• Member Since 6th Mar, 2014
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Heavyhauler75622


Trying to get these wonderful ideas out of my head and down for everyone to read...

T

S9, Ep1. "The Beginning of the End" Part 1...
Except...it wasn't...
What if it happened differently?
What if a certain purple Alicorn had a plan?
What if she put that plan in motion?

This...is that story...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Welcome back! :pinkiehappy:

Excellent story! Especially loved how everyone just went like, "Oh Crap." when Twily said:

“There’s just one tiny thing. I thought that this would happen… and I made a plan ,” she said, very seriously.

10568965
I wanted to give some space before the reveal where nopony knew quite where the blade would fall...

Then slap 'em in the head with, "Really? TWILIGHT?? The mare barely even understands 'dictator', outside of a definition!!"

Thanks for your time!

Crystalheart

A marvelous case of "Just as planned"

10569561

We have had example after example of our little Twily almost hyperventilating herself to the verge of passing out when she hasn't a plan.

One, in fact, in "Beginning of the End 1", where she speculates on training for the position.

Just one, little, push from the blue one in a dream...:pinkiehappy:

Crystalheart

I'm sorry, but something about this story reads the wrong way. I was reading it as Twilight, but not with her voice. She just spoke 'wrong' to me, like it was someone else doing the talking. Twilight, alas, even with all of her character development could never tell Celestia she was wrong to her face, certainly not in this way. Recall that she was paranoid about telling Celestia she couldn't act, this is a fair bit bigger than that. If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a changeling who'd been given some script, possibly by Luna.

Also, I'm pretty sure there are risks about looking ahead in time, good intentions or no and if I've learned anything from watching television, it's you don't screw with time. It will come back to bite you. Tirek and co may have been stopped, but chances are time will fix itself somehow. Probably send the real Grogar or something, I dunno.

I'm sorry, but I can't enjoy this story. Probably won't be changing anyone's minds about this story, but I had to share my thoughts.

10570487

That's okay...lots of people don't get things...

Like how Celestia the Beneficent used her School of Magic to winnow out particular students that could be manipulated into taking over the ruling of Equestria and free her from the Throne...

That's one way to interpret this show...

Crystalheart

I'm honestly with 10570487 on this one. This...doesn't really sound like Twilight. She's too flippant and snarky. This bit in particular stuck out to me:

Twilight almost snorted in derision. Yeah…raise a Sun or Moon, lower it later. I get it; that is pretty awesome, but, like, what else? Shorting tickets to the Gala? Parasprites? Not kicking Queen Chrysalis’ malnourished, emaciated, and skinny rump right in the dock? Sending Discord out to screw up catching Tirek? GETTING CAPTURED?

I read this and I don't hear Twilight Sparkle. To be quite frank, this sounds more like–and please no that I mean no offense to anyone who may read this–a brony.

Luna suddenly took a tiny step back, wondering if she could be Sent Into Moon twice …and how crowded it would be, sharing it with Celestia…

Celestia fat
much cake
so fatness
very obesity
:trollestia:

10570629
Remember: Alternate Universe...

You can have a Twilight lose her mind at a trivia contest, yell at Pinkie on Basalt Beach, snap at the others while trying to put the Element of Loyalty on Spike?

And not while Celestia tries to chain her to the Throne? Possibly FOREVER?

Would you like to clean my house?

Crystalheart

10570786
It's only really bad for the first 180-220 years, then they'll have starved enough of it off to at least stop the 'alternate breathing' adaptations...

I wish someone, somewhere would do a Moon comic, with Day Breaker and Nightmare Moon on it, drawing the line on the ground; "This is MY side! YOU stay on YOURS!"

With Starlight Glimmer back in Equestria dusting herself off, licking one of her hooves, and putting out the little tendril of smoke from the tip of her horn.

Twilight looks on, astounded...and a little fearful.

Crystalheart

Absolutely hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

The written really added a texture and weight to the beginning. Lovely!

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