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pony-writer/pornographer looking for work. old stories undeleted. i'm sorry. Patreon here

Comments ( 29 )

I think this individual story is complete, but the larger universe involving the characters may continue to be portrayed. You'd have to ask Miss Direction for the absolute details tho. :x

"Yeah, the Sun's nice 'n' all, but what about the Sun's moons."

This short story is complete, but other ideas for this universe still bounce around in my head. Hopefully, work on at least one of them can start before the New Year. If I recall correctly, darf & I began this fic in late August, though I brainstormed different aspects of it for over a month before then.

Then, why don't you marry her‽

In all seriousness, I'm shocked by your enthusiastic approval of her, but I suppose that's because I know more about her problems & past than anyone else. ;P I dropped some hints about those in Scenes 2 & 5's dialogue, though I understand it's not much to go on.

Based off what I read and took away from it, Brick has a sort of crush on Celestia. He gains Frost as roommate and discovers she can transform into any pony which he has transforming into Celestia repeatedly. Frost being optimistic is in Canterlot believing Ponies and Changelings can be friendly/ symbiotic with each other, but has fallen for Brick since than. The bad side it's one sided and her mother knows this, and unfortunately seems like Frost is starting to believe maybe ponies and Changelings aren't meant to mingle.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. For what's present, I enjoyed the mystery of it.

always nice to see a Halo reference. good old Gravemind "Child of my enemy. Why have you come? I offer no forgiveness. A father's sins passed to his son!"

This is a great established universe, and very polished scenes. I have no idea why Batpones tend to have Spanish nowadays, but I like it.
That last part definitely leads to more from this universe if possible, I'm very curious. It seemed so different from the first part of the story :rainbowderp:
Great job in this one, both of you!

Your summary proves accurate overall. 👍 Though, it's less about Frosty "starting to believe" & more about her struggling against the indoctrination & propaganda that completely controlled her life under Queen Chrysalis; frankly, Frosty's not as intelligent as her mother, so she suffers from internal conflict between her mother's seemingly ironclad arguments & her own young, instinctual conscience.

I concur, completely. That's one of this short story's nine intentional references (3:16):

Many thanks for your kind words, Chillean! :twilightsmile: Hopefully, I can transfer other ideas for this universe into the written word. Unfortunately, it seems including a NSFW scene repulses many readers & affords this short story a reputation for being a purely clopfic, though it meant more than that to me; I separated the one NSFW scene into its own chapter, cleared labeled it, & structured the fic to stand alone without it to diminish that potential reputation.

I have no idea why Batpones tend to have Spanish nowadays, but I like it.

I haven't heard or read of any other Spanish (Mexican in this case) batponies. :applejackunsure: Would you mind providing examples of other ones?

I completely understand the issue with some readers, and I generally don't mind explicit scenes in a a story like this if they're well tagged. Additionally, I've seen authors make their stories T rated and then have separate side fics for the M rated chapters. However you want to approach it, I personally love this layout. :twilightsmile:
And one of the recent stories to hit the feature box, Everyday Life With Guardsmares has a main character batpone that mixes in some Spanish for example, I'd have to search for some of the others off the top of my head though.

Comment posted by anunenka deleted Nov 29th, 2020


I haven't heard or read of any other Spanish (Mexican in this case) batponies. :applejackunsure: Would you mind providing examples of other ones?

One that I'm tracking is Everyday Life with Guardsmares. I believe the batpony in that one would be Castillian Spanish, but I'm not 100% sure.

I came for the clop...


...but stayed for the personal drama.

This story was so good, and it only hints at so much more. I really want to know what happens between Frosty, Brick, Celestia, and Chrysalis! :pinkiehappy:

More clop would be okay too.

Lets see...
Child of my enemy-halo gravemind

Blood and soil and living space-Germany before and during WWII

I think Ash Spade's voices in her head is a comics Deadpool reference.

Legions of bronze bulls marched past both ponies, and Jilk heard a thousand screams echo in their bellies

Greek brazen bull torture and execution device. There is a story of a woman or maybe two women who were stuffed in one but survived, but for the life of me I cannot remember where I heard it or who the women were.

Caf-pow! A reference to NCIS what Abby drinks a lot of.

Arrow to the knee in chapter one is a Skyrim reference

Dream of perpetual motion is a book written by Dexter palmer

First ring of hell is a reference to dante's inferno

Toucha his spaghet is a meme referencing the 1939 Terry toons three bears

Anything Ash could do, the alicorn could do, like, 10 times faster (and better to boot

anything you can do, i can do better! I can do anything better than you!

Beautiful- yello oh yeah

More than 9, but I believe I caught them all within the ones I found.

Fortunately, I haven't read Everyday Life With Guardmares, though I did add that novel to my "Read Later" list. Few HiE stories appeal to me. :applejackunsure:


This story was so good
More clop would be okay too.

Many thanks for your kind words! :pinkiehappy: I appreciate them.

Chapter 2 features the first "clop" scene I've ever written.

Most, but not all! You found 6 of the 9 :raritywink:
1) "CHILD OF MY ENEMY, why have you come? I offer no forgiveness" comes from Halo 3's Gravemind.
2) Both "Blood & Soil" & "Living Space" reference the political philosophy of War World II/Nazi Germany.
3) Ash Spade in this short story & Abby Scuito in the television series NCIS consume Caf-Pow!.
4) NPCs mention taking an "arrow to the knee" in Skyrim.
5) Princess Celestia alludes to Dexter Palmer's The Dream of Perpetual Motion, a book I tried to read at an acquaintance's recommendation.
6) You recognized the meme "Somebody Toucha My Spaghet".

Three other intentional references remain: one pertains to a zany video-game character, & there's another (more esoteric) political philosophy exhibited; the final reference is film- & history-related, but the movie serves as a piece of transmedia content for a video-game series. :twilightsmile:

I just wrote "bronze bulls" & "First Ring of Hell" as common English nouns or sayings, not intentional references to anything in particular.

and the occasional big succ.

Oh ffs :rainbowlaugh:

Really? So the fact that ash has 2 different voices in her head, speaking in purple text and bold text, isn't a vague comics Deadpool reference?

Lets see...again...
Weltenshauung could be a reference to one of the four worldviews.

Axios could be a reference to the acclamation adopted by the early syriac orthodox, eastern orthodox, and byzantine eastern churches when ordaining bishops, priests, and deacons.

You did the whole us vs them thing, which is a pretty good way of dehumanizing the enemy during war, which was definitely done in WWII and Korea/Vietnam with propaganda.

Its just dialectics is referring to the dialectical method, two people with different viewpoints trying to establish the truth through reason...which really makes me think of socrates in AC: odyssey...i want to hate him, but dammit hes always right...

My metabolism could run circles around yours is a reference to one of the taunt lines said by the tf2 scout.

The domestic surveillance bit with ash could be a reference to the NSA and their way of giving spying on us citizens a "positive media outlook" but you did say esoteric...

I can't seem to find any video game movie references. Could you give a hint as to what chapter to look in or something? Maybe the bit where the castle crumbles away and celestia becomes daybreaker is a reference to the mortal kombat movie. But it could also be a reference to the Mario movie, but that iirc was said to be not canon to the actual Mario lore...

Better to be succ'd than zucc'd. :rainbowkiss:

I cannot recall ever reading a Deadpool comic, but please censor any spoilers you post in the comments.

Please censor any spoilers you post in the comments.

Axios could be a reference

Yeah, it could be, but I can't confirm whether it is unless you tell me who/what it references. Otherwise, you could just point at every line in the story, guessing "That could be a reference" until I answer "Yes" nine times. ;P In this short story, "Axios" does not reference churches & ordinations; however, it serve as an allusion to something else...

referring to the dialectical method

As you note, dialectics serve as a method (not a political philosophy), but you're getting warmer; some might even describe that guess as "on fire"! :twilightsmile:

Could you give a hint as to what chapter to look in or something?

I already provided you with three hints! :raritydespair:

I did get the zany video game character though.

What a twist! Frosty for best bug.

A very sexy and interesting twist!

Bacon is for Sycophants and products of incest: Tannis, Boarderlands 2 (I think 2, could be 1 but I'm pretty sure it's 2)
Two more to go ^^

Seriously though, I really, really loved this. I've been wanting to write a changeling character like Frosty for a long time and you nailed the dichotomy of pony vrs changeling lifestyles, and her terror at being discovered, perfectly well. And the twist at the end of chapter one was so good, too. Like, clearly something was wrong - diving for the shotgun, and Brick being afraid to take her to ponyville, the mention of her previous home being kind of sketchy, but I never saw changeling coming. I don't know if that was more Miss Direction or Darf but it was great!

Edit: Wooops totally forgot to spoiler, but I got to it eventually

Many thanks for your kind words! darf & I appreciate them. :twilightsmile:

That’s one of the references, yes: Tannis asserts such blasphemy during her intro in Borderlands 2’s city of Sanctuary. 👍

I don't know if that was more Miss Direction or Darf but it was great!

In chronological order:
1) I wrote Scene 2 &, then, Scene 5. Next, Admiral Biscuit provided advice that I incorporated into the second drafts of both Scene 2 & Scene 5.
2) darf wrote the first draft of Scene 3 before I wrote the second draft of Scene 3.
3) darf wrote the first draft of Scene 1, after which I wrote the second draft of Scene 1.
4) darf wrote the first draft of Scene 4 before I wrote the second draft of Scene 4.
5) darf wrote the first drafts of the short description & long description; I wrote the second drafts of those two.

I really REALLY need more of these guys...I feel the story have just started and I can't wait for more!

alright, think i got them all.

Caf-pow! is a reference to NCIS

Arrow to the knee is a Skyrim reference

Dream of perpetual motion is a book written by Dexter palmer

"It's all just dialectics" & "oppressors versus the oppressed" references the Communist & Marxist political philosophy of dialectical materialism

Toucha his spaghet is a meme referencing the 1939 Terry toons three bears

Child of my enemy is a reference to Halo 3 when interacting with the Gravemind

Blood and soil and living space is a reference to German Ideology before and during WWII

Sycophants and products of incest is a reference to Borderlands 2

Axios is a reference to the Corbulo academy motto from Halo: Forward unto Dawn.

This was a great fic, lots of love, drama and smutty clop! Well done!

Thank you! Coming from the esteemed author of "Zala the Zebra" & "Non-Standard Docking Equipment" & your own ApoJet series, that means a lot to me. After writing the title for this short story, I realized it shared the term "Non-Standard" with one of your titles.

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