Starlight Glimmer Is A Hopelessly Oblivious Lesbian And We All Love Her For It

by Velocipede

Footnotes

1. There is no heterosexual explanation for this.

Comments

[Fillyfoolish]

When a Mommy and her three platonic female friends love each other very much...

[Moosetasm]

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Honestly, I always figured Maud was Geosexual.

[Fillyfoolish]

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[insert low-effort pun about bedrock here]

[Reese]

Hm. On the one hand, kind of wondering if I should wait until that gap between this and the previous events gets filled, but... eh, why not. :)
[reads]

"Rarity is Sweetie Belle’s legal guardian or something"
...I'm not sure if it's worse if something happened to/with their parents and Rarity actually is Sweetie Belle's legal guardian, or if their parents have just been so absent, with Rarity taking on that role de facto, that Ellie reasonably came to that conclusion.

re the footnote:
Hah! :D
...I mean, I think I disagree here, but it's a funny line nonetheless. :D
[reads further]
Oh, the first usage of the footnote, that was about. Though it pulling double (so far?) duty seems to be resulting in me finding it even more amusing. :D

And I enjoyed the story. :)

[Bicyclette]

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My headcanon is that because Rarity and Sweetie Belle's parents are only shown once before leaving on vacation, that they've just started going on vacations forever now that Rarity is finally old and established enough to basically take over being Sweetie Belle's legal guardian. It's messed up but in a fun sitcom wacky living situation kind of way and not the un-fun way parental abandonment is in real life!

[Reese]

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Yay? :D
(Though I do wonder what Ellie's thoughts on this might be...)
And thanks for the answer. :)

[Gay For Gadot]

“I’ve been professionally gay for like, a decade at this point, but even this is too lesbian for me.”

Don't worry, Ellie. I out-gay myself all the time.

Ellie was intrigued by that. She noticed Starlight being intrigued by that as well. That made her way, way more intrigued by that.

Count me in as also intrigued.

“I mean, most of those courtship rituals center around Home Depot, but still…”

Are you trying to kill me?

“It was actually pretty hot! I kept waiting for you to turn it into something more but you just didn’t!”

Y'know, the entire time I watched Road To Friendship, it felt almost like a couples' spat to me. It probably doesn't help that I once got into an argument with an ex I took camping, who was so worried about impressing me and my other friends that she neglected to tell me that she didn't like camping at all. She stayed home next time...

“But the closest thing I have to a marefriend is a HOUSEPLANT!” She practically sobbed. “I’m so… lonely…”

I'm dying RN

“It’s too bad you swore off that time travel stuff forever, huh?”

Starlight screamed.

Poor, poor Starlight. Something tells me she's gonna reconsider that...

This was insanely funny. I headcanon Starlight as a hopeless oblivious/obvious/useless lesbian/bisexual mare, especially when it comes to Trixie, so this was a joy to read. I'm not familiar with the human character, but her presence definitely added some great comedy and perspective. I also like that you don't use the word "lesbian" for the ponies; I've always thought it odd to apply a term with etymological roots in ancient Greece to a completely alien world.

I'll have to give the direct sequel to this a look now...

[Bicyclette]

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Senpai noticed me!
derpicdn.net/img/2019/6/23/2073211/thumb.gif

Are you trying to kill me?

I'm glad that one landed! I was afraid the culture had moved on in my absence. Last I checked the thing to do was cottages or mushrooms or something? I don't know, I really haven't been keeping up.

Y'know, the entire time I watched Road To Friendship, it felt almost like a couples' spat to me. It probably doesn't help that I once got into an argument with an ex I took camping, who was so worried about impressing me and my other friends that she neglected to tell me that she didn't like camping at all. She stayed home next time...

Honestly, every interaction between those two feels like a couple's spat! I mean, I wish some of my past arguments resolved as sweetly as this, music and all.

(Also I just noticed THIS later in that video. They knew!!!)

I'm dying RN

Poor Starlight can't even fill that void with cats like the rest of us! Mine is just as bad of a conversationalist but at least she cuddles with me when she feels like it.

This was insanely funny. I headcanon Starlight as a hopeless oblivious/obvious/useless lesbian/bisexual mare, especially when it comes to Trixie, so this was a joy to read. I'm not familiar with the human character, but her presence definitely added some great comedy and perspective.

I am so happy you liked it! And yeah, this story is meant to be a side scene in my, uh, own take on HiE with Ellie, which I don't even consider properly started yet, so I actually didn't expect this story to gain so much attention. My target audience for this lives in the future, where curious readers who want the full series follow the sequel box through this one-shot between two parts of a romance arc. I'm actually a bit embarrassed it got into the feature box at one point! Publishing this was less a deliberate act and more a desperate need to accouche after squeeing all day about my ships.

I also like that you don't use the word "lesbian" for the ponies; I've always thought it odd to apply a term with etymological roots in ancient Greece to a completely alien world.

Considering Pony Latin exists canonically, and Ponish is taking those word roots from somewhere, in my headcanon there was a Pony Greece and a Pony Rome speaking Pony Greek and Pony Latin at some point in the pre-Celestian age. So there could have been a Pony Sappho writing poetry on Pony Lesbos and we can still have those terms. But that's probably too silly.

I'll have to give the direct sequel to this a look now...

Oh no...

[MoonlightRift]

Couldn't get a grin off my face, good story.

[Gay For Gadot]

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Senpai noticed me!

Senpai? P'shaw. You flatter me.

I was afraid the culture had moved on in my absence. Last I checked the thing to do was cottages or mushrooms or something?

Apparently there's "cottagecore" and "countrycore" lesbians now, (of which I'm told I'm kind of the latter) but the majority of our courtship still circles around Home Depot and/or IKEA. And UHaul. Nice to see that some things haven't changed, right?

Honestly, every interaction between those two feels like a couple's spat! I mean, I wish some of my past arguments resolved as sweetly as this, music and all.

(Also I just noticed THIS later in that video. They knew!!!)

Oh man, All Bottled Up is one of my favorite episodes, Trixie's words at the end being a big part of that. So cute. And yes, I'm pretty sure the writers knew what they were doing with that line...

Poor Starlight can't even fill that void with cats like the rest of us! Mine is just as bad of a conversationalist but at least she cuddles with me when she feels like it.

Mine is more demanding than any girl I've ever dated. She doesn't liked to be picked up either.

Interesting that you wrote this side story before the main story to what you have planned, but I'd be lying if I said I never did something similar. I might have to check out your HiE then, because Ellie was pretty funny/unique here. Don't be embarrassed this got Featured, lol. The site needs more gay Starlight. Oh, and thanks for teaching me a new word (accouche).

So there could have been a Pony Sappho writing poetry on Pony Lesbos and we can still have those terms. But that's probably too silly.

Hmm, fair enough point.

Oh no...

Oh yes.

[Bicyclette]

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Apparently there's "cottagecore" and "countrycore" lesbians now, (of which I'm told I'm kind of the latter) but the majority of our courtship still circles around Home Depot and/or IKEA. And UHaul. Nice to see that some things haven't changed, right?

Considering those "jokes" already had a fine patina of age back when I was in my prime, wow, things really don't change! I just hope nobody has to watch The L Word anymore. Like, I've always hated that show. Even when there wasn't anything else I hated it.

Mine is more demanding than any girl I've ever dated. She doesn't liked to be picked up either.

Oh, mine is really weirdly tolerant of being picked up, but only by me. I like to balance her body on both my open palms and run around pretending she's an airplane, making whooshing noises with my mouth. Come to think of it, that makes her more tolerant of my antics than any girl I've ever dated. Hmm...

Interesting that you wrote this side story before the main story to what you have planned, but I'd be lying if I said I never did something similar. I might have to check out your HiE then, because Ellie was pretty funny/unique here.

I hope it doesn't disappoint, if you do! It runs 20k words total between 7 chapters now, and throughout I was trying to tamp down on my tendency to rant in view of trying to write for a general audience, though it leaked out a bit in the end. I really do hope you read the sequel story, though, which bridges the gap between what I have so far and this one.

Oh, and thanks for teaching me a new word (accouche).

Oh, not even sure if that counts as a word in English, I just couldn't bear to translate away the visceral feeling I get from using it. The bolus of air that gets ejected between the cc and the ch is a beautiful incarnation of the meaning of the word itself.

It's only shown up once in my stories so far, but Ellie and Rarity being terrible Francophiles is 100% based on the extent to which I am a terrible Francophile. Apologies in advance.

[Gay For Gadot]

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I just hope nobody has to watch The L Word anymore. Like, I've always hated that show. Even when there wasn't anything else I hated it.

Thankfully not. I could never get into it. All of the characters seemed insufferable. Now we have lots of other things to choose from, including the magical gay horses, of course.

I like to balance her body on both my open palms and run around pretending she's an airplane, making whooshing noises with my mouth.

I'm pretty sure I'd lose an eye/hand/something else important if I did that.

I'll definitely leave some comments on your HiE when I do read it. You'll know if I've read it because I comment on pretty much everything I read.

Oh, not even sure if that counts as a word in English, I just couldn't bear to translate away the visceral feeling I get from using it. The bolus of air that gets ejected between the cc and the ch is a beautiful incarnation of the meaning of the word itself.

Webster tells me it is, so that's good enough for me. And that's a really nice way of saying it's a pretty word. Can't say I disagree, even though I'm no Francophile.

[EdBoii]

Love how detailed the research was on this one. Headcanon assimilated.

[Bicyclette]

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Poor, poor Starlight. Something tells me she's gonna reconsider that...

Here are ten thousand words fresh from the word oven about that! But thinking through what it would take for Starlight to actually do this, in light of the fact that creating an entire new timeline through time travel just to have a second chance at a date would be too unethical to be able to root for, I ended up going through some pretty tragic and existential themes, so it's not fun in the same way as this story.

[Gay For Gadot]

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Added to Read It Later!

[Herald of Opera]

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I've always thought it odd to apply a term with etymological roots in ancient Greece to a completely alien world.

You mean like "pegasus"?