KingdaKa
Joined 18th Jan, 2020 ·
Online
Sequels1
-
KingdaKa · 8.2k words · 59 13 · 2.6k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Melody Brush · 24k words · 66 13 · 2.1k views
- SpyPony · 10k words · 31 13 · 1.1k views
- KingdaKa · 7.3k words · 119 25 · 5k views
- onekface · 11k words · 90 11 · 2.7k views
- SLZ · 2.9k words · 23 9 · 584 views
- Retrokin · 5k words · 27 2 · 724 views
- Storyreader21 · 8.3k words · 51 4 · 1.9k views
- KingdaKa · 9.1k words · 119 12 · 6k views
Featured In58
Shipping 💖11,657 stories ·9,732 members
Clopfics11,528 stories ·15,805 members
- Celestia & Luna4,433 stories ·2,701 members
The Fillyfoolers3,940 stories ·3,487 members
- The Mighty Lunar Republic662 stories ·1,029 members
The Writers' Group56,313 stories ·9,281 members
One-Shots18,867 stories ·2,367 members
Twilestia is Bestia956 stories ·3,265 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.15 seconds
Total duration
1,082 users online
2,588,348 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Where's the cover image from?
10714091
2241511 on derpibooru by Scorpdk
Thanks for the fic!
10714941
Thanks. I try.
At this point I was expecting something more along the lines of her getting overwhelmed with the emotions of kissing all three of them and finally breaking down because she thinks she can't have any of them followed by them realizing that Twilight thinks that they're toying with her followed by an explanation that they're serious leading into the sexual stuff. But that's just me enjoying a bit of drama rather than Cadance suddenly snapping because she's sexually frustrated.
10719728
I came away from this one frustrated more than anything else. I like the buildup more than the payoff.
10719892
Yeah, this one just felt off from a lot of the other fics you've written. Don't get me wrong it's still a decent fic it just....... (Can't think of another way of explaining it) it's like playing through a video game and watching everything kind of lag around you, if that makes any sort of sense. I liked it but it just didn't feel right.
10721472
Blame depression. It's what I do.
I also think I let it get too long, which doesn't help. Something about this one just never came out right and it kills me. I am so sorry.
10721477
Believe me I have seen worse on here. Way, way worse. This one does have a good story to it it's written well and while it started to feel a little forced halfway through chapter 2, at least you're spelling everything right and getting your grammar correct. I've come across people who just throw stuff up and admit that it's bad and don't even bother trying to fix it. And then you get a lot of headaches trying to read it. So it's still good but it's different.
10721488
It won't always happen, at least. The circumstances behind this one were uniquely difficult.
10721489
Well I hope you get to feeling better.
I mean today this story has about 50 upvotes sooooooo.........
10775748
Oh, it was a throwaway joke. I've had issues with getting tons of downvotes early on in a story's lifespan.
10776393
I see, still if anything I’m interested in this little series you’ve got going here.
This was definitely a nice concept.
But that's the concept.
Reading the actual execution, I can really feel the frustration you describe from when you wrote it. Things get very bogged down and blocky and just hard to parse, almost kind of mechanical word salad at some points. Some interactions got multiple paragraphs instead of lines, and some short phrases ended up as entire lines. There was a rare but very real overload of adverbs and adjectives and descriptors, especially since a lot of them were generic and didn't actually help paint the picture or set the scene.
These two chapters were about 25,000 words and probably should have been closer to 10-15k. Just a real dull thudding brick, sorry to say.
10803829
It was more or less forced out, and came at a time I was struggling to write things out. Just an example of blunt-forcing a writer's block.
LOL
Twilight, you gotta get that lust outta you! Good thing Cady and the rest were there for you :D
Very good story. A lot of passion there, and I love how all the princesses — except maybe Twilight — were so casual and mature about sharing one another. Even though girl-on-girl isn’t my usual favorite, this was more than hot enough to make up for it.
Two complaints only:
A) Yeah … it was kind of evident that you’d gotten burned out by the end and were kind of just rushing to get through it. That’s especially a shame because the end was when you finally let them have a proper foursome instead of continually separating them into pairs of two.
B) Despite all of the purple prose, we don’t get very much description of their bodies, not really. Only vague ideas and generalities. Some details would be highly appreciated. Like, are they all completely shaven, or do some of them still have a patch of fluff? Celestia seems to have the biggest breasts, but maybe Cadance’s are nearly as big while being firmer and more perky? Perhaps one of them has inverted nipples that only come out to play when coaxed and teased? Who has smaller or larger nipples? Whose are more brown or more pink? Twilight and Luna’s breasts get especially little attention. And the rest of their bodies as well. Luna is more muscular — we got that and that’s a nice detail — but more like that would be nice. Is Twilight petite? Does Cadance have legs for days? Does Luna have lovely grooves of her abs showing? Does Celestia have the slightest hint of a belly, thanks to too much cake? With the immense word count and flowery description of a story like this, there should be more than enough room for that sort of thing. Paying more attention to their clothing would also help. The process of taking it off could be a highly erotic tease … but this story treats it as an inconvenience to be dispensed with as quickly as possible. Twilight should also have had way more of a reaction to seeing them nude in the hot tub for the first time!
Well … that comment went on for a bit too long. But it’s only because I really enjoyed the story … which makes me wish that it had lived up to its full potential. Still, though, thanks for toughing it out and finishing the thing! I’m glad I got the chance to read it!
11447704
Trust me, I try to forget this one.