Ungrounded

by Lucien Chance

Interlude: Straight to Voicemail

[The Tape Begins]

Hey, it's me, I guess. I don't know if this is the right number or if it's the same wrong one again, but I figured I'd try to leave a real message this time, in case it's the right one. So if this isn't the right number, sorry about bothering you like this. I just really need to get this message where it needs to go.

I... um... haha... It's hard to think of what I need to say now that I'm actually doing this.

I guess I'll start out with the obvious. I'm... sorry.

It's weird to say those words now, after it's been so long, but I— it needed to be said. I'm sorry for the way things went, and I'm sorry that you took what I did so hard.

No! No, no, no, that's not what I mean! Sorry, that makes it out like I'm right in this situation, and I'm not. You were right the whole time. I took what we grew and turned it into something it wasn't. Something it wasn't ever supposed to be.

And what I'm most sorry about, is how much that never really affected me. And how it's taken me this long to realize it.

I betrayed your trust and I betrayed the values of the Company. But I don't regret what I did. I can apologize for how hurt you were in the process by my actions, but I stand by what I did, at least a little.

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get around this feeling... Some sort of nonchalance towards it all. I just... haha. Emotions kind of lose their meaning, after hitting all the highs and lows, I guess. It's not what I want, but I guess I'm stuck with it for a while.

[The Tape Skips]

I... know it's going to be hard for me to say, but I know that all you want is to understand. To understand why I felt like I needed to do those things, and why I needed to leave later. Maybe not why I needed to leave, because I guess that might be obvious after what happened, but actually talking about it now... it makes me feel something.

So—I'll get right to it. After seeing the way people dealt with each other in business, and after growing up around it with my parents my entire childhood, I knew that there was a way I could make it work for me. I was raised to be a businesswoman, and my skills with magic translated easily into that. I... abused the power I had. Those deals—the tricks and scams and lies that I played other companies with, they were just so easy to do. It was wrong, and I felt horrible at first for even considering doing it...

But then it became the only way I'd do business with normal people.

The more I corrupted them and manipulated them—it just became so easy. I distanced myself from the person I had become, and I didn't even notice when my old self faded away entirely. Well, now I'm going to find her, and you probably won't see me... again...

If this really is the wrong number, then I probably have a lot of explaining to do, hahaha. I can't believe that I'm—no, never mind. I'll just finish what I have to say, and say it to something, even if it's not who I want it to be.

I'll just... take a deep breath. Ahh. Alright.

After what happened in Denver... Oh god I'm still not ready to talk about this. Maybe my feelings are coming back already, if I'm still broken up about what happened. I just...

I know how hard you took it. How much you blamed yourself, how much you blamed me, how much you blamed everyone. The responsibility fell on all our shoulders—the first operators in the Company to die in the field. It was a blow to us all, but you most of all. I know how much younger those kids were than you.

I just wanted you to know that when I heard the reports... that was the first time I felt something... for what might've been a very long time. I wanted to let you know that... you're not the only one that carries that burden. And you will never be the only one that carries that burden.

[The Tape Goes Quiet]

I don't know why I decided to call now. You've been gone for so long, and I don't even know if you're... if you're still alive. Oh, heh, who am I kidding? I've never met anyone so stubbornly dedicated to living than you. I know that I wasn't the only one that went off the radar a few years ago. I still have some ways to keep up on the events of the world.

Four years ago, you disappeared off the streets of New York, and not a single word since. So I really have no idea if this message will ever get to you, but I feel like I'm running out of time, so I'll get to the point of why I'm calling now.

I felt... something. Not long ago. An absence. You can say what you want about how we left off, but we will always have this connection that won't break, despite the things we said to each other when we last met. I felt an absence, and I thought you were gone. Magic is a strange thing.

But a few hours ago, and that's about how long it took me to gather the strength to call you, I felt something again.

I felt you, Lucien.

[The Tape Ends]