Worlds Apart: The Chosen of the Prognosticus

by GMBlackjack

Minion Prophecy

Nastasia cleared her throat, addressing the meeting of the minions. Not a single one was absent. “Yeah, so, guys? Huddle up, ‘K? We’re just gonna have a quick new-minion orientation.” She gestured to the new pillar where their fresh recruit was. “His name is Mr. L and he comes to us from one of our key competitors.”

“Thanks for the introduction!” Mr. L snapped his fingers at Nastasia and winked. “Now, let’s see here…” He glanced at the other minions in the room, scratching his chin. “Mmm... Can’t say I’m impressed by the minion quality… No, indeed. No wonder you’ve been trounced up to now. You’re like junior minions.”

O’Chunks stomped the ground several times in an ape-like rage. “Junior?! C’mere an’ I’ll introduce yeh to Fist Jr. an’ his wee pal, Slappie!”

Mr. L snorted. “Really? All you are is a hunk of stretchy muscle that belongs in a monkey museum!”

“Why I outta…”

Mr. L was already bored with him, turning to Dark Oak. “And you’re way overselling that brooding robot persona of yours. I know you’re a big softy inside, literally.”

“Need I remind you who provides the material for your joke of a machine?” Dark Oak seethed.

“Brobot is not a joke!”

“No. You are.”

“Whatever, this conversation is already boring me.” He turned to Mimi. “And you! You have all the power of a shapeshifter and you use it for childish dreams! Such a waste!”

Mimi tilted her head exactly ninety degrees with a sickening crack. “Gosh, Mr. L, but didn’t you get pretty spanked too? So maybe you’re the junior minion!”

“Spanked, you say? Ho ho! I was scouting him, dear. He will be mine next time.” He struck a pose with his arms, forming an L-shape. “Yes, he shall know the fury of the one and only Mr. L, AKA the Green Thunder!” He dropped the pose. “But enough about me... I need to head to the repair bay for Robot modifications.”

“Aww, nothing to say about little ol’ me?” Dimentio asked.

“Eh, you’re all right.” Mr. L said. “L-ater!” He jumped so high he hit the ceiling, diving toward the ground like a seabird.

The moment he was completely gone, Count Bleck’s smile grew. “Ahem. ‘Though the Princess of Magic will wield formidable powers, one shall stand against her. The Man in Green shall use the Chaos Heart’s power to bring darkness to all.’ Bleh hehehehehehehehe… So it is written in the Dark Prognosticus.”

Dimentio chuckled. “So what you’re saying is, the ‘Man in Green’ is our minion-in-training, Mr. L?”

“What!?” O’Chunks grabbed his head with both his hands and growled. “That makes as much sense as a beef an’ broccoli sandwich!”

“I agree,” Mimi said. “He’s an idiot. He can’t be what you say he is!”

“See? The lass agrees with me! Wait…” O’Chunks scratched his chin. “That never happens…”

“Enough about Mr. L,” Count Bleck declared. “He is a fellow minion and you should all treat him as such. O’Chunks, make ready. Count Bleck is sending you on a new mission.”

“Ah, now that makes sense!” O’Chunks pointed at himself and broke into a hearty guffaw. “It’ll be me honor, Count! I, O’Chunks, swear to you… These heroes have got a hot date with me feet! Chunks away!”

As he jumped down, Dimentio let out a soft chuckle. “My, aren’t we hot blooded? Well, well… I suppose that’s to be admired… Lulu, my dear mumbler, you’ve been awfully quiet today.”

Lulu didn’t even look at him when he addressed her.

“Ah well, brood if you wish. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I've got to be on my way as well. Ciao!” He snapped his fingers, popping into nothing.

“I’ll be tending to the machines,” Dark Oak said. “Lulu, I do not trust his assessment of the ‘Brobot’s’ performance, I request your presence.”

“Sure,” she said, breathlessly. She and Dark Oak vanished into Void portals.

Mimi crossed her arms. “So poor little Mimi doesn’t get to be in on the fun? This stinks.” She jumped into a portal of her own, going who knew where.

Nastasia took a few moments to make sure the room was empty before turning back to the Count. “Yeah, I hate to seem like a whistle-blower here, but O’Chunks may not… Actually, even O’Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, Lulu, Dark Oak, and Mr. L may not be up to this… They’re gonna collect the Pure Hearts and come here. They’ll come for you.”

“Bleh heh heh heh heh…” The Count pulled his hat down over his eyes. “All is going according to plan, Count Black assures you.”

Nastasia twisted her hands around one of her wrists. “It’s strange… Nobody ever, um, cherished the universe the way you once did… And yet, you’ve been made to destroy it…”

“That’s quite enough… Nastasia.”

Nastasia quieted down, looking at the floor. She spoke with barely more than a whisper. “If I could, um, I…”

“You’d what?” Bleck asked.

Nastasia only shook her head. “If only I could have, y’know, been that girl… Things would have been different…”

Bleck turned away from her sharply, voice becoming eerily monotone. “She cannot be replaced. You could never hope to do so, Nastasia.”

Nastasia swallowed hard. “Yeah, um, I’m very sorry. That just… slipped out.”

“To be sure… She is gone. Gone from all worlds, never to return…” Count Bleck vanished into the Void, leaving Nastasia alone. She didn’t move for the longest time.

Comments

[Ri2]

Poor Nastasia.

[Shilic]

“Thanks for the introduction!” Mr. L snapped his fingers at Nastasia and winked. “Now, let’s see here…” He glanced at the other minions in the room, scratching his chin. “Mmm... Can’t say I’m impressed by the minion quality… No, indeed. No wonder you’ve been trounced up to now. You’re like junior minions.”

Okay, rude. Accurate, but rude.

“Need I remind you who provides the material for your joke of a machine?” Dark Oak seethed.

“Brobot is not a joke!”

“No. You are.”

Dark Oak does not put up with buffoonery. His loss.

“Spanked, you say? Ho ho! I was scouting him, dear. He will be mine next time.” He struck a pose with his arms, forming an L-shape. “Yes, he shall know the fury of the one and only Mr. L, AKA the Green Thunder!” He dropped the pose. “But enough about me... I need to head to the repair bay for Robot modifications.”

“Aww, nothing to say about little ol’ me?” Dimentio asked.

“Eh, you’re all right.” Mr. L said. “L-ater!” He jumped so high he hit the ceiling, diving toward the ground like a seabird.

Mr. L has good taste.

“What!?” O’Chunks grabbed his head with both his hands and growled. “That makes as much sense as a beef an’ broccoli sandwich!”

Does that... not make sense? That seems like a reasonable food combination to me.

Nastasia only shook her head. “If only I could have, y’know, been that girl… Things would have been different…”

Bleck turned away from her sharply, voice becoming eerily monotone. “She cannot be replaced. You could never hope to do so, Nastasia.”

Nastasia swallowed hard. “Yeah, um, I’m very sorry. That just… slipped out.”

“To be sure… She is gone. Gone from all worlds, never to return…” Count Bleck vanished into the Void, leaving Nastasia alone. She didn’t move for the longest time.

Ah... Bleck. I love these little moments. He's such a great villain. So is Nastasia.

More minion catchups, this time with the legend himself. Bleck's put together a band of legendary villains in their own right to challenge the heroes. Let's hope the final hero can tip the scales a little more in their favor.

[FanOfMostEverything]

“Need I remind you who provides the material for your joke of a machine?” Dark Oak seethed.

Oh, that's a fun bit of syncretism. Brobot part don't come out of nowhere. At least, I don't think they do. Depends on how the Void works, and if they have any Rogues thereof on hand.
I know, I know, outside the bounds of this particular story. But it is fun in its own right.

And yes, alas for Nastasia. Tragic romance surrounds Count Bleck like his own cape.

Still, on to the next world, the next Heart, and the last heroine! I think I have an idea of what the first may be. Hooray for the process of elimination.

[Spellflame]

Hey, GM you are really making this fit.