Muscles and Tussles
“Ha-HAH!” Rarity shouted, slamming her hoof on the table and upsetting the holographic display of the battle slightly. “Oh, we’re winning.”
“It appears so,” Worf admitted. “The battle in the skies is evenly matched, and highly distracting. The exterior of the Castle has become… a stalemate. It is only the interior sites that are uncertain.” He pointed at the few points in the Castle where combat was happening, trying to keep the Castle forces from interfering with the journey of the heroes. “If the aerial battle cannot push any landing parties to the top of the Castle, we will not hold for long enough.”
“We have to, you know we do. And we will.” Rarity smirked. “We don’t need transporters to win this one. How soon until Twilight reaches us?”
“Soon, assuming she is not held up.”
“We’ve kept that hall clear, it should have nothing in it.”
“Then soon, despite the fact that they are not running at full speed.”
“They need to conserve energy,” Rarity huffed. “Not all of us are career soldiers, you know.”
“You have fought honorably and skillfully. You make an excellent soldier.”
Rarity sucked in a sharp breath. “I understand that’s a compliment in your society, so I will take it as such. But it is quite the opposite in mine. Soldiering—the kind we’re doing now, not the defensive guarding of posts—is seen as distasteful on Equis. What I’ve become is quite nasty.”
Worf nodded in understanding. “You don’t seem badly affected by it.”
She smiled at him with wild eyes. “That’s because I’m Rarity, darling.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Oh, you will, you will.” She summoned her blade to her side. “I’m going out to clean away some mooks. Keep an eye on the tactical situation and call me if anything goes particularly south.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And tell Cortez to stop being such a show-off if he calls in. It’s unbecoming.” Fully aware of her hypocrisy, she let out a decidedly unladylike laugh before leaving the room.
~~~
A fair distance into Count Bleck’s castle, there were no enemies to speak of. Twilight and the others had slowed down their blind run to a brisk walk, allowing them to regain energy as they marched through a hall of darkness that gave way to a massive hole in the wall leading to yet another hall.
“I can’t imagine trying to find our way through this place without Rarity…” Twilight said.
“A-hem!” Toph waved her arms. “If this hole wasn’t here you’d have to go through the door on the left, jump down the slide, walk up the corkscrew room and choose the fifth to last door.”
“...As I said, I can’t imagine trying to find our way through this place without Rarity. You can’t map all the way to the central chamber, can you?”
Toph stomped her foot on the ground as hard as she could. Her grin quickly faltered into a deep frown. “No.”
“Then we must thank her when we meet her,” Caspian said, twirling his sword around. “She is somewhere within the castle, yes?”
Twilight nodded. “We should pass by her waystation on the way to the central chamber.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Tippi said. “You did talk a lot about your old friends back when we first started this mission.”
“Too much,” Toph grumbled.
“...I don’t think I’ve heard much,” Vivian said. “What’s Rarity like?”
Twilight smiled. “She’s generous, fashionable, a true lady of culture, refined, careful, and understanding. She’s also apparently a lot more determined and resourceful than I gave her credit for, though I really shouldn’t be surprised. Still… leader of the Resistance?”
“I’m sure she was the perfect mare for the job,” Cosmo said. She currently had her nose in the Light Prognosticus, having recently discovered the Staff of Holding’s ‘levitate’ function that kept the book open in front of her without straining her arms with its immense girth.
“She is, I suppose,” Twilight admitted. “But my brother is here. I do wonder why he didn’t take command.”
“Emotionally compromised by the situation with his wife, perhaps?” Data asked.
“Maybe. ...I hope I get to see him. And Rarity. And… well, all of them.” She smiled brightly. “I’m going to throw them all a feast. And a party. No, I’ll have Pinkie throw the party. And there’ll be—”
“GRAH-GOOGLY!”
O’Chunks leaped out of a hidden trapdoor in the ground, pausing to flex in front of them. “I’ll be a—”
Cosmo let out a yell and swung the staff of holding, hitting O’Chunks right in the face with the levitated Light Prognosticus. He was so shocked by the sudden slap that he stumbled backward, dumbfounded.
“Cosmo!” Tippi gasped. “You can’t just… use the Light Prognosticus as a weapon!”
“...I dunno,” Cosmo said, shaking the Light Prognosticus around with the Staff. “I think it’s pretty effective.”
“Howzzat fair?” O’Chunks muttered. “I didn’t even give me bit!”
“Oh, sorry!” Cosmo put her free hand over her mouth. “I just… kinda reacted. You know. Enemy, running to the center, end of all worlds?” Cosmo smiled innocently.
“Aight, you’re forgiven, lass.”
“Thank you!”
“What is wrong with you two?” Toph facepalmd. “We’re enemies!”
Cosmo folded her arms. “That doesn’t mean we have to be jerks to him.”
“Yeh! Show some respect!” O’Chunks stomped on the ground to emphasize his point.
“Ugh…” Toph cracked her knuckles. “Data, extrapolating from your previous experience with me and O’Chunks, tell me, how likely is it he wins this encounter with me?”
“Zero point one three percent,” Data said.
“Ay, that’s a one in ten shot!” O’Chunks laughed.
“No, that would be thirteen in ten thousand.”
“Oh.” O’Chunks shook his head. “No matter, I’ll take those odds and tell ‘em where to shove it!”
“And it was calculated only against Toph. Your chances against all of us are so slim I would spend more time pronouncing the zeroes than the significant digits.”
“Eh… wut?”
“Oh for crying out loud.” Toph lifted her hand and created a square pillar, smashing O’Chunks into the ceiling. “I’ll get rid of him quickly.”
“No yeh won’t!” O’Chunks grabbed a cube she threw at him and crushed it in his hands. “I’ve been trainin’! Yeh got nuttin’ on me!” He struck a pose, flexing his arms. This time, it actually served a purpose, much to Toph’s bewilderment. He grew to double his previous height, standing half the way to the massive hall’s ceiling. “Hah! Lookit me, the new, improved, O’Chun—”
Toph smashed him into the ceiling again, following it up with folding the ceiling’s material around him and dragging him into the ground. “Improved my foot.”
He burst out with such alarming speed that Toph never stood a chance. He grabbed her by the foot and threw her over his shoulder, slamming her into the ceiling and then into the floor.
“Okay…” Toph grumbled, standing up. “You know what…? I don’t need to get injured to prove a point. Everyone, little help?”
Data fired his phaser first, but it did absolutely nothing to O’Chunks. “Curious…”
“I got me one o’ them fancy magic force fields!” O’Chunks laughed. “Yer fancy toy can’t do nothin’ to m—”
Data opted to just punch him in the stomach, knocking him over. Cosmo swung the Staff of Holding, smacking O’Chunks in the face with the Light Prognosticus again to minimal effect. With an innocent grin, she shrugged. “Book smash is ineffective! I repeat, book smash is ineffective!”
“Havin’ fun, are yeh?” O’Chunks whipped back into a standing position and jumped for Cosmo, only to get Caspian’s shield to the face. “Oi! Wot is it with yeh and my face? I… wait a minute, yer the one who stabbed my eye!”
“You got it back,” Caspian noted.
“Still hurt!” He brought his fist down.
“Enough,” Twilight said, freezing O’Chunks in a block of ice and levitating Caspian out of the way. “Vivian, if O’Chunks so much as moves, burn his beard off.”
Vivian raised both her fingers, sparking them with fire. “With pleasure!”
O’Chunks moved, breaking out of the ice in a rush. Vivian’s fire went right to his face, but his forcefield prevented the fire from getting through. “Uh…”
“Stop,” Twilight ordered. With her telekinesis, she grabbed O’Chunks and lifted him off the ground.
“Wha… ay! Ay, pumme down and fight like a man!”
“One, not a man. Two, no.” Twilight lifted her head and smirked cockily. “You know, when we first met, I don’t think I had enough strength or will to lift something with your girth and strength of will. But this journey has hardened me, given me the opportunity to increase my capacities. I am stronger than when we first met, O’Chunks. And I’m not putting you down until I’m sure you aren't a threat.”
“I’m always a threat!”
“Toph, throw cubes into his skull until he gets knocked out or delirious or something.”
Cosmo winced. “That’s… going to hurt.”
“It is. But I’m already trying sleep spells and muscle relaxant spells. They simply don’t work on O’Chunks. And I can’t imprison him since he could just break out of anything. And I’m not wasting magic carrying him with us the entire way.”
Toph cracked her knuckles. “All right, Chunky. If you want this to be over quick I recommend you start feeling sleepy.”
“I have a suggestion,” Data said, raising his hand. “Now that he is immobilized I do know the Vulcan nerve pinch. I can administer it to him.”
“The wot now?” O’Chunks asked.
“If it’ll be less ugly, please do,” Twilight encouraged.
With a nod, Data walked over to O’Chunks and precisely pressed his fingers to an area at his neck, pressing down on a major nerve cluster the vast majority of humanoids shared.
“Heh! That ain’t gonna… do…” O’Chunks began to shrink back to his normal size. “Nuttin…” His eyes rolled into the back of his skull and he went limp.
Twilight set him down. “Well. It looks like we can expect resistance as we approach the central chamber after all. At least his personal minions.”
“We’ve beat them all before, we can beat them all again!” Toph declared. With a wince, she rubbed her bruised arm. “This time without challenging them to one on ones or anything dumb like that.”
“Agreed,” Tippi said.
“It is not precisely true that we’ve beaten them all before,” Data said. “We never engaged Dark Oak in direct combat, merely ship-to-ship.”
“Oh…” Cosmo frowned. “That’s right, if we run into him… he was able to keep Sonic at bay even with all seven of the real chaos emeralds.”
“We’ll deal with him if we get to him,” Twilight said. “Right now… we keep moving.” She led them onward, deeper into the black halls of Castle Bleck.
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… oh, so no one on one… oh well
11183712
Maybe next time.
This may be the first time in fanfic history that Worf has given Rarity praise.
I'm so glad we get to skip all the tedious parts.
Well, I did say it looks pretty heavy...
Besides, O'Chunks is by far the least evil of Bleck's minions. If anyone deserves respect it's him.
This is so in character I'm not entirely convinced this isn't lifted straight from the game.
Oh god he's competent!
Sucker Punch, however, is effective, which gives the horrifying implication that O'Chunks is a Ghost type.
Twilight is a badass. O'Chunks does not know when to shut up.
Yeah, that would be dumb, hahaha...
Yeah, but Sonic's only power is going really fast. Meanwhile, Data has a gun.
O'Chunks is down, and Cosmo has finally unlocked her ultimate weapon: The Prognosticus Staff! It will serve her well as the heroes explore deeper into Bleck's Castle. Meanwhile, Rarity's mental state has hit rock bottom. Good thing there's a war to worry about or else I'd be concerned.
...That...is one of the most devastating burns I have ever heard Data utter.
The humor in this story is top notch.
11183889
11187121
Not quite: When I say "gun" I mean his phaser, a weapon the fires not physical projectiles but beams of charged particles. In this case, it is the beam itself which holds the energy and is thus inflicting harm, unlike projectile weapons like contemporary firearms that confer kinetic energy on to the bullet being fired. The speed of a phaser beam thus has no impact on its lethality, only how charged the particles are from the phasers settings.
11187283
Fair enough. But this individual held Sonic at Bay when he was empowered by the Chaos Emeralds. In other words, Super Sonic. That's a big deal, because Super Sonic is a lot more than just faster. We'll see how Blackjack portrays it, but I severly doubt that it's going to be so easy.