Part 1, Side B
The Florida heat would be the death of Ivory Scroll more than Amareican politics would ever be. Her blouses were damn near stuck to her every day, even when her office's walls were all she saw on any particular day. Canterly's money was funneled into repairs after the hurricane season more often than not. That meant that any hopes of bringing the miracle of air-conditioning to the old, wide-patioed town hall died quicker than Raven's houseplants. Sighing, Ivory eyed the stack of paperwork that accumulated on her desk. Already, the stack next to her whirring, and overheated computer was close to reaching past the monitor. Her whole office was as much of a hectic swamp as Everfree Natural Park was, only she was lost in seas of paperclips and the woods were the sheer volume of unchecked agenda items.
Such was the fate of being the Madam Mayor of a not-so-sleepy Southern town. The Sunshine State always slept with one eye open, and that single eye belonged to something that wasn't exactly human. Heat made people do crazy things, certainly. Perhaps that was the case for other states in the region, but Florida was different. On any given day, Ivory Scroll would receive at least two dozen complaints that managed to slip past her secretary, Miss Raven. Contained within each complaint was a true snack platter of Floridian madness. A woman would think that every member of the government needed to be annihilated because they were all anthropomorphic insectoid creatures. There was at least one man who managed to write to the mayor every year, pleading to be able to legally wed the ghost of his pet alligator. A convict who tried to butcher his neighbor with a machete named Kindness wished to be pardoned on the basis of his supposed wit. Another unique Floridian desperately wished to know why appearing on the property of an in-session elementary school clad in only smears of feces and cake frosting while attempting coitus with a riding lawn mower was illegal.
It was events like these that made hearing about the unexpected places spaghetti could be found during a cavity search barely different from accusations of flying demons in a high school. For goodness sake, back in Ivory's day they just called those cheerleaders — and they were considered quite normal, thank you very much.
Ivory sighed, gave her fingers a good stretch, and returned to her typing. Slants of sunlight shone through the blinds in her polished, professional office. None of it eased the squint that Ivory focused with, her single-track mind tiredly returning to the droll in front of her.
...
The thing that Ivory Scroll hated the most about being Madam Mayor was that people called her just that. 'Madam' came before her job title — and really, what else was needed to show that there was irregularity than that? Ivory had not grown up seeing women in her position, and modernity just wasn't modern enough if a mayor who happened to be a lady still had her gender pointed out to her. 'Mayor Scroll' wasn't exactly harder to say, although it was much less snappy. The whole thing was a bunch of fiddlesticks, that was for sure. Women like Raven were more common to see in Ivory's field, or perhaps it was a matter of location. The one normal thing in Florida could come down to the gender ratio of elected officials — and what could be more normal and more Flordiaian than the sole normal thing to be the least expected or interesting.
'Normal.'
Ivory sighed. The light on her phone was blinking with all the unanswered messages Raven had left her to drown in.
...
"Madam, you have a me-meeting with the rest of Canterly's council," came the soft and monotonous voice of Raven.
Ivory looked up immediately — and tiredly. Raven was a slight woman, with pale skin and a constantly timid expression. Every shadow and doorway appeared to swallow her, just like the entryway to Ivory's office did. Even Raven's pencil skirt managed to engulf her with its dark colors — everything about Raven's demeanor and attire had simply never evolved past the 1960s. The only remotely youthful things about Raven were her child-like stutter, that she couldn't drive a stick shift, and her coffee orders were practically filibusters.
"Thank you, Raven," Ivory said, rubbing her temples. The last cup of coffee she had was long-gone, and Ivory was already contemplating her twelfth cup that day. "I'll be there shortly."
Heavens knew she would be needing all that coffee too. One of the most persistent petitioners in all of Canterly was none other than Abacus Cinch, the ex-principal of the private Crystal Prep Academy in the next town over. Crystal City was nowhere nearly as grand in scale in its name suggested, merely wealthy and well-liked to anyone who wasn't from Canterly. Mayor Ivory Scroll could only purse lips in the thinnest of smiles each time she heard its name or the mention of its Grand Witch of education fiascos. Cinch's young son, Gaylord Blueblood, had run against her. The whole family never got over the loss — even the 'nice' side, two sisters so distantly related to the father of the current Blueblood they might as well be strangers.
The Galaxia-Cinch-Blueblood family was a disaster, one that wasted the time of good people like Ivory Scroll. Abacus was determined to bring her every personal issue to a civic level. Resigning just wasn't enough for some people.
Ivory sighed once Raven closed the door. It was all she could do. There was nothing in this world that was determined to bury her with that which was beyond her capabilities.
...
All that Ivory had wanted in her life was a spotless career. To her, there was more admirable about the idea of being a mere civil servant than that mere part to it. With its quaint shopping centers, semi-quiet suburbs, and especially easy access to beaches and the Everfree, the Canterly area was utterly unassuming. There could be no place more perfect for a respectable and unremarkable career to serve others, and all her aspirations to foster community could be fulfilled.
She had been wholly convinced that she could make a difference, that the first term of Ivory Scroll would be more than a continuation of the last mayors.
She could be more than another portrait in the hall of a municipal building.
Ivory could only sigh when she, at last, parked her car. The key twisted, her car's engine died, and her office loomed not far away. It was just a reminder that 'civil servant' was no different than saying 'civil slave' — which was the truth about what Ivory Scroll had become.
...
The greatest conflict in Ivory's life was that she wanted to be normal, and her calling conflicted with that completely and utterly. To do good was something that required one to be anything but normal, and she hadn't realized that until long after she had been elected. She really could be more than another portrait in the hallway, but the real question was: did she want to be? To do otherwise, to be that everywoman was a drumbeat that pulsed so deeply, one that overwhelmed her more than being drowning ever could.
She could be a normal, neighborly member of the community who just happened to be the mayor.
Or Ivory could be a good, upstanding individual — ah, that was the rub. To be upstanding one had to stand out.
All Ivory Scroll had wanted, more than that was for the eternal summer heat of her town to lull her into the same stupor everyone else found themselves in. To sit down instead of standing up — or standing out. There was a cake of life that she could be content with, and it was on a window sill she was not sure she could reach — or she simply hadn't tried to.
Ivory sighed, knowing that she was all but wishing for everything to magically disappear.
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Everfree as Everglades... Yeah, it works. I usually put human Canterlot in California, but Florida's also an option. Plus, this means CHS shenanigans can lead to headlines like "Florida Girl Tears Apart Space and Time; School Board Unavailable for Comment."
Ah. Hiding the magical shenanigans in a smokescreen of Florida People. Brilliant.
Now, now, she's still getting paid. It's not like she's an intern.
In any case, lovely glimpse of the other side of the equation. Looking forward to seeing how you balance it.
10657299
I mean, I like to think my stories are more inclusive than describing JUST people! I mentioned furries AND cheerleaders, after all!
I was thrown off at first, but I’mma see where this goes
'Sunset Shimmer Is Florida Woman' suddenly makes everything make way more sense.
10657342
Thank you, and I hope you continue to stick around/come to enjoy the human side of the mirror.
10657414
I keep my tin foil hat on right, as you might be able to see.
10657431
I’m cool with both, I just didn’t see the EQG tag so reading them as humans took a minute to adjust
10657447
Huh. Maybe there is a way that I could label stories more carefully in the future?
10657460
No no, it’s all fine bud. I was just being a dumbass lol
so we have a prince and the pauper situation
10657738
We might. My lips here are sealed. 👀
"...any hopes of bringing the miracle of air-conditioning to the old, wide-patioed town hall died quicker than Raven's houseplants."
I need details!
10829222
You want a spin-off specifically about how Raven is bad at taking care of plants?
If that was what you meant, I think that is one of the more unusual requests for a sequel/related story that I have gotten.
10829310
Oh... Wow! This is a little embarassing...
I misunderstood the text, I thought it said "housepants" hahahaxD
You know... Florida heat and all...