toothpaste War?”
Blueblood made a wry expression. “Yes. It was fairly early in her reign. She was trying to improve dental hygiene by promoting toothbrushing. Several ponies got into an argument over whether it was best to use mint-flavoured toothpaste or plain. Before she knew it, they had divided the kingdom into two camps and were preparing to go to battle over which flavour toothpaste best reflected the tastes of our Princess.” He shook his head ruefully. “She stopped it before things fell into violence, fortunately. She exiled the leaders of both groups to live in the same small town for ten years. Then she explained that she actually preferred cinnamon-flavour because of her affinity with the sun.” He sighed. “There are now over a thousand different variations of cinnamon toothpaste, no two exactly alike in texture or flavour.
“Ponies still use her name as if she were a god.” He glanced over at Castor. “Things like, ‘oh, for Celestia’s sake!’ and exclaiming her name when surprised. But nothing serious such as praying to her for guidance or favours as the religions here seem to do to their gods.” He smiled at the High Commissioner. “Our scholars believe there is much we can learn from your polytheistic culture.”
He glanced over at Castor again, and nodded slightly.
“To that end, I have prepared a list of the scholars, and their backgrounds, who would like to visit your homeland.”
Castor pulled out a folder from his briefcase and placed it on the side of the Indian’s desk.
“They have spent the last six months studying Hindi and Bengali, both spoken and written forms,” the Equestrian continued. “I would like you to arrange for another month of study in India with experts in both English and those languages to help them refine their understanding, if you don’t mind. After that, perhaps your government would be kind enough to provide them with escorts to the religious experts, libraries, and temples?
“Naturally,” he explained, “Each scholar will be escorted by one of our E.U.P. Guard squads.” He gave a wry smile to Laxmi. “Scholars are notorious for poking their noses into areas they shouldn’t because they’re too distracted by what they are researching to pay attention to their surroundings. They also tend to have no tact whatsoever. The Guards will keep them from being too obnoxious, and to at least behave with a mediocrum of politeness.”
Laxmi returned his smile. “Quite,” he said, taking the folder and glancing through the papers in it. He looked back up. “It appears you have included everything we need for visas. Allow me to contact my government.”
Blueblood nodded amiably. “Naturally. My contact information is on the inside-front of the folder. Let me know when the arrangements have been made. They’ll take a chartered flight as soon as you give us permission and provide the paperwork.”
He stood, followed a moment later by Castor.
“Thank you for your assistance in this matter. If you have no further questions at the moment, we will leave you to it.” He nodded his head at the other. They had almost reached the door when he stopped.
“Oh, by the way,” the Ambassador said as he turned around to face the High Commissioner, “Princess Cadance has heard that you have a . . . goddess . . . of Love. Rati, I believe. She would be interested in visiting India to meet with her and get her advice on dealing with her followers. The Princess is also quite intrigued at the thought of meeting another with the same abilities and comparing them. Would you ask your government if they could arrange that?”
^·_·^
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I love over all progression of the story as fun shenanigans of various scales. However, I am still hoping for some major antagonism arising that would require a struggle on the part protagonists, something that good guys can't resolve during the lunch break. There are many lead ups for those and I am hoping they will pay off, but for now, all potential antagonists are not that threatening.
Oooooooooooooh
I was wondering when the ponies would learn human gods don't speak with their worshipers, and in fact, there is no proof they exist.
I mean, have my own religious beliefs, but I acknowledge we don't really know either way... I more find it comforting to think we are watched over by merciful deities and their Celestials / angels...
But still the ponies might react badly when they learn this particular trait in humans...
It be super cool, if you started introducing gods from ALL regions, and have them not like that other deities are poaching on their world, and disregarding some kind of "non interference" treaty they have.
10767291
While that is true,
And I even agree to a certain extent,
It is nice just to read a simple slice of life Xover
Poor Cadance she is about to get a very big surprise. I hope that as the rest of the year progresses we see how they will loose the Defense of the Dark Arts teacher.
I'm sorry, but can you either add a sex tag or just cut the whole horny colts subplots already please? This is supposed to be book two, they're kids for christ's sake! Just feels real icky, I didn't come here for this, and I dread to think anyone else might've. This line was already crossed back in chapter 16 (10692454 10692520), if you're not going to stop it should at the very least be signposted. I'm sorry if this comes off as aggressive but it feels like the issue should be fairly obvious.
10767305
The problem that I have is not the lack of conflicts on its own, but rather the fact that story constantly teases conflicts building up, but they either dealt with exceptional ease and no loses, or progress on the background very, very slowly. At this point, Equestria in this timeline became so overtly confident and competent, that no original series antagonist from neither MLP nor HP sides of crossover can as much as spoil the mood for good guys.
So was the Sunset Harry Potter movie thing from last chapter just an April fools thing or will that be coming up in the future?
There was a famous prank pulled in the Victorian period, where a prankster used the language of the moralists to propose
a, Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, whose goal was to put pants on animals.
'had only'
'tell James' or 'tell your father'
'when she noticed him...'
And bang, both humans suddenly realize that the ponies haven't quite gotten over thinking that the deities of earth were real beings.
10767340
I don't really like the sex stuff, but the writer has been making jokes like that since the beginning.
And the kids, might be kids, but they have entered puberty.
I think it's just poking fun at what an awkward time that is.
10767372
Thanks for the corrections, but I only changed one the other two are the way I meant.
Yes, the ponies are still unclear on the concept of religions being based on invisible, imaginary beings.
10767340
So something like "god help me someone is doing something that I don't like"
Seriously it's just sex inuendo😑
Nothing to see here snowflake
Also
"You crossed the line" what line the line that a few fanatics drew to keep themselves obedient and miserables
Rati is a hindu goddess, the goddess of lust, while Kama is the God of Love, and they don't exist, so I doubt Cadance will meet either XD.
10767511
Well... Magic doesn't exist too but this book would be really boring right?
That's an oof from me, dawg. They're going to be so disappointed.
So did discord change harry, or not? If so, when?
10767514
Create a pantheon o several inside the story, will make things more complicated, I don't think the story will have them.
10767502
Jeez, stop with this nonsense. Person complained about overuse of innuendo jokes in discussion of minors. Which is understandable, considering what route "Magical School Days" took with the same topic. You, on the other hand, somehow turned it into ideological rant.
10767525
well that depends are they really gods or just really powerful wizards that fell on the public eyes
I mean, they're twelve. Sex and puberty is very much a thing right now and I love that the author isn't pretending otherwise. Harry and the girls are growing up. I mean, I think most of us can say we were taking an interest in girls, guys, or both around this time. It's not unusual or a problem.
Plus, it's still being handled with more maturity on all sides than many other books. And OF COURSE we have perverse and cringe humor here. Puberty itself is one big conga line of perverse and cringe comedy. I think it's perfect as it is and the author is doing a great job!
Since ponies are being sent to study Indian culture, this might be the perfect opportunity for ponies like Saffron Masala to get in on that to broaden her horizons on Indian cuisine.
Caster should have told them that none of the humans on Earth has met their Gods in their life time.
10767630
in that case, a hindu witch that inherit the name for some reason could exist here, still, it would be adding lore to the story, lore that doens't exist in harry potter officially.
Hmmm I wonder if the mlp g1 cartoon exists in this world. Could you imagine Ajs reaction to g1 applejack? Actually could hasbro create the franchise at all and how would the equestrians feel about it I think given the fact that the equestrians would be very popular I think someone creating a magical pony show would be inevitable not to mention this is what 80’s or 90’s right? So transformers and stuff like that I think the ponies would enjoy hell I think princess luna would become a otaku from watching robotech or a certain anime about a certain moon princess magical girl
I wonder what the scientific method for Equestrians even is. How do you fit the concept of falsifiability into a world that is so dependent on representational reality?
10767775
How long until Moon-Butt is belting Moonlight Densetsu From her balcony?
10767775
10767882
Considering how many intelligent animals there are in Equestria, would many ponies think cartoons are documentaries or fictional stories? Sort of like TV comedies and dramas?
10767882 "WE HATH NEED OF A BLONDE WIG! AND BE THOU OF HASTE, FOR OUR NEED IS URGENT! THERE ARE WRONGS TO RIGHT AND EVIL TO PUNISH IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!"
10768019
Maybe, but the animation may be a tip-off, as well as everyone understanding said animals.
10768120
YES!
They still haven't caught up.
They racked the British Library and don't get that...
Well, practice over theory I guess, right?
I wonder if once learned human cannot contact gods, they would try some kind of magic to link to them... Like, Celestia trying going into Human Aethereal Place (the one where Twilight became an alicorn)
10767340
Dont you know talking about the size of an eleven year old's chest is rated e for everyome?
Or constantly talking about genitalia
Or underage drinking
You'd think Sunset Shimmer would take issue with the tee hee nudity portal, maybe start calling out Discord for being a gigantic pervert
Whatever. I skim most of the hogwarts shit now just cuz I'm not in the mood for how gross and weird this is.
Like i know a lot of harry potter fanfic authours get weird about writing kids in general, it makes liking time loop/peggy sue fics a real fucking minefield, but this really takes the cake
So Sirius gave a long talk on getting a girl to go on a date with you but not such advice as don't look at other girls while dating. I am not surprised he's still single.
I wonder when our little proto queen while realise changelings are being welcomed in England with the ponies knowledge.
10768019
I read a story once where humanity had ended and an alien race found one record of what our culture was like. It was a looney tunes cartoon. They feared to encounter what could destroy such a resiliant species.
10767858
They manage it look at time turner or Twilights efforts to quantify the pinkie sense.
10767372
Hmm i wonder if that's related to the law its illegal for a horse to enter a bar if its not wearing pants.
I wonder what Equestrians make, given all the usual books on violent dragons, about PERN dragons, the science as well as science fiction of Arthur C Clarke, and his proposed communication study into orbital platforms, and Azimovs immense collection of Fiction and Facts books, especially the three laws, when they realise that the stories are about all the ways to break them?
Faulty Towers? The Young Ones? Red Dwarf? Carry On?
Paramount, Shepperton, Elstree, Ardman?
I forgot when the Newton laptop came out, or the Psion Palm Pilot? Newton ran on a couple AA batteries and the Psion tried to understand handwriting? But by 1996, the graphical internet was available. I didnt get on till 97, due to software, connection equipment and costs, but the Met Office, IRC chat, and central software repository were all there. The BBC web site? Google hadnt been formed yet.
Just how big a tree will the Equestrians need to list all the different deities they find mentioned on Earth and link them together?
Poor Harry. At least he now has pockets to play with.
10768409
10768199
We've had centuries of contact with China and Japan, and the average diplomat STILL has trouble understanding their concepts of personal honor and what it requires. Why should Equestria, after barely more than a year's contact, have any real understanding of the human world?
10767775
Oml I love transformers
I've stopped reading your sections of Harry vs. puberty, not only because it's uninteresting and cringey, but it's a PR bomb waiting to happen. Someone that viciously despises bronies could use this fic as an example. Are you okay with that?
I like the concept of two worlds meeting and the gallery of political and xenoanthropological consequences thereof, not to mention the indulgence of our favorite characters being OP. That's what originally drew me into this story. Romance was a nice side. What you're doing now isn't romance, it's just pointless cringe.
nice job
The changelings are horrible actors, any pony will tell you that if they knew the target that the changelings are trying to replace. I'll call out BS on the magic ability to mimic
10771187
And you say this because you know all about them? If they were so easy to detect, then they would have been found within a year of first encountering the ponies. And, in canon, a changeling managed to fool almost everypony who was supposed to be close to her target, including the one who was going to marry her! If that doesn't imply a very high skill at mimicry, then what would?
10771249 Chrysalis got away with it because everypony put her abnormal actions down to pre-wedding nerves, except Shining Armour, who was being mind-zapped, and Twilight Sparkle, who picked up on Chrysalis's bad acting right away. If Twilight had known Changelings were a thing, she might have figured it out then and there.
The only other on-screen examples of Changeling infiltrators in disguise (as opposed to wearing a pony form as a distraction in a fight) is in 'To Where and Back Again' where the Changelings replacing the Mane Six were shoddy at best. Starlight immediately picked up on their shenanigans. While they can fake it for short periods, any extended interaction with someone who knows the original would quickly expose them, unless the one's we see in canon are somehow the worst infiltrators (and considering their high value targets, that doesn't seem likely).
But since you've used your own naming scheme, and this is an AU, you can make your Changelings as competent as you like. No Thorax, Pharanx or Ocellus in this continuity.
10771249
Do you remember how Chrysalis didn't know anything about Princess Cadence when it counted? She screwed up a 'secret hoofshake' with Twilight, she wasn't nice to others. She probably didn't care about collecting Intel to act convincingly. Do you remember how the changelings who replaced Princess Twilight and her friends were complete jerks and didn't care at all about doing their roles correctly in front of Starlight? Even Luna managed to figure out that Celestia had been replaced, but that because she was been overwhelmed by a changeling mob during the telepathic phone call with Starlight.
10771370
10771299
Yep, Chrysalis wasn't worried about keeping her presence secret long term. Neither were the changelings who took over the Mane Six. However, as any soldier will tell you, the way you act when you're all alone in enemy territory with no backup is decidedly different than when you are with your squadron.
Notice that Chryses' big screw-up was with a pony in another town that she didn't expect to interact with very much. A very minor detail. All the big details she apparently got right!
Again, if they were as clumsy and inept as portrayed in the very few scenes we see them, they wuld have been discovered centuries before.
10771381
I completely agree. That's why i'm happy you've made your versions actually competent.
Then he grins and looks at Harry. "Ask me how I know!"
10768404
My guess is the first time Harry spots one in Hogwarts and doesn't do anything
10775433
Especially since most of the pony adventures are so PG compared to modern offerings.
I got to thinking. There is no way Luna's new network is not going to jump at the chance to offer programming centered around a pony theme. They'd want to strike while the iron is hot and everyone is fascinated by the ponies.
The existence of Appaloosa might bring back the TV western.
A reboot of Green Acres, where a human moves to Equestria to become an earth pony and get his hooves dirty growing crops. The Flim Flam brothers would make a great Mr. Hanny.
Providing they could get cooperation you'd have a Sitcom where a pony family moves into a human neighbourhood. Or vice-versa.
Or one where a human only finds out the person they married is a pony after the wedding night. I'd be seeing a Bewitched vibe there, complete with judgemental mother-in-law.
And of course you have your odd-couple police procedural where a hard-bitten human cop finds himself saddled. Pun intended, with a cute and adorable mare partner, who has some really impressive skills set, and an even more impressive set while human.
10776507
So the US military failure to put air-defense protections around the Pentagon and White House to protect against suicide attacks via airplane before 9/11 is a plot hole? (Despite a book being written a decade before about that very possibility.) Or, how the Japanese were able to sneak in and bomb Pearl Harbour because, despite repeated warnings from the American diplomats, the military ignored the warnings, ignored their own radar warnings in the islands, and were caught flat-footed?
Sometimes the most obvious answers escape notice.
10776719
Absolutely -- but I'll let another writer(s) attack those plot lines! Such as Applejack deciding to spend a "Growin' Season" studying American farming techniques, and brings a host of human anthropologists in her wake. Not to mention the Agro-experts wanting to see what she thinks of their methods, and what improvements she might suggest.
Have at it, boys and girls!
10777737
I hope someone takes you up on it.
I can see two ways someone might handle it. One is by doing a show within a show format where they have the actors interacting together as they audition and learn how to work together, while some of it would show a scene as it would appear on TV.
Or they could simply do a straight out storytelling approach where a given show is novelized.
Or maybe a short story contest where several people could do a "Coming next Season to CBS," and then an introduction to the show.
I.E.
He is John Stallion, a hard bitten detective, carrying far too many bite marks from life.
Show John fighting off a gang of thugs with one arm while holding an adorable kid in the other.
She is Trixi Lunamoon, a pretty pony unicorn who has a lot to learn about the mean streets.
Show Trixi vomiting in a trash can outside a door marked Forensics.
Together they are Stallion and Mare, plus one.
Show John, Trixi and the kid posing together for a family snapshot.