Vivian led them through Rogueport. Simply by having her in the group, the city’s attitude toward them changed. Instead of looking at them like strangers that needed to be bullied out of the city, the citizens of Rogueport nodded to them in respect, though not in any sort of friendly manner in most cases.
“It sure appears as though you are well known,” Caspian said.
Vivian put a finger to her chin. “Well… I did help end a great evil. The whole city knows about the story at this point, so I’m a little safer than most. I also know the Piantas, and, with a little bit of dark magic, I can convince them to leave you alone if you need to stay.”
“Dark… magic?” Caspian seemed concerned.
“Of course! You didn’t think this body was just for show, did you?” She struck a pose that accentuated her curves and blew a kiss in his direction.
Caspian tensed. “Forgive me, dear Vivian, but I do have a Queen.”
“Oh!” Vivian’s confidence collapsed like a house of cards. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t know and of course I wouldn’t want to ever even think of…”
Caspian raised a hand. “You had no way to know. Let us move on with our quest.”
“O-okay…”
“I wouldn’t try flirting with Data either,” Toph said.
“Is he married as well…?” Vivian asked.
“That bucket of bolts? Hah! No, he just can’t feel emotions. He’d be so utterly clueless it’d be impossible for him to pick anything up.”
“I am not entirely hopeless in romantic situations,” Data pointed out. “I am fully functional and well-versed in the theory.”
“I see what you mean,” Vivian nodded to Toph.
“Utterly clueless,” Toph agreed. “Makes it all the more awkward for Twilight, you know.”
“Oh, it does?”
Twilight sputtered, blushing slightly. “T-toph! Data is a valued member of this team and an absolutely amazing machine and brilliant mind. H-he is not…”
Data stared at her incredulously, cocking his head.
“Uh…”
“Think of it!” Toph said, spreading her arms wide. “You’d be perfect for each other! The genius wizard of friendship and the android who wants to be human! C’mon, tell me there isn’t chemistry there!”
Cosmo scratched her chin. “You know what, I could see it…”
Tippi joined in. “They do talk about science all the time.”
“You don’t know the half of it!” Toph grinned. “When I was brooding in Narnia, she and Data were sitting on logs just outside the campfire together talking deep philosophy. That’s a dork’s romantic dream, right?”
“Oooh!” Tippi giggled.
“You know, Toph,” Cosmo giggled, “I didn’t take you for a wingman.”
“Friends, friends,” Caspian said, laying a hand on Twilight’s back. “Let’s back off a bit, shall we? As good fun as it is to fluster one another, we do have a job to do, and it would not reflect on us well if our leader were walking around with a permanent embarrassed flush on her face.”
Twilight shot Caspian a look.
“...I am afraid I do not understand everything that is transpiring,” Data said. “Am I supposed to infe—”
“Not now, Data,” Twilight and Caspian said at the same time.
Data cocked his head but remained silent.
Vivian let out a giggle that pierced the silence. “I can already tell I’m going to love it with all of you. It always seems to be a band of random crazy people who save the world.”
“Agreed,” Toph said. “...Wait, who here hasn’t been part of a motley crew that saved the world before?”
“Um… just me,” Tippi said. “The rest of you were already heroes before this…”
“And you’re the one who brings us together,” Cosmo reminded her. “Don’t sell yourself short.”
“I don’t think I’ll have a problem with that anymore,” Tippi said. “...Vivian, how much longer until we arrive?”
Vivian pointed at a nearby house. “That’s where Professor Frankly lives. He might be able to help us.” She knocked on the door. “Helloooo!” she sang.
A gruff voice came from within the building. “Go away, I’m busy cross-referencing ancient breeds of mushroom to the modern strains!”
“But Professor, it’s Vivian! And I’ve got a bunch of heroes looking to save the world!”
“Again!?”
“Yep!”
The door flew open, revealing one of the short, two-legged creatures. This particular specimen had gray hair, wrinkles, and crazy glasses with swirled manufacturing imperfections in the lenses. “Well, get in here! Tell me your story so I can figure out how little I know!” He let out a half-mad laugh and waddled back behind his desk.
Everyone crowded into the small house that was filled with shelves upon shelves of ancient books, disheveled pieces of paper, and maps spread over every nook and cranny. It was a mess, but Twilight recognized it as an organized mess—reminding her of her old library in the midst of a mad study session.
“Well you’re all certainly a motley crew,” Frankly said, looking all of them over. “I don’t recognize half of your species!”
Twilight smirked, getting a feeling that this would be fun—and a welcome change of pace from the previous conversation. “I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle. That’s Tippi, Toph, Cosmo, Commander Data, and King Caspian. We’re not from this world.”
“WHAT!?” Frankly shouted loud enough to drop Toph, Cosmo, and Caspian to the ground. “Another world!?”
“Several different worlds, actually,” Twilight continued, enjoying watching Frankly’s jaw hang open even wider. “I’m from Equis. There’s also Flipside, Diqiu, Mobius, Hume, Narnia…”
“Egads… You must have something to do with the darkness in the sky!”
Vivian nodded. “Yes, Professor. They call it… the Void.”
Twilight took in a deep breath. “It was created by a dark creature by the name of Count Bleck who wishes to destroy all worlds.”
Frankly gasped. “DESTROY ALL WORLDS!?” Caspian had just finished standing back up when the shout hit and was soon down on the ground again. “Great galloping goombas, that’s worse than everything! Ever!”
“No kidding,” Toph muttered, cleaning out her ears.
“We are the prophesied heroes, destined to stop this evil atrocity,” Cosmo said. “We have been traveling the worlds, looking for the Pure Hearts, artifacts of love and reality that can oppose its power.”
“Pure Heart?” Frankly started jumping up and down.
“You’ve heard of it?” Data asked.
“By the great toe fungus, I have!” He ran over to a shelf and picked up a book in his mouth, dropping it on his main desk. “Ever since the Void appeared, I’ve been researching all I could about dark magics and shadows. I even asked Vivian to drop by in case her nature could help. And together, we found this…” He flipped through the pages, arriving at a picture of a woman of darkness reaching her hands around the world. Her image visibly upset Vivian and greatly unsettled Twilight—this woman’s darkness was filled with stars, reminding her of Count Bleck’s cape. However, the image also provided a distant sense of hope; in the center, there was a gleaming heart holding the darkness back.
“What are we looking at?” Toph asked. “Please, tell me, I have no idea.”
“This is the Shadow Queen,” Frankly said.
“The Shadow Queen?” Data cocked his head. “We found evidence of her activities on Hume in ancient times.”
“WHAT!?” Frankly bounced back. “She was an interdimensional interloper!?”
“Could you not?” Toph snapped.
“Not what?”
“I… Ugh, never mind.” Toph said, massaging her forehead.
Data leaned down to investigate the book. “It appears she was in this universe as well.”
“She was stuck in this universe,” Frankly said. “Imprisoned beneath the earth until recently.”
“And now?”
Frankly turned to Vivian. “Vivian, the legendary hero Mario, and several others destroyed her.”
“Y-yes,” Vivian said, nodding. “We did. We saved the world!”
“She looks kind of like you,” Cosmo observed.
“I… yes.” Vivian sagged. “She was my mother.”
Twilight put a calming wing on Vivian. “The mistakes of our families do not define us.”
“I… I know.” Vivian shook her head, a smile returning to her face. “And she’s gone now, so she can’t hurt us. This is all ancient history.”
“Quite,” Frankly said. “Anyway, in this one book, there is mention that when she first tried to conquer the world with darkness, there was one thing that held her back: a brilliant spark of love.”
“She could not defeat it,” Data summarized as he read. “So she threw it into the stars…”
“We already knew it was off-planet,” Tippi said, fluttering closer. “I can’t sense it’s direction, so it has to be far away.”
“But we have no way to know where,” Twilight said. “For all we know, it could be a different universe she threw it into.”
“No,” Tippi said. “It’s in this one. I know that much.”
“Still, it could be cleverly hidden… she has the same stars as Count Bleck did.” Twilight traced her wingtip across the page. “Maybe she had the power of the Void as well.”
“Do you think she used the Dark Prognosticus?” Tippi asked.
“The… the Dark…” Vivian drifted away from the book. “That’s…”
“What is it, my dear?” the Professor asked.
“My sister… she said something about that, once.” Vivian shivered. “It terrified her.”
Twilight turned to Vivian, her face serious. “Then we might need to see your sister. Is that… okay?”
“Yes, yes, she’s… fine, these days, but… it’s not a pleasant memory.”
“Where is she now?”
“She told me she was on Delfino Island, taking a vacation.”
“Then that’s where we’re going,” Twilight said. “Data, call the Enterprise, ask them to pick us up.”
“I’m sure I can get you a boat ride easily,” Frankly offered.
“Thank you, Professor,” Data said. “But this will be faster.” He tapped his communicator.
~~~
Captain’s Log, Stardate 47932.9
The planet below has no warp-capable civilization and no Pure Heart, so we’re turning our gaze outward. Unfortunately, this has proven difficult, as gravity itself does not appear to follow the laws of physics as we know them. Most of the Enterprise’s systems are fully operational—with the notable exception of the transporters—but I am hesitant to engage the warp drive, and it isn’t because it was recently disabled.
I’m just concerned we’ll run into something the moment we try moving.
~~~
Picard stared at the image on the screen in disbelief. Flat worlds, he could accept—those just followed entirely different rules. Worlds with magic, that was fine, many entities they had encountered in Hume could be considered magic to many eyes.
But this was too much.
Planets and moons flitted across Picard’s screen. Most of them were no larger than a house, and yet they interacted with each other as if they had full Earth gravity—for the most part. Some appeared to be flat earth-style constructions, while still others had inverted gravity or miniature black holes in the center. And yet, somehow, all this chaos didn’t create a cascading effect of destruction.
The galaxy had normal stars and planets, and even a regular moon, but it also had these ridiculous things everywhere.
“Analysis?” Picard asked.
Tails shrugged. “I don’t like it either, Captain.”
“Are you telling me there’s no rhyme, reason, or pattern to this?”
“Not that the computer or I can tell.”
Picard put a hand to his forehead, letting out a sigh. “We’ll have to take it slow. Impulse only for the foreseeable future. And—”
“Incoming distress call,” Worf said, pressing a few buttons on his console. “One light-year away.”
“What kind of signal?” Picard asked.
“Subspace transmission, similar to our own. It is the only one I am detecting on any frequency.”
“And so we are the only ship in range, naturally…” Picard nodded. “Tails, plot a course, but fly carefully. Jump to warp if you believe it is safe to do so.”
“It’ll take a while for us to get there,” Tails said.
“All the more reason we can’t afford to waste time. Engage. Mr. Worf, keep a constant tactical scan active in case this is some kind of trap, but don’t raise shields until you’re sure we’re being attacked.”
“Aye, sir,” Worf reported.
Tails waved the Enterprise through a series of orbiting vortexes similar to black holes, finding an area of space that was relatively empty. He jumped to warp three for a few seconds before pulling back, banking away from a miniature blue star with glass-like cubes orbiting it.
“Fascinating…” Picard said, shaking his head. “Nothing like this would be possible in our world.”
“It must be a nightmare to run equations for all this,” Tails said, scratching his head.
“I can imagine,” Riker agreed.
“Data to Enterprise,” Data’s voice came in over the comm.
“Go ahead, Data,” Picard said.
“We request transport to another island on the surface of the planet.”
“I’m afraid transporters aren’t functional and we’re currently responding to a distress call. I’m afraid you’re on your own for the time being.”
“Ah. Then we shall procure local transport. I wish you luck, Captain.”
“You too. Picard out.” Picard shook his head. “What a time to get a distress call. Worf, is there any response?”
“None, sir. The call may be automated.”
Picard sat back down. “Some things never change between universes.”
“What do you mean?” Tails asked.
“We answer a lot of distress calls,” Riker explained. “About a third of them end up being a trap of some kind.”
“Oh. That has to be annoying.”
“It is very inconvenient.”
~~~
The ship they had procured was a small steamboat piloted by the same race as Professor Frankly—a race called goombas, as Twilight had been recently informed. How the pilot managed to steer the ship without hands or even adaptable limbs was beyond Twilight, but she decided it wasn’t worth it to ask questions at the moment. Instead, she stood on the prow of the ship, letting the sea air blow through her mane. Out here, she could take her deep breath and enjoy the salty refreshment of the ocean without gagging on the scent of nearby trash.
She was actually glad the Enterprise had been occupied, since otherwise this journey would have been over far too quickly. There would have been no time to appreciate the vast, open sea so similar and yet so different from the oceans of her home.
“I always long for the sea,” Caspian said, walking up to the railing with her. “When I was younger, I took my prized ship, the Dawn Treader out into the world in hopes that I would find the lost friends of my father. Some I found, others I found dead—but it was still an amazing journey to the end of the world. I made many close friends on that ship.”
“And now you’re on a ship with close friends,” Twilight said. “A voyage to a vacation resort on a distant world.”
“So many fanciful beings in this world,” Caspian said. “So unlike anything I’ve ever imagined. I thought the races of Narnia were varied, but I am delighted to be proven wrong.”
“Even with Vivian?”
Caspian’s smile faltered slightly. “Her essence… makes me uneasy.”
“Not all born in darkness must remain there, you should know that,” Twilight said.
“I am aware, and she seems amiable enough. However, her magic is undeniably dark.”
“I know dark magic too,” Twilight pointed out. “Does that make you think less of me?”
“You… You do!?”
Twilight nodded, closing her eyes and touching a spark inside her that she rarely prodded. Dark, purple wisps of miasma drifted out of the corner of her eyes, and her horn sparkled with a noxious green dotted with purple blobs. The spell erupted from her horn in a burst of harsh lightning, creating a crystal in midair that screamed with a haunting melody. It twisted in the air a few times before shattering into a million pieces, each piece shooting at a piece of flotsam nearby. Every shard exploded on contact, destroying the target.
Caspian stared at it in shock.
Twilight’s eyes returned to normal. “I rarely use it… it fills my spirit with disgust. But it’s not inherently evil, just more chaotic and destructive. Creatures born in it don’t feel the same unease I do, and would be a lot more comfortable using it all the time.”
“Dark magic is only supposed to be for the Hags and the Witch and…”
“Maybe that’s the way it is in your world,” Twilight said. “It’s not the same out here. Each world’s magic is different, just as each world’s rules are different.”
“Hmm…” Caspian gripped the railing of the ship. “I am unsure. But I know for certain that you have a pure, honest heart and that Aslan called to you when he sent us out to this world. So I will follow you for his sake, no matter my reservations.”
“That’s… something, I guess. Try to keep an open mind, Caspian, okay?”
“I shall make the attempt.”
At the back of the ship, Toph slammed her fist into her palm. “And then I launched him into orbit!”
“Doubtful,” Data said. “You do not have the energy outpu—”
Vivian nudged him. “Let her tell it, I like it this way.”
“Girl understands a good story,” Toph said with a chuckle. “So, anyway, I guess we’re going to have to ignore the orbit part, and instead talk about how I made myself armor out of metal!”
Cosmo gasped. “You didn’t…”
“I did! I crashed into the door and wrapped it around myself, laying waste to those firebending losers! It was great!”
“Let’s be clear,” Vivian said. “They weren't losers because they were firebenders, right?”
Toph paused. “Uh… what?”
Vivian lit a fire on the tip of her finger and tilted her hat back slightly.
“Oh! Of course not, I’ve known some pretty cool firebenders in my time. ...Though most of them did try to kill me at some point.”
“You were fighting in a war against them,” Cosmo pointed out.
“Well… yeah that explains it.” Toph cleared her throat. “But back to storytime! Otherwise known as ‘Toph is Awesome’ Time!”
From the front of the ship, Twilight chuckled. “They seem to be getting along well.”
Caspian nodded. “A good sign. Our bond will need to be strong to face what lies ahead.”
As the ship drifted onward, the beautiful sunlit sky began to abate as they passed into a field of fog. The moisture began to cling to Twilight’s fur, making her decidedly uncomfortable. “Ugh, why fog?”
Caspian raised an eyebrow. “This is the ocean, Twilight. Fog is a normal part of the journey.”
“I know. I don’t have to like it, though.”
“Stupid fog!” Toph called. “You’re ruining the mood of my story!”
Vivian lit a fire at the tip of her fingers. “Then maybe switch it to a spooooky one.”
“You should be the one to tell a spooky story,” Cosmo said.
“Oh, uh, I guess it would fit…” Vivian cleared her throat. “So, back before I was on Mario’s side, my sisters and I visited this place called Twilight Town. The sun never set there, and there was an evil curse that was slowly turning the townspeople into pigs…”
The voyage continued. People mingled, told stories, and played games. However, the longer they sailed, the thicker and thicker the fog got, until Twilight couldn’t see all the way across the boat.
“By Celestia, this is thick.” Twilight jumped down to the rest of the deck, where Cosmo and Data were playing cards. Data was winning.
“How are you so good at this?” Cosmo asked, fidgeting with her cards.
“I played with the crew of the Enterprise almost every week,” Data said. “I have learned many strategies for betting and bluffing.”
“Data, can you still see through this fog?” Twilight asked.
“Not much further than you can,” Data said.
“And I’m useless!” Toph called. “Few feet out into the water and then I’ve got nothing.”
“Hmm… Tippi?”
Tippi fluttered upward. “It is thicker than it should be.”
Data nodded. “I’ll be on guard. If anything approaches, I will be aw—”
“OoooooOOOOooooOOOoo…” a voice came from all directions, setting Twilight’s hair on end.
“We’re gonna be turned into pigs!” Toph shouted.
“Show yourself, fiend!” Caspian said, drawing his sword.
“You foooooOOOoooools…” the voice called. “You sail intoooOOOoooo my waters…”
“It was unintentional!” Twilight called. “We’re just on our way to Delfino!”
“Hoping for a vacation? Well… too bad!”
From her position near the edge of the ship, Twilight saw another ship composed of black wood appear from the fog, waving a jolly roger in their face. It physically rammed them, tipping the tiny ship to the side. As everyone was drawing their weapons and readying their spells, the black ship’s canons erupted, tearing through the tiny ship with ease. Twilight went flying, barely able to flap fast enough to keep herself from crashing into the water.
“Hahahahah!” the suddenly-a-lot-less-ethereal voice called from the dark ship. “You have fallen!” Several dozen sparks of blue fire appeared both on the dark ship and on their sinking craft, every flame carrying with it sharp yellow eyes. The voice itself manifested as a massive skull wearing a pirate hat that floated just in front of their prow. Vertebrae slid together behind the head, forming a snake-like body with several arms, all of which held a different blade of fine craftsmanship.
Twilight took a step back from the skeletal monstrosity. “Wh…”
The skeleton pirate laughed. “Surrender yourselves to me, the great pirat—”
“CORTEZ!” Vivian shouted at the top of her lungs, rising out of the water below.
“Wait, Vivian?” Cortez dropped his weapons and stared at the shadowy woman. “What are you doing out here?”
“Sailing to Delfino! Why’d you attack us?”
“I’m a pirate! I capture ships and treasure! What do you think I was doing?”
Vivian put her hands on her hips. “Well, it was very inconsiderate.”
“How was I supposed to know you were on board?”
“Asking?”
“I’m a legendary ghost pirate! I don’t ask!”
Caspian lowered his sword. “Do you… know each other?”
“You could say that,” Vivian admitted. “We’re old friends from back when I was with Mario. He helped us get around the world and fought off a ship full of technology-obsessed creeps.”
“Best battle I’ve ever had!” Cortez declared, laughing. “Good times, good times.”
“Now, Cortez…”
“Yes, Vivian?”
Vivian dropped her smile and shouted at him. “You’re taking us to Delfino Island to make up for all this!” She gestured at the sinking ship she was standing on.
“But I’m on a plundering voyage!”
“You should have thought about that before you attacked us.”
“But I… You can’t… I… ugh, fine! All of you get on my ship, I’ll take you to Delfino. I’ve been meaning to enjoy the refreshments myself eventually, anyway.”
One of the blue flames glared at Cortez with a “seriously?” expression.
“I’m the Captain, and I’m saying we’re going to Delfino! Plot a course! And get rid of this awful fog, it’s terrible for enjoying the ocean scenery.”
In an instant, the skies were clear and the sun was shining down on them once more.
Their ship was still sinking, though, so they couldn’t stand and appreciate it for long. They all crawled onto Cortez’s ship and sailed off to Delfino Isle with a bunch of ghost pirates.
...Stranger things have happened.
… Can they learn new things?
This is adorable. I love it.
Am I allowed to ship this yet? Because you're making it real hard to not ship it...
Based on the wide variety of mushrooms that exist in this world, many of which appear to be sapient, magical, or both, this is probably way more interesting than it sounds.
It's basically every second Tuesday around here. On the off weeks we play extreme board games and drive go-karts.
Oh hey, look, it's a payoff to that plot setup! And, you know, payoff to the rest of TTYD's plot, which provides basically no answers whatsoever, as is traditional.
Legendary hero? checks notes Uh... no, we're out of slots. Welp. I'm sure he'll find something else to do in the meantime. Maybe take a vacation? His last one kinda got... derailed.
Is this canon? I can't remember if this is definitively stated in the game or not.
Oh? What's this? Is this... connective tissue between TTYD and Super Paper Mario's plots? Has the fated day finally come to pass? The day all Paper Mario fans have long since dreamed of...
You'd think Tails would recognize 3D platforming segments when he sees them. Then again, Sonic stages aren't usually quite so... chaotic. I guess Lost World, kinda? But even that doesn't really capture the sheer cosmic absurdity of Super Mario Galaxy, and it's levels that clearly are not galaxies, why are they called that, they are star systems AT BEST
It does, however, create material for a lot of very interesting episodes.
Same way they play baseball, obviously.
Oh right, Twilight can do that. I kinda forgot about that. Pretty sure the show did too.
I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that Caspian immediately starts to doubt Twilight just because she has the potential to use dark magic. I get the feeling this guy is so used to black and white morality that the idea of dark forces being used by good people just doesn't compute with him.
Those card games were one of the best parts of the show. I know they were conceived to fill time in shorter scripts, but I love them anyway.
Oh hey, it's that guy!
He makes a fair point.
You know, after how heavy the last chapter was, it's nice having this light hearted silliness. The weird and wacky world of Mario is full of all kinds of goofy things, after all.
Not too much to say here; our heroes are on their way to Delfino, a place I wish we'd see reappear in a future Mario game, and the Enterprise is chasing a distress call in the depths of the Super Mario Galaxy. Everyone seems to be getting along well, excepting Caspian's reservations towards the Shadow Siren which, while kind of unfair, is understandable from his perspective. Also, set up for important plot stuff that is very exciting, mainly because it's something that extends out of the world of this story and into the actual Super Paper Mario itself. But in what way? I guess we'll just have to find out...
And programmed in a number of... techniques.
Funny how that works.
(Laughs in SMG near-stable orbits.)
It is the Enterprise.
Wait, how can she even tell? Increased moisture levels?
The Mushroom Planet is a strange and wondrous place. They should be grateful that the giant photorealistic fan from the later Paper Mario games didn't show up to clear the fog. Twilight would be trying to figure that one out for days...
This seems like a great story. I wonder how Twilight will react to Count Bleck's genuinely tragic and nihilistic backstory, his kindness towards his minions, and his willingness to die for his sins, as well as Dimentio's more evil nature. Sorry, I'm just so curious and excited for that.
When they find out Vivian is actually a boy, I wonder how they will react XD, unless GMBlackjackis using the american censored version of vivian, that potrais her as a girl, so which is it?
I really hope this distress call leads the Enterprise to the Comet Observatory, if only because I'm desperate for Rosalina content after finally 100 percenting Galaxy for the first time.
...shut up I didn't get it on the Wii until like 2011 and even once I got it on the Switch I'm not good at the prankster comets
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Or I could just do what I think Vivian herself would want and... not comment on it?
-GM, master of comments.
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They will have to know eventually, if their worlds are to be united as it appears to be the trend in the story, though you could not put it in the story during the adventures, it may happen offscreen during or after the adventures XD.
Ah, the Mario universe. So many beautiful and wacky things. A shame Sonic is still running around Narnia, I imagine he’d have quite a bit to find on this planet. I also figure someone might want to tell Mario where his brother has gone. I figured he’d be rather concerned about Luigi being captured and brainwashed.
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Exactly, why does everyone think that kinda stuff is such a gigantic deal that needs to be brought up for no reason pertaining to the plot?
I can't read this without a laugh, for the fic and for the memories of Rangy and Eric let's play
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"actually" a boy? kinda a cringe thing to say tbh. she is a girl
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I remember Chuggaconroy's Let's play of the Thousand year Door. Good times.