• Member Since 28th Jul, 2020
  • online


Howdy, I’m Burt.


The ponies of Equestria speak an interesting language, it’s a shame that Anon; an extraterrestrial alien from a universe far away, can’t speak it or understand it.

That won’t stop him from being a massive chuckle-fuck, though.

Sex tag is only there because Anon just oozes that energy and you can’t stop him. No seriously, just try it.

Profanity tag is also there because Anon.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 31 )

No you read that correctly, this story is incomplete. I think I’m gonna give another chapter (or two) on this one. This dumb idea kept making more words appear on my screen than my usual dumb ideas do, so we’ll see how it goes.

Plus this thing is called ‘Anon can’t Speak Pony’, so it doesn’t make sense that I’d end that little gimmick so fast into a chapter. But don’t worry. It won’t last much longer 😈

Also I’d like to send virtual high fives to all of you—those without arms will have to make due—I appreciate all the love my stupid stuff gets. I hope the quality matches the quantity.

Remember to sleep eight hours everyday and to take care of yourself. Or else.

Where did the wedding photo go?

Comment posted by Vaalintine deleted Saturday

Poor Cheems had his life in shambles for a while when he suffered that opioid overdose. His wife sadly couldn’t handle the stress and filed for divorce. But that’s all right, because he’s recently reconnected with the boys and started a new DnD campaign, he now lives his life however he wishes, without the burden of marriage keeping him down. His wife was rather controlling.

Also because dapper Cheems is so lovely to look at.

Hopefully he finds a better wife in the future


Excelente historia, señor Burt. Otra pieza de magnífica y artística labor. Espero la próxima actualización con ansias.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh s:yay:t

r u n t w i g g l e s r u n

Yo Twilight has only known humans exist for 10 minutes and has already begun forced human experimentation.

Me: Ah, good morning Twilight Sparkle.

"Cum is stored in the brain and I've got a headache"

“Stop! I’ll never ask any question about you every again, just please stop saying those things!” She whined, waving her hooves at him as she shook her head in disgust. “No more!”

I think this is supposed to be "ever"

“Ich liebe es Decken zu lecken?”

I didn't know that Twilight loves to lick blankets

No sé si confundir español con francés fue intencional...

But it was a nice read anyways :)

Top of the featured box again, Burt. How do you do this? You're a God of Fanfiction, I swear.

I guess I’m just constructed out of dissimilar materials.

That, or the algorithm really likes the funny dog. 🤷‍♂️

It was intentional. 👀 He also mistook German for Spanish, the silly goose.

My sides hurt from laughing at this. A like and a follow from me have been earned.

How do you do it? Time and time again I collapse from laughing at the absurdity of these stories, they're so fucking great.
Also, where the fuck do you find the images for them because jesus christ they're beautiful.

“Bitch Tits? Huh, not the name I would’ve picked for you, but if that’s your name, that’s your name.”

I'm sorry- but is that a reference to the start of Fallout New Vegas-

Always knew Seyoung was never made for a committed relationship

So... The story is named "Anon doesn't speak pony" which sounds like it could call for a few chapters of miscommunication and misunderstandings and the challenge of finding a good way to communicate. But instead, let's just do that for... Half... Three quarters of the first chapter and then instantly solve the issue with magic so that there is no longer said potentially entertaining issue to overcome...

Was hoping that it would last longer, honestly... Could've had a good hook.

Perhaps the spell doesn't take hold and only works for a short amount of time leading to hijinks? Or maybe there was some hidden slap where he can only understand her and vice versa?

Perhaps. I'll have a look at whatever next chapter there is, just to see what comes of this. Give the author the benefit of the doubt.

I just came here to say that I instantly turned the cover art into a Discord server emoji that I now can gleefully use across Discord.

I was rather confused as well. Mostly on how she knew German.

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