10559961
I will, just fyi

I'm natural portuguese, and the way we learn how to use commas are much more abundant
I shall take note ^^

Why isn't there a non-con tag?

10651697
Good point! thanks for reminding me!

This is an interesting story idea so far. All I can put for some friendly advice from one author to another is that you should probably get an editor, as having a second person to look over your work allows you to iron it out to a certain degree of perfection. Second thing is, don't be afraid to elaborate on setting, details, etc. That's one way we draw our readers into the world we're writing, and it gives them a certain sense of involvement in the events.

More please