• Published 18th Nov 2020
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House of Owls and Ponies - Universal Librarian



Once upon a time, a gifted young alicorn tried to become a witch. Well, we all do stupid things from time to time.

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Chapter 3 - First Contact

"Hang on, you're human!" Twilight exclaimed.

The girl looked as if Hearth's Warming had come early. "Oh my gosh, you can talk!" She darted forward and slid on her knees, coming to a perfect stop inches away from a very startled purple princess. Even sitting on her heels, the girl was barely an inch shorter than Twilight. "Are you a Pegasus? Wait, you have a horn as well, does that make you a unicorn? A pegacorn? A unisus?"

She reached out with a hand, which Twilight gently pushed away with her hoof. "Actually, we're called alicorns. But how-"

Any further words were cut off as two hands smooshed her cheeks. "Oh, you're so cute! And you!" The girl darted to Luna. "You're so cute and dark and blue! You're like a cuddly little ball of night rolled up into a giant plushie!"

Luna tried to glare, but the blush on her cheeks ruined the effect slightly. "I am not a plushie."

"Awww, you're just like King!" Celestia giggled at her embarrassment, then bit back a yelp as the girl suddenly appeared in front of her. Celestia's height meant the girl had to stand to look her in the eye, but that didn't dampen her enthusiasm in the slightest. "And look at you! Cute, but majestic! Soft, but so strong! You're-"

"Charmed, I'm sure," Celestia interrupted, picking the girl up in her magic and plonking her back down at a distance less offensive to personal space. "My name is Celestia, and this is my little sister, Luna, and my close friend, Twilight. To answer your question, Twilight, this young lady isn't a human, she's a witch."

"Actually, I'm both!" The girl tapped her ears. Celestia realised with a jolt that they were small and round, utterly unlike the pointed protrusions witches had. Seeing her surprise, the girl grinned and threw her arms wide. "Behold, I am Luz the Human, witch-in-training!" She quickly stuffed a hand in her pocket and tossed out a handful of colourful shredded paper with a half-whispered, "Confetti!"

Celestia stared at her in mute shock. She had heard stories about humans before, from both Twilight and the legends of the Boiling Isles themselves, but she had never expected to actually meet one, let alone one that was training to be a witch. "How is this possible? Humans can't train to be witches, they don't even have magic?!"

"That's what's impossible?" Twilight exclaimed loudly. "What about the fact that we're still in pony form?! Why didn't the portal change us like the portal to CHS does?!"

Luz looked from one to the other of them curiously. "Well, to answer your question, my magic isn't normal," she said to Celestia. "You're right that humans don't have their own magic, but I found another way of casting spells. So far, I've learned two! As for yours..." She turned to Twilight and opened her mouth to say something, then closed it with an expression of mild confusion. "I have no idea. I don't know anything about portals, but I do know someone who does!"

"I don't know, this all seems fairly suspicious," Celestia said, giving Luz a scrutinising look. Her grey tunic was familiar, but Celestia couldn't quite put her hoof on why.

"I'm not suspicious at all!" Luz replied earnestly, though her face fell a second later. "The person I'm taking you to see on the other hand… uh…" She stared blankly into space for a moment as she thought. "I'm sure it'll be fine! Just make sure you keep your money safe, and be careful where you sit. Oh, and don't touch her staff."

"Who exactly is this person?" Luna asked.

"She's my mentor as a witch! She's… um…" Luz suddenly gave the three a suspicious look. "Are any of you part of the Emperor's Coven?"

"The Emperor's Coven still exists?" Luna asked in surprise.

Celestia sighed heavily. "Of course they do," she muttered sarcastically. Those glorified tyrants caused us all manner of grief when we first came here. It only makes sense that they'd still be around when we got back."

"So… not friendly with the Emperor's Coven, got it. You and Eda should get along just fine!" Luz said brightly. She turned away and gestured for the trio to follow. "Come on, I'll show you where we live!"

Luz scarpered towards the treeline, but stopped when she realised that the others weren't following. "Come on, it's this way!"

"What do you think, Luna?" Celestia asked quietly.

Luna shrugged. "We may as well follow her. She doesn't seem malicious herself, and her mentor should have more information about how things stand on the Isles these days. The fact that they're no friend of the Emperor's Coven works in our favour as well."

"I suppose that's true," Celestia agreed.

Twilight gave her a chiding look. "Aren't you the one who told me that I should try making friends in the first place? Why are you so suspicious?"

"Because the last time we were here, the magic of friendship did us very little good," Luna explained. "Mayhaps things have changed, but most of the inhabitants were more concerned with dominating and exploiting each other than helping each other. Keep your guard up."

"I'll be careful." Twilight started to trot after Luz, calling back over her shoulder as.she went, "But I'm still going to try and make as many friends as I can."

The two sisters shared a look that was half worried and half exasperated. "She's your former student," Luna said pointedly. "And that determination to find the best in creatures is why we made- ahem, let her take over Equestria in the first place."

Celestia sighed in defeat as the two of them followed Twilight and Luz.

Navigating through the trees, the small group finally came out into a wide clearing. The word 'house' was probably the closest fit for the building that dominated the clearing. It had white walls, grey slate roofing, and was dotted with stained glass windows of all different sizes, topped with a large circular one on the top floor that resembled an eye. For some bizarre reason, it also had a tower keep and stone walls around the back, as if it had been built around the ruins of a castle at some point.

An old woman was standing in front of the house, surrounded by heaped piles of trash. She had incredibly pale skin, a wild mess of thick grey hair, a long and heavily torn red dress with matching high-heeled boots, and, to Celestia's vague relief, the typical pointy ears of an ordinary witch. Unfortunately, she was clearly completely barking mad, as evidenced by the fact that she was engaged in a spirited argument with her own front door.

"Eda!" Luz waved as the witch turned around.

"Hey, Luz, I thought you didn't want to stay for the treasure sorting?" The witch grimaced as she spotted the alicorns. "Oh, for the- Luz, what have I told you about bringing weird creatures back here? Remember what happened with the barking toad?"

Luz held up her hands placatingly. "I remember! It's fine, I'm at least fifty percent sure that these ones won't explode and cover everything in deadly poisons. Besides, they were talking about portals so I figured you might be able to help them."

Taking that as her cue, Twilight stepped forward and placed a hoof on her chest. "Good afternoon, I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle."

Eda snorted loudly. "Seriously? What, was Queen Cutiepuff already taken?"

"It's nice to see that the Boiling Isles haven't changed much," Celestia muttered.

"And what are your names?" Eda asked Celestia and Luna with a snigger. "Candymane and Inkbutt?" She frowned as she took a closer at the pair. "Hold on a second… you two look familiar." She stared at them with a contemplative expression. "I don't owe you money, do I?"

"Not as far as we're aware," Celestia replied.

Eda nodded with a smile. "That's a relief. I was about to jump in the house and let Hooty deal with you."

"Yay! I'm being included!" A voice called out. Looking at the door, Celestia was surprised to see an owl's face embedded in it. The owl beamed as it realized that it was getting attention. "I like being included in conversations. Do you want to know if I owe anyone money?"

"You don't have any money to owe to anyone," Eda shot. "Now shut up, there's enough nutjobs in this gathering without you getting involved."

Twilight winced at the casual cruelty. "Uh, isn't that a little harsh? He only wants to- wah?!" She backed up a step as the owl face suddenly extended on a bizarre wooden tentacle until it was pressed up against her cheek."

"See? She gets me!" Hooty started wrapping his odd tentacle body around Twilight, rubbing his cheek against hers as he did so. "You're my new best friend! We're going to talk for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours-"

"Shut up, Hooty!" Eda slapped the tentacle, prompting Hooty to drop Twilight and retract himself, offering up a choice selection of irritated retorts until he was settled back in his door. "That's what you get for encouraging him," Eda said, planting her hands on her hips. "So, you want to learn about portals, huh?"

Celestia glanced at Twilight, who was still recovering from being assaulted by a living door. "Actually, Luna and I were hoping to learn a little about the current political and social climate of the Boiling Isles, if possible. It has been quite some time since we were last here."

"Luna?" Eda blinked in surprise. "Hold on a second, does that mean that you're Celestia?" Celestia's blood ran cold as Eda's eyes widened and she broke out into an ecstatic grin. "Now I know why you look familiar, they still have your old wanted posters in the Conformitorium! You're Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon! The Demon Sisters of Hexside!"