New Feelings

by Starlight Fan

Starlight´s Fears and Doubts

¨Y´know I should probably give myself a name, Evil Starlight sounds so lazy, I think I´ll name myself Moonlight. Yes that´s a good one, I´ll stick with that.¨ Evil Starlight who is now renamed Moonlight said in a condescending voice.

The real Starlight was overwhelmed with terror, and was sweating nervously while trembling in her hooves, but she decided to speak.

¨What´s going on? Why are you here?¨ The real Starlight demanded in a shaky tone.

¨Oh please, do you honestly think you could escape your fears and past by getting away from that runt you so desprately desire?¨ Moonlight mockingly asked.

¨Spike is not some runt, he´s a living being with thoughts and feelings.¨ Starlight angrily retorted.

Moonlight walked up closely to Starlight and laughed at her in malice.

¨Oh please what do you know about feelings, last I checked you did not seem to care about how the other ponies felt back when you were leading that village of yours.¨ Moonlight argued with a smirk.

¨Hey, I gave them a choice they gave up their cutie marks willingly, besides I realized what I did was wrong and even apologized for it.¨ Starlight spoke with a glare.

¨Yeah you were so considerate when you took Twilight and her friends´ cutie marks by force, and forced them to be put in a Reformation Room also I seem to remember you brainwashing those 5 ponies to do your bidding over some pathetic friendship lesson, oh how pathetic you have become Starlight.¨ Moonlight spoke with sarcasm.

Starlight tried to argue with that but found out she couldn´t come up with anything to say, while the spell she put on the Mane 5 was not meant to be permenant she still knew Moonlight had a point, which Moonlight noticed and smirked with glee.

¨Face it Glimmer, no matter how hard you try you will never be anything more than a controlling, power-hungry, man-hungry monster, face it you´re just like me.¨ Moonlight heartlessly replied.

¨No, No, No, I will never be like you, Never!¨ Starlight cried.

¨Deep inside you know it´s true, you don´t love Spike, you´re only physically attracted to him, and besides he´d never love somepony like you. Nopony will ever love you for your pathetic personality, you are nothing but a monster.¨ Moonlight maliciously stated.

¨Enough!¨ A royal voice shouted.

A blast came from above and made Moonlight teleport out of the cave, that blast was revealed to come from Princess Luna.

¨Luna, what are you doing here?¨ Starlight asked.

¨You´re dream had a lot of negative energy, it´s clear this nightmare was very serious. I may have fought it off but it will keep coming back if you don´t face it yourself. It´s clear you have a lot of fear going on in your head Starlight.¨ Luna answered.

¨Oh Luna, I´m just terrified, not just for me, but also for Spike, not only am I scared I´ll lose him as a friend, I feel like I´ll just treat him like a servant, I mean look at me, I casted spells on my friends to make them do my bidding for a friendship lesson, and I switched yours and Celestia´s cutie marks against your will, that makes me scared because I feel like I´ll do something similar to him, he does not deserve to go through that, I feel like I don´t deserve him.¨ Starlight confessed while crying.

¨Yes I am aware you have made countless mistakes before Starlight, but you do learn from them every time, plus despite my royal status I am not perfect either, I turned into Nightmare Moon and took my anger out on innocent ponies who did not deserve it. I also made the mistake of creating the Tantabus out of my guilt, despite knowing the risks I did it anyway. I realized my past does not define me, Starlight if you truly love Spike, you do not need to worry about harming him. Even if he does not return your feelings he would never stop being your friend, I sense Moonlight is returning, just remember what I told you.¨ Luna softly spoke before leaving.

After Luna left, Starlight was starting to realize Luna was probably right, she did love Spike, and she was only having these fears because she loved him so much that she did not want him to get hurt because of her and she felt that she just wasn´t ready to give love a chance, well she´s done being afraid.

Moonlight reappeared in anger, and Starlight was more confident in herself that she could face her fears.

¨Ugh, when will you ever learn that you are nothing more than a monster?¨ Moonlight asked with rage.

¨I am not a monster, I see that now, I do truly love Spike, and I realize that these fears are just me being scared that I´m not ready for love, well I am ready to give love a chance, I just know it.¨ Starlight spoke with confidence.

Starlight felt like she was glowing and Moonlight for once was the one afraid.

¨No you idiot, you don´t have a chance with him, he will never return your feelings, he will reject you, and stop being your friend.¨ Moonlight screamed in anger.

¨I don´t care if he doesn´t return my feelings, I won´t force him to love me as long as he´s happy I´m happy, also I know Spike will still be my friend even if he doesn´t love me back, he values his friendships with every pony, he would not just ditch me for something like that, I see that now. Good bye Moonlight.¨ Starlight proudly replied.

Moonlight began fading away, and she made one last desperate attempt to beat Starlight.

¨No, you can´t do this, you can never escape me Starlight, I am a part of you.¨ Moonlight cried in desperation.

¨Yep a part of me that I don´t live by anymore, I am not you and all you are is just a figment of my imagination made by my fears and doubts, well I´m not afraid anymore.¨ Starlight bravely replied.

Starlight blasted Moonlight and just like that Moonlight was gone.

(In the real world)

Starlight woke up overjoyed, the others were still sleeping but she was so proud of herself. She did it, she was finally free from her past.

Author's Note:

I clearly went all out on this chapter, yeah I´m changing the rating to T since this does have some very dark stuff going on in Starlight´s head, and plus the Drama and occasional inappropriate words make my rating change feel justified, also I wanted Starlight to realize that she truly loves Spike and is ready to give love a chance. Also you have no idea how satisfying it was to defend Starlight, this was way overdue, I´ve seen a lot of stories that portray her like someone who is just some delusional stalker or completely horny who would just take the opprotunity to mind control someone to have sex with her whenever I try to find a romance story around her, now I have nothing against you if you did write these stories, I respect you as a person either way, but it´s just so OOC for Starlight, yeah she may have used a mind control spell like that once, but she learned her lesson and I feel it was meant to be temporary anyway, plus she´s relatively sane, even when she got jealous about Sunburst spending more time with her friends than her, she didn´t sabotage Sunburst´s friendships with them, plus she seemed to accept that Sunburst didn´t wanna be friends anymore, now those stories are probably meant to be seen as a joke, or it´s just for story purposes, but knowing how this fan base is I have a feeling they think Starlight would do stuff like that, I´m sorry if I offended any Starlight haters. I mean I respect your opinion if you dislike Starlight, but she does not have these character traits in my opinion, I´m sorry if I´m being a jerk, but I felt it needed to be said. I respect your opinion if you disagree with me. Now mind you that is not the only reason I wrote this story, I wrote this story because I love Spike x Starlight and I felt it would be fun to write, and I wanted to show how Starlight would handle her feelings if she ever had romantic feelings for any of the characters in my opinion, I feel like she would be afraid of losing Spike as a friend, and I also think she´d doubt herself and feel like she didn´t deserve him. Also this chapter was always meant for Starlight to face her fears, and confront them head on. I sincerely hope you enjoyed this so far.

Comments

[Starlight Fan]

I am sorry if I said anything out of line in my Author´s Note, I was probably acting like a jerk and if I was well I´m sorry, Looking back, me making assumptions about what the fan base thinks without even knowing what their opinion was did sound like I was being judgy on my end, I did not mean it like that, I meant that it could be possible they do feel that way about Starlight, but I could be wrong about that, I´m sorry if I did anything to make you upset. I respect your opinions if you agree or disagree with me on any of my opinions.

[Pete100]

Honestly, I expected it to take longer for her to get over her fears and doubts, but that’s probably just in my case.

[Starlight Fan]

10559979
Well Starlight´s had these feelings for him since Season 7 so she´s had these lingering doubts for a while. Does that make sense? Also did I act like a jerk when I wrote that Author´s Note?

[Pete100]

10559999
If she’s had these doubts before then shouldn’t she have had nightmares about it before? Also, it depends on your definition of being a jerk.

[Starlight Fan]

10560011
I meant if I was being judgmental. Also Starlight´s had nightmares before, just not as bad as the one was having this chapter.

[Pete100]

10560024
I mean, it’s not like you insulted anyone, you just said you didn’t like certain stories and gave your reasoning. That’s not being a jerk that’s just having an opinion. Also, how much time has passed since “To Change a Changeling” to “The Mean 6”?

[Starlight Fan]

10560039
I´d say the gap between the two episodes is about two months, maybe it´s unrealisitic, but I can´t make this story perfect. Also if you do like the type of stories that I don´t like, that is fine, I respect your opinion, and if the authors do like making these stories, that is also fine, I won´t force anybody to stop writing or reading what they want to, even if I don´t like it.

[Pete100]

10560059
So, she got over her fears in two months? Also, I don’t read those type of stories, my morals won’t allow me and because I don’t think I’ve seen those type of stories.

[Starlight Fan]

10560070
I guess she kinda did, maybe it might be a bit unrealistic but I tried the best I could to make it as realistic as possible. Sorry if I did something wrong.

[Pete100]

10560085
It’s fine, all authors have their errors.

[Ruben Mejia]

When will the next chapter be released?

[Starlight Fan]

10565857
I´m not sure, I plan on rewriting Matter of Principals next chapter, and it´s going to change a lot. So I need to plan for that.

[Ruben Mejia]

I agree matters of principals is going to change alot because spike and Starlight were watching the school so discord planned a fake friendship mission to get them two on a date.

[Starlight Fan]

10580095
By the way can you guess what scene I referenced when Starlight told Moonlight she’s not a part of her anymore.