Worlds Apart: The Chosen of the Prognosticus

by GMBlackjack

Minion Secrets

Mimi was awoken by the sound of O’Chunks singing.

“Raise yer chunks in the air as the most debonair man strides into the room!
Sprinin’ forth from ‘is lair as ‘is foes all despair, for Bleck be the name o’ their doom!
Whooa-OH! That’s our Bleck! Blecky, Bleckity, DOOOOOOO!
Yeah, uh, somethin’ Bleck… That’s the guy who says… Wooo?”

That’s it, I’ve had it. Mimi Void-portaled to the central chamber, furious. “Gosh O’Chunks, Quit it! You’re breaking windows! What are you yelling about?”

Nastasia, the only other person in the central chamber at the moment, adjusted her glasses. “Oh, that? Yeah, I just had O’Chunks come up with a nice motivational tune. And as punishment for getting beat by those heroes again, I’m making him sing it a thousand times.”

“A… a thousand times!?” Mimi gawked. “Gosh, you’re more evil than I thought! ...Wait, didn’t O’Chunks lose a month ago?”

“It took him this long to come up with the lyrics.”

“Golly…” She shook her head, putting the disgusting thought of O’Chunks signing out of her mind. “Hey, but enough chatting! So, where’s the Count, huh? I wanna see him! He hasn’t called me to go do anything and I’m getting sooooo bored!”

“Your little vacation wasn’t enough?” Nastasia asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh…” Mimi blanked. “Uh…”

“Hey Count!?” Mr. L shouted like he owned the place, portaling in with a fanciful twirl. “My destructive little friend is all gassed up and itching to get back in action. Yes, Brobot is begging me to take him out. Say the word, and I’ll roll out.”

Nastasia shook her head. “Yeah, great enthusiasm, but let’s shelve the robot action plan for now, ‘K? The thing is, the Count kinda left specific orders for us to stand by. Got that?”

“No way!” Mimi folded her arms. “We’re just supposed to wait here for those big, mean heroes to come get us?”

Mr. L scratched his mustache thoughtfully. “So the Count doesn’t need my services? Excellent, I’ll just be off then.”

Nastasia stamped her foot on the ground. “You go nowhere! We wait! it’s the Count’s direct order! His word is absolute! Be a good little minion and do not move until told!”

Mimi and Mr. L stared at her in shock. O’Chunks was still exhausted from having sung too loud for too long.

“’K? Thanks.” Nastasia jumped off her platform. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to coordinate with Dark Oak on internal affairs.” She gracefully walked out of the central chamber, leaving the minions alone.

“But I’m booooooored!” Mimi whined now that Nastasia was well out of earshot.

Mr. L threw his hands into the air. “And Brobot craves his daily smash! I can’t just do that here. There’s no action!”

“Ah ha ha. Hard to stay still when you pine for sweet vengeance, isn’t it?” Dimentio popped into existence, floating a small ways above the other minions.

“Unbearable,” Mr. L growled.

Dimentio nodded, putting a hand to his chin. “Yes, the Count’s orders are all absolute… completely without exception. We shouldn’t even dare to think about a secret sneak attack. Perish the thought! Defeating the hero would please the Count greatly… but we must follow orders!”

Mr. L drummed his fingers against his outfit. “Yeaaah... Yeah, I’ve uh… got to go deflavorize the Brobot’s uh… Flavorizer. I’ll return once everything’s up to code.” He saluted. “L-ater, Dimentio!” With a burst of purple, he was gone.

Mimi was smart enough to realize that Dimentio was pushing her, but she didn’t care. Even if Dimentio reported her, she’d be able to take all the glory anyway! “…Oopsie I just remembered something real important that I gotta do! Back in a jiffy! Bye!” She teleported to the map room that contained all eight worlds, each represented by a black levitating sphere.

“Let’s see…” Mimi traced her finger around the black spheres, brow furrowing. “Hume… Mobius… Diqiu… Earth… Nine… ah, here we are!” She absorbed the dimensional coordinates into her part of the Void, grinning. Upon doing so, she got some very interesting information presented to her.

“Oooh! Those heroes sure are in for a surprise! MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!”

~~~

“Flavorizer?”

Mr. L almost screamed in panic at the sound of Lulu’s voice. He pretended to polish Brobot’s shoes. “Uh, yes, flavorizer.”

“Do tell, what does a flavorizer do?”

“Uh… flavorizes. Things. Yes.”

“You’re just going to go give those heroes a metal sandwich.”

Mr. L twirled his mustache. “What would you say if I told you I was?”

“I would say I’m coming with you.” She rolled up her sleeves. “Anywhere without that bloody lion.”

“Sounds-a good to me!”

“And this time, we go directly to the robot attack plan. No trying to look fancy beforehand.”

“All right, all right, we’ll do that.” Mr. L flipped a lever to turn Brobot on. “We leave immediately, ma’am.”

Brobot’s nose fell to the ground.

“Er… we leave as soon as I fix that!”

“Do hurry.” Lulu folded her arms. “I’m not in a patient mood today.”

Comments

[Shilic]

Mimi was awoken by the sound of O’Chunks singing.

“Raise yer chunks in the air as the most debonair man strides into the room!
Sprinin’ forth from ‘is lair as ‘is foes all despair, for Bleck be the name o’ their doom!
Whooa-OH! That’s our Bleck! Blecky, Bleckity, DOOOOOOO!
Yeah, uh, somethin’ Bleck… That’s the guy who says… Wooo?”

Wooooo! Encore, encore!

Nastasia, the only other person in the central chamber at the moment, adjusted her glasses. “Oh, that? Yeah, I just had O’Chunks come up with a nice motivational tune. And as punishment for getting beat by those heroes again, I’m making him sing it a thousand times.”

“A… a thousand times!?” Mimi gawked. “Gosh, you’re more evil than I thought! ...Wait, didn’t O’Chunks lose a month ago?”

“It took him this long to come up with the lyrics.”

I love this way of reconciling the canon minion look-in with this story's timeline of events. Brilliant.

Dimentio nodded, putting a hand to his chin. “Yes, the Count’s orders are all absolute… completely without exception. We shouldn’t even dare to think about a secret sneak attack. Perish the thought! Defeating the hero would please the Count greatly… but we must follow orders!”

God, he's such a rascally trickster. That's why we love him.

“Let’s see…” Mimi traced her finger around the black spheres, brow furrowing. “Hume… Mobius… Diqiu… Earth… Nine… ah, here we are!” She absorbed the dimensional coordinates into her part of the Void, grinning. Upon doing so, she got some very interesting information presented to her.

Excuse me Mimi, there are very explicitly only eight worlds, I have no idea where you got Nine from. See me after class.

“Flavorizer?”

Mr. L almost screamed in panic at the sound of Lulu’s voice. He pretended to polish Brobot’s shoes. “Uh, yes, flavorizer.”

“Do tell, what does a flavorizer do?”

“Uh… flavorizes. Things. Yes.”

On one hand, following up the joke kinda ruins it. On another... I really love this joke so it's fine, it can stay.

Minion look-in time! Dimentio's up to his usual tricks, Mimi's off to cause a surprise, and Lulu is teaming up with Mr. L for double L-action! Hopefully the heroes can keep up... Also, O'Chunks is singing. Good for him.

[furryman]

Now with extra flavor!