• Member Since 11th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 13th, 2015

xscout159xx


I love ponies herpdaderp

E

Pinke Pie and Vinyl Scratch always known each other, maybe because the both love partying, maybe because pinkie only has Vinyl DJ at her parties. Whatever the reason it never hit Pinkie that maybe, Just maybe Vinyl is the mate for her...
*note there are a little more ponies in this, like Dinky but isnt listed also a Skrillex pony :3

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 26 )

I can tell from the 1st paragraph it needs a lot of editing.

Im just helping out here, so don't get mad, but there are a APPLES LOAD of spelling errors, get yourself an editor, but it is still good!:scootangel:

Also, on the first paragraph, how could it seem like a "quiet night" if all that stuff was going down? It doesn't rally make much sense.

Good Luck:unsuresweetie:

78044
Sorry but my editor couldnt so this one his busy with work, his on fan fiction and a lot of other things.:ajbemused:

78096 hence the 'seemed like'...:facehoof:, and Sorry but my editor couldnt so this one his busy with work, his on fan fiction and a lot of other things im awaitinh him to finish editing Chapter 3 of Legend of Twilight an my Little SlenderPony.
i only have 1 pre reader/ editor

its really good aside from the errors keep up the good work:rainbowdetermined2:

78189
like i said, 1 editor, busy a lot. And thanks a modivational comment :D:pinkiehappy:

Since you've already commented on the errors and explained them, I won't tire you with another comment about it.
For the story itself: I liked it a lot! :pinkiehappy:
Sorry that I don't have anything constructive to comment :twilightblush: I've read your fanfic while writing mine so... yeah.

78228
One thing I forgot (don't know if it's the editor's work). Each dialog needs a line for itself. You can keep the same line if it's the same person speaking.

I'd hate to say it, but I couldn't get past the second paragraph due to all the errors. :applejackunsure: If you want I can edit this for you? Unless you have somebody else already doing it, or just want to leave it as is until your editor comes back.

78234 yeah, i wrote that BEFORE i knew that fact, my editor/bro told me that but only after i finished this.

.78237 OH, That would be awesome if you could! Im not much of an editor or writer, its not my cup of tea per say but its fun :3
Anyway if you could that would be nice :scootangel:

78237 * its not my cup of tea per say but WRITINGS fun :3
as you see i suck at english/literature/writing lol...

Do you mind sending me the story in a message? It turns out quite wacky when I try it from here.

Ugh... nice concept, but like others have said, it needs serious work. This is more like a rough draft, than anything. You should re-read what you've written before submitting it, so you can catch errors and fix them. And break apart the dialogue. As a general rule, any time a different character speaks, or the focus shifts from one character to another, you should start a new paragraph. Not to mention there are plenty of spelling and grammar errors you need to address.

If you have a pre-reader/editor and they aren't available yet, either wait until they are, and have gone over it, before uploading it, or go back over your story a few times yourself.

I don't care what the grammar nazi's say...

This was a great story.

I sent you the editted and revised version, if you haven't noticed or haven't got it yet. :raritywink:

'ey, sorry, I just noticed I missed some errors at the very bottom. Sorry about that :ajsleepy:

They're fairly simple though. I.E. 'feel' should've been 'fell,' etc. and some capitalization/run-on errors. Sorry again :facehoof:.

Thanks for noting me, though! :scootangel:

80532
Hey thanks for doing it! If i ever need some help i know who to turn to :3:scootangel:

why is everypony complaining about the mistakes so much? it's not that bad. Well, at least to me it isn't ^^ i have this "reading problem" (no idea it is called in english), so i don't really notice any mistakes while reading normaly. But i to be honest it's easier to really enjoy some of the stories, like this one.
what I'm trying to say is: enjoy the story first, and don't be too harsh on the author. not everyone can grow up in the UK.

I must say, this was a truly wonderful tale, and it was a very interesting read. You definitely have a cutie mark in writing, my friend! :pinkiehappy:

Not bad, but it could be better.

I agree with UnlocalEntity I think you can write some amazing storys:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Could've used better transitions when it went to different points in the story.:twilightsmile:

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