Ungrounded

by Lucien Chance

Short: "Too Nice"

The following chapter you are about to read is NON-CANON and should be treated as such. Enjoy.

---

Lucien was walking through the streets of a crowded Canterlot. His previous misadventures following his time spent in a market stall had led him to wandering around the bustling city. Strangely, not a single pony had so much raised an eyebrow at his rather tall stature and odd appearance. He was easily able to peer over the heads of the ponies. He must have gotten in the rush-hour to get to work.

He bumped into a pony walking by. The pony apologized and the two kept on their separate paths. Lucien stepped out of the crowd and under the awning of a storefront. He looked around and up at the surrounding buildings. "This place isn't too different from New York. The only differences are that it smells nicer here and the ponies are way more friendly."

He raised a chin to his face in thought. "I wonder what it would take to piss off a pony here." An evil grin slowly spread across his face, and he nailed a low chuckle, just like a true villain. Because nothing is more maniacal than pissing off people for no reason whatsoever.

He took another gander at his surroundings, this time with different eyes. The first time was a simple comparison to his world, but now, he saw opportunities everywhere he looked. "Well, this is a good a place to start as any."

Lucien quickly jogged forward until he found an alleyway. There he ducked behind a few pony-sized trashcans, which barely covered him up, and began to cast a spell.

When Lucien walked out of that alleyway, he was wearing a cheap-looking suit and striped necktie, had light scruff on his face, was wearing square-ish glasses, and was carrying a clipboard. In short, the perfect disguise for a petitioner.

He dipped into the crowd and tapped on the shoulder of the first pony he saw, a red pegasus stallion. The pony looked over quickly, and Lucien began his speech. "Excuse me, can I have a moment of your time please?"

The pony jumped out of the crowd and sat down in front of Lucien. "Sure, what do you need?"

"Oh shit. He didn't brush past me."

"Oh, um, I was hoping you could sign this . . .?" Lucien held out his clipboard and pen.

"Alight." The pony took the pen in his mouth and signed his name, then gave it back to Lucien. "Anything else?"

"Uh, no, thank you for your time." Lucien replied, stunned that the pony actually stepped out of line like that.

"Cool. Bye then." The pegasus performed a short wave and jumped back with the crowd.

Lucien flipped the clipboard around and took a look at the name signed, while mumbling to himself, "I can't believe . . ."

Then he saw the name signed with a flourish.

Petition:

Red Sox

"Bullshit."

---

Lucien stripped himself of his disguise soon after the petition failed. Now, he was somewhere in what seemed to be downtown Canterlot. The streets had become slightly less crowded but they were narrower. Carriages whizzed by every once in a while on his right. "Wait. Carriages."

He looked around quickly, and spotted a pony trying to hail a carriage a ways down the street from him. The mare looked agitated, like she was late for something. "Another perfect opportunity," he thought, rubbing his hands together evilly.

He ran right in front of the mare and waved down a cab-- carriage. The vehicle stopped right in front of him and Lucien opened the door. He jumped in and turned to close the door, but it was already being closed. By the mare that he had stolen the ride from. The carriage started to move, and Lucien pressed right up against the door to catch a glimpse of the mare.

There she was. Waving to him. "What the hell."

Lucien was broken out of his stupor when he heard the voice of the driver call to him, "Where ya headed, buddy?"

"Maybe this attempt could still be salvaged."

"Uh, Canterlot Castle?" Lucien called back.

"Sure thing!" the pony said, then turned around and said to the stallions pulling the carriage, "Canterlot Castle you guys! Let's roll!"

The trip was about ten minutes long, and it gave Lucien just enough time to put his plan into concrete. The carriage rolled to a stop just before the gates of Canterlot Castle.

"Here we are, friend! And in ten minutes, no less!" the cab-- carriage driver called to Lucien.

Lucien got out, and walked to the driver's seat. "Okay, how much do I owe you?" he asked.

The pony smiled and said, "That'll be five bits."

Lucien made a show of checking all his pockets slowly, and he watched the driver's smile slowly fall. Lucien was in the process of checking his shoes for his nonexistent money when the pony held out a gray hoof. "Don't worry about the money, friend. It was a short trip anyway." He picked up the reins and drove away, almost running over Lucien's jaw, which was currently on the floor.

"He didn't charge me. What."

---

"Okay, this next one has to work. It has never failed me in the past, and it won't fail me now."

Lucien was standing in the middle of a park. One that looked suspiciously like Central Park in New York. He chalked that one up to another strange coincidence.

Somewhere along his way there he had conjured a paper bag filled with bread. Bread that was now torn up into crumbs.

He was looking down a pathway that seemed to cut through the whole park. Trees lined the sides of the walkway, providing shade for benches beneath their leafy canopies. Numerous couples cooed at each other while they stretched out on the wooden benches.

But it was the other form of cooing that Lucien was paying attention to. More specifically, the cooing of hundreds, if not thousands, of winged rats-- pigeons.

They flanked the area, shitting all over the ground, trees, ponies, and various statues. Tons of them were camped out on the grass, while even more were perched up in the trees. "If there's one similarity between our two worlds that I can count on, it's the hatred of pigeons."

Lucien took his bag in one hand and began to wander down the walkway. He reached a hand inside its papery exterior and grasped at its breaded interior. A good sized fistful of the wheat-laden substance was grabbed, and he withdrew his hand. He looked down at it, prepared to make a tactical throw.

Instead, he casually flung it to the side, right at a couple sitting on a bench. The crumbs bounced all around them, then settled a minute afterward.

Every avian head in the park suddenly turned to look at the freshly spilled mixture of flour and water. Silence was the only thing heard from the trees. Lucien grinned evilly, holding his pose of throwing the crumbs. The couple had yet to notice anything other than each others' face.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Lucien dropped his arms, and the grin leapt off his face to make room for one of exasperation. He looked up at the trees and flung up his arms in an insulting manner.

The bag hit the ground and he walked away.

---

Lucien found himself walking through a residential area of Canterlot. The buildings stretched upward instead of outward, and he knew that they were homes. But to him, they were just more opportunities.

He walked forward in angry strides, bothered by the fact that the ponies weren't being bothered by his actions. But this next one had to work. There was no way it couldn't.

He saw a burly earth pony stallion sitting on his front porch, occasionally taking a sip from a drink he held in his hoof.

Lucien walked up, then slowed down when he reached the steps of the house. He leaned down and picked up the newspaper sitting there. He looked up at the pony to see his reaction.

He was smiling at him.

Lucien unrolled the paper and began to read. Then he started to walk away. The stallion said nothing.

Lucien turned to look back before rounding a corner, and was rewarded with a friendly wave from the pony he had just stolen a newspaper from.

He violently threw the paper into a trash can and kept walking.

---

Alright, this was his last attempt. His end-all. His trump card. Nothing could piss off a pony more than insulting the city that they reside in.

Lucien sat down outside a coffee place by the public library, which just happened to have two stone manticores guarding the entrance, much like two lions would a different library.

A teal mare took a seat at a table in front of him. "Okay, this is it. Last chance," Lucien fumed.

He walked over and pulled up a chair. "Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"Nice weather we're having, huh?"

The mare looked up at the sky. "Sure are."

"You know where the weather's nicer?"

"Where?"

"Ponyville."

The mare grinned. "Ponyville? That charming little town outside of Canterlot? I simply adore that place!"

"I also think their community is better too. Less crowded, less . . ." he turned up his nose, "Stinky."

The mare smiled sympathetically. "I know darling, this old city could use a bit of a clean up."

Everything broke inside of Lucien. He teleported away quickly, in a brief flash of green light. He didn't even care where he ended up, he just needed to get away.

His rage could be heard from miles around.

Author's Note:

Hehheueheeuuehheueeuhe.

And I'm only writing this because I finished the first chapter of my other new story, Revolution

Comments

[Lucien Chance]

And as to my neglect of my statement of "I will be taking a break from this," I say:
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[Vic Viper]

2564979 kinda figured you were taking a break allready but i digress :)

[Lucien Chance]

2656027
:) Thanks.
Too cool for dem pony emotes.

[Nealj7772]

dat sniper

[Luna is back]

Everything broke inside of Lucien. He teleported away quickly, in a brief flash of green light. He didn't even care where he ended up, he just needed to get away.

I feel bad for Discord now.